I'm so confused by scorpio woman, please help

I love a scorpio woman and she loves me too. I know she loves me because not only did she verbally express this, but her actions speak volumes. We have officially been together under a year and this has been the best and worst relationship ever. When it's good, its mmm mmm good! But when its bad, it's like a state of emergency! #1 she has huge trust issues and I mean huge. She was betrayed horribly in the past and I feel like she is always waiting on the other shoe to drop with. I'm constantly jumping through hoops and explaining myself. It's like whenever she wants to spend time I'm there with her but it's nit enough to prove anything to her. I feel like nothing I do satisfies her. #2 she breaks up with me like once a week or at the least 3xs a month. She is uber sensitive so I've adjusted and don't tease her much at all. It's like she thinks up reasons for us not to be together, ex our huge age gap, my religion, she doesn't want me to feel obligated to take care of her later in lifd, bc my ex still likes me, she's not sure I really want her. #3 all the things she dislikes me doing, she does. She can tease me, critique my actions until she's ready to stop, bring up past matters/actions, and so on.

Tonight, once again, she broke up with me because I waited until the afternoon to tell her my ex stopped by. We have an honest relationship and let one another know when an ex is in contact. I didnt want to say anything because she always starts saying maybe my ex and I should get back together blah blah. I never say any of that to her when she shares info about her ex.
Long story short I love her but I'm tired of the backd and forth. It's not right using a break up as a solution when u mad. Forget talking bc she shuts down.

I guess I want to know how I can get through to her. I always take her back after she dumps me. I always apologize even if I feel wronged. I love her and never deny her anything. We just think so different. I say blue and she processes pink. If she comes back what should I say?
Her:scorpio sun, mercury n venus with Taurus moon
Me: gem sun, mercury n venus, pisces moon.

I just need some thoughts pleass.

First, she sounds very immature and needs some time alone to work through those issues. I don't think jumping back into a relationship when she finally calms down after a meltdown is the best thing for either of you. Those trust issues are not your job to fix. Especially if she's not actively trying to work through them.

However, because you are a Gem and asked for solutions, I would suggest you start by pointing out her hyprocrisy in a very matter of fact way in the moment when it occurs. A simple "I notice you feel it's okay to joke around and tease me about _____, yet when I do it you get offended". When she brings up the past, point that out as well "I wasn't aware this still bothered you because you acted as though you were fine. Perhaps we can sort this out once and for all". This allows for awareness and perhaps dialogue about how she views your jokes or past actions. They may seem harmless to you, but you may be poking at some wound she hasn't shared. Sometimes that happens. A Scorp reacts like you just smacked them when a person cracks a joke and the person is left thinking "what the f*ck just happened?" not knowing that there was a scar deeply rooted there. Yes, Scorps can be sensitive, but the sensitivity tends to be attached to something deeper. Criticism and jabs alones usually aren't enough to spark a reaction.

If you point out these things and she "runs", let her run. When she calms down bring it up again in a gentle way: "you really seem to freak out when I brought up _____. Do you want to talk about it now?" If she says no, ask why but don't push. Simply say you're there for her when she ready to. I'm not sure if she's similar, but as a Merc in Scorp I need to open up on my terms. Knowing you are willing to listen is a start. It will more than likely happen out of the blue, 3-6 months later while watching an old movie, but it will happen.

Next stop apologizing if you haven't done anything wrong. She will lose respect for you. Now that is tricky because Gems and Scorps see things differently, so what you view as wrong doing may not be the same in her eyes. You can only really know the difference after she has explained how she feels and why. Don't jump to fix it (as Gems tend to do) take some time to take it in and see where she coming from. Explain how you see it so she can see where you're coming from. If the apology is necessary at that point then offer it. If not, don't.

Hope that helps.

Foxy—

Posted by indiajones33

I guess I want to know how I can get through to her. I always take her back after she dumps me. I always apologize even if I feel wronged. I love her and never deny her anything. We just think so different. I say blue and she processes pink. If she comes back what should I say?
Her:scorpio sun, mercury n venus with Taurus moon
Me: gem sun, mercury n venus, pisces moon.

I just need some thoughts pleass.

So you enjoy being her doormat to clean her shoes on? The problem is YOU because you are allowing her to treat you like this and letting her know that her very insecure and immature behavior is acceptable. Time to crack that whip "indi"... move on to a real woman. This woman isn't capable of a relationship.

