...more than anything

Not too long ago my scorpio ex, then "scorpypoo" bf, said to me "i love you more than anything"

now he's showing me a slightly scary side that i feel could easily get worse. he went off on me today and said "i hate you more than anything"

a bunch of our friends are going on another ski trip at his besties place. half of them were trying to talk me into going and, well, they were successful. being that he and i were on normal speaking terms (the occassional nice n short convo every other day or so) i asked him if he wanted to go. he had been on the fence. at first his response was that he wasnt going. then after i told him i was trying to arrange for myself to go since so many talked me into it and that we could coordinate travel so that it saved us both some cash, suddenly he was going. somehow all of this turned into a huge argument that he didnt want to be around me and "why was i inviting myself to his best friends place?" i can understand his issue. but he knows how all of our friends are. we're one big family practically. he's getting butthurt over something trivial and it seems like he's using it as leverage to push me out of his life.

it wasnt an in-the-heat-of-the-moment thing he just blurted out either. he said a lot of scathing things. used the word "hate" a few times. i never in a million years thought he'd be this way.

i really really dont know what to do here. back to plan A and just stay the *F* away—? I dont want to dodge my friends! I dont want to put them in the middle or make them feel like they have to choose! they know we've split. they know this causes tension when in group settings and they dont want me to skip out on anything because of this. they are making a serious effort to make sure i dont exclude myself because of him.

this makes me sick to my stomach. and really... it fuckin hurts. a goddamn lot. neither he nor i were perfect. but i dont deserve this.

Posted by ellessque
well, she's gonna have to go on the trip. she's also going to have to expect there be a little attitude or fallout from it...but if she's not consistent with her actions, it will only make it worse.

it should be "business as usual" and her behaviour should be as nothing is wrong. it will be the only way he gets used to it.

this is what i'm leaning towards.

we just got off the phone and he's really concerned about everyone's opinion of him. he finally bared all of his underlying issues and concerns. ffs, i wish he would come out with it in the first goddamn place rather than the rollercoaster ride while he beats around the bush to hell and back getting to the real heart of the matter.

i'm concerned about everyone's opinion period. i dont want friends to feel tension... they'll just not invite either of us out OR they'll choose to invite one or the other. and what a punch to the gut any of that would be. i hate drama and more than i hate drama, i hate unwittingly dragging people into drama.

my mo is always cavalier like everything is ok, because why shouldn't it be? i mean no harm and im not trying to make anyone uncomfortable. if anything, i've been trying to be accommodating. my biggest concern is that he'll want something from me and im not a mind reader, he's obviously having a hard time saying what he wants... i'm going to piss him off unintentionally either because of something i've done or some lingering possessiveness.

good gawd...

Posted by ellessque
this is the aftermath of a scorp/cap breakup.

friendship is close to impossible...especially for the scorp.

^^ truth ^^ ...everything written about scorp and cap falling out too.

im discovering first hand that the very intuitive side of both of us that makes it such a strong and seductive relationship is unfortunately also what makes it a massive nuke war when things go south.

we know each others tricks, we know each others minds and we're both still trying to claim the upper hand. it just becomes a battle of who wears out who first.

in the end, it's all dumb... he and i wear each other out nearly simultaneously and regret everything we did to get to that point.

i'm just gonna go start drinking now...



cheers

Posted by Chance11
it's too close to the break up imo..he hasn't yet shown that he's capable of acting like you would hope. the way he's acted leading up to this is just a warning shot. you won't be able to meet his unreasonable (and likely irrational) expectations and the drama you speak of will seem like a self fulfilling prophecy. your last sentence is exactly what will happen.. makes me wonder what your reasoning is in pursuing this at this moment? seems as if you're hinting at knowing what's likely to happen yet still contemplating it.

i see your point, but no i wouldn't ever do anything purposeful at all. whenever i have this foresight and really want to avoid something, or make something happen i suppose, i try to plan accordingly.

im tired. very very tired. i want very badly for he and i to get along because it's draining when we don't. i want us to have a good time with our friends. i want them to see two mature adults that were together once and are still caring and good friends now.

that intuition there is what will definitely keep me on my toes and mindful. but i'm also not going to sacrifice my weekend with friends and shuffle around scared of my own shadow.

and i am definitely going. our friends really want me to go. practically begged actually. and 1. im hooked on the sport right now 2. love my friends 3. it WILL be a good time. they were stoked when i said i had made all arrangements to go. for me to suddenly not go would be practically shouting out that there's break up drama and they need to mind their p's and q's around us.

the only thing i didnt see coming was this whole gawddamn shit storm prior to the actual trip.

i'm a tad prideful and stubborn. Truth be told, I'm no walk in the park either. Those might be an understatements. if ever there was a sign that had me by my balls and brought me to my knees... it's scorpio.

