Another Scorpio Topic about another crazy Scorpio

What's up? DanitheV here! This is my first ever post on dxpnet as I just started my account today. I've read previous forums and decided to start my own to hear what others think about my situation. Any feedback or advice is highly welcome. I'm only 20 and I know that I have a lot to learn, so pardon me if I sound dumb at times, lol. Anyways on with my tale...

I met this Scorpio man over 2 years ago in my freshman year of college. I had just turned 18 and he was 23 about to be 24. We became instant friends and would hang out a lot during the semester. Unfortunately the following semester, we became less close as we were busy doing our own thing and I moved to a different location. We eventually reconnected during the following summer and he asked me out and we had dated ever since with two breakups along the way.
Fast forward two years, we had been dating a year and were supposed to move in together officially since he had lived we me at my apartment and after we moved out, we lived with his parents. Note that during this time, he was not working but I was in addition to buying food for him, spending money on him, helping him out with school, internships and the like, cooking for him, and showing how much I loved him by taking care of him and always including him as much a possible. We had a huge fight(again)with us saying hurtful things to each other and he left me, leaving me to fend for myself. Now he broke up with me saying (again) that he doesn't know what he wants and he wants other options. I said ok even though it hurt and I love him to death but now he calls at least once a night and we still talk and now we're planning on meeting up and having a conversation in the future.
Desperate for input from others, I went to my aunt and uncle who are like my parents, my best friend, and even a psychic for answers. My aunt and uncle hate him and are glad that he's gone. My best friend doesn't know what to say, but she knows that I love him and wants me to be happy. The psychic says and I quote, "we will get back together in at least 3 weeks, we will get married and live happily, and there will be a child soon" lol. The psychic is nice, but I'm having serious doubts and I'm trying to take her advice with a grain of salt, but at the same time, I'm hoping that she's right since we've been through so much together, we always get back together eventually, and I want us both to be happy.

I know that was a ton to read, but I need empathy and advice here.

You wanted to make it very clear that you did everything for him to the point he was leeching off you and that he never gave you anything in return. Psychics tell you what you want to hear.

I hate to be this brash but, he sounds pretty worthless to me. Like, he's keeping you as a "back-up" or something and this is just based of what you've said about him.

Neuro, come back and give an advice!
oh sorry my impulsivity...

@sefflee: Yeah, that's what my aunt says too. I'm just hoping that he'll eventually grow up and stop being so selfish because he can be sweet and caring at times, but those times are far and few between.Then after every fight, I always have to ask him to come back and have to apologize as if I'm the one who always does something wrong. I'm not perfect, but neither is he and we both should recognize our faults. *sighs* I really love this guy though and at times he makes me feel so beautiful and loved. He was also a really close friend seeing that for most of life I've been like a social reject. Even my best friend who I mentioned before seems like she's found other friends and hangs out with the more than she does with me, but maybe that's because we're so caught up in doing our own thing. Thanks for input though, he does seem worthless but why am I so determined to be with him still?

@Serghino: Um.. who is Neuro?

You're probably just lonely and like the "idea" of him. At lot of people can be a lot of things at different times but a shitty person is a shitty person. Somebody who gives you warm fuzzies every once in a while? That's not what love is, dude!

Posted by DanitheV
@sefflee: Yeah, that's what my aunt says too. I'm just hoping that he'll eventually grow up and stop being so selfish because he can be sweet and caring at times, but those times are far and few between.Then after every fight, I always have to ask him to come back and have to apologize as if I'm the one who always does something wrong. I'm not perfect, but neither is he and we both should recognize our faults. *sighs* I really love this guy though and at times he makes me feel so beautiful and loved. He was also a really close friend seeing that for most of life I've been like a social reject. [...] he does seem worthless but why am I so determined to be with him still?

You are acting like an abused wife...

Posted by TigerCap

Posted by DanitheV
@sefflee: Yeah, that's what my aunt says too. I'm just hoping that he'll eventually grow up and stop being so selfish because he can be sweet and caring at times, but those times are far and few between.Then after every fight, I always have to ask him to come back and have to apologize as if I'm the one who always does something wrong. I'm not perfect, but neither is he and we both should recognize our faults. *sighs* I really love this guy though and at times he makes me feel so beautiful and loved. He was also a really close friend seeing that for most of life I've been like a social reject. [...] he does seem worthless but why am I so determined to be with him still?

You are acting like an abused wife...

click to expand

Stockholm Syndrome all over this post. Right?

@sefflee: You're right, I think I do just like the idea of him and it's not what love is, but every time I try to call it quits, my mind goes back to all of the good moments we shared. Not to mention that he always comes back eventually.

@TigerCap: You're probably right too. Maybe it's because my mom is in a similar situation with my dad and that's all that I'm used to. I don't want it to be like this though but I love him and I want to make him better. I want to make bother of us better.

To add to it, I feel like because he is generally young as well, he will start to change and that he'll show me the love that I show him once he graduates and gets a job and gets his life together. I'm trying to be patient while not letting him dictate my life. Maybe it's just wishful thinking.

@ellesque: Yes, I need to leave him alone, but should I cut him off completely or should I say hi every now and then? Yeah, that's a good idea. I should just focus on myself and let him do his thing. It's just that I don't want to see him fail. I want him to succeed so that we can both be successful and happy together. Thanks for the feedback.

Cut him off. Cut him out. Shun him as if he doesn't exist. If he's gonna be successful, he'd do it without you holding his hand. You don't "owe him" anything.

And as for YOU: Rebuild your self-esteem which has obviously taken a major blow.

@sefflee: You are absolutely right! Where has my self esteem gone? I need to get it back pronto and the first step is like you said, pretend he doesn't exist. Great advice everyone. I really appreciate it. Even though I still love him, I'm much too young to sound like an abused wife.

Posted by DanitheV
I'm just hoping that he'll eventually grow up and stop being so selfish because he can be sweet and caring at times, but those times are far and few between.Then after every fight, I always have to ask him to come back and have to apologize as if I'm the one who always does something wrong

Please read up on co-dependence and love addiction to understand your current situation.Also,children,more often than not,are inadvertently are drawn to relationship types they are familiar with.Your mother was the 'enabler' for your dad and you are repeating the same pattern in your relationship.Reflect on it and break this cycle while you can.

Posted by DanitheV
I really love this guy though and *at times* he makes me feel so beautiful and loved. He was also a really close friend seeing that for most of life I've been like a social reject. Even my best friend who I mentioned before seems like she's found other friends and hangs out with the more than she does with me, but maybe that's because we're so caught up in doing our own thing. Thanks for input though, he does seem worthless but why am I so determined to be with him still?

click to expand

Love does not make one feel beautiful and loved 'at times' but all the time.He is feeding you crumbs and you are thinking of them as a feast.Please work on your self esteem and on setting clear boundaries else you will always be the giver in any relationship.

You are young now and the sooner you learn this,the better.

Good luck.

@Scorpvenus: Thank you so much. I'm trying slowly but surely to regain my self-esteem and set clear boundaries. It's hard though because I feel alone, but I'm thinking about trying group counseling at my school and maybe joing a club or something to keep myself occupied.

So he's 26 now?