Cancerbabe
@Cancerbabe
12 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 207 · Topics: 10
Experience with a Sag
he told me a lot of things that bothered him about me (which was never said to me btw and apparently wasn't a big problem till now) ??_ I pleaded with him to work this out and he said he cant cuz his heart wasn't in it anymore??_ we ended up having sex and then he wanted to leave cuz he said he didn't expect this to happen??_ I broke down cuz I was so emotional??_ he held me and said he cant give me an answer right now but it wont be the last time I hear from him??_ told me he loves me (first time he's saying this)??_ I gave him all his stuff and told him I cant be friends with him??_ I gotta move on??_ he said he understood
and left??_.
A week later??_ I missed him so I tried to hang out with him??_ he didn't respond to my texts??_ then finally he said he told me many times his heart isn't in it no more??_ and he's very sorry??_
Now ??_ im getting better but still miss him ??_ just starting to move on and date other people ??_
Guess what I want to know is??_. Given this situation??_ would he come back? I mean he's come back many times before ??_ he's fought so hard to stay in this relationship only to give up so easily now??_. At this point I mean I would take him back if he was to come back and do things right this time but there's a part of me that do not want to keep doing this on and off thing with him cuz it leaves me more broken than before everytime he leaves??_.
What ya??ll think?
and left??_.
A week later??_ I missed him so I tried to hang out with him??_ he didn't respond to my texts??_ then finally he said he told me many times his heart isn't in it no more??_ and he's very sorry??_
Now ??_ im getting better but still miss him ??_ just starting to move on and date other people ??_
Guess what I want to know is??_. Given this situation??_ would he come back? I mean he's come back many times before ??_ he's fought so hard to stay in this relationship only to give up so easily now??_. At this point I mean I would take him back if he was to come back and do things right this time but there's a part of me that do not want to keep doing this on and off thing with him cuz it leaves me more broken than before everytime he leaves??_.
What ya??ll think?
i aint no sag male, but its safe to say, he's hedging his bets and has been for quite some time.
but it does read like your the only one "fighting" for this relationship.
As a sag when things cease to be fun and its nothing but fighting, i just start looking to greener pastures.
As a sag when things cease to be fun and its nothing but fighting, i just start looking to greener pastures.
You had sex with him after he said his heart wasn't in it anymore. Why weren't you guarded? He was halfway out before he came over to your place, do you expect him to take you seriously now?
i would have a huge guard up when it comes to this guy.
Posted by DMV
i would have a huge guard up when it comes to this guy.
Yep. It's a thorough mess now.
Thanks dmv and trine... Well when he left tr first time we had sex and he ended up staying so I thought it can work out the same... Guess this time was different... I mean everything he said last time was almost the same except the love u part and he still came back
Posted by Cancerbabe
Thanks dmv and trine... Well when he left tr first time we had sex and he ended up staying so I thought it can work out the same... Guess this time was different... I mean everything he said last time was almost the same except the love u part and he still came back
Your needs are emotional, right? Why use sex as a bait to keep him hooked? How does that help you?
Well... I didn't Plan in using it cuz he's the one that sort of initiated it ... Then I gave in cuz I still wanted him. Passion was there so I thought maybe he will want to work it out after
the passion that your feeling is the sag wanting to freak passion. we go hard to get it, but once he's gotten it, he becomes ghost. its fleeting and temporary. ive done it to men and its just a satisfying me need kinda thing.
you want something concrete. something you can stick your teeth into.
you want something concrete. something you can stick your teeth into.
Posted by trine
You had sex with him after he said his heart wasn't in it anymore. Why weren't you guarded? He was halfway out before he came over to your place, do you expect him to take you seriously now?
ive been there thinking that if i slept with a guy, he'd do this or that. it works for some women.
You said said you "thought it would work out similarly the second time because he stayed the first time" - you could have controlled him, he didn't force himself brutally upon you - you chose not to. This isn't really passion, you've studied his behaviour, and you know what he wants. You should have stood your ground. I'm not blaming you, but don't entertain his weaknesses to address yours.