... i still have some hope in me too. i wasnt madly in love with the guy for no reason. caps have the aloof facade thing, but it's a known trait that we have a hard time letting go of feelings.

but i'd said in my previous thread that that hope is there for somewhere in the future after we've taken a few steps back and regained control of ourselves.

his chart:

asc - scorp
sun - scorp
moon- gemini
mercury - scorp
venus - scorp
mars - cap
jupiter - scorp
saturn - libra
... sag, sag, libra

mine:

asc - scorp
sun - cap
moon - pisces
merc - cap
venus - cap
mars - aqua
jupter - scorp
saturn - scorp
... sag, sag, libra

under the school of thought that cap and scorp are cut from similar if not the same cloth... we are damn alike and we got lost in that. mirroring each other. power tripping. calling each other out. possessiveness. jealousy. and yet... there's also the unquestionable loyalty, devotion, do-anything-for-one-another, love of the kind that people love us together and lovers alone wear sunshine, and we have so much fun together. his opposing "more than anything" statements say it all. and i know he's struggling. im not blind. that also hurts a lot in and of itself.

im not doing a love/hate thing anymore though. the back and forth is dizzying and taxing. it's all love or nuthin. he feels the same. so it's time to get bearings straight. our separate paths may not lead back to one another. we both hope that no doubt, but the point is to be happy with ourselves and happier with each other. as long as we get there, we could be together or separate.

I just really hope we both choose the higher road here. rocky as it may be.

holy shit creepy pants that is much scorpio as my most recent ex had and he was out of control nuts and horribly mean person. he had literally no air or fire in his chart tho. Least he's got that gem moon

Posted by Chance11
(you always talk about your balls when you've been drinking)
yeah, they can be a handful..that might be an understatement too

oh, i didn't know that you were already committed..ok, new plan..kick ass!

as long as you have that pisces moon in a headlock, i'll reluctantly sign your permission slip 🙂

lolololol!!!

moonlock in a pisces head... got it.

and those slopes are goin' down.

Posted by Chance11
i don't disagree with anything you posted...i was more concerned with the timing and the setting

cap/scorp love is addictive to both parties..sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you kick the habit

yes, we're coming to the same conclusion that it's prob too soon, but we've already committed here, so we're both sucking it up and making the best of it. setting... eh, im thinking it's a very good thing that so many people will be there to keep us both busy. also it's an all day everyday sport and a somewhat solo sport. by the time we're all together, we'll all be tired and blabbing about what tree we almost ran into, where we got stuck, who tore it up, who ate shit, who saw it and laughed... that kinda thing. there'll be many diversions indeed!

I rarely ever see cap fem/scorp male make it... I see them come together a lot, or scorpio men interested or pursue cap women or women with strong cap placements, but something in it seems to clash or cause a lot of conflict and I also see a lot of breaking up in the end. My friend and her guy were this match, and yeah what the other poster said they really don't let go, after the break up but that applies whether it was a cap,gem,pisces, etc. I just don't think he gets what he needs completely in this match in the emotional aspect, I don't see it being fulfilled fully the way it needs to be. Someone on here once said it benefits the Cap woman more than anything else. Good luck.

thank you... may your good luck help.

LMFAO!

no that was pretty astute and made perfect sense to me. with him im seeing two sides... one, which i assume is a less evolved side, wants to sever all ties. this is what i saw the other day and fortunately i got the big hint that he was just really struggling. the other side that i see more often is the one where he wants us to still be good friends, calls, asks my advice or for my help on things and asks me often enough if i think we'll get back together. gem moon much?

i love the guy. he's the love of my life. i dont even know what to do with myself sometimes, i love him so much. he knows we need to not be together at the moment though. we have to grow separately right now, or we'll die in a relationship together. meantime... i couldn't have said it better myself elle, you really know caps ...he's gettin these gd cookies! or my house will be like Real Genius, bursting at the windows n doors with baked goods. lol

thanks for that... it's really validating.

one last question though... should i try staying away?

