Need advice Cancer Women -- Scorpio Male

HAHA! I know this has been rehashed a million times on this board, but here we go again. I?ll try to keep it as short as possible. I just need to know if what I'm about to do is either going to get me closer to my Scorp or is it going to end up making him run away fast. Ok..Scorp and I have been talking/seeing each other for about 2 months. At first he said he just wanted to be 'friends' since he broke up with ex in April and has decided to 'straighten out his life?s priorities'. There is history with the 2 of us going back 4 years.. blah blah, I won't bore you with the details. However, I will tell you that when he called me and we went out the first time (in July) the sexual tension between us was INTENSE! However, I told him that if he just wanted to be friends, then we wouldn't be able to be intimate. I'm sure he saw right thru me (as I saw right thru him with the whole "I just want to be friends" thing) and the next time we saw each other (the following night) things got so intense between us that we ended up making out and fooling around for like 3 hours in his car like we were teenagers! Every time when we went out after (we've been out about 6 times) it always starts out the same....Everything will be just like 2 friends that are really attracted to each other hanging out having a really good time laughing, talking, joking, lots of eye contact, playful touching & plenty of sexual innuendos then when he is ready to drop me off, we start making out and fooling around and can't keep our hands off each other!! I have not had sex with him YET. I have had oral though (cancers LOVE oral LOL!)

So...here's my dilemma. At first, he was calling me like 3 times a week (at least) and he would call me the day after our so called date (even though he still refuses to call it that - which is starting to piss me off). Both of us have trust issues and I am trying really hard to let him in, but he ISN?T letting me in AT ALL and now it seems like the phone conversations have almost ended. I spoke to him for a total of 4 mins this past week. I sent him a text message on Friday and he called me to ask me what it meant and then said he would call me back AND I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. I know all about the whole Scorpio control/power thing. Is that what he is pulling? I know he's playing games with me. I decided to at first, just be as patient as possible, but now I am really mad and I'm about to tell him off and let him know how upset I am and how I don't want to play these stupid games with him and when he decides he wants to be more than friends and wants to stop pretending then to give me a call. If not, his loss. I keep going over it in my mind and sometimes I feel like I am doing the right thing and other times I feel like this would be the biggest mistake of my life. I just want him to know that I know what's going on and I don't like it and he is starting to hurt my feelings. If I distance myself from him, will he come around or will he stay away from me? I?m not ready to give up on this just yet. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

so what's your question?

"I decided to at first, just be as patient as possible, but now I am really mad and I'm about to tell him off and let him know how upset I am and how I don't want to play these stupid games with him and when he decides he wants to be more than friends and wants to stop pretending then to give me a call. If not, his loss."

If you tell him off, it will be YOUR LOSS, not his. It is all about power with Scorpios. I'm a Taurus dating a Scorpio and we're polar opposites, yet we both have a need and desire to be in control. But if you want something/someone bad enough, you have to relinquish that power to someone or at least compromise. Sadly, Scorpios won't relinquish or compromise, so it's up to you to do it.

How exactly do you know he's playing games with you? He could be dealing with some personal/work related issues that he hasn't told you about. Remember, Scorpios are also secretive and guarded. Instead of getting mad and impatient with him, call him or email and tell him that you've noticed that he's not his usual self and ask him if he wants to talk about it.

Also, you say that you want to give him the ultimatum to give you a call once he decides he wants to be more than friends: I hate to say this, but you confused the guy. You said that you told him that if he was only to be friends with you that there would be no intimacy. Oral sex is intimacy. That sends the wrong and confusing message to him. The message you may have sent him (after he said he wants to be friends while he sorts things out) is that you changed your mind about fooling around with him and perhaps he thinks you're OK with fooling around with him. Before you and he did the Oral deed, you should have made an attempt to find out where you stood with him.

The question I was asking was whether or not to let him know that I feel upset by his actions. I mean, not calling, not answering my text messages, disappearing for a week etc...Thank you for being extremely honest with me houstonpeach! I guess I already knew the answer and just needed to hear someone else tell me the truth. It's a hard pill to swallow.

So, I guess I need to just let it go and not be upset. I made my bed, right? Really hard for this emotional cancer cos it's making me clam up even more than I already was. I can't communicate with him...I can't communicate period. My defenses are up big time now. Sometimes I hate being a cancer!

In all honesty, you shouldn't feel upset by his actions. The two of you haven't made a vow of exclusivity. If you approach him because you're upset and explain why, I think you would be taking several steps back.

He's already told you that he needs to straighten things out...don't add to whatever he's straightening out. Instead be his friend - and that doesn't mean oral sex, OK?

😉

I truly appreciate all your advice. I was totally over-reacting and acting emotional. I just needed to be grounded. I'm so glad I have this place as a sounding board before I open my mouth and insert my foot!