scorpio dumps me then text me...

So I've posted on here about the issues me and my Scorpio have been dealing with. Long story short whenever I did something that displeased her she broke up with me. Then she would come back and want to work on our relationship. Well we sort of talked things through and promised not to do that anymore.

So 2 nights ago we got into it because she feels she can't trust me. That I am secretive and closed. She cried and was saying she won't be played for a fool. So yesterday I called a million times, a hundred text messages begging her to reconsider and telling her that being secretive does not mean I'm a liar or cheat. She never answered my calls and text me No, it's over, we will never be together again, that she loves me but never like it was before and to move on, don't contact her.

I cried like a baby and begged. She refused. So I made up my mind that I'd start working on healing and stay distracted. I was so tempted to reach out today but I remained strong and pushed through.

well out of the blue she text me.

her: hi. How are you?
me: hi. I'm fine how r u?
her: glad u r fine

she hasn't said anything else. Like is this a game to her. Does she want me pining after her or was she concerned?

So I've posted on here about the issues me and my Scorpio have been dealing with. Long story short whenever I did something that displeased her she broke up with me. Then she would come back and want to work on our relationship. Well we sort of talked things through and promised not to do that anymore.

So 2 nights ago we got into it because she feels she can't trust me. That I am secretive and closed. She cried and was saying she won't be played for a fool. So yesterday I called a million times, a hundred text messages begging her to reconsider and telling her that being secretive does not mean I'm a liar or cheat. She never answered my calls and text me No, it's over, we will never be together again, that she loves me but never like it was before and to move on, don't contact her.

I cried like a baby and begged. She refused. So I made up my mind that I'd start working on healing and stay distracted. I was so tempted to reach out today but I remained strong and pushed through.

well out of the blue she text me.

her: hi. How are you?
me: hi. I'm fine how r u?
her: glad u r fine

she hasn't said anything else. Like is this a game to her. Does she want me pining after her or was she concerned?

she is definitely insecure and possibly holding on to a past heartbreak.

Leave it be, Time is you only ally.

Thanks for the comments.

She married her ex in her early 20's, he was her first and only lover before me. They had 4 children together and then he cheated on her. When she found out she was hurt but she says what hurt the most is the way he treated her afterwards. She said she is over him and will never be with him again because she can't trust him.

I do believe she loves me but she needs alot of reassurance and it is draining. I can be there every time she calls but she will focus on that one time im not there.

It's so hard but you guys are right, I have to let go. I just hope we can be together in thr future. What is the likelihood of her working through her issues and us having a healthy relationship? Anyone dated an insecure scorp or has anyone been through a divorce and came out healthy?

Posted by Impulsv
Let her go
She is so insecure it drives her nuts so shed rather end it than deal with her fears.
She is going have to do tons of self work.

this. Damn every other comment thereafter.

Posted by tiziani
You're blaming him for her controlling you?

No, I'm not blaming him. The info I provided was to give a bit of background and because what Octoberbaby19 said seems to have some merit. It seems she isn't over the hurt she experienced In her previous marriage.

Posted by indiajones33
Thanks for the comments.

She married her ex in her early 20's, he was her first and only lover before me. They had 4 children together and then he cheated on her. When she found out she was hurt but she says what hurt the most is the way he treated her afterwards. She said she is over him and will never be with him again because she can't trust him.

I do believe she loves me but she needs alot of reassurance and it is draining. I can be there every time she calls but she will focus on that one time im not there.

It's so hard but you guys are right, I have to let go. I just hope we can be together in thr future. What is the likelihood of her working through her issues and us having a healthy relationship? Anyone dated an insecure scorp or has anyone been through a divorce and came out healthy?

you can't be with her she's too unstable give up now or later are your only options.

she has to die and be reborn from ashes, she has to save herself.


let her go what is meant for you will come back to you without any force on your part.

Posted by Impulsv
Suggest she go to counseling that kinda betrayal is deep.

I agree it's deep. When I even suggest she may still need to process feelings of hurt and betrayal she gets defensive and claims she is over her ex and don't want him. I have seen them interact and I believe it but a part of me still feels like she doesn't want him with anyone else.

