DEATH - being there for someone who has lost someo

My scorp friend's dad died last night. I am so worried about him. I had gone with him to see his dad yesterday & while we're out that nite it happened. It was cancer...very hard to know what to say or do.

How do you be there for somone? 😢

My scorp friend's dad died last night. I am so worried about him. I had gone with him to see his dad yesterday & while we're out that nite it happened. It was cancer...very hard to know what to say or do.

How do you be there for somone? 😢

TG, be there for him all the way. I do not know what type of a scorp he is - the open apparently friendly type or the dark secretive quiet type. But a scorpio will be very vulnerable inside in such instances and although he may not show it, he will be NEEDING you very badly at this juncture

I say be there for him all the way..until he tells you he needs a bit of space..I am sure he will do if he needs it..

He's a open friendly type, but I think he also can shut out easily. I just talked to him & he's leaving town for a week, taking a holiday to get away. I hope it does him well. I feel d@mn depressed for the guy, now I really feel helpless. I guess I can just pray.

Brahn's sh!t seems pretty accurate here. There IS nothing you can say to relieve them from their state, so you either stay close to them anyway (as an ear for them to cry to or a shoulder for them to cry on) or you just go away and let time neutralize their emotions.

Yes everyone deals with things differently. Not sure how scorps deal with pain, but it seems like he'll need space and time. I can't imagine losing my father, I imagine I would almost want to shut out people too.

Pretty much branhs way of doing it would be better for myself personally,in any case giving him a hug or something physical would probably do more than talking about it.Or maybe a really nice card and flowers dropped at his house or something to let him know you'll be there could work too.

Are the realists going soft?? There's no time like the present to give this sissy a dose of realism.




1) Tell him that the consciousness that once animated his father's form has been annihilated, and that death is one just more reminder that we live in a cold, indifferent world. And that if he had just recognized the facts of human existence and avoided forming any attachment in the first place, he wouldn't be suffering now.




2) Ask if him if his father had any kind of insurance policy. Remind him that in the end it's the $ $ $ $ that matters anyway. Heck he could even hire an actor to play his father.




3) Point out that any pain he might be feeling right now is merely subjective, and therefore isn't real. To indulge it is to indulge in idle fantasy.




4) Say your sorry, but all human motivations are selfish in one way or another, and your consoling him is no different. Your real agenda in being there is to make sure than no one else suspects how selfish and uncaring you really are.




That oughta knock any rose-colored glasses from his face.

I agree with Tia's suggestion that you should let him know that you will be there ( maybe you have already done that). Because scorpios feel and say one thing but later you get a jolt when they reveal that more was expected despite them pushing you away. It is so complex...especially with a scorp male.

in_the_phoenix_wake:
1. the reason i love being around this guy is because he is such a happy character, so i wouldn't want him to change, just this is a bad time in life

2. $ $ $ ALL goes to his stepmom

3. he already needs to get away from escapism, i don't wanna encourage more

4. my agenda, my heart feels heavy for him, and selfishly i want to feel better, it helps when i can be there for my friends

Yes I'll be getting him some flowers & a card today. He called me at work today, and wants to see me before he leaves tommorow for a week. He seemed like he wanted to talk and then VERY quickly said he's gotta go, he just woke up, sounded cold. Poor guy doesn't seem to know what to allow himself to feel or how much to open up.

This is hard, and I understand because I can very much be the same way. Ha! -I still haven't figured out how to deal with myself when I get that way.

Well it was going good last night. I listened, hugged him, the works he said I made him feel so good and he had a quiet smile on his face. THEN at 11 he gets calls from his descructive friends (which he wants to drift away from) and says they wanna go out. I kinda pout, knowing it's a horrible idea, and he said, "we'll you're half asleep anyways - what's the diff?." I just get up and rudely say "Ok then I'll go to sleep and you'll see the f'in difference!"

I go to my bed and I hear the door slam hard. I wanna run out and make things ok, but I know that he is gonna do stupid regrettable things with these guys and that he has called me in the morning all sad. NOW he might not call. He's got death hanging over his head. He might pull away. Yet I can't stand by and watch him make a mess of his life. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I don't know what to do!!!

DO I call him and say sorry? Do I explain? waht?

"and also to make sure he's taking care of himself. People become a bit absent-minded about handling daily things in their lives when death hits,"

😢 I also become helpless.