Is a Scorpio love just too intense?

After my breakup with my Cancer girl, I have been doing a lot of thinking and realised that when i 'Love' it's 100% , it's full throttle but i end up forgetting who I am and what I want/need, i put myself behind her ALL the time and ended up loosing my identity. I would always choose to do an activity with her, or go and see her/stay over hers at every opportunity. It wasn't really an option for her to come to me, as there are 5+ people living at mine and my room isn't a good size or comfortable for 2. This did contribute to the breakup, there were other things too, but this was mainly my doing.
How could i work on this to prevent breakup after breakup? An obvious answer would be...'Don't go round hers' and 'do things you want, get some hobbies' I thought about this, i really did, but she won everytime! If i was in the middle of doing something i would always prefer to see her, so i'd finish it and go! This sounds like 'doormat' syndrome i'm sure and perhaps i was to some extent but the feeling of going to see her was just too much.
I wanted to hear about her day, tell her about mine, and just 'be' with her, watch some tv then go to bed. That was a much better proposition than me staying at home, watching some tv/playing video games/keeping myself occupied and texting/ringing her.

Can anyone relate?

Hmm...Good question Intrigued! 🙂
I'd like to think perhaps both? but swaying more toward the latter. Reasons for saying this are that yes i did find a harmony there, but also i tried too hard, i knew i had a special person and felt i needed to keep her, so doubled my efforts.

Well said Stinger. 🙂
My ex wasn't at all ME ME ME, infact she was very giving in some areas. It didn't work for the main reason that we seemed to stifle each other.

The fact that i am pretty much an open canvas when there's love involved doesn't help. This may sound sexist, so sorry if it does. I read something similar on a website, but i agree with some of it...I think a man needs to want to do his own thing from time to time, have his own life and when a woman gets involved, it's still his life but she is a welcome part in it. He still must maintain his own hobbies, interests and goals and they are his main focus, if the woman he is in a relationship with also shares the same goals then great, but if she doesn't then he shouldn't sacrifice them for her.
That sounds very idealistic, but i am the complete opposite! and i'm not sure if this is 'typical' Scorpio but i want to just fall completely head over heels in love and loose myself in it! Perhaps a bit wreckless and naive, but i want to find the soulmate more than anything.
This desire i feel does make me try too hard when the honeymoon period settles. I do initially become very 'loved up' but this is after a lot of analysis of the potential girlfriend. Once they pass 'the test' then i fall and become...lost!
What a contradiction!

Oh thankyou Stinger! What a lovely thing to say. You sound very knowledgable! 🙂 (I had to look up the spelling of knowledgeable, how ironic!)

Surely a good partner will insipre, give praise/confidence when it's needed and in general be fully supportive of their partners hobbies/interests. My ex was supportive of me in some areas, but i put so many of these interests to the back of my mind (self sacrificing!) that she never really had the chance to see me doing my own thing 'flourishing' if you like, a lesser word evades me at the moment! lol
Guidelines are something we didn't establish, we never spoke about 'us' or our relationship. I have came to understand that the 'where do i stand' and 'where are we going' conversations are needed. We both wanted the same thing, to love and be loved which is sad now we're seperated but you could look at it as being immature too?

I feel like i am still very young, unexperienced and overwhelmed by love and great people. I am easily led and when a beautiful woman comes along and sweeps me off my feet it's the best feeling ever! Beautiful is a word i rarely use and i see it as the pinnacle of all compliments, to be beautiful you have to be 'beautiful' on the outside and inside. If a physically beautiful woman isn't beautiful on the inside...she isn't beautiful. If you your still with me...well done! lol

I do think my ex is beautiful. I see a great woman there and I felt like i could have a very happy relationship with her, but i just couldn't dot the i's and cross the t's to put everything together to make it work. I lacked the experience, i was also unwiling to fully open up and I am counting on experience to make me more rounded and 'brave' to cut myself off sometimes to have 'alone' time and also to let my guard down. I didn't say what was on my mind and i felt like i really needed to do that, maybe this was the fear of loosing her? They say that if anyone can relate/understand a Scorpio it's a Cancer.
In the utterly backward world we live in sometimes, i feel like i have had to go through this break up to learn the mistakes i made, but once there mistakes it is often too late.
I may sound like i want to get back with her, but that would be foolish now and damaging to our overall relationship.
I'd love to think we could maybe try again in the future, but she will be in my life some way or another. 🙂

Posted by MrScorp

I'd love to think we could maybe try again in the future, but she will be in my life some way or another. 🙂

I was waiting for this statement.

Oh! lol glad I didn't disappoint. I guess it is true that Scorp's hold people in high regard that were in their hearts before.
Considering this was my first serious relationship I have nothing to judge it on, but I certainly feel it.
Could this cause a little unrest with a future girlfriend? I obviously wont talk about her, text or ring etc...

ilyb - Me of course! 🙂 It wasn't like that, i feel like i have mislead some of you about 'my house or her house' I have a single bed, and weeknights she had work in the morning, so she'd have to get ready for it which took her AGES! lol She's not a barbie doll though, it wasn't like that at all. The house thing wasn't an option and i don't know why i brought it up, just sometimes i think that she was 'safer' in her house, as i would be in mine, so conversation/expressing emotion was harder for me perhaps?

I just read this, i knew the majority of it anyway, but i do find it possibly quite detrimental to my quest for love!...
"Your magnetic personality draws others to you. But you can also be secretive yourself, for you learn early on that when you express everything, others may be scared by the power of your feelings. You desperately want to have someone to merge with your feelings, but can become cold and withdrawn when hurt in love."

I don't want to be withdrawn, if anything though my last relationship taught me to come out a little more so i need to keep the positivity from that strong.

Me and my ex really did part on good terms though, there is some anger yes which is normal but at the end of the day it really was the best split it could have been. Yes there is such a thing!

Posted by MrScorp

Could this cause a little unrest with a future girlfriend?

Only if you're not over her.

Posted by MrScorp
Me and my ex really did part on good terms though, there is some anger yes which is normal but at the end of the day it really was the best split it could have been. Yes there is such a thing!

you parted on "good terms" because...

You scorps have all that 'hidden intensity'. All the hidden mysterious love gets lame. i always find out there is nothing behind the curtain any differnt than what everyone else has. the mystery came to a dull regular conclusion. put your balls on the table and show it early and often or move to the side. I am very faithful and find it sooo hard to be faithful to scorps. I always want to run for the nearest exit. and then many scorps stalk after the women leaves you. what is up with that? just call and ask if you want to know what's going in your ex's life.