Scorps, please help!

I'm a Gemini dating a Scorpio for a month now. We've been friends for over a year, but I moved away in July due to my divorce from a cheating Sag. Scorpio & I started casually talking on FB, then things quickly progressed via phone/Skype and emotions ran rampant. I admitted love first, he followed immediately even going so far as to talk WHEN for marriage, kids, etc in the same conversation. I know Scorps are notorious for being overwhelming in the emotions dept, but I'm also all-or-none. Not going to waste my time w/ lukewarm feelings. When you know, you know. He said he's NEVER felt like this about any girl, ever. He even got his mom on the phone to confirm he's never acted like this, she's never seen him so in love before. Things seem great. 🙂 He's planning to visit me mid-December and plans to move here next year. I say "if things work out this visit" and he just smiles.
He's visiting his friends/family prior to coming out to see me. He has a daughter, no attachment to the ex, and two 'step daughters' (no relation) w/ an ex he was talking about getting back/marrying before we started to talk. She had established relationship status w/ him on FB that I brought up the first week we were talking. He spoke w/ her, her status changed.
Problem: So he's been visiting w/ the 2 'step daughters' this whole time (10 days so far). Very little, if ANY communication with me. I trusted my gut & messaged him "Don't contact me, we're through" when I suspected he lied about something big. Of the angry responses, in summary his included "I didn't cheat on you, yes I lied one of the 2 steps is biologically mine. I'm sorry I lied, I love you & wish you could see that." Resolved, still bad gut feeling, no communication on his part the past 2 days.
How much of this is typical Scorpio win her emotionally, then put her on the back burner, focus the intensity on the kids & visit? How much is what my instincts suspect- weighing his options, doing whatev he wants w/ the ex & if things don't work then still come out here? How much is due to my lack of trust from my ex, so now I seem like a crazy spaz? I don't want to be played again, not putting up w/ a cheating liar. But the connection w/ him are SO STRONG, when we actually connect. Scorps are notorious for one love for life. Is it me like he keeps saying? Or is he hung up on her and only contacts me at his convenience, when she's not around? So confused. Birth chart to follow.

My birth chart:
Gemini- Rising in Pisces, Sun in Gemini, Moon in Virgo, Mercury in Taurus, Venus in Gemini, Mars in Scorpio, Jupiter in Capricorn, Saturn in Scorpio, Uranus in Sagittarius, Neptune in Capricorn, Pluto in Libra, N. Node in Gemini

His birth chart:
Scorpio- Rising in Capricorn, Sun in Scorpio, Moon in Taurus, Mercury in Libra, Venus in Sagittarius, Mars in Libra, Jupiter in Aries, Saturn in Sagittarius, Uranus in Sagittarius, Neptune in Capricorn, Pluto in Scorpio, N. Node in Aries

I don't know much about the birth charts, just got the readings from http://astrology.about.com/library/bl_freeAstrochart.htm

Thank you so much! I was reading some of the other posts, liked alot of the responses I saw from you in particular, so I'm quite flattered you took the time to note on mine lol. I haven't heard from him in 2 days, just messaged him "Alright Houdini..." he replied almost instantly, lol. I have called him out on anything I have had an issue with, he was pretty brief but seemingly honest in response. But I know Scorps like their privacy. He's told me some pretty intense things about his past, opened up quickly & naturally, but surprised himself in that he hadn't told a girl those specifics before. And boy, does he have a past! But I'm more concerned w/ his maturity in going about his future and he knows that. But again, w/ having been cheated on in the past I'm a firm believer of "Don't Mistake Kindness for Weakness" so we'll see where it goes...
Guess it's my Gemini nature, but with both his reply and your take on our 'promising' placements I'm feeling a bit better. Not happy w/ the misses, but nothing I can do about that. And the maturity factor is huge, so again, we'll see.

TOTALLY understand the played for a fool feeling w/ the disappearing act. That's exactly what led me to post on a forum in the first place...add trust issues, and I'm a hot mess one minute, though perfectly fine & understanding the next. Go dual nature Gems! Argh...
Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.
I've dated a Scorpio before, amazing relationship just nothing in common to actually sustain a lifetime commitment from either of us. He did the back burner act a lot, putting me aside when he felt secure I was there for him & he could focus on something else in his life. I hated that feeling, but recognize it now. It's the insecurities that make me doubt, and the lack of face time together to know how he feels for sure.

a month? marriage? really?