Posted by DMVPosted by trine
You had sex with him after he said his heart wasn't in it anymore. Why weren't you guarded? He was halfway out before he came over to your place, do you expect him to take you seriously now?
ive been there thinking that if i slept with a guy, he'd do this or that. it works for some women.click to expand
Okay, let's assume it works and he's back. She needs him for the company and warmth. If sex is what she has to offer, how will he understand her needs? And if he doesn't understand, he's unlikely to stay for long. Rinse and repeat, entice him again? This is standard male behaviour, we aren't even taking into account the legendary wandering ways of the Sag here.
ya i feel you DMV... just holding on to the hope that we can work it out...
Trine... you're absolutely right.... i was weak at that point and was willing to get some sort of affection from him... even if it was what it was... i know he likes the chase cuz it's happened so many times... i even suggested that we have an open relationship so he can do him and i do me... but he got angry at that suggestion and said he didnt want to be with anyone else... (although i think he just dont want me with no one else) either way... i gave him an option and when i acted like i didnt care he would keep pushing to be with me and to try to do things with him
Posted by Cancerbabe
Trine... you're absolutely right.... i was weak at that point and was willing to get some sort of affection from him... even if it was what it was... i know he likes the chase cuz it's happened so many times... i even suggested that we have an open relationship so he can do him and i do me... but he got angry at that suggestion and said he didnt want to be with anyone else... (although i think he just dont want me with no one else) either way... i gave him an option and when i acted like i didnt care he would keep pushing to be with me and to try to do things with him
You're bending out of shape for the guy, and it flatters him. Don't think this means much more to him. You are losing your identity for nothing in return. This time, wait for him to come back, and take stock of the situation. Put your foot down and rattle him with your clarity of purpose. If he stays, well and good. If he doesn't, he is not worth your affection. Sorry, but it is what I've gathered from your posts. I know it is difficult for a Cancerian, and I can relate - I have a cancer moon. You have to go for the jugular, however. This is important in the long run. It will do a whole lot of good to your self esteem - and you need it, because it'll keep you from relapsing into such relationships again.
Posted by trinePosted by Cancerbabe
Trine... you're absolutely right.... i was weak at that point and was willing to get some sort of affection from him... even if it was what it was... i know he likes the chase cuz it's happened so many times... i even suggested that we have an open relationship so he can do him and i do me... but he got angry at that suggestion and said he didnt want to be with anyone else... (although i think he just dont want me with no one else) either way... i gave him an option and when i acted like i didnt care he would keep pushing to be with me and to try to do things with him
You're bending out of shape for the guy, and it flatters him. Don't think this means much more to him. You are losing your identity for nothing in return. This time, wait for him to come back, and take stock of the situation. Put your foot down and rattle him with your clarity of purpose. If he stays, well and good. If he doesn't, he is not worth your affection. Sorry, but it is what I've gathered from your posts. I know it is difficult for a Cancerian, and I can relate - I have a cancer moon. You have to go for the jugular, however. This is important in the long run. It will do a whole lot of good to your self esteem - and you need it, because it'll keep you from relapsing into such relationships again.click to expand
Yes... i have already made that decision that i will no longer contact him... it has been 1 week since i've made contact and will continue to move on... if he does come back... we will have work for both of us... but if he doesnt then i will be ok with it... i guess right now im still emotional and hurting
Posted by CancerbabePosted by trinePosted by Cancerbabe
Trine... you're absolutely right.... i was weak at that point and was willing to get some sort of affection from him... even if it was what it was... i know he likes the chase cuz it's happened so many times... i even suggested that we have an open relationship so he can do him and i do me... but he got angry at that suggestion and said he didnt want to be with anyone else... (although i think he just dont want me with no one else) either way... i gave him an option and when i acted like i didnt care he would keep pushing to be with me and to try to do things with him
You're bending out of shape for the guy, and it flatters him. Don't think this means much more to him. You are losing your identity for nothing in return. This time, wait for him to come back, and take stock of the situation. Put your foot down and rattle him with your clarity of purpose. If he stays, well and good. If he doesn't, he is not worth your affection. Sorry, but it is what I've gathered from your posts. I know it is difficult for a Cancerian, and I can relate - I have a cancer moon. You have to go for the jugular, however. This is important in the long run. It will do a whole lot of good to your self esteem - and you need it, because it'll keep you from relapsing into such relationships again.