PhoenixRising you have given me some awesome advice and food for thought. I wrote down your suggestions on how I should comment or respond when pointing out her hypocrisy. I believe I wait too long to address the matters,and when I do, it seems I am attempting to turn the tables or not take ownership for my actions. Her feelings gets bruised pretty easily. I don't believe it is so much what I say but my tone that makes her believe I am serious or speaking forcefully. However, that is just the way I speak.

I also think what you said about letting her run, if she runs was great advice. I usually will chase and push, instead of letting matters simmer down. She hates to be pushed but I dislike conflict and want to resolve an issue right away. When she is upset it messes up the whole day, so if we had awesome plans to spend a nice day together, she no longer wants to do anything. She doesn't even want to talk to me at that moment. You are correct that she needs to open up on her own terms. She ALWAYS say these very words to me. She feels like I interrogate her, but I don't view my actions the same way. Example, she will say " I don't feel you really want to be with me". I will say " why do you feel that way"?, she will way " because your words and actions don't match", I will say " how?, what do you mean"?. Of course I will probe deeper and want to get it all out of her, but she says sometimes she just wants to come and share with me about her feelings, but not so I can interrogate her. Eventually she does end up sharing once I leave it alone.

I apologize because I want to take ownership for any part I may have played in hurting her feelings. She seems to feel I contribute to the way she feels at any given time, so I apologize to try and make things right. Sometimes I am wrong, and have learned to take a moment to reflect and then come back and apologize bc an apology isnt enough. She wants ME to know what it is I am apologizing for and know in her own way that I have reflected and learned something. Lawd, she is so freaking deep!!!

Posted by Fox
It's worse to withhold information.
You know she's insecure and with good reason(her past betrayel?) so imo that was a nono when you waited to tell her, but at the same time... I understand that you don't want to be doubted continuously or scrutinised when really(if what you say is true), you've been loyal and consistent with your affections.
BTW out of curiosity, are you close with your ex?

Hi Fox, thanks for contributing.
Yes I know she is insecure and it is very much with good reason. This is why I attempt to be patient. I don't demand she trust me, but I try and overcome her trust issues by being open and honest. she never asked for it but I gave her the pw to my emails, phone, vm and so on.... just for her comfort. She will never use them though because she is not the kind of woman.

I don't want to constantly be doubted. I have been nothing but faithful and loyal to her. She draws emotions out of me and when she looks at me I can see and feel all her love. She is very loyal and so considerate. She remembers stuff I told her when we were just friends! She does small considerate things for me, and whenever I have a problem she always says " okay, let's think about how WE will deal with this issue". The downside is she sometimes says that she can't feel my love, or when I look at her my face is void of emotion or affection. I am still trying to figure out how to make her FEEL my love. She makes me feel her love but I can't draw off of such deepness and add it to my expressions like she does. She wants to see action, but I feel like I show her. She knows I am kind and giving, but I am like that with everyone she says, what sets her apart? She says she needs more adn I understand it.

No, I am not close with my ex. We have been seperated over 2 years and are just now going through divorce proceedings. We have probably seen each other 3 times over the past 2 years but he has showed up twice in the past month since the papers were served. I don't want him and I feel bc he knows I have moved on he now feels some sort of desperation towards me and wants me to want him. Nothing more and nothing less. Either way, there is absolutely nothing there at all.

Posted by Fox

Posted by PhoenixRising
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Next stop apologizing if you haven't done anything wrong.
Hope that helps.

I agree with this. Although still being consistent with your affections and support, you need to tell her off and call her up on what she has said to you. You should be treated how you treat her.

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LOL, have you ever tried telling a Scorpio woman off?? She has this abliity to make my mind go blank and feel like I need a dictionary! This coming from a Gem and I consider myself to be a great communicator.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by indiajones33

I guess I want to know how I can get through to her. I always take her back after she dumps me. I always apologize even if I feel wronged. I love her and never deny her anything. We just think so different. I say blue and she processes pink. If she comes back what should I say?
Her:scorpio sun, mercury n venus with Taurus moon
Me: gem sun, mercury n venus, pisces moon.

I just need some thoughts pleass.

So you enjoy being her doormat to clean her shoes on? The problem is YOU because you are allowing her to treat you like this and letting her know that her very insecure and immature behavior is acceptable. Time to crack that whip "indi"... move on to a real woman. This woman isn't capable of a relationship.

click to expand

Thanks for the comment LetItB.

