Scorpio trapped!

Hi all,

So I met this scorp guy in 2013 (Sag rising, Aquarius moon, Mercury and Venus in Scorpio) and we instantly had a strong physical connection. I myself am a scorpio (Aquarius rising, Capricorn moon, Mercury and Venus in Sag) and we started seeing each other for about 1 month before we were separated for 9 months. At that time I was super confused because I didn't know what I was to him. He's so silent and walled up there was really no connecting with him long distance. And I got so frustrated because I really wanted to be his and I wanted him and his attention to be completely mine. He wasn't mean or cold. Just silent and not expressive. When we are physically together there's no need for words because our bodies and minds just connect so well. But when you're away from each other for 9 months... anyway, I got so unhappy I told him I didn't want this anymore. And also there was this other guy (Leo) that showed so much more attention and care that I could actually see so I chose the Leo and told him.

When I told the scorp he burst out in hateful anger. He called me a whore and that he loved me and I broke his heart. (He never once said he loved me before). I suspect he couldn't handle me being happy with someone else. But his words got so toxic I iced him out for a few months. I also ended things with Leo because there is no way I can do another LDR.

When we reunited he was extremely charming. And I fell right in his trap. He turned all the tables and made me feel really guilty for leaving him. Made me want to be with him again. And so it was me that asked him for another chance (how the hell did this happen?!). I endured 6 months of his painful anger episodes when he blamed me for eveything going wrong with his life. Punishing me for choosing another guy and shutting him out. I asked him if he could ever forgive me. And he says no. And yet I'm still here because he refuses to let me go.

Now he's away for the last 6 months and back to his non-communicative self. But this time I changed myself completely. I learned to deal when he disappears. I showed him I cared by sending him parcels and texted him daily even if he didn't see them or reply. I learned to be okay.

I'm feeling so frustrated that I'm not growing. That this relationship is not growing. He doesn't talk about how he feels. He doesn't include me in his future plans. But he comes around once in a while to text and makes the world right again. And I hate that he has that much power.

I am terrified to tell him I am unhappy because I do not want to see him angry and bring out that stinger. I get to see him for 5 days next week before he goes away until next year. And I don't know what say to him. If only I knew how he felt. If only he forgave me. If only he invested in a future with me. But none of that is happening right now and I feel so trapped. I don't know if I want out, because I want to keep loving him even if I don't get the same in return. It's so twisted

Posted by silkywaters. I also ended things with Leo because there is no way I can do another LDR.

Is there a shortage of men in your area or something?

You have no idea -.- people are basically asexual and then suddenly they're married.