Scorpios and Character

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beautifulsoul74
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Hey Scorps! I hope all is well with you! I have a question for you ladies and gentlemen. How big are you on character when it comes to someone you love? When it comes to this, is it an absolute or do you compromise? I'm not a Scorp, but I do have three Scorp placements: Mars, Ascendant, Uranus. Since Mars is my chart ruler, Scorpio has a big influence on how I deal with things. Dishonesty, selfishness, and hypocrisy are three deal breakers for me. I understand that everyone is this way to a certain extent, but they place a major role in how I feel about someone. How do you all handle these areas? Looking for some guidance. Thank you for your comments.
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beautifulsoul74
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Posted by exoskeleton
well, who would waste time on a disrespecting asshole? 😛

character, a good heart/spirit, and strength of mind is what draws me to someone. though i'm quite accepting and not judgmental of someone if they had more negative qualities in the past.



I'm the same way. For me there is a difference between saying someone is lying and calling them a liar. To me, the latter defines character and thus judging. I don't ever do that, not even in anger( gotta love that Scorp self control 😉 ). It really bothers me though when someone is dshonest even in the face of irrefutable proof of their dishonesty. In those cases, they're basically adding insult to injury by insulting your intelligence. It never ceases to amaze me how people will underestimate what you know and how you feel. They'll try to treat you like a child as if they're somehow superior. You especially encounter this when you're "nice."
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PhoenixRising
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
Hey Scorps! I hope all is well with you! I have a question for you ladies and gentlemen. How big are you on character when it comes to someone you love? When it comes to this, is it an absolute or do you compromise? I'm not a Scorp, but I do have three Scorp placements: Mars, Ascendant, Uranus. Since Mars is my chart ruler, Scorpio has a big influence on how I deal with things. Dishonesty, selfishness, and hypocrisy are three deal breakers for me. I understand that everyone is this way to a certain extent, but they place a major role in how I feel about someone. How do you all handle these areas? Looking for some guidance. Thank you for your comments.



You've asked a few different questions here. You will need to clarify "How do you handle these areas"--meaning dishonesty, selfishness and hypocrisy?

To answer the other question, character is very important to me as well. Honesty and loyalty are a must and therefore are deal breakers for me. With other characteristics that people display it really does depend on the nature of my relationship with someone, but I often use what people say or how they respond to questions/events and situations to determine how far that relationship will go (yard length vs. up close and "personal"). I do this with absolutely everyone I interact with.

For example, someone once told me "feel free to ask me anything", I did. It wasn't anything personal, simply asking their approach in a given situation. He was all over the d*amn map, talking for 2-3 minutes, using a lot of buzzwords, (maybe for my benefit *shrug*) actually saying "nothing" really. In the end he never answered my question, but he thought he did a fantastic job at impressing me. I don't like when people can't answer a direct question. My Scorpio stinger immediately gets into position because I don't trust the person. No matter what happens after this point, they have already been put on the "keep two eyes open with this one" list, and unfortunately they will stay there. This is very different between someone that is being cautious with me because they are getting to know me, I can tell the difference. I have just been very good at sensing when someone's response is about fear/anxiety vs. someone just being shady and full of sh*t, and I am rarely wrong.
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beautifulsoul74
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Comments: 122 · Posts: 5590 · Topics: 41
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Hey Scorps! I hope all is well with you! I have a question for you ladies and gentlemen. How big are you on character when it comes to someone you love? When it comes to this, is it an absolute or do you compromise? I'm not a Scorp, but I do have three Scorp placements: Mars, Ascendant, Uranus. Since Mars is my chart ruler, Scorpio has a big influence on how I deal with things. Dishonesty, selfishness, and hypocrisy are three deal breakers for me. I understand that everyone is this way to a certain extent, but they place a major role in how I feel about someone. How do you all handle these areas? Looking for some guidance. Thank you for your comments.
click to expand




You've asked a few different questions here. You will need to clarify "How do you handle these areas"--meaning dishonesty, selfishness and hypocrisy?

To answer the other question, character is very important to me as well. Honesty and loyalty are a must and therefore are deal breakers for me. With other characteristics that people display it really does depend on the nature of my relationship with someone, but I often use what people say or how they respond to questions/events and situations to determine how far that relationship will go (yard length vs. up close and "personal"). I do this with absolutely everyone I interact with.

For example, someone once told me "feel free to ask me anything", I did. It wasn't anything personal, simply asking their approach in a given situation. He was all over the d*amn map, talking for 2-3 minutes, using a lot of buzzwords, (maybe for my benefit *shrug*) actually saying "nothing" really. In the end he never answered my question, but he thought he did a fantastic job at impressing me. I don't like when people can't answer a direct question. My Scorpio stinger immediately gets into position because I don't trust the person. No matter what happens after this point, they have already been put on the "keep two eyes open with this one" list, and unfortunately they will stay there. This is very different between someone that is being cautious with me because they are getting to know me, I can tell the difference. I have just been very good at sensing when someone's response is about fear/anxiety vs. someone just being shady and full of sh*t, and I am rarely wrong.
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beautifulsoul74
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Got cut off lol.

