Seeking thoughts, input,...?

I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this, maybe for a bit of feedback, maybe just to get it off my chest.

I am a Sagittarius married to a Virgo. I know I will get flack for posting what I am about to, but hopefully some understanding as well. A year ago, my husband began an emotional affair with a young Pisces woman. Despite many efforts to work it out, he still invests his emotions in her, not me. I know there is some sense that Sags are emotionless, but I disagree, as I know personally, I am deeply emotional but I hide it well to protect myself. That being said, I??ve discovered what I crave most in a relationship is someone who cares enough to dive into my soul and know my heart and let me do the same in return. And for the last year my Virgo husband has chosen to do this with another woman. I almost feel like I could be more understanding of a physical affair.

During this year, I befriended a male Scorpio online through a forum of a shared hobby. We began chatting as he helped answer some questions I had. We then both got involved in a small private group chat. Even online there was something that intrigued me about him (that Scorpio charm is strong!) and I just felt that there was something there, that he was meant to be a part of my life. (It seems there's something about Scorpios for me, as my female best friend of 11 years is also a Scorpio and I felt that strong connection with her right away as well.)

Anyway, because of what I was going through with my husband, I was painfully lonely. Very honestly, I began making up excuses to chat with Scorpio privately. And it worked, lol. Early on, I think I was able to grab his attention because I could read him so well. He once even accused me of being psychic. Over time we formed a friendship and then as I began discovering things about my husband??s relationship with this other woman, we really bonded. There was something about him that I felt I could confide in and as he had left his ex because she cheated on him, he understood what I was going through with the things I was discovering.

We've since become very close, talking every day we are both available, which is most days (our relationship is strictly online). Practically, there's not a lot about us that makes sense together. My marriage for starters. Our age difference — I am 12 years older. The fact that we live with an ocean between us. Our wildly different backgrounds and differing religious beliefs.

But there?

(Seems to have cut off? Sorry, new here.)

But there's something there, as if all of the earthly, material things could be stripped away — my soul could just chill with his and be happy and at peace. I??d long ago given up on the idea of soul mates, as I knew my husband wasn't mine. But this new relationship with Scorpio makes me wonder.

And then some days I think I'm being my foolish, Sag self, seeing things that are not there. Because I'm so straightforward with people, I naively assume the same of others, when in reality that's not the case. I??ve often gotten my heart broken for taking men??s actions at face value, only to be wrong.

So I guess I'm curious what others think may be the case. Everything I??ve read about Scorpios, he is textbook. Which, based on the things he's said to me, lead me to believe that he cares for me very much. For example, he's admitted he confides in me emotionally more than anyone else. He flirts and has openly admitted he flirts with me. He has said more than once that I am fascinating to him. In the early stages of our friendship, he was pretty heartless about my work on our shared hobby. Now, anytime I show him work, he is very complementary. At first, he was a bit resistant to my offers to help him, now he more often accepts it. Anytime I express any self-doubt or lack of confidence (in any aspect of life), he tries to reassure me and build me up. It has also seemed to me that in select conversations, we've danced around the subject of our emotions for each other, but because I am married, it's like this unspoken line that we do not cross.

Also, to be blunt, we've talked a lot about sex, lol. Never about it with each other, but enough about our own preferences that I know sex with him would be mind-blowing. Yes, I??ve thought about it. And I'm pretty certain he feels the same way.

(And I realize that two wrongs do not make a right, and my emotional affair is just as wrong as my husband??s, so I understand any negative comments in regards to that. However, it is a need of mine that is not being met and despite my efforts at working it out with my husband, he continues to choose another woman over me. )

Okay, so I read all this and I thought to myself....wow, do I really want to respond to something so lengthy and loaded? LOL

But I know that if I were in your position, that I would want someone to help me too. It's why you're here after all. So, I hope that I can help even if just a little bit.

First of all, I am very sorry that your husband did that to you. That is very unfortunate and just so unfair. I think emotionally getting involved with someone is still cheating and he falls into that category *and you seem to be falling into that pattern too, I see* You mentioned that you have taken efforts to sort this out with him and that he is still investing her. The first question that popped into my mind was, "UM, so she's just giving up and letting him do his own thing?!" I mean, for starters you seem like you've already given up and he is aware you know- but is STILL investing in this chick despite this.


Which leaves the question....WHY DO YOU STAY ?Are you honest with him? Is he aware that you know that he is still chatting with her? Like seriously, WHY. WASTE. YOUR. TIME? Why waste his? If it's not so simple, what holds you back?

About Mr. Scorpio there, he does seem like he is interested but most Scorpios are "walled up" for lack of better term and take their time in getting to trust another. Which clearly explains why he not welcome to you helping him with things at first. Clearly, you can see that he has taken an edge of "the wall" lol. I would not be so hasty to give him your heart (and morally and personally speaking, I wouldn't at all until you're out of the marriage for the sake of all that's right). Based on what you say, it's REALLY hard to know! I mean, Scorpios are really secretive, so you may have no idea what is going on in that head of his. So until he makes it as clear as day, don't invest.

Or better, talk to your husband, make ex husbands plans, and press forward. But not for the sake of Mr.Scorpio. FOR YOUR OWN.

hmmm I see a different perspective on this......