I don't enjoy being her doormat to clean her shoes on but I love her, enjoy being with her and want our relationship to work so yes, I tend to make allowances and let her get away with unproductive behavior. I don't think she is immature, she is a very mature women, but I feel she needs a lot of reassurance in intimate relationships.

I want to crap the whip, but I don't want to move on to another women. How can I be a bit more assertive towards her in a way that she respects me, but not feel like I am not listening or taking her feelings into consideration?

Well after breaking up with me last night, I check my phone this morning and have three phone calls and some text messages from her apologizing and stating she loves me and should have handled thing differently. I really don't think she does this on purpose. I feel like she is scared of getting hurt so she pulls back or over thinks situations that arise. I also believe our age difference causes her some insecurity.

I accepted her apology and stated I love her back, but that no matter what I say she is going to believe what she wants to and I can't change or control her thoughts. I told her I have to learn to be okay with this.

Guys, I love her. I don't want to leave her. I am just tired of her breaking up with me when she feels I displease or disappoint her in some way. I am very big on loyalty, trust and perseverance. When she does this it makes me feel like I don't matter to her as much as she does to me. However I know for a fact this isn't true. I just don't want to become resentful and bitter. I am pretty hurt about all of this. I've expressed to her I dont like when she breaks up with me bc she is angry but it has happened again. What can I say to get through to her? Her merc is in scorpio and mine in Gemini. Maybe I am not communicating my intentions in a way that she clearly understands.

Posted by Impulsv
Tell her instead of saying it's over in braking up to replace it with I need time n space.
It is wrong to automatically go to break up when u don't meant it . It's unfair to the other person to be walking on Eggshells. So only use it when u mean it.
So if she replace the words with the other needing space to think rather than it's over.

Impulsv that is some good advice. I can admit at one time she would ask for space, but I'd still push her bc I wanted an immediate resolution. She then stressd to me that she needs space/time to sort through what she feels and so she doesn't act out of her anger. This is when I started backing off. However,depending on the matter, or maybe based on her feelings of the day, she goes to automatic break up mode!

I don't know how to respond to her but I don't want to avoid her either. She wants us to be back together ( verbal confirmation), but I am just so tired of this ferris wheel.

Posted by Impulsv
U need to have an open discussion that it's not acceptable to use brake up words. N that it's taking an emotional toll on u. Put it in her perspective that's how we get it sometimes. Like "how would u feel if I broke up over.... N did it over n over".
Have a mature discussion from ur perspective how it affects u. Calmly n maturely. Tell her u understand her fears n want to be there but there is a limit but u are willing to be there for her but she must treat you with respect n consideration of ur feelings.

I tried the above and it did not come acros good at all. She could hear the obvious frustration in my voice and reacted in a defensive manner. She was apologizing and we were discussing how we could move forward. I mentioned the constant break up and she goes on about how every action has a reaction. She also spoke a lot about bein fearful and needing me to help her overcome her fears. That she doesnt believe she is not who/what I really want.

How do you show a Scorpio you want them? I thought spending time and doing considerate stuff was enough but it seems not to be. She needs more.

Posted by Impulsv
Ah self worth is something she could only give herself. U could do it all but if she does believe it herself!!

We like consistency even if it's rutine like to reassure her. Say what u mean do what u say.
What does she think u want that she feels she isn't?

lol, she always makes that same statement about saying what I mean and meaning what I say! I believe my consistency is what got me closer to her. She was constantly doubting my love but I was consistent, no matter how much she initially accused me of lust. Her sense of self worth is pretty high because she takes none of my ish. One of the reasons I was so drawn to her is bc of the way she loves and respects herself.

Our makeup session turned into another argument. She kept adding me into her apology and I didn't like that. I'd apologized and owned up to what she felt was inconsiderate on my part n didn't need to keep being told what I did wrong. Our communication sucks. We both want the same end result but getting there is tumultuous. I'm drained and tired.

I'm not sure what she thinks it is i want but that's a great question to ask. Thanks

Posted by indiajones33

So you enjoy being her doormat to clean her shoes on? The problem is YOU because you are allowing her to treat you like this and letting her know that her very insecure and immature behavior is acceptable. Time to crack that whip "indi"... move on to a real woman. This woman isn't capable of a relationship.

Thanks for the comment LetItB.

I don't enjoy being her doormat to clean her shoes on but I love her, enjoy being with her and want our relationship to work so yes, I tend to make allowances and let her get away with unproductive behavior. I don't think she is immature, she is a very mature women, but I feel she needs a lot of reassurance in intimate relationships.