Yes... i have already made that decision that i will no longer contact him... it has been 1 week since i've made contact and will continue to move on... if he does come back... we will have work for both of us... but if he doesnt then i will be ok with it... i guess right now im still emotional and hurtingclick to expand
Natural to hurt, you are invested. Be firm and let things unfold naturally. You'll be fine.
Posted by trinePosted by Cancerbabe
Trine... you're absolutely right.... i was weak at that point and was willing to get some sort of affection from him... even if it was what it was... i know he likes the chase cuz it's happened so many times... i even suggested that we have an open relationship so he can do him and i do me... but he got angry at that suggestion and said he didnt want to be with anyone else... (although i think he just dont want me with no one else) either way... i gave him an option and when i acted like i didnt care he would keep pushing to be with me and to try to do things with him
You're bending out of shape for the guy, and it flatters him. Don't think this means much more to him. You are losing your identity for nothing in return. This time, wait for him to come back, and take stock of the situation. Put your foot down and rattle him with your clarity of purpose. If he stays, well and good. If he doesn't, he is not worth your affection. Sorry, but it is what I've gathered from your posts. I know it is difficult for a Cancerian, and I can relate - I have a cancer moon. You have to go for the jugular, however. This is important in the long run. It will do a whole lot of good to your self esteem - and you need it, because it'll keep you from relapsing into such relationships again.click to expand
thanks, Trine ... i appreciate it...
You're welcome. 🙂
@Cancerbabe:
I will try to help you as best I can. I'd like to ask for you to put aside any views you have on men and Sag males in particular. I am in no way saying that what happened is your fault or that you're responsible.
The arguments drove him away. It's not that we don't expect there to be fights, but if the overall environment isn't positive we'll leave. With that being said, we have an equal responsibility in making sure it stays that way. While I personally don't think you're clingy or needy, during your arguments with him its probably how you came off. He most likely feels that nothing he does will make you happy emotionally therefore he felt it was best to back away. This does not mean that he doesn't love or care about you. Take an objective view. Most guys wouldn't have even shown up to talk and have an honest and deep conversation. Look at his actions. He's just as confused as you are. Hence he comes and goes. No contact then he texts. This comes off as him trying to "play" you but he's not. He wants to leave but he wants to stay. Him backing off is his way of giving you space to see if you've cooled off and changed but he doesn't express this and you take it as him coming and then abandoning you. Remember this, there's your perception, his perception, and the truth is ALWAYS in the middle. Essentially, how you two are relating to each other. I honor others opinion, but I think you should take a different approach.
My instincts say you will hear from him again because I feel he still cares. He said the first time he wanted to be friends. It's a way for him to see if you've change or to try to rebuild the situation to maybe be romantic again. When you talk to him, I suggest you don't make demand or put your foot down. I'm not saying you don't have a right to ask for consideration or respect, I'm saying be tactful in your approach. Too much emotion or drama causes us to back off and it comes across as controlling. It will immediately cause us to back off. This will also tell you who you're dealing with. If he's reasonable, he'll meet you halfway. Simply ask him what goes he need, state yours, and see if you two can meet in the middle.
I will try to help you as best I can. I'd like to ask for you to put aside any views you have on men and Sag males in particular. I am in no way saying that what happened is your fault or that you're responsible.
The arguments drove him away. It's not that we don't expect there to be fights, but if the overall environment isn't positive we'll leave. With that being said, we have an equal responsibility in making sure it stays that way. While I personally don't think you're clingy or needy, during your arguments with him its probably how you came off. He most likely feels that nothing he does will make you happy emotionally therefore he felt it was best to back away. This does not mean that he doesn't love or care about you. Take an objective view. Most guys wouldn't have even shown up to talk and have an honest and deep conversation. Look at his actions. He's just as confused as you are. Hence he comes and goes. No contact then he texts. This comes off as him trying to "play" you but he's not. He wants to leave but he wants to stay. Him backing off is his way of giving you space to see if you've cooled off and changed but he doesn't express this and you take it as him coming and then abandoning you. Remember this, there's your perception, his perception, and the truth is ALWAYS in the middle. Essentially, how you two are relating to each other. I honor others opinion, but I think you should take a different approach.