Posted by exoskeleton
i agree it may be too soon, but i'd go too.

try to talk to him about how you two can remain civil and mature. if an argument starts up - swallow your pride, drop it or talk in private, and don't let it ruin yours and everyone's trip.

and you and him both know he doesn't hate you, but he's trying to get a hold of himself and the breakup (just not in the best way). patience.

most importantly, have fun. 🙂

yea... he tried explaining himself and apologizing last night. i told him i understood. and i do. i'd been in his shoes at one point, losing my grip with him, and he had to calm me down. we had a pretty good convo and we'll be okay over the weekend. baby steps

thanks exo! we're ready to have a good time 🙂

update:

*heartbreak*

he's choosing anger. it was all definitely too soon. i thought we'd be ok, but old issues came up.

staying away now.

Posted by ellessque
lol...sorry for so many words. damn caps!!!!!!!!!!!! 😄

I'll never understand the whole concept of loving someone and not wanting to be with them because the "time" isn't right or whatever Saturn infused statement you guys live by. Don't know if it's the fire in my chart, the air....or the old fashioned scorpio. I do appreciate it, though....it is important.....*for you* and I respect that. Any one of you who oppresses that part of you is just setting themselves up for failure, even if it isn't so well received by someone else.

I think you should go ahead with your plans and I also think you should continue being you. If you need to share the cookies, share the cookies. This is his problem to get through, not yours.

Everyone passes by your life for a reason and I'm sure there is a much needed lesson in there for him somewhere....he'll just take the long path, we (scorpios) aren't as efficient as you guys 😛

I have come to realize no one can handle this. lol. That's why I have learned to cut ties and never look back. I have found even when the other person is the cause of the break up, they still cannot handle it.

To us, it's over, but that doesn't mean I can't still talk to you, or bring you cookies. It's over in my mind, I can separate my feelings.

Creepy- I am sorry you are going through this.

i love him and it's not working out as is. that's where i'm coming from when i say i love him and am trying to end things right now. we tried everything and everything didnt work, so now i'm resorting to nothing... knowing it could mean he moves on completely, or i move on completely. but i have that small amount of hope that time and distance is enough to check ourselves out and let the truth of who we are individually and in a relationship come to the surface. perhaps it will mean somewhere down the road that we're back together. perhaps not.

i wont hold my breathe, but subconsciously or secretly i might. at least for a little while.

and i see that his emotions are running wild. one minute he was wishing i'd never existed in his life... so i left him alone and the next time i was around him he just grabbed me, held me and kissed me.

i hear what you're saying about a clean break Melly... seeing him struggle is killing me, to the point that I feel I've been selfish and cruel. It's a struggle for me too, but I'm not fighting against this and I feel like he is without admitting that he is.


elle... that looks divine... *drools* yep it's an ice cream, wine n movie night...

My friend just txted me.. "Life is short. Be with the one you love."

Am i doing the wrong thing? I tried within the relationship... Did i not try hard enough? I thought i gave it my all, but now im not so sure and now im not sure there's any going back...

I need help here guys 😢

Part of me literally wants to beg and plead to try harder... But I feel like we've lost sight of who we are as individuals. How could we regain that still together? And I absolutely love him for who he is. I dont want him to change. His flaws are precious to me, but his treatment of me has gotten out of hand. That i do want to change.

Halp... Please

Posted by ellessque
what's the treatment against you, creepy?

you need to step back and see if it is something he's doing intentionally to hurt you or if it's something your moon is running with because you are fighting this.

seriously. check your moon. sometimes you can make mountains out of molehills.

without knowing what he did, that's my best guess.

snapping over nothing. ex. we were out with friends just this last weekend and they all wanted to do shots. he wanted to wait til we got back to our friends house. so everyone is passing around their shot and a little sip, less than half, was handed to me and he got mad at me for even considering drinking it. mind you this is the recent weekend when we werent together.

harboring old issues and bringing them all up to the surface again as if we'd never gotten over them back when. this makes getting over any issue almost impossible.