Posted by Impulsv
I have been through a divorce he didn't cheat but worse at my lowest( health) I was tossed a way as a defective human .
When a man cheats u question ur value as a woman
In my case I questioned my value as a human. This is deep subconscious n in fact perhaps my block is trust on another.
Now right after I jumped into not realizing I wasn't ready. The fears n intensity were extreme. I've been single for five years n I've worked hard with counseling n self reflection to come to realize that at the core I lost trust for another. Could it be done yes we all can improve. But it's not fair for another to deal with one that may never trust u again.

I am sorry to hear what you went through and I appreciate you taking time to give me such a revealing, honest answer. Yes, I believe she is not ready. In a way I think all the attention I give her, how much I tell her I love her and how beautiful she is... it makes her feel really good about herself as a woman. I believe I make her feel desirable as a woman.

Should I just ignore her messages from now on or tell her that she asked me not to contact her and that our relationship is over, so give me time to heal? I don't want to be rude, even though I feel like she didn't spare my feelings one bit and hurt me with her words and lack of communication.

^^ Those words right there, Beautiful @Arielle83. The best advise that could be given in this guys situation!

Posted by indiajones33
So I've posted on here about the issues me and my Scorpio have been dealing with. Long story short whenever I did something that displeased her she broke up with me. Then she would come back and want to work on our relationship. Well we sort of talked things through and promised not to do that anymore.

So 2 nights ago we got into it because she feels she can't trust me. That I am secretive and closed. She cried and was saying she won't be played for a fool. So yesterday I called a million times, a hundred text messages begging her to reconsider and telling her that being secretive does not mean I'm a liar or cheat. She never answered my calls and text me No, it's over, we will never be together again, that she loves me but never like it was before and to move on, don't contact her.

I cried like a baby and begged. She refused. So I made up my mind that I'd start working on healing and stay distracted. I was so tempted to reach out today but I remained strong and pushed through.

well out of the blue she text me.

her: hi. How are you?
me: hi. I'm fine how r u?
her: glad u r fine

she hasn't said anything else. Like is this a game to her. Does she want me pining after her or was she concerned?

It's not a game. The fact that she cried - she's in pain. She loves you but she prefer to burn her feelings
and suffer. Her past made her like that to overcome weakness and die itself( die-rebirth process of a scorpio).

She will comeback soon. Stay strong. Build yourself now. Stop begging. She's afraid to proceed with you.

Posted by indiajones33

So yesterday I called a million times, a hundred text messages begging her to reconsider and telling her that being secretive does not mean I'm a liar or cheat.

Still at it? I wonder if you had an upbringing of neglect and was taught to advocate abuse.
Anyone else would have taken the energy you put into calling & texting and knitted a door mat and mailed it to her.

Posted by Impulsv
I have been through a divorce he didn't cheat but worse at my lowest( health) I was tossed a way as a defective human .
When a man cheats u question ur value as a woman
In my case I questioned my value as a human. This is deep subconscious n in fact perhaps my block is trust on another.
Now right after I jumped into not realizing I wasn't ready. The fears n intensity were extreme. I've been single for five years n I've worked hard with counseling n self reflection to come to realize that at the core I lost trust for another. Could it be done yes we all can improve. But it's not fair for another to deal with one that may never trust u again.

Impy,
You are NOT defective. Is that understood?
You are somebody. Remember that. Always.

umm, well, what you are seeing is typical scorpio behavior.

I would know because I am one. Scorps are very manipulative. What she is doing is manipulating you by playing with your emotions. Don't take it too seriously because she will be doing that to you until she trusts you. Scorpios don't trust you, and there is nothing you can do or say to make her trust you. She's going to find the proof she needs by beating it out of you--that means beating you up emotionally like a pinata and analyzing what falls out.

It eventually ends, that means she's either young, or not evolved yet. All Scorpios are like that at one point. *ahem*

But they eventually grow up, or most of them anyway....

Scorpio women ARE far more devious! They say that we Scorpio guys are manipulative. While I recognize her actions as typical Scorpio behavior, if it were me, I'd be writing because I was concerned. However, seeing as this is a Scorpio female, well... I'm not going to talk down to them, but don't mistake them: They like STRENGTH!

I appreciate all the advice. We did get back together, but once again, when she started feeling insecure about something she ended it! We were going strong and she was really attempting to communicate and share her needs but it seems we always end back up at one.