I want to crap the whip, but I don't want to move on to another women. How can I be a bit more assertive towards her in a way that she respects me, but not feel like I am not listening or taking her feelings into consideration?



I figured out who you were in disguise...hence my repeated "doormat" response. Carry on dumpster boy.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by indiajones33

So you enjoy being her doormat to clean her shoes on? The problem is YOU because you are allowing her to treat you like this and letting her know that her very insecure and immature behavior is acceptable. Time to crack that whip "indi"... move on to a real woman. This woman isn't capable of a relationship.

Thanks for the comment LetItB.

I don't enjoy being her doormat to clean her shoes on but I love her, enjoy being with her and want our relationship to work so yes, I tend to make allowances and let her get away with unproductive behavior. I don't think she is immature, she is a very mature women, but I feel she needs a lot of reassurance in intimate relationships.

I want to crap the whip, but I don't want to move on to another women. How can I be a bit more assertive towards her in a way that she respects me, but not feel like I am not listening or taking her feelings into consideration?

I figured out who you were in disguise...hence my repeated "doormat" response. Carry on dumpster boy.




I am a female, which is stated on my profile that you more than likely viewed.

Now you are being weird, in addition to unnecessarily rude and I would prefer if you don't make any more comments on my post. Thanks

Posted by Koniucha
Sounds like you two need professional help. This is not a Scorpio thing.

Thank you for your very original comment. Can you explain what a Scorpio thing is?

She's just immature you can't make her secure she has to fix herself.

My Gemini husband once waited a week to tell me that an old girlfriend called him out of the blue to ask for money. I was so infuriated he attempted to leave in an effort to avoid the argument. I kicked the door closed on his way out and his hand was still in it. Blood spatter, blood curling screams, it was all bad. Fortunately he didn't lose any fingers and all was forgiven but withholding info can be a deal breaker for us.

Be careful of letting her know she can have her way with you. Im married to a Gem... he kind of lives for me. Not attractive. Major turn off. Next time she leaves you let her. Tell her you deserve better. Be ready to move on either way. This relationship could cause you heartache in the end. Her own fear of betrayal could turn into a self fufilling prophecy. Destroying you in the end. Good luck.

Posted by SCORPIOGYRL
My Gemini husband once waited a week to tell me that an old girlfriend called him out of the blue to ask for money. I was so infuriated he attempted to leave in an effort to avoid the argument. I kicked the door closed on his way out and his hand was still in it. Blood spatter, blood curling screams, it was all bad. Fortunately he didn't lose any fingers and all was forgiven but withholding info can be a deal breaker for us.

Be careful of letting her know she can have her way with you. Im married to a Gem... he kind of lives for me. Not attractive. Major turn off. Next time she leaves you let her. Tell her you deserve better. Be ready to move on either way. This relationship could cause you heartache in the end. Her own fear of betrayal could turn into a self fufilling prophecy. Destroying you in the end. Good luck.

Boy are you a vicious thing but I can believe it would happen you losing your temper and slamming the door shut. I've seen Scorpio woman's temper as my friend lashes out at me. Funny thing is when she hides something from me and I confront her she gets scared. She knows better to hide something from me I always find out. It is true thou you stand up to a scorpio woman they will respect you.

Posted by Octoberbaby91
She's just immature you can't make her secure she has to fix herself.

She does seem immature when it comes to certain aspects of our relationship, but in others she is so wise and giving. She said she needs me to help her trust me.

Posted by indiajones33

Posted by Octoberbaby91
She's just immature you can't make her secure she has to fix herself.

She does seem immature when it comes to certain aspects of our relationship, but in others she is so wise and giving. She said she needs me to help her trust me.

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It was a horrible accident an example of what can happen when tempers flare nonetheless, you need to stand up for yourself. I am most attracted and turned on to my husband when he takes charge and puts his foot down. If you continue at this rate the neither one of you will be happy. Scorp/Gem is not the greatest pairing. You will always be at her mercy and if that's what you want (and it sounds like you do) by all means keep on truckin'. I can't say that you won't be happy but you may become so wrapped up in her that your happiness is tied to your existence with her and that's no way to live or love.

Posted by SCORPIOGYRL
My Gemini husband once waited a week to tell me that an old girlfriend called him out of the blue to ask for money. I was so infuriated he attempted to leave in an effort to avoid the argument. I kicked the door closed on his way out and his hand was still in it. Blood spatter, blood curling screams, it was all bad. Fortunately he didn't lose any fingers and all was forgiven but withholding info can be a deal breaker for us.

