sunnygirl
@sunnygirl
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 168 · Topics: 10
Leaving the same scorpio for the second time.
i am:
gemini sun
cancer moon,
cancer venus,
cappie rising
he is:
scorpio sun,
leo moon,
scorpio venus,
aqua rising
the rising worries me, the rest seem compatible?
gemini sun
cancer moon,
cancer venus,
cappie rising
he is:
scorpio sun,
leo moon,
scorpio venus,
aqua rising
the rising worries me, the rest seem compatible?
Posted by QuietSt0rmPosted by sunnygirl
I explained how he was making me feel 48 hours ago, and told him I needed him to (a) reply to my email and (b) call me at least once every 48 hours.
This part made me squirm.
Scorpios can't stand to be given orders or to be controlled. Don't get me wrong, I understand completely where you are coming from as a woman. But maybe if you had used different words like said "I need consistency" instead of saying I need you to call me at least once every 48 hours LOL
I have to admit, I tend to push back on those that try to control me to that degree, throwing out stipulations, requirements and stuff like that.
Maybe he does see you as a soulmate, but the more you try to control this man, you will be digging your own grave. For me personally, that becomes annoying and will drive me away. But I also have mars in sag so my freedom is VERY important to me. Other scorps may be different... I dunno.click to expand
Okay so maybe I tweaked the conversation for succinctness - I didn't give him a 48 hour deadline, that was more for me. I just told him can you please reply to the email I sent to you 5 days ago - and maybe call me once in a while so I don't wonder why you haven't replied to my email in 5 days! He said he'd do so by the weekend - which was in 2 days time.
I personally HATE being that girl too. And he knows it. This is always my last resort, and I hate it when I am driven to it. How else can I get through when all "nice" warning signs go unheeded by him? It seems to me sometimes that he deals with fires only when they land on his doorstep, and forgets about them the moment he's put them out again. I'd love to understand how to communicate better, because it is driving me up the wall. If I'm so annoyed with my own behaviour, pretty sure I can't blame him for being annoyed too.
Posted by avlemscorpio
You say you love yourself more than you love him but you're being a masochist for reentering a relationship with him (or whatever it is) when you know that his job is obviously a major priority. Basically you're playing second fiddle to his job, aren't you? Honestly, you expect/want him to change. He's 15 years older AND he's a scorpio. Regardless of either, he's already set in his ways. Fixed signs don't change unless they want to.
Furthermore, you're coming off clingy and demanding by setting these certain requirements for him to yield to your needs. No one likes to feel as if they're being forced to do something. No one likes to be given ultimatums either, especially us scorpios.
How does he have a hold on you? You allow yourself to be lured into his orbit...
Ah but see here's the magic part. This time, apparently, it wasn't work - he was in the hospital helping a mate out. All the more reason for him to have time to call me, I would think?
He has tried to change this time around - of his own accord (remember that I left him instead of asking him to change - not my style to ask him to change, and, like you said, he's a fixed sign so I was pretty sure there was no point hoping). And, to an extent, he has succeeded in changing, little by little. I'm trying not to be too harsh because if he falls back to his old ways 2 times out of 10, really, I should let it go. But its hard because I have deja vu every time those 2 times occur, and I question all the re-instating of faith it has taken for me to walk back in...
The only good thing that has come out of this is that he did speak to me after I texted him saying I was done. He didn't give me any valid reasons why he hadn't responded so far, except that he couldn't understand why he needed to keep in touch so often and that he was clearly thinking about me. So my question is this - are scorpios not like geminis wherein they need to keep in touch and hear their loved ones' voice? Seems to be I'm always the one wanting to keep in touch, even though I know we miss each other equally...
Posted by QuietSt0rmPosted by sunnygirl
I explained how he was making me feel 48 hours ago, and told him I needed him to (a) reply to my email and (b) call me at least once every 48 hours.
Scorpios can't stand to be given orders or to be controlled.click to expand
So she is suppose to just let him control her? How is that fair?
Posted by QuietSt0rm
Not at all, but she didn't mention him trying to control her so that's why I didn't address it.
He doesn't try to control me. But his lack of response is passive control. I can't have a relationship by myself now can I? 🙂
Posted by QuietSt0rmPosted by sunnygirl
The only good thing that has come out of this is that he did speak to me after I texted him saying I was done. He didn't give me any valid reasons why he hadn't responded so far, except that he couldn't understand why he needed to keep in touch so often and that he was clearly thinking about me. So my question is this - are scorpios not like geminis wherein they need to keep in touch and hear their loved ones' voice?
Are you two together? Have you asked him if he really considers you guys to be serious?
With him being so distant it would make me question it. Scorpios usually borderline smother the people we are with. I've never heard of a scorp being so passive in a relationship unless it was a casual one.click to expand
Yes we are serious. I know he is committed to me. He won't go to another woman, of that I'm sure. That's not the problem. He's not FULLY with me, and possibly is not capable of being FULLY available to anyone? His age and general maturity is the reason he is not a smotherer. He's been there, done that, suffered and lost girls. He is very much of the live and let live variety, to the extent that he would never fight me if I decided that I was happier without him or with someone else. No matter how much it broke his heart. This I know. This I've seen.
When I walked back in, I told him we weren't together. He was ready to be. I was like I said still scared, still trying to have my eyes wide open - and by the looks of the last one week, I was right in doing so. He and I have spoken since then. He made a deliberate point of letting me know that we weren't together only because I didn't want to be, that he was busy and could not be expected to call/email every 48 hours, and that just because he didn't communicate doesn't mean he isn't thinking about me.
I just don't understand how someone so passionate (he is!) can be so dispassionate with love?
Posted by everevolvingepithet
"I just don't understand how someone so passionate (he is!) can be so dispassionate with love?"
Worried about messing it up or scaring you away when it turns intense so acting dispassionate kinda softens the blow for both parties if things go tits up ?
Oh c'mon! what I can't get burnt?! And leave scorpios, by that paradigm no one should ever wear their heart on their sleeve. Isnt that what its all about? It is for me anyway. Love hard. Always. Ain't no other way. I would've imagined scorpios had the same deal?
He can't scare me. Impossible.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
True lol I'm not disagreeing with you I just thought I'd throw that out as a possibility.
It all depends on if it's a lovely burning too right ?🙂
So ironic i just got an email from him explaining he is afraid we cant spend extended hours with each other so he wants to test the waters by us going away on a 4 day trip in october. after all the stuff we have gone through he still thinks we cant spend 4 days together! this is hilarious. we have spent about 3 weekends together with no problems, plus plenty of night stays, apparently that has told him nothing!
sometimes, scorpios are so unfounded in their fears its not funny...and here i was thinking it was me...nuts i tell you...nuts. complete paradox. and they say geminis cant pick a side!
Posted by everevolvingepithet
If he didn't care as much I doubt he would tread so carefully lol
I don't think he's thinking you can't spend 4 days together by yourselves, I think you're as worried about getting mauled by the scorpio sensual as much as he is haha
yes..true. well i hope it lasts. i really am over having such breakthroughs only to find things return to same old a month later...
and hey, only one way to find out about the mauling 😉
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I can't believe I made myself fall into this again. I'm back in January bawling my eyes out. Why is it that scorpios take advantage of the people who love them the most? He claims I am his soulmate. Doesn't feel like it. I'm a strong girl, very independent, never let anyone sass me. I don't understand how this man has such a hold on me.