I dont know how old you are, but I dont give a toot what anyones sign is, how are you moving so fast and expect to "know" this person? and...just days before he was involved with his ex, to the point they were "status'd" on FB together? Lying about a child? My God, hun....you really don't like the color red, do you? RED FLAGS!!

Slow down....get to know this person before you buy that wedding dress. How irresponsible when you have children involved. Denial is so strong. If you get a lying douche bag again its your own fault...

BigGirlPanties, you are very much right. I have a hard time seeing past what I want to see, thus the issues w/ the ex husband. I'm not buying a wedding dress anytime soon, that's for sure. I appreciate your upfront, direct & to-the-pointedness.

BGP, I like you. We must think like. though you are much more articulate with your words than I. 🙂 Did you ever hear back from your scorpio?

@tpace: I only spoke with such directness to bring the point home that we, and yes I include myself, must not get so "intoxicated" by anyone, but especially that magnetic Scorpio man as to forget our responsibiltiies and keep our mind about us. I got all sucked up into a hotter than hades Scorpio and for a time lost my identity and out up with some not cool behavior. As I learned to cool my hormones, and hold him accountable, he imporved alot.

@shaggittarius: THANKS for the nice compliment 😉 much appreciate your kind words. My scorp has balls the size of a gnat or an elephant, depending on how you perceive his behavior. I had sent an email over 2 weeks, but since he was always a pussy about my confronting him, he didnt read it....until yesterday. (Thanks to my email tracking system).So, he read it, but no contact as of yet. He is still reading my online blog, however, so seems to have an interest in my life. As the days go by and the silence grows, so does my anger and my self esteem. Being treated like a red-headed step child is pretty much a deal breaker in my book. I would very much enjoy the opportunity to extend to him the same silence should he choose to re-appear with a bundt cake and the pretense that nothing what-so-ever happened.

Intoxication is THE word. And he is f'n hot, which makes me question even more his reasons to be with me. Not that I doubt my sexiness (I don't- not by a longshot) but my circumstances aren't very appealing to most single guys. Now, it seems he has overcome a lot in his past, evolved if you will. I'm sure there is much more to evolve out of on his part. Hopefully he will improve as well, but I still doubt him highly. Instincts or what-have-you, I'm thinking he's just simply a player. And homie don't play that. I'm getting that same red-headed-stepchild treatment, ego is taking the blow and I'm not sure for how much longer. I really appreciate all the responses, and just sat down w/ a prior-unknown-to-be-Scorpio friend. Good advice there too.

What is a "hades" scorpio?

No, hotter than Hades ie hotter than hell. Smokin' hot guy, magnetic charm characteristic of a Scorpio. SO HARD to turn down sexually, lol. And I haven't even had sex with mine, still magnetically clinging to him. Oh, these guys are so f'n good, yet so f'n bad. Irresistible to say in the least...

Oh oh OH!! haha totally get it. My last was that, exactly THAT! I didnt sleep with him either, could have but it was too soon for me. Its blatently obvious hes only interested in sex. It bothered me at first but its not going to stop me from treetrunking him in the future. Some "encounters" are just too hot to pass up. Lifes short.

I have been dickering around with this dude for a year so I am a head of you, and can give you some insight. Yeah, they know how magnetic they are, and that they are like fly paper to a fly, but beyond that, they have, or at least mine has, terrible insecurities. Mine admitted it frequently and if you read up on scorps, you will see its a characteristic at least of the men. I think he uses what he can, his charm, his allure to attract me, but then doesnt have much substance in which to keep me other than those lovely scorp tests. Why do they test? Cus they so damn insecure and fearful of rejection. so, hmmm...wheres their confidence now?

The pull backs, hot n cold, push n pull is typical of them. From what Ive read and experienced from him, and his own words, when the feelings become more intense and intimate, they pull back is out of fear and over-whelmingness. For me, he did it once about a month after we met, we had a run in over a lie (of his) and Poof! he vanished for 6 weeks. When he returned, I didnt question him, though now I see I should've but I tested the poop outta him and kept a big ass wall up. It must've worked cus he behaved for a long while, until a month ago when I confronted him in a text about being inconsistent. And guess what?? Poof! He never repiled to more texts, emails, calls. Sent my ass to Iceland with this freeze out. His ultra sensitivity can kiss my ass cus no one deserves to be treated tht way. If he wants out, he thinks I did his ass wrong, he can find a way to say bye bye without hurting me with silent scorn. Obviously I have found my back bone, what a butt head.

