How do I handle my SagGirl?

Last Friday evening I went on a date with a SagGirl. I found her instantly attractive - her looks, dress sense, personality, etc. and we had a nice evening. We met again on Thursday and had another pleasant evening. Normally Sag and Virgo shouldn't work, but I have Leo rising and a Libra stellium, so I reckon I have a fighting chance with her, though I need to find out what's in her chart too.

Now, here's the thing...

She comes across as quite shy and quiet. I normally respond best to women who are quite loud and confident because I am shy and quiet and need someone to bring me out of my shell. If I put myself in her place then I could perhaps reason that she needs a confident guy to bring her out of her shell and that maybe she's responding to my quietness by becoming quiet herself because she doesn't know how to handle me. When people are outgoing a lot that's usually hidden tends to be visible, so you can tell who you're dealing with and how to handle them, but when they're quiet you have to look for subtle hints, second-guess who you're dealing with and respond accordingly. The obvious answer, I guess, is just to be myself, but I would like to get off to a good start with her by ascertaining how best to handle a SagGirl who is currently quite shy and quiet and perhaps needs a strong-willed man to take control.

What should I do?

I'd be the more out going one. I'm like this too. That should help, just show her yourself and she can trust you to be that and she'll open up to you. I like the virgos🙂

I'm a "textbook" Sagittarius according to majority of the descriptions out there that I've read. I used to be very shy when I was younger. (Got over that in my 20's, now I talk too much!) Anyway, all I can do is imagine the situation if I was in it before I came out of my shell. Just be patient, and be yourself; don't play act being outgoing if you normally wouldn't be at this stage. We can usually see through people and analyse them pretty well, so, quite possibly, you'll confuse her. Then you'll both end up uncomfortable. But do project confidence, even if you've gotta fake it til you make it. When I smell fear on a man I completely loose respect and interest for a romantic connection. I think the wise move would be to plan dates that don't heavily rely on conversation, like movies or other activities that don't involve just the two of you sitting opposite each other, inwardly overanalyzing the situation. That would give opportunity for you both to get used to each other's company. Then perhaps (1) she'll become less shy or (2) you'll be more at ease with her level of reserve. And by the way, shy or at home anywhere I go now - an intimate dinner for two is my least favorite thing to do on a date. It's, well, boring and mushy. Please excuse any typos or sentence structure errors, I insist on using my phone b/c I find sitting at my desk boring, too.

I like it that two of you have picked up on the fact that we should avoid dates that rely heavily on conversation and put us under pressure to be one another's sole source of entertainment. I had come to this conclusion too. Both of our first dates have been meals out together, which have put us under quite some pressure, though we've done alright. I was concerned though that we should get out and have some fun in an environment with plenty of distractions so that we can both relax and become more familiar with one another and was hoping that she wouldn't write me off because things weren't "easy" enough during our first two dates. Fortunately she is keen to persevere, as am I, so from now on we're going to be more entertainment oriented. Things are rather difficult at the moment though because she lives a very long way away, so I can only see her during the week if I meet her immediately after work before she commutes home, and that means eating together. Weekends should be easier though, in fact we've already arranged to have a day out together next Sunday so I'm planning something fun and entertaining.

Progress report!

Well, she seems to be coming out of her shell a little bit, which in turn is making me come out of my shell and act more confidently, which in turn is really perking her up! We're seeing each other tomorrow evening and having a day out together on Sunday. What's also really great is that our text messages are becoming a little cheeky and fun, and she also seems to love receiving compliments - I always get a really warm response with loads of kisses on the end when I send her something nice. I can't believe, after the impressions that I've had of Sags before, that I'm now feeling so warm and affectionate toward one! This girl is adorable!!

Date 3 last night.

I know we shouldn't be creating pressure for ourselves by doing things that rely heavily on conversation, but at the moment she lives a very long way away so the only opportunity to meet is after work during the week, before she commutes home. As we're both hungry at that time going for something to eat is the only realistic option, so once more we went for something to eat. This will change soon as she's moving much nearer where I live.

Anyway, we had a lovely evening. The conversation flowed, I've gained quite a bit of confidence and we're becoming more relaxed around each other. She looks so beautiful that I could spend a whole evening just staring at her face but fortunately we find plenty to talk about too! I like to think of this as a "slow burner". We're gradually warming to each other and becoming more and more friendly, cheeky and tactile with one another. Some of the conversation was really encouraging too - she seemed to be "fishing" for an indication as to what I might be like to relate to on a long-term basis and even to live with! Hopefully we'll get to find out for real some day!!

Next date is Sunday - we're going out together for the day. There should be plenty of fun distractions so I'm really looking forward to it 🙂

She just texted me and finished it. She said that while we had loads on common she wasn't feeling a spark. I really liked this one 😢

We be crazy

What I don't get is why she sent text messages saying things like...

"I heard a song and it made me think about you"
"I'm lying in bed thinking about you"
"see you tomorrow sexy"

... if she thought there was no spark. Why did she give me the impression that she was feeling something if she wasn't?

You're probably right, but I just don't have the confidence for that spontaneous stuff. I was actually forcing myself to be more forward and "out of my shell" than I usually am, because I know I'd love it if someone took a strong interest in me, but there's only so far that a shy guy like me can go. If she really did throw away such a great long-term prospect because I wasn't able to produce the short-term "sales pitch" then it's a shame.