I appreciate all the insight provided. It has been a never ending cycle. I love her but she needs to love me and want to fight for us enough to change her actions. I know she was hurt in the past but I can't keep paying for it.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by indiajones33
I appreciate all the insight provided. It has been a never ending cycle. I love her but she needs to love me and want to fight for us enough to change her actions. I know she was hurt in the past but I can't keep paying for it.

Have you considered the possibility that will never happen? It's important to be prepared.

You make her sound controlling and it seems to be both of you losing all around.

click to expand

yes, I've considered that possibility and unfortunately that's the way things are going. She never openly shares what things I do to offend her, then says I'm badgering her when I attempt to find out, but if I just give her space she still gets miffed. At the end of the day it appears we both have lost because I'm apparently not meeting her needs and I'm not happy with the lack of communication.

Posted by tiziani
I understand. That type of behaviour is very common and I've been through it with people too. My approach is if someone puts up walls around them, well leave them be in their walls. I've met a few people that insist there is more to them if I took the time to ask or find out. Then when I ask, they don't want to talk or they make it difficult, or cryptic. And all I can really say at that point (as a friend) to them is the reality - that they are just not as accessible, mysterious or as deep as they make out to be. Because you try and reach out and no one is there. That's not character or mystery, it's just like you said - absence of communication. Unfortunately there's not really much you can do other than what you have done, and to show her realistically who she is by being an example of a friend.


Sometimes being a good friend means just leaving someone be to sort themselves out. That's my experience.

Thank you. I know I need to walk away and let her sort things out. This is obviously a pattern because she told me, when we were just friends, that she did something similar with the last person she dated. Constantly broke up with him and then got back together. In the end she walked away for good because she didn't trust him.

With our situation we started off as friends and the love naturally grew between us. She has taught me alot about life, love and expression of feelings. It's like, whenever we share a really vulnerable or intimate moment, the next day she finds something wrong. Now, I'm not perfect and have made mistakes of course. I'm a gemini so I joke around and I realized fast you can't joke with a scorpios. I'm friends with majority of my ex and she just doesn't get it, so I backed off those friendships a bit to put her at ease. I just don't get how someone can claim to love you, but they are unable to deal with rough times.

Posted by Impulsv
No one will meet her needs as she hasn't healed. It's not a reflection of u . U can be as open n she will not trust. She is not ready to be in a relationship until she learns n heals . N some may never get to that point. U have an unhealthy relationship. N u are part of it. What draws u to it?
Tiz last sentence ring truesometime a best Freind needs to walk to let them grow.

I guess what draws me to the relationship is the fact I love her and want to spend my life with her. I think it also has to do with how I was raised. Love is forgiveness. I was taught you don't give up on love and just walk away. Endurance, commitment and dedication are foundations of love and when I make a commitment I stick with it. I try not to base my actions on feelings because they are so fleeting. OR it could all be my Pisces moon!

But in the end I know you guys are right and loving myself is more important than attempting to love someone when they can't work past previous hurt. This is unhealthy and I've been tired of it for a while now.

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Sounds like she wants to gain some power over you, and you keep stroking her ego like a thirsty cuckold---which took a beating after she noticed you were "secretive."

Turn her down next time she texts you----she dumped your ass, let her pay the price, it is her loss.

yes, she is controlling and even a bit emotionally manipulative. I'm not even sure she realizes it.

Lol, well I need to get an android app that erases text right away so I won't be tempted. I'm not gonna front, I am weak when it comes to her and those sweet words and stared just draw me back in.

Posted by FrostAndBite
Well it's not really texting you out of the blue if you have a history of an on/off relationship and she texts you two days later. It's actually right on target for the pattern you two have established.

Neither of you sound like you have it together at the moment. Either that or you are both just extremely incompatible. I'd recommend focusing less on her intentions and more on your own. Decide what you want out of life, how you want to live and do it. If something clouds your judgment or prevents you from doing so, it's best to leave it alone or leave it behind for now.

Thank you, this is some awesome advice! I think we may not be that compatible. She is scorpio sun, mercury, venus and Taurus moon. I'm gemini sun, mercury, venus and Pisces moon. She is very sensitive and I am not. I guess I got used to our dysfunctional cycle.