Here's what I said:


PR, its funny you say that because I take the exact same approach even though I'm a Sag. It absolutely annoys me when someone doesn't answer a direct question and it makes me suspicious. I get that someone may be cautious, but if you say you trust me, why hide the truth especially if you're in my life and your actions directly affect me. I think people don't grasp that fundamental concept. As for dishonestly, hypocrisy, and selfishness, do you cut someone off when they display those characteristics? How forgiving are you? I know I'm not perfect, but I know I'm not selfish or dishonest and I try my hardest not to be hypocritical.
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PhoenixRising
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
Got cut off lol.

Here's what I said:

... I think people don't grasp that fundamental concept.



Agreed.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Got cut off lol.
As for dishonestly, hypocrisy, and selfishness, do you cut someone off when they display those characteristics? How forgiving are you? I know I'm not perfect, but I know I'm not selfish or dishonest and I try my hardest not to be hypocritical.
click to expand




First I'll take dishonesty and selfishness. The answer is yes and no. It really depends on the type of relationship I have with the person and what they have lied about. In all cases though, I will most definitely place them in a different category: "you can not be trusted". Fixed. There is no gray with me here. Problem is, our relationship does change, no matter how much they try to make it "better". If I can't trust you, you really have no place in my life in any significant way. If it's an intimate relationship I withdraw just a bit, but I may stay--again depending on the lie. If the person thought I was guarded before--well they have no idea how guarded I can be until the moment they've lied to me about something big. Selfishness...I give the person more opportunity to redeem that quality. I guess I think becoming self-less is a process; selfishness is a trait that can be changed. Where lying about something is an act you've already committed. No changing that.

Now for hypocrisy. I also give this more time to work itself out because I recognize I can be very hypocritical at times. In most cases I am more than willing to work on it for the benefit of the relationship. In other cases I will make no attempts to change or apologize for my hypocrisy. It is what it is. Don't like it kick rocks and find someone else. For example, I expect that the person I am with will spill his complete life story to me, yet I will not share mine. I justify this double standard because I know that although I haven't spilled the beans about myself *upfront*, my deepest desire is to trust someone enough to reveal all to. If he has proven himself "worthy", I will open up, withholding nothing.
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beautifulsoul74
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@PR

Understood.

As far as hypocrisy goes, I guess I'm too idealistic. For example, calling women sluts. Since th beginning of time men have been free to sleep with whomever they choose at any point in time with any stigma bring attached to their reputation by other men. That hasn't been the case for women and this condition still exists. Putting aside the expectation of monagamy when given as a condition of a relationship, women should be extended the same courtesy as men as far as how many lovers they have and how frequently they have new ones. Simply stated, either both men and women are whores and sluts or they both aren't...there is no gray area. If you condone the behavior for one then it should be so for the other. I've often found this puzzling, especially coming from men. I've stated my objections to the fellas lol and personally keep this in mind.

For opening up, I usually open up pretty quickly. This has cost me in many ways, but I personally feel that a woman should know everything in order to make an informed decision as to whether she wants to be with me or not. Of course one has to use wisdom and judgement in these matters. I've been on the other side of the coin that you described above quite a few times. In some cases, I showed patience because it was warranted. In others, not so much so.
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PhoenixRising
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
@PR

Understood.

As far as hypocrisy goes, I guess I'm too idealistic. For example, calling women sluts. Since th beginning of time men have been free to sleep with whomever they choose at any point in time with any stigma bring attached to their reputation by other men. That hasn't been the case for women and this condition still exists. Putting aside the expectation of monagamy when given as a condition of a relationship, women should be extended the same courtesy as men as far as how many lovers they have and how frequently they have new ones. Simply stated, either both men and women are whores and sluts or they both aren't...there is no gray area. If you condone the behavior for one then it should be so for the other. I've often found this puzzling, especially coming from men. I've stated my objections to the fellas lol and personally keep this in mind.




Agreed.
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beautifulsoul74
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Comments: 122 · Posts: 5590 · Topics: 41
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by beautifulsoul74


For opening up, I usually open up pretty quickly. This has cost me in many ways, but I personally feel that a woman should know everything in order to make an informed decision as to whether she wants to be with me or not....



Interesting, because this seems to contradicts what's under your avi. Just an observation .
click to expand




Lol. It does. I'm a little uncomfortable talking about myself at first, but that dissipates quickly. I'd rather focus on getting to know you and in compromise I open up quickly...if that helps.
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PhoenixRising
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Posted by beautifulsoul74
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by beautifulsoul74


For opening up, I usually open up pretty quickly. This has cost me in many ways, but I personally feel that a woman should know everything in order to make an informed decision as to whether she wants to be with me or not....



Interesting, because this seems to contradicts what's under your avi. Just an observation .



Lol. It does. I'm a little uncomfortable talking about myself at first, but that dissipates quickly. I'd rather focus on getting to know you and in compromise I open up quickly...if that helps.
click to expand




It does.