help with a scorpio

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ninainthesky123
@ninainthesky123
19 Years

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Guys, girls, my story is a bit complicated and I?d like to ask if you can help me figure this one out. I?ve been here before, a while ago, but you probably don?t remember my story or me.

Last April, I had an intimate encounter with a Scorpio who is also my neighbor and I felt for him completely. Our third encounter (I mean sexual) was not very good and after that he took a long time to come around again. In the meantime, we?d meet once in a while and he?d be very friendly and nice to me. Our fourth encounter was totally unexpected to me, he came to see me at my house and we talked for a while and when I least expected we were kissing, etc. However, after it all, we were just relaxing and talking he told me that he sensed I had something to tell him and in a way he kind of got out of me that I really liked him. He asked ?but how do you like me?? I said ?a lot? and he said ?would you have a relationship with me?? I: ?I?m really attracted to you, I find you intelligent, good looking, nice, interesting, I guess yes, I would have a relationship with you.? He: ?I feel the same about you, but I like you as a friend, and I never had a romantic relationship with a friend.? That felt like a bucket of could water and I told him that I never had a relationship with a friend either, but then again, I was not physically attracted to my friends. He said ?me neither, but I?m attracted to you.?
Well, the thing is, I?m married, but by the time I was with him, my marriage was already ending. But I only told him that a while after our third encounter. The night I mentioned above, he told me that from the beginning he though of me as a married woman and this is how things were for him.
The next day he called me over to his place and we talked about what was going on. I told him that we?d have to change the nature of our relationship because I didn?t go to bed with my friends. He told me that this is how he felt right then (meaning, me as a friend only) and that things could change. We ended up in bed again, but I told him it was for old times? sake and that it would be our last of such encounters. He?s obviously attracted to me, but I?m afraid he may never see me as more than a fling and/or a friend.
A week later I traveled to meet my Sagitarious husband, who lives in the US (this all happen in Brazil, where I?ve been for the last 8 months, in a 2-year fellowship) and we decided to, finally, really end our marriage (this has been going on for the last 2 years).
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ninainthesky123
@ninainthesky123
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 6
...I?ve been packing my things and arranging all the bureaucratic stuff. The separation horribly tough but friendly and we really want to keep in touch. This has been a wonderful 15-year old marriage, but it has ended.

I?m 41, the Scorpio man is 42.
I?m going back to Brazil by the end of July and don?t know what to expect from this Scorpio or what to do. Anyone has any insights that may help me figure this man out?
I apologize this has become such a long message, but will surely appreciate any help.
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juwanapla
@juwanapla
19 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2950 · Topics: 49
Just don't jump on the scorp right away. Don't let him become your rebound man, which it sounds like he may be right now. Take things slow. He wants control of the relationship and your giving it to him right now. Slow it down. Take some down time from your ended marriage. Think about the future. Think about yourself right now. Tell scorpman you just need the sex to keep you alive.

He might just laugh and endulge you!
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ninainthesky123
@ninainthesky123
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 6
Thank you juwanapla,
I think you're totally right. However, I don?t know if I can have the sex without getting emotionally involved with him. I guess I just have to see what happens. But yes, I?m not going to jump on him at all. I?ll need some time on my own. Just wanted to know if you guys thought that he would eventually come around from what I described. If he doesn?t, well, it?s his problem. I surely don?t have the strength, nor is it my style , to chase him.
Thank you so much ?
By the way, I?m a Gemini, I fall in and out of love very quickly, so if he doesn?t come around, I?ll loose interest, which is a shame? oh well.
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ninainthesky123
@ninainthesky123
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 6
Thank you for your kind words Kennyg. Have you been through a divorce yourself? Do you know the Tarot cards? There?s one called the Tower, which has the image of a tower burning and people falling dramatically off the windows. This is how I feel now. My world is upside-down. I have no idea what will happen, all I care is that we stay friends and keep on caring for each other. It?s impossible to describe?

As for the Scorpio, you may be right, he may care for me more than I give myself credit. But, as time goes by, I realize he is right in trying to protect himself. I?m not in an easy situation and he probably knew that this separation would tear my heart.

In any case, thank you so much. Your comments and all of the others? are really helping me.


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ninainthesky123
@ninainthesky123
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 6
Oh DB, how optimistic you are ?
I do think he likes me more that he?ll admit, but he's not in love with me. He said it himself that it could chang though (maybe he already is, who knows?. he's indeed a dork, hahaha!).
Thing is, I?m not sure what I?ll do, as I go through this and on top of it, being a Gemini? I?m in love with him, but I also really want to be by myself, arg, don?t know ?..
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ninainthesky123
@ninainthesky123
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 6
Kenny,
I'm doing quite well in Brazil. Actually, I'm Brazilian (hence my weird English...). I left Brazil 15 years ago and went to live with my Sag husband (then boyfriend). We moved around and ended up in LA (he's American). He knew someday I'd have to go back to Brazil cos I got a grant to do my doctorate and the deal was to return and teach for 3 years in Bz. When that time came, he wasn't ready to go with me. I spent 6 months there and he was still not ready. 8 months later I realized I was doing quite well without him. Was finally enjoying myself again, having fun, falling in love.... I came back to see him in the US before my plans because he had to go through a surgery. All went very well and he's completely out of risk. We talked about our relationship and he kept telling me that this time we'd probably have to go without each other for a long time (we lived apart for a year once and managed to keep our marriage). Then I had to tell him that I didn't want that anymore. If I had to be by myself in Brazil for 2 or more years, I wanted to be free. I'm scared to death, but hell, I'm 41 one now, I need to do something now.

The Scorpio planned to have a cleaning lady clear his house before inviting me for a glass of wine in our second encounter, but forgot to leave the keys. The place was a bit of a mess when I went there. Didn?t stop me though...
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ninainthesky123
@ninainthesky123
19 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 6
How nice, an oktoberfest. I went to one of those in Munich, ah their beer-gardens!

I'm so happy to see that you're doing well and seems to be really happy with your new beu, it gives me hope. It's interesting how sometimes you think you're ok in a certain situation only to realize, after an unforseen storm, that it could be so much better. That's what I'm hoping for 🙂

Never been to Ireland, but the time we lived in London, I met some wonderful and crazy Irish. Lov'em!