You chatting with the Scorpio and becoming emotionally involved with him is karma for your husband doing it to you. Some Virgos will cheat on their wives but rather not divorce for varies reasons. It is up to you though to not put up with the disrespect and to walk out on him.

You and your husband both need to be honest with each other since you now are both cheating emotionally one can't be mad over the other. I bet if you tell him what your doing is the exact same thing he is doing with that woman that he will feel so hurt to straighten up his act and not cheat on you again. It doesn't matter how long you've been married don't let him get comfortable in disrespecting you if yo show a man you will leave him and not put up with any butter he will straighten up and not disrespect you again. He is only doing what YOU are allowing.

I don't condone you cheating as well but as I stated that is your husband karma. You should know better that two wrongs don't make a right and been married long enough to know that COMMUNICATION is number one in your marriage. You knew about the affair but didn't call him out on it? That means you are tolerating it and are scared to address it because it can lead to a nasty divorce you both are comfortable. Now if he wasn't your soulmate then you shouldn't have married him and wasted your youth.

With that being said this to shall pass it is only a test in your marriage and you and your husband or breaking the vows of what God intended marriage to be.

Good luck and may you make the right choice.

P.S when you both communicate find out what is it that he needs from you that he is seeking else where. It seems like the both of you lack the emotional needs of eachother. I hope you two dodnt get married on a superficial level if so then both of you need to come to realize that someone else is meant for you. But what ever you do communicate with your husband and be honest with him including calling him out on his affair (please state all facts bc you know they are logical and will deny until you present evidence).

As for the Scorpio he is only there to feed your ego just like the Pisces woman is feeding your husbands ego.

+1

I think you should also get yourself and your situation in order because dealing with a Scorpio is no joke. I've only had to deal with one and he tells me all the time that "He plays for keeps". He taking his sweet as time but I still don't want to play with his emotions and hurt him. Getting physical will definitely ruin it for you if you are thinking over turning to your Scorpio for physical comfort. He may not even trust you anymore if you are willing to cheat.

Thank you all for not being too harsh. It was quite the lengthy post, lol. Which, to answer a question brought up, is why I did not go into all of the detail of my experience with my husband. I have not, in fact, sat idly by the last year while his relationship has gone on. It began a year ago this month and when I realized how much time he was spending texting this woman, I cautioned him against it. I realized at first it was a friend trying to help a friend, but I told him to be careful. That just led to a pattern of him hiding things from me. I learned in September that he had been spending hours on the phone with her - even lying to me telling me he was working late so that he could (she lives too far away for anything physical to have happened).

That was the first big messy confrontation, which started a cycle of me discovering things, confronting him, him making promises, only for me to discover that he was not keeping them. Our last confrontation was in February and since then he's been talking to her more than ever. I've tried very hard to rationally express to him my feelings, what I need, etc. He denies any feelings for her, yet the things I've seen him say to her (yep, I snooped) tell me otherwise.

Why do I stay? Simply at this point it's because we have two children and at this moment in time, I feel it is best for them. I know I will probably get crap for that too, but it would be several more lengthy posts to go into all of that. (I swear I'm trying to keep things brief.)

Oh, and also, I'm not really looking to start a relationship with Scorpio. For starters, he lives on a different continent and neither of us has the means to visit the other anytime soon, if ever. I do care for him very much and sometimes I think he feels the same, so I was mostly curious if other Scorpios thought it might be possible. That's all, really. Just a Sag living in a dream world, I suppose.

And yeah, I know my marriage is a mess, lol.

"Some Virgos will cheat on their wives but rather not divorce for varies reasons. "
I agree.
It seems you are forced to an open marriage.


"They sit there feeling sorry for themselves, being stubborn or ignoring their own true feelings, hoping it will change, or they are afraid to let go and him start something real with the other woman, or they don't know what life is like without that person, so they stay"
I agree.

"dealing with a Scorpio is no joke"
I agree.
It's deadly serious.

"... it might be possible. That's all, really. Just a Sag living in a dream world, I suppose."
Everything is possible.
Your chat with the man across the ocean is just entertainment. He is exploring the world (it's trendy to have friends everywhere in the world). You are distracting yourself from unpleasant reality.
Is it 100% a bad thing? no (every thing finds a usage one day). But it is just as valuable as distraction.

" And yeah, I know my marriage is a mess, lol."
Are you switching into entertainment mode again?
You don't like serious affairs, do you?

Posted by sagatheart
Oh, and also, I'm not really looking to start a relationship with Scorpio. For starters, he lives on a different continent and neither of us has the means to visit the other anytime soon, if ever. I do care for him very much and sometimes I think he feels the same, so I was mostly curious if other Scorpios thought it might be possible. That's all, really. Just a Sag living in a dream world, I suppose.

And yeah, I know my marriage is a mess, lol.

You really DO live in a sag dream world lol. There is basically no point of this thread. You seem okay with the fact that your marriage is a mess. You asked about this Scorpio man but it turns out you don't actually want a relationship with him even though you admit you ate getting emotionally involved. God forbid this poor Scorpio man actually opens up to you and starts investing. You don't mess around casually with a Scorpio. If that's your intention do him a favor and leave him alone. Sorry if I seem rude but I think it's better you don't waste his time. I know it's what you'll end up doing a once you're waiting your time. With your current husband.

Since you're wasting your time with your current husband*

Sagatheart, several questions, respond if you wish.
What's your ascendant?
And Scorpio?
Where he from?