Damnit- it just deleted what I've been typing the past 15 minutes...
Anyway, about the insecurities, I called him out on that the first couple of conversations we had. I know he's uncomfortable with himself, his past actions, how it affects his future, by how nonchalant he acts. He's so much deeper on so many levels for so many other topics, I can see in his eyes (ok, via Skype) how his unevolved Scorpio-self has affected where he wants to see himself in the future. The iciness...typical in a really, really badly burned Scorp.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
I have been dickering around with this dude for a year so I am a head of you, and can give you some insight. Yeah, they know how magnetic they are, and that they are like fly paper to a fly, but beyond that, they have, or at least mine has, terrible insecurities. Mine admitted it frequently and if you read up on scorps, you will see its a characteristic at least of the men. I think he uses what he can, his charm, his allure to attract me, but then doesnt have much substance in which to keep me other than those lovely scorp tests. Why do they test? Cus they so damn insecure and fearful of rejection. so, hmmm...wheres their confidence now?

Agreed. But really it's the ones with mars in scorpio that have the "animal" magnetism 😛

The one I'm dating right now hasn't disappeared at all. I'm very proud of him for being so mature and not having an inferiority complex like most scorps. He has a quiet confidence about him. He can be modest, but he's never loudly "confident". So I totally agree with you that those who are insecure are the ones who act up (tests, disappearances).
I've witnessed it before and it's very sad. Especially when the guy is an older man

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by BigGirlPanties
I have been dickering around with this dude for a year so I am a head of you, and can give you some insight. Yeah, they know how magnetic they are, and that they are like fly paper to a fly, but beyond that, they have, or at least mine has, terrible insecurities. Mine admitted it frequently and if you read up on scorps, you will see its a characteristic at least of the men. I think he uses what he can, his charm, his allure to attract me, but then doesnt have much substance in which to keep me other than those lovely scorp tests. Why do they test? Cus they so damn insecure and fearful of rejection. so, hmmm...wheres their confidence now?

Agreed. But really it's the ones with mars in scorpio that have the "animal" magnetism 😛

The one I'm dating right now hasn't disappeared at all. I'm very proud of him for being so mature and not having an inferiority complex like most scorps. He has a quiet confidence about him. He can be modest, but he's never loudly "confident". So I totally agree with you that those who are insecure are the ones who act up (tests, disappearances).
I've witnessed it before and it's very sad. Especially when the guy is an older man

click to expand

Yep it's the mars and same about a mature one 😄!

tpace77, he may be someone to have fun with, but not to be taken seriously? maybe use him to get your "dating" feet wet...

I don't have the same placements with him at all. But he his very much fire like it seems. Soo i hope I can help. Us scorps def. Have a way to be swelled off our feet by the most intriguing things and creatures on this planet and beyond.. Soo I have no doubt he was very into you.

He seems to me at a crossroad though. Because as a scorp. If I some how got swept away seeing a family I "could" and then seeing a family I sorta "sorta" do have.. It can be confusing. It just may seem his adventurous side his coming out of him and he is being swept away by feeling of this time or that.. I know it's different with woman and men... But I know for certain that if I am truly swept away even for a second.. I'm going after that person and no ex or anything of my past is gonna get in the way.. I know I didn't say much that might help you.. But I hope it did in some way =]. Keep these things in mind when meeting a fire like Scorpio.

Omg I apologize for my triple reply. I some how blocked myself from seeing my own msgs lol... I'm a dxp newb *sigh*

I was debating that, pathfinder. Worst case scenario, have phenomenal rebound sex. 😉 I'm not sure if I take him seriously yet, though there's been some updates to my original post...I read through some of the forums on this site and compartmentalized the better phrasing w/ my thoughts in messages to the bf, trying to see things from his perspective but also to test the waters and get some sort of feedback from him. Basically I told him that it seemed to me he was putting me through some sort of test, feeding my insecurities by not keeping in touch on purpose and then when my mind runs with it, blame ME for having trust issues. Set me up to think I'm the one getting pissed off & ending it, all the while he's in control of the scenario since he had the foresight to prepare emotionally, or simply test my 'worthiness' and longevity. If we had sex, I'd think he was simply a player blowing me off. We have had no physical contact since we started dating (we've known each other a year face-to-face, but I moved) and he's coming out here for a visit next week, planning to move next month.
I continued with "seeing as the sex hasn't happened, your actions tell me you're afraid I'm going to hurt you. Bad. And I may have already hurt you by assuming what you've been up to and acting out. IF this is the case, know that if I feel something is worth keeping in my life, I go to great lengths and work hard to keep it. HOWEVER, one sided relationships aren't really my thing. And though it sounded great at first, either you're testing me or playing me and I don't play that. I guess I seem rather lighthearted and unclear, but I've taken everything you've said heartfelt and seriously. If I am in any way emotional filler for a long-lost-love, please let me know now and I want out. If you feel as strongly as you lead me to believe, then PLEASE F'ING COMMUNICATE!"
Since that message, he's been a bit more in contact, though his excuse was he was busy with his girls...ok, I've got a lot going on here too, but there's 24 hours in a day...you're not off the hook that easily, though I will lead you to believe so. Meanwhile I did FB stalk a little, and his ex has had nothing nice to say about him after his initial arrival she was excited for, so I suppose that's good news for me. I think he was either leading her on to see where they would go when he was there, if it didn't work out have me as back up. OR was simply being nice to her to be able to see the girls.

