Internet dating w/ Scorpio - need advice!

Wondering if I can get some help deciphering a puzzling situation with a Scorpio female I met off Okcupid, and how to best deal with it....

Here's the situation: We have a lot in common, and she asked me out for coffee. I wasn't sure if this was a "new friends" thing or not, but we got along really well, and have an uncanny amount of shared pet interests. At some point she joked about how by bringing up an ex, she was being inappropriate for a "first date", which I took as a hint.

We talked a really long time, and I suggested we hang out again at the end of the night, but I kind of did it in a casual friend way. She told me she had a nice time, and hugged me. The only awkward thing is in drastic heels she was taller then me, and while I could care less, she did seem taken aback when we first met...unless I'm just reading into it and being insecure. On paper she's only an inch taller then me, and I do frequently date taller girls. Still, off the internet, things become issues that normally wouldn't, and I'm just trying to find some reasoning for where things start to get weird...

What's the problem? Getting a second date, and moving things along.

I waited a couple days and texted her a nice note, and suggesting we invite each other out soon. She replied warmly, told me she had fun, and then to the going out again part she just said "Sounds good. Talk to you soon!". This was on a Saturday. On Tuesday, I tried a new strategy, texted her again with some actual invites, with a couple choices, to which she just replied "Hi! All of those sound fun. Let's talk soon".

I'm at a stand still and don't want to come off impatient...but Is she playing hard to get, or giving me the kiss off while being nice, or what? Do I lay low and wait for her to finally ask me out, or do I chase her and run the risk of seeming clingy as I try to pin her down?

I'm a Virgo-Libra cusp for the record.

Thanks for the insight in advance.

Thanks, I probably knew that deep down, but I needed the confirmation.

What's the point though, Scorpio folks? We hit it off, and I gave her an opening to keep things platonic.

Posted by wordsworth


...Is she playing hard to get, or giving me the kiss off while being nice, or what? Do I lay low and wait for her to finally ask me out, or do I chase her and run the risk of seeming clingy as I try to pin her down?

Speaking for myself, I prefer the guy to take charge of the whole situation...meaning you have made it known that you want to see her again and she agrees that she would like to also, but in my eyes that's all that has been established. The ball is now back in your court. For me, after making it known I like your suggestions of things to do, I would then want you to be specific and make the date "official" by letting me know a date and time for us to have said date.

I can only speak for how I am in these type of situations, and yes I'm a Scorpio. I've been told by a close male friend that my way of dating is old fashion...women ask men out too, but I have a strong personality, so it's important that the man interested in me can and will step up to the plate. And the first way he can show me that is being able to confidently ask me out and make firm plans.

So, don't give up, yet.

hehe where do you live wordsworth? 😛



(pet loving scorpio on okcupid here)

Posted by ImaBlvr
And the first way he can show me that is being able to confidently ask me out and make firm plans.

So, don't give up, yet.

Posted by wordsworth
Wondering if I can get some help deciphering a puzzling situation with a Scorpio female I met off Okcupid, and how to best deal with it....

On Tuesday, I tried a new strategy, texted her again with some actual invites, with a couple choices, to which she just replied "Hi! All of those sound fun. Let's talk soon".

click to expand

It sounds like he DID ask her for a date and even offered her choices to pick which one she'd like to do. What's wrong with that? It sounds like she is being wishy-washy, not him being indirect.

Wordsworth, there's nothing wrong with your approach. But I DO think at this point, instead of you being frustrated, you should just pick one of the choices, since she said "all of those sound fun"; ask her for a date. You are letting her know in no uncertain terms that you are interested in seeing her again. Give her no more than 24 hours to give you a YES or NO answer to your invitation.

Then take it from there...

Thanks again for the feedback everyone.

Pathfinder, That's certainly how I would normally handle it, but I do know Scorpios are tricky. I probably tripped myself up from being myself, by thinking too much about signs in the first place.

Posted by wordsworth
Thanks again for the feedback everyone.

Pathfinder, That's certainly how I would normally handle it, but I do know Scorpios are tricky. I probably tripped myself up from being myself, by thinking too much about signs in the first place.

Yeah. Stop being so scared of her. She's human and not the entire world. You give it your best shot so you have no regrets.

🙂

Block her at once!

( it's the only way to ensure she'll think about you night and day )

Unless you want to get rid of her.

In that case, send her flowers. She'll block you at once!

Unless she is touched by such old-fashioned gesture,
especially if they are snow lilies and she looks it online.

Hmmm ... just commit suicide now. It's easier that way. haha

Now - wait - just forget about her. If she comes back into
your life - great - if she doesn't - great.

Posted by pathfinder


It sounds like he DID ask her for a date and even offered her choices to pick which one she'd like to do.

What's wrong with that?

It sounds like she is being wishy-washy, not him being indirect.

TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF, SISTER ( respectfully )
If you are a SCORPIO female - YOU KNOW she wants a man who can plot out A DIRECTION for her
so that she doesn't "need to" wear the pants.