he calls me a compulsive liar sometimes. why? not because i am... but because he hates it when i say im going to do something and then later change my mind. ex. i was going to the gym and said i was going to do the stair master. well i got there and changed my mind. he asked me about it later and got upset when i told him i didnt do it. nevermind the fact that i was at the gym for an hr and half breaking a sweat on other machines. the situation with the shots with our friends is another situation that warrants calling me a compulsive liar. I feel that the term is being used way out of context when it comes to me. I consider myself a very well meaning and honest person. I almost feel like HE is the one making mountains out of molehills.

i hate saying all of this, because i love him and it paints a bad picture. there are MANY great things about him. He is a dynamic, caring, generous, giving, fun-loving, and loving guy. One of THE most loyal friends you could EVER have. But these small things (and i've always said it was the small things that I'm having a hard time getting over) ... these small things are casting a big shadow over everything else. Is that my pisces moon? Am I losing perspective? Most of the time I feel like I'm not putting up enough of a fuss! Honestly. Id said before in the other thread that even his best friend was taking the brunt of his more callous behaviors... like myself. So I'm not sure if it's something he saves for those he feels

Posted by Ellybean
We can all give you advice but we also don't know every detail between you two. I think Elle is on point with focus on your moon. I am definitely feeling the Piscean type energy from how you talk about this.

Water moon to water moon, I'd advise taking a solid clean real for at least two weeks, at least. Absolutely no contact at all. And find one or two of your more grounded friends, a friend who does not have more loyalty to you or him and who also won't hold back. I do this with my more earthy/airy friends. The ones who know my sincerity and sensitivity well but never failed me in their honest and steadfast opinion. Then I take their words to heart and seriously evaluate myself. Normally after doing so I see the wisdom and the lesson being shown to me in whatever the trial is, even if it was a tough pill I didn't want to swallow.

Just be really careful with these breaks and break ups an getting back together. You guys have had a break already before this break up. Going back and forth will be intensely painful for him and you too. And if he has a Scorpio Venus I can tell you right now he won't be able to handle it and he will become increasingly more uncontrolled with each on/off and the dramatics and angry lash outs will be worse.

Notice, just my personal experience. It's a sucky position to be in. You gotta take good care of yourself girlie. You have all my thoughts and good wishes in this time. *big hugs and ice cream and wine* and you don't have to get on to work right away, enjoy a veg out night that intermingles the joys and pains of mourning and freedom.

you and your cancer moon, i love. yea, at this point neither of us can be jerked around. no matter what... we have to take time apart. i guess im looking for a couple things. 1. validation that im doing the right thing. and 2. someone to straight up tell me if i am doing something wrong here or making bad choices. Honestly, more the latter. I've kept saying this to myself and kind of making it my mantra lately... time will tell all things. how capricornian of me, i know.

and golly you scorps really know how to activate a pisces moon.

oh shoot... my message was completely cut off... 😢



So I'm not sure if it's something he saves for those he feels will always be there regardless of how he's treating them. OR if it really was something about our relationship and me.

But this relationship was the first time that I've really tried to compromise and make it work long term, so I kinda feel like a newbcake at knowing the give and take boundaries. While we were together, I was confused over "what am I willing to accept and what do I need to work with to change"... about him or myself. Looking back, I'm still unsure if I got it right.

Posted by Ellybean

Posted by CreepyPants
Is that my pisces moon? Am I losing perspective? Most of the time I feel like I'm not putting up enough of a fuss! Honestly. Id said before in the other thread that even his best friend was taking the brunt of his more callous behaviors... like myself. So I'm not sure if it's something he saves for those he feels

We certainly do reserve our less than favorable sides for those we trust will love us no matter what. Which I know is probably a painful thing for you to hear at this moment. It's obvious how much you love him.

You posted a lot about Persephone/Hades style relationship in a thread once, I read it but didn't have time back then to put in a proper response.

Would you say that's the basis of the problems? You feel captured sometimes? Or is it truly only things that are small, genuinely small annoyances that pop up occasionally? Or are they red flags of something bigger, something that could undermine the entire relationship and cause you two to be two lonely people being hurt and lonely together by the final end of the relationship? As much as his small things are annoying you are these triggered by the small things that bother him? Are you two getting lost in an endless cycle that escalates into full on pride battles over silly things? Is this a deep problem or just an ego problem? How much of the ego belongs to who? Is it almost two identities warring instead of two identities growing? Which one really appeals to your soul ultimately, war, growth, ego?

^Sort of things you should ask yourself.

