Comforting a Scorpio during a family sickness

As some of you may already know, I've been talking to a Scorpio woman for a few months, and there's been some question of whether we're friends, or "friends".

This is her chart (thanks to Libralula for posting it for me last week):

Sun Scorpio (strong willed, secretive, intense emotions)
Mars Gemini (can get bored easily and jump back and forth, likely to cheat)
Venus Scorpio (cautious, all or nothing in love)
Virgo Moon (worries too much, reserved, modest, shy)

Recently, there's been an issue where her 82 year old grandma (in another country) has gotten sick, and the whole family is worried about her. This is a woman that raised her for the first several years of her life, and her grandma is the only one in the family that acts like she loves her, so she loves her grandma dearly.

We mostly talk online, and she's constantly (almost exclusively) saying that she's very worried. But my replies of "I'm so sorry" and "I hate that you're going through this" are getting redundant, and probably seem insincere. I've encouraged her to talk about her grandma, but she doesn't really respond to that. But it's clearly all that she can think about.

I've offered to come see her several times, but at this point that comes across as selfish and self-serving.

Can you guys offer any advice on how I might comfort her in this situation?

Posted by csdude55
As some of you may already know, I've been talking to a Scorpio woman for a few months, and there's been some question of whether we're friends, or "friends".

This is her chart (thanks to Libralula for posting it for me last week):

Sun Scorpio (strong willed, secretive, intense emotions)
Mars Gemini (can get bored easily and jump back and forth, likely to cheat)
Venus Scorpio (cautious, all or nothing in love)
Virgo Moon (worries too much, reserved, modest, shy)

Recently, there's been an issue where her 82 year old grandma (in another country) has gotten sick, and the whole family is worried about her. This is a woman that raised her for the first several years of her life, and her grandma is the only one in the family that acts like she loves her, so she loves her grandma dearly.

We mostly talk online, and she's constantly (almost exclusively) saying that she's very worried. But my replies of "I'm so sorry" and "I hate that you're going through this" are getting redundant, and probably seem insincere. I've encouraged her to talk about her grandma, but she doesn't really respond to that. But it's clearly all that she can think about.

I've offered to come see her several times, but at this point that comes across as selfish and self-serving.

Can you guys offer any advice on how I might comfort her in this situation?

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You couldn't continue this in the other thread? Seriously?

You couldn't continue this in the other thread? Seriously?

This is a completely different topic, why would it be in a thread that's asking if she's interested in me? There are only 6 active threads today, I don't think a new thread is going to break anything. Seriously.

Isn't this about the woman who keeps backing out of plans? You may want to consider if this is someone who even deserves your time and energy.

Yes, and even though I've backed off of a romantic connection, we're still friends and talk regularly.

Rambunctious, I meant it the other way around. She brings up her grandma constantly, saying she's worried, etc. But I've run out of ways to respond.

Personally, I'm pretty private when it comes to personal tragedy. I would never bring it up, and if anyone said anything it would strike me as insincere. So I don't really know how to react or comfort her. I don't know how she wants me to react; if I try to change the subject to cheer her up, it seems like I don't care. But when I don't, I simply have no idea how to console her.

I dunno, maybe this isn't a Scorpio / Virgo thing.

Posted by csdude55
You couldn't continue this in the other thread? Seriously?

This is a completely different topic, why would it be in a thread that's asking if she's interested in me?

Because you already began to talk about the grandmother in the other thread, and quite frankly, the whining is ridiculous. Be a man, Scorpio women do not like weak men. Don't mean to be so brutal, but it's the truth. I'll just ignore your crap from here on out. Carry on.

Posted by csdude55

We were talking about her 82 year old grandmother going in to the hospital with a possible stroke, and she's worrying about her dying. She was obviously pretty upset. It didn't seem like the right time to ask for clarification on our relationship...

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https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/scorpio/can-t-tell-if-my-scorpio-woman-is-interested-5520134/?p=12#5531330

I'll just ignore your crap from here on out. Carry on.
That really sucks, I thought we were really hitting it off 😭 Oh, well.

So why did you say you encouraged her to talk? I am confused about that line.

I apologize, I can see where that's confusing.

Ever since she told me about her grandma, every conversation has been her mentioning how worried she is. When I said that I encouraged her to talk, I meant that I said, "tell me about your grandma, what is she like?"

That was Monday or Tuesday. She told me a lot about their relationship right then, but since then she's just said "I'm so worried" and things like that.

She can bring up her grandma - it's part of the grieving process. We talk it off. But if other people try to get us to talk about it, we see it as interfering. Are you seeing what I am saying?

Yep, 100% , and that's exactly what I was wanting to learn. I didn't know whether she was being tight-lipped because she's afraid she's boring me (in which case I need to encourage her to talk), or because she really wants to be left alone (in which case encouraging her to talk is just annoying). You make perfect sense, though.

Just ask generic questions like "How are you today?" or "What are your plans?" Things like that. Changing the subject can be done, but it must be VERY subtle, otherwise it will be misinterpreted as being uncaring. If she answers your generic questions with stuff about her grandma, just let her talk.
Cool, I can handle that 🙂 Thanks for the advise!

Disclaimer: I truly think this woman is a really flaky person therefore not worth it of a friendship.
That being said in a more general point of view how to conformt a scorpio during a family sickness is BE THERE, so simple yet so important. If you don't know what to say don't said anything... when my dad passed away my boyfriend at the time used to sit next to me all the time without saying a word and that was so comforting (he is a taurus btw). The fact that if I wanted to talk he would listen and if I didn't wanted to talk he still will be there if I needed him meant the world for me and I feel I will owe him forever for that.