@7thHouse I don't have an answer to your question but would be curious as to what others would have to say.
Interesting thought though!
I personally think a long lasting relationship needs a bit of both; especially during the different phases of maturation in terms of the commitment. Life factors impact the loving dynamic of give and take. So does changing priorities over the course of time which happens when children are born or career progression.
Just read your post, I want to hug you for your courage and bravery. Leaving is the first step, and you did it. Now its all about moving onward and taking care of yourself. I'm sure that won't be a problem for you.
Transform. Transmute. Transition into the next phase of your life.
... cause treetrunk, no man is worth losing our happiness, joy, and freedom over.
Posted by heliumfiasco I have a serious issue with being the person who does this. It's ruined my relationships prior.
I'm not sure if its an insecurity thing or what. I feel very confident, but im always super curious about a lovers past and I dig or ask and then allow what I find to change my perspective of them and our relationship.
I got into a huge fight with my BF on NYE because I found out that last year (right before we began dating) he was hooking up with a 23 year old bartender from a restaurant he used to frequent. I guess she would text him constantly after he cut he situation short. He is 37. I was so turned off by his behavior that I was actually disgusted. I just didnt view him as that type of person.
Its my least appealing quality and odd that you posted this topic now, because I was going to make one similar.
Do you feel as if you would of been better off without knowing this?
No, it made me realize some areas of personal growth I need to face. I also like to know the side of him that he isnt necessarily open about. Relationships are about growth and im thankful that I have someone who can be patient with me. It kind of made me realize Ive done this in other relationships too. He wants to know NOTHING of my past. That concept blows my mind. hahahaha
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Hah, and that is when we learn that love is truly miraculous and mind warping. That we could love someone that loves so differently to the way we love. To grow and be mature enough to acknowledge that it does not make their love lesser or flawed.