I hope you don't feel I'm being rough or judgy-wudgy with you. I think you're a truly beautiful soul though, one of the few people I trust I could speak openly with. Let me know if I'm stepping where I shouldn't.

click to expand

stepping over boundaries? gawd no... you're cutting through to the heart of the matter like Zorro. All of you are asking and bring up very valid points and perspectives that I need to hear. Another problem I've had is not being able to talk to people about this too much. Here... my friends are his friends. And I wouldnt dare bring up this stuff to them. If I do, I dance very carefully around grimey details while keeping to the issues.

I feel like the basis of our issues is insecurity. Just raw insecurity. If it's m

grrrr....


I feel like the basis of our issues is insecurity. Just raw insecurity. If it's me being insecure and I begin to question him about something or if he feels in the slightest that I'm trying to "fix" him... he bucks and rears, dramatically sometimes. So I've tried to smoothen out the way I broach those kinds of things, but it's a slippery slope. If it's him being insecure then he may pick at small behaviors of mine and assume grandiose issues because of them. Couple this with the bringing up of old issues... I guess I sometimes do feel cornered. Not only is it sometimes impossible to disagree and assert your point with him, but the thought can be frightening. Like calling me a compulsive liar... which has bled into him accusing me of "not able to be trusted" Last fall, he got so out of hand with that... I finally leveled with him and told him to take a long hard look and consideration of who I am and ask himself if he honestly thinks I'm untrustworthy... He came to his senses and said no. And now I cant really remember the last time he said that to me.

I mean, to me the bickering seems over small things... things that are trivial and dont matter in the grand scheme. Especially when they are baseless. They do matter if they are habitual and repeat behaviors. But in and of themselves, the subject matter is all trivial. really, he could be a sex addict cheater and I could have drug problems. But no that's not us. After we've had our fill of power tripping over these nothing issues... we land right back where we started, no better, just a little more worn out than previously, and unfortunately no more wiser. It's small and yet still a red flag because it IS unfortunately habitual. I think continuing on this path will eventually lead to us actually hating each other and becoming vindictive. Easily.

and thank you Elly, Elle and Intrigued ... your posts here are like gold. xoxo

I think he may have deep seated trust and insecurity issues. He had compared me a few times to his first love back when he was in high school and apparently his last real love before me and I guess she did lie to him about her drug use and was hooked on some heavy things behind his back. Also she apparently was still in love with a previous boyfriend.

I'm not sure if this is some baggage he may still carry. After all, it was over 10 yrs ago, but I can't see the depth of his feelings or past hurts so well all the time. Maybe I can't see their depth at all! But he did warn me about this when we first started dating

and this... "As much as his small things are annoying you are these triggered by the small things that bother him? Are you two getting lost in an endless cycle that escalates into full on pride battles over silly things?" ...might be spot on.

Hey, I know my opinion probably don't mean much I'm not a scorpio but I have been after one.

I think if the time ain't right for them it's just not right.

If you compromised just as you said. You tried. What more can you do?

I've tried to show this girl that I care but as you have said about this particular guy, she I think just has serious insecurities. And like you I think the best thing for me to do now is just assume it will never work. If down the road things change.. she changes... then great I'd be thrilled I think she is a marvelous person. But I know one thing, I'm not gonna sit back and allow someone to treat me a certain way that is disrespectful or undeserving. I'm not gonna sit and open my cold ass heart for you just to be treated with emotional blow ups... no matter how endeared I am to do so on your behalf. I have respect for myself first and foremost. Their emotions are their responsibility. Yes, we should care about how they feel but they should care about our feelings just the same. Lashing out at you is obviously not considering your feelings, and it's quite immature to do something like that on a typical basis.

You know I always feel like... IF I could just reach her so she would know I'm not out to use her... I'm not trying to manipulate anything... THEN maybe THEN it would be different but truth is. She's gotta change and he's gotta change. That is something neither me, nor you, nor anyone can do for them. Sad thing is they probably never will. In all the time I've been alive my mother (a Scorpio) has admitted she was wrong ONLY ONCE to me. Trust me I was rather stunned and remember it to this day. That's my Mom lol..... I highly doubt I'll ever hear remorseful words from the girl I've been after. Ehh maybe I'm just being negative today who knows I'll go be negative somewhere else.

Posted by ellessque
TIME OUT!!!!