IF he's legit, then I can honestly say the passion and intensity he showed toward me as fuel that began our 'relationship' is now just being fueled elsewhere. Like, while with his daughters, it's all about them, everything else goes on the backburner. Maybe a little testing to ensure I'm long-term, but when he's with them, it's all about them. When he gets here it's the same passion & intensity focused on me.
I only look at it that way because that's the way it was with my ex-Scorpio. When he felt secure I was there for him, he caged me up to come back to at his convenience while he focused his intent on pursuing his degree and career. When the semester ended, we had a relationship again. Does this make sense? If I hadn't already experienced it (and HATED IT! I need communication! Typical Gem that I am, lol) I wouldn't recognize it.
The negative reaction from his ex and the things he's been consistently saying are all telling me he's looking forward to a future relationship with me. But logic & reasoning and all astrology aside, along with past experience having been cheated on, I'm having a difficult time separating 'looking' for negatives that I recognize from my ex husband from actual negatives bf is bringing to the table. I don't want to sabotage this myself, and recognize Scorpios have their silent way of proving things to themselves, but as previously stated, "Gems ABHOR shady." Only time will tell. Face time for sure. So again, we shall see....

OMG Scor- the crossroads thing I totally understand, and you put that very well. I've been extremely encouraging of him staying in his girls' lives, mostly from having experienced the adverse of that scenario.
He's been extremely consistent with all of the lovey-dovey things he says. The first time I went off on him (regarding the whole FB ex status thing, and he simply said "Don't hold his (my ex) shit against me") and I admitted I had a hard time stopping myself from pushing and pushing him to leave (this girl's got some Daddy issues to still overcome...) he replied "I got it Babe. I will protect you, rain or shine. Through the good and bad. No one will hurt you, I promise you that. I'm your new man, you're only man...and same for you. Let me protect you. I love the soft side of you, it's my favorite part of your complexity. I hope you will stay that way. I fell in love with you and that means I'm yours forever. I don't care if you rant, I'm here to listen. To stand by your side." And pretty much everything he tells me (lovey dovey anyway, we have a raunchy joke life) is similar.

This is my issue and why I came to this flipping forum in the first place- do Scorpio guys use shit like that to win the girl over, so they can fuck around with her heart? Or am I just coming out of a relationship where I was lied to so much, that I doubt anything I'm told at present...and lucky me I get the most intense & passionate guy of the zodiac who says everything in his heart. (If legit, then seriously, LUCKY ME!) I'm not sure if I'm confused, or just looking for multiple perspectives so I can understand this from different angles. That's kinda my thing, lol. I'll ask strangers on the train for advice just b/c you never know where their opinion is coming from, and I like well-rounded, educated opinions on any topic I'm sincerely interested in pursuing.

I'm sorry for my late reply.. I hope thing have been changing for the better for you by now..

I could see 2 sides to this.. Because I myself have said something very similar to my guy before we went "official".. He himself has rather issues as well and still pushes me away to some degree.. So I think I understand your view point about this.. And you might have helped me understand his..

No worries about being on here cause of this.. We all stray to forums on here usually because of issues =P I'm like that too. Talk to strangers to get a outsiders point of view a lot..

From what I know of Scorpio guys.. Is that it could be both ways unfortunetly.. Though they usually play games to protect the fact that they really are following their own heart. Don't know if you get what I mean. It always starts of with who gives into who.. But once they are for sure about that person and they trust the security they bring.. The chains fall off and they become more free to love.. It's a 50/ 50 on how they will end up with someone based on how firm but un- smothering that person can stick you around them.. You always have to leave a bit of mystery they wanna solve in you.. They red to be enticed by you at all times.. I hope this makes sense to what you are wondering.. Putting thoughts to words is not my best forte lol