Certainly, it's a social and fair way to do things and SEEMS TO be a better way for him
to please her and not have her OPT OUT due the "single offer" ...

... but she wants a man to set the direction. If it works for her, she'll follow.

At the moment, it SEEMS TO HER as if "he" is the one being wishy-washy.
( We see it differently, from outside the box. )

Posted by scorpiopics

Posted by pathfinder


It sounds like he DID ask her for a date and even offered her choices to pick which one she'd like to do.

What's wrong with that?

It sounds like she is being wishy-washy, not him being indirect.

TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF, SISTER ( respectfully )
If you are a SCORPIO female - YOU KNOW she wants a man who can plot out A DIRECTION for her
so that she doesn't "need to" wear the pants.

Certainly, it's a social and fair way to do things and SEEMS TO be a better way for him
to please her and not have her OPT OUT due the "single offer" ...

... but she wants a man to set the direction. If it works for her, she'll follow.

At the moment, it SEEMS TO HER as if "he" is the one being wishy-washy.
( We see it differently, from outside the box. )

click to expand

Making a decision is classified as wearing the pants? Taking a look at myself, no, I'm not a scorpio so when my husband (who is a scorp) asks me what I want to do for dinner and asks me to pick the place, I pick the place. If he gives me options, I pick one. Period. I just do it. Shit, I'm hungry.

scorps like aggressiveness? Then why are they attracted to and most compatible with the passive-aggressive signs of pisces, cancer, capricorn? Oh, yeah, and throw Virgo in there as well.

Posted by exoskeleton
passive-aggressive isn't aggressive. .

exactly. which is why I asked why scorps are supposed to be compatible with those types if scorps like Aggressiveness. Doesn't make sense to me.

Posted by exoskeleton
it's being manipulative while avoiding directness. kinda cowardly

click to expand

yeah, and each one named, as well as scorpios, can be direct but are good manipulators as well.

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by pathfinder
scorps like aggressiveness? Then why are they attracted to and most compatible with the passive-aggressive signs of pisces, cancer, capricorn? Oh, yeah, and throw Virgo in there as well.

Because they're aggressive like you stated ?

click to expand

No, I'm asking that

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by scorpiopics

Posted by pathfinder


It sounds like he DID ask her for a date and even offered her choices to pick which one she'd like to do.

What's wrong with that?

It sounds like she is being wishy-washy, not him being indirect.

TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF, SISTER ( respectfully )
If you are a SCORPIO female - YOU KNOW she wants a man who can plot out A DIRECTION for her
so that she doesn't "need to" wear the pants.

Certainly, it's a social and fair way to do things and SEEMS TO be a better way for him
to please her and not have her OPT OUT due the "single offer" ...

... but she wants a man to set the direction. If it works for her, she'll follow.

At the moment, it SEEMS TO HER as if "he" is the one being wishy-washy.
( We see it differently, from outside the box. )

click to expand

Making a decision is classified as wearing the pants?
Um... "yes".


Taking a look at myself, no, I'm not a scorpio so ...
I did say "if" you are a SCORPIO ...

but since you're not ... ( respectfully )... you're not qualified

to interpret her actions.


when my husband (who is a scorp) asks me what I want to do for dinner
and asks me to pick the place, I pick the place.
If he gives me options, I pick one. Period. I just do it. Shit, I'm hungry.

Yes, but he has mastered the art of pleasing you with
low resistance offers, which make total sense to you ( and me )
which still keeps him master. Remember though, he is your husband;
and OP's female in question is a SCORPIO whom he has never dated.
If they had been married for a bit - or even their third date,
that could work.

But believe me - she wants him to wear the pants.
If she likes his direction, she will follow.

Posted by pathfinder
scorps like aggressiveness? Then why are they attracted to and most compatible with the passive-aggressive signs of pisces, cancer, capricorn? Oh, yeah, and throw Virgo in there as well.

Opposites attract ?
First two "water signs" and "birds of a feather" ?

Don't know where you got your Capricorn theory.
Frequent attraction, yes, sure. General compatibility? Funny.

If I was a divorce lawyer, I'd wish all Scorpios would marry Capricorns
... withing the first 6 months of meeting them.

Sticking to the subject at hand (and not a generalization of ALL things a capricorn pursues)--

When it comes to getting to know someone they like (matters of the heart), I know plenty of passive-aggressive capricorns.

As others have said, you're getting blown off. She met you IRL, doesn't feel the chemistry, but doesn't want to be mean.

Posted by Femininitywild
I'm a Scorpio woman myself, and let me tell you it is very near impossible to read us. The reasons she may have been inappropriate for a first date is because she wants to figure out more about you, she is a detective and wants to get inside your head before she takes any more dates with you. The way to attract a Scorpio woman is to come off completely honest, be a gentleman, but at the same time exude passion or lust.

you are a scorpio girl haha. women dont have the suffix -teen in their age haha

scorpio is so readable like a book haha. the key point being your sensitivity - just use cause and effect and tons of information will spurt out like pricking holes in a bucket of water

re: initial post

stay away from internet dating - whats the point when there's no physical material realistic aspect to it?