Be careful of letting her know she can have her way with you. Im married to a Gem... he kind of lives for me. Not attractive. Major turn off. Next time she leaves you let her. Tell her you deserve better. Be ready to move on either way. This relationship could cause you heartache in the end. Her own fear of betrayal could turn into a self fufilling prophecy. Destroying you in the end. Good luck.

Thanks for your input Scorpiogyrl.

The lesson has been learned. I know not to keep ANYTHING from her ever again!

I am confused by your comment of not letting her know she can have her way with me. I can admit I live for my Scorpio and when I don't live for her, or show her attention due to being busy, she starts to come up with all sorts of crazy scenarios in her head!

But I understand your point because as a Gem I don't like when someone totally "lives for me". I think you are right that next time she leaves to let her. She breaks up with me way too often and it just seems no matter how much I express my displeasure she still does it. I feel like this is turning into a self fulfilling prophecy. I sort of feel like she is too fearful to be in a relationship and would much rather be on her own where she can feel safe. On the other hand, we have a strong bond and it keeps bringing her back.

Thanks for wishing me luck. I do think in the end this situation will destroy me if it continues in it's current state. I am hoping to turn things around.

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by indiajones33

Posted by Koniucha
Sounds like you two need professional help. This is not a Scorpio thing.

Thank you for your very original comment. Can you explain what a Scorpio thing is?

I just meant this has nothing to do with being a Scorpio. Plus I would not describe her as 'acting like a Scorpio' anyways. At least for me, I know what I want and am not wishy washy in a relationship.

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Thanks for clarifying and your input. I see what you are saying. Based on everything I have learned about scorps it seems there is always a trust issue, or need to know every little detail of your partners life. But, idk if it is the norm for scorps to be so wishy washy like she is.

Posted by SCORPIOGYRL

Posted by indiajones33

Posted by Octoberbaby91
She's just immature you can't make her secure she has to fix herself.

She does seem immature when it comes to certain aspects of our relationship, but in others she is so wise and giving. She said she needs me to help her trust me.

It was a horrible accident an example of what can happen when tempers flare nonetheless, you need to stand up for yourself. I am most attracted and turned on to my husband when he takes charge and puts his foot down. If you continue at this rate the neither one of you will be happy. Scorp/Gem is not the greatest pairing. You will always be at her mercy and if that's what you want (and it sounds like you do) by all means keep on truckin'. I can't say that you won't be happy but you may become so wrapped up in her that your happiness is tied to your existence with her and that's no way to live or love.

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She does seem to be really turned on when I put my foot down. Especially when it comes to intimacy!

You bring up some valid points that gives me pause for the cause. I don't want to be at her mercy at all but she is super bossy and I am more laid back. I don't really care who is "in charge" as long as we have open communication and things are going well. However, they aren't going to well, hence the reason I am here.

I think the problem is I am way more flexible while she is super stubborn. I like to let things go and move on but I see this is really hurting me and our relationship in the long term. I feel like I am spending all my time attempting to make her happy, at the expense of my own happiness. Yes, I love her and want things to work but I can't honestly say that I am happy. I am just dealing with each situation that arises between us.

She's immature and you can help but you can't enable her to be her emotional punching bag. She needs attention or she acts like a baby yeah man of you like I love it I guess.


Hmmm just live your life man. That is all.

Scorpio girl here.. I used to be like this and then I cleaned up my act. I evolved a lot more after being hurt so many times and when I let go of my past things became a lot easier for me. We are jealous individuals thats just natural, when we know our territory is being exposed or available to someone who has already had their chance (an ex) it gets us boiling inside.

All in all.... she needs time to grow on her own. Or if you think she means enough to you to stay for her - you need to learn to except her for how shes been hurt and how she is, and just find a way within yourself to not let her flaws effect you as deep inside. When she goes off the deep end about something, make sure you voice that you understand her. Our hearts are at ease when a man can just let us be hurt/scared. Apologies and emotional strength hit our soft spots and we will feel comfortable and in love when we find someone that lets us be us.

In our head, we think a woman is an ex for a reason and that reason should be remembered at the sight of her and nothing else. You may tell her an ex stopped by and we just want to know what really happened. We want to hear that you were civil but sure to mention the new catch and that there is no need for further contact/visits.