I ate one of those the other day lol mmm

Quit second guessing yourself. We both know your decision to end the relationship was not made in haste. Not one of the things that led you to your decision has changed. Whether you need to cut all ties permanently or not, you definitely need to do so temporarily. How long? To be determined. Inform him of this and then keep your word. The drama will cease, and some clarity will appear in the weeks ahead.

In the mean time, indulge in the banana split Elle so thoughtfully provided. She even thought to give you a separate spoon for each banana. Well done, Elle.

Creepy, I stayed out of this conversation because I saw the logic in it and the outcome, but with the amount of responses (other than bling) of support of your emotions and the decisviness you had about going (and not wanting to back out from your friends..which I knew was a tad of justification), it was WAY TOO SOON!! I didn't want to put a pin in your bubble. I should have been my blunt direct self and said...DON'T DO IT CREEPY, it's going to backfire.

At the same time, some of us need that confirmation. I hope you saw it, felt it and it enables you to heal and move on. Be comforted in knowing, this was just a bumpy ride through the path we call life that will add strength to your character. Someone is out there just waiting to bump into you. 😉

"I'd also recommend you going back and re-reading this thread and your responses like it was just some random thread on here. A thread that had nothing to do with you or him or your friends or whatever. You might notice some new things."


^^^Great advice!

Posted by StoicGoat
Quit second guessing yourself. We both know your decision to end the relationship was not made in haste. Not one of the things that led you to your decision has changed. Whether you need to cut all ties permanently or not, you definitely need to do so temporarily. How long? To be determined. Inform him of this and then keep your word. The drama will cease, and some clarity will appear in the weeks ahead.

In the mean time, indulge in the banana split Elle so thoughtfully provided. She even thought to give you a separate spoon for each banana. Well done, Elle.

I tried to post yesterday. I see it didnt go thru but yes, yes, and yes! Stop 2nd guessing yourself Creepy! This is the constant end result of him compromising, of you compromising, of the two of you working on x, y, and z. Resentment will only build in him if you dont stand firm in whatever you choose. This 2nd guessing, backnforth does do exactly what he claims and makes you "appear" a bit untrustworthy in your decision in a way. There is atleast a future in a friendship if you trust yourself and stick to your decision. You've tried, he has tried, but it just doesnt work. Its grazes but doesnt hit the mark and that is okay Creepy. I wish you luck!

thanks all... yes definitely at this point, whether i'm doing right or wrong, we've gotta step away. it's tough because so many people like us together and want to see us happy. and in an indirect way, that's what im trying to accomplish. we've stepped into a bit of immaturity here and i'm trying to wake us up. as i've said, maybe we dont get back together maybe we do. i'd like to hope we do. but that's months and months away. years? i know myself and with enough time, i'll likely move on. i could be wrong. but i digress ...deeply lost in an ocean of hope.

I'm starting to feel in general that I might be too hopeful of a person. borderline naive sometimes. possibly stupid... i think all of you warned me that this last weekend was too soon. and here i am... "no it'll be great!" cap/sag cusp plowing ahead with my own ideas.

elly, yea the tense confusion is definitely from he and i resorting and assuming old ways and a bit of hidden hope, i'm sure, that things continue. he called me a compulsive liar this past weekend but calling me untrustworthy... it's been a while. inana you bring up a great point. a very great point. he and i both certainly opened the door for slingin words we dont mean or ideas not backed with action to either best the other or to appease ourselves. regardless, hearing anything like that from a loved one is extremely disheartening. extremely. heartbreaking actually.

this blows!

i dont wanna bump into someone else 😢

we're supposed to talk today at the strong advice of close friends. i'm hoping we part on very good terms to put us both at ease as we go our separate ways. i've been trying to do this in the last week, but he's had a bad tendency to bring up old issues. perhaps to keep the conversation going and not closing our communication, to kind of keep me hanging? i finally texted him the other day that i think it would be fair for us to both end on a good note and give us closure so we can make a peaceful break. he seeeems to be on board with this. there's no way i could handle bad air. no flippin way. i dont do animosity with someone i feel strongly for. i want him to be happy. i want to be happy myself. whew!

thanks for the luck all... Inana, Stoic, LetItBe, Intriqued, Elle, Elly. Amazeballs. All of this is exactly what I need to be thinking about before he and i meet. gawd this is going to be emotional...