My instincts say you will hear from him again because I feel he still cares. He said the first time he wanted to be friends. It's a way for him to see if you've change or to try to rebuild the situation to maybe be romantic again. When you talk to him, I suggest you don't make demand or put your foot down. I'm not saying you don't have a right to ask for consideration or respect, I'm saying be tactful in your approach. Too much emotion or drama causes us to back off and it comes across as controlling. It will immediately cause us to back off. This will also tell you who you're dealing with. If he's reasonable, he'll meet you halfway. Simply ask him what goes he need, state yours, and see if you two can meet in the middle.
@beautiful... Thank you so much... Exactly what I needed
There's still a lot in me that wants him back and I told myself that If he did I will give it a fair chance to make it work... I think we both deserve it. If he doesn't ... I know I will be ok just like I've always been...
There's still a lot in me that wants him back and I told myself that If he did I will give it a fair chance to make it work... I think we both deserve it. If he doesn't ... I know I will be ok just like I've always been...
Posted by Cancerbabe
@beautiful... Thank you so much... Exactly what I needed
There's still a lot in me that wants him back and I told myself that If he did I will give it a fair chance to make it work... I think we both deserve it. If he doesn't ... I know I will be ok just like I've always been...
You're welcome! Good luck 🙂
*gasp* u gave him an ultimatum and he did not run for the heels?!?!? wow. thats new!
*hills
Guess at that time he really wanted to be with me... I gave him many ultimatums and he kept fighting for us... Guess now he's just tired of fighting 😢
wow this was almost a year ago..... its crazy looking back now. i was so distraught over this sag.... and now i'm crazy in love with this Leo that i met a few months after.... like this sag never existed
crazy
excuse my nostalgia lol
crazy
excuse my nostalgia lol
LOL, I'll bet Cluelessvita will be happy to hear that.
Posted by silentkiller
OH!
MY!
GOD!
I see this is an old topic.... Just sounds a lot like my own story, only I am the female and a scorp/sag, and he was the cancer. Ha ha😄 Must not be something with astrology, but more somethng with men vs. women or some shit like that.
Good to read you are in love Again🙂
lol yep... sometimes its not even with signs but the gender roles lol
thanks girl! 🙂
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i'm a cancer he's a sag...
right from the beginning we had a dificult relationship. we argued and fought all the time. just about trivial things. until he got real upset at me and ignored me for 3 weeks. i tried to hold on to him... calling... texting... just to try to get him back and he ignored me for 3 weeks. until i blocked him from all social networks. then lo and behold he msged me telling me that i blocked him and i'm immature for dealing with this situattion like this. In my mind i was like "wtf" you ignored me for weeks so i thought u did not want to be with me or see me any longer... anyway we ended up seeing each other again and eventhough he was back i didnt like that we were casual. So i gave him an ultimatum... i said we shouldnt continue this if we arent going anywhere with this. For the fear of losing me.... he committed to me. Although he did ... he still acted like he wasnt in a relationship. we would have constant fights about respect and calling me and treating me like i'm actually his girl ... not just by title.
i wasnt happy it was a constant battle ... we would make up to break up. I would threaten to leave and he would act right to keep me. it was my way of control and to tame him. I gave him the freedom and didnt ask for much just respect. But he's gotten a lot better and actually was being showing and proving more ??_
fastforward current situation is ... he posted something on a social network that he was out with some girl. prior to doing this we were ok. no fights no arguments just fine. When i saw it i went off on him cursed him out and told him it was over. i acted out of emotions and hurt and he wont talk to me about this. i realize that i should have played it cool but hindside is 20/20. there's nothing i can do to change my first reaction now. after some thoughts and my own guilt because i made mistakes and i do love him ... i wanted to try to work things out with him and just move forward.... he hasnt really been responding back to my texts or calls .. only to say he was busy until a week later he told me it was over and not to contact him anymore. ...
a week after that he msged me and said he just wanted the calls and texts to stop (cuz i blew up the m'fer lol) and he still wanted to be friends but me and him just aint right... I asked him to come over to talk ... he agreed, he came by and we got deep into it...