yea... just reread. lol. i certainly am lost in my own issues. that was some good grounding.

i need to act according to logic. ouch.

well we had the talk... it was over the phone. i was a lil disappointed about that, but clearly it was better than any alternative. it ended up ok. good actually. i was a little surprised at how he directed the convo at first... in neither a good nor bad way. the things he was most concerned about regarding our break up were so far removed from anything i was concerned about. but he said what he needed to say and we reconciled his issues. i said what i needed to say and made him promise to think about the two of us in a way that helps him learn about our mistakes. i told him i'd be doing the same and that i have already.

our friend wanted me to tell him that there was no chance we'd get together again. he thought it would make it easier on my scorp. i couldn't bring myself to do it... it's not the truth for me at least.

scorp didnt want to cut each other off from one another. but i told him i think we should for a few weeks.

we both started talking about how the relationship changed us and what we compromised and gave up for it... that's about when i started getting emotional.
i changed the subject and we chopped it up with what was going on in our lives. he's headed out of town this weekend with our friends. i'm skipping out on that one obviously.

i wished him a safe and fun trip and we said goodbye.

and now...























































































































i am eating cake with a scoop of wedding cake flavored ice cream.

and i will be having seconds.

^^^ yea i know. i'd be lying if i said i wasnt the same way. hence my disappointment in not having an in person talk. but it was my suggestion and i was sticking to my guns.

Posted by Ellybean
A helpful thing in these situations is to remember when it comes to fights in relationships, that winning the fight is a hard fought victory for a reward of absolutely nothing. When we start to value being right over being loved or in love we lose sight of ourselves, theone we love and why we loved to begin with.

I'd also recommend you going back and re-reading this thread and your responses like it was just some random thread on here. A thread that had nothing to do with you or him or your friends or whatever. You might notice some new things.

WELL!!..If this wasn't the most insightful piece of advice....

My word... WELL SAID Ellybean,
Well said.

Chin up Creepy Pants... ((HUGS))

Posted by TAURUSbelle

Posted by Ellybean
A helpful thing in these situations is to remember when it comes to fights in relationships, that winning the fight is a hard fought victory for a reward of absolutely nothing. When we start to value being right over being loved or in love we lose sight of ourselves, theone we love and why we loved to begin with.

WELL!!..If this wasn't the most insightful piece of advice....

My word... WELL SAID Ellybean,
Well said.

Chin up Creepy Pants... ((HUGS))

click to expand

i've always said regarding arguments, "when you win, you actually lose" you have it put very eloquently though elly.

thanks TB and QS... I did check out those lyrics earlier this week and I meant to say that it makes that perspective so much clearer. thanks for sharing love 🙂

The lil rapscallion drunk dialed me the other day. *ehem* at 9:30am LMAO! he never calls that early, so i was worried and wasnt about to ignore the phone call.

me: "hey babe, whats up?"
him: "heeeey. not much. what are you up to?"
me: "just at work, a lil OR action? what's goin' on?"
him: "nothin, i just called to say hi"
me: "it's kinda early babe. is there something on your mind?"
him: "I was out with Sag and his friend from Maryland. We were out late. We drank so much *laughs*"
me: "Ahaaaa... so you're possibly still drunk right now?"
him: "yeeeaah, *laughs* i think so"
me: "*laughs* so this is technically a drunk dial?"
him: "yup. mmmhmmm."
me: "*laughs* you're crazy. you're safe at home right?"
him: "yea, i'm home. sag's friend asked about you. he said, 'hey where's your pretty gf?!'
i told him, 'well we broke up.' he said 'OH! WHY?! I thought you two were gonna get married!'
'yea, she's amazing'
'i KNOW she's amazing! I MET HER!'
me: "aaaaawwwwweee..."
him: "why does *everyone* have to say that about you?!"
me: "i dunno, hon. that was so sweet of him though"



now, it's inevitable, but we're not out to hurt each other. pain is not the point. learning is. yes i'm of saturn, and my saturn just so happens to be in the purposeful sign of scorpio. at any rate, i'm positive i will suffer more in all of this. he knows soooo many more people around here than i do. he'll have his distractions. and yes i'm still hopeful as ever.
however!...



i'm a woman. sometimes i can't help myself. henceforth... MUAHAHAHAHAHA 😈 !!!

😛

I think if they friends like you that makes you in