So, uh, I think my experiment failed.

But not by my doing exactly. I told you all about the conversations I had with the guys I was planning to date, all at the same time. They all seemed ok with it at that time. So then I went out with my friend the virgo, and suddenly the other two have washed their hands. I'm standing here confused, is this a territory thing? And..in the meantime, the virguy wants to see me at least weekly. But I'm still thinking I might head over to sundance and find other guys as well..but still seeing the virgo weekly sounds fantastic. Lol. Y'all told me this wasn't going to work, but this isn't what I expected either!

LoL Elle. Only problem is, now I only have one to focus on.. and that is a recipe for me to get attached. Fckin'ay I was trying to subvert myself and not allow this situation to occur thus preventing any feelings and ramifications from it. Guess I need to go to Sundance and find some other guys.. who don't know each other? Still not sure if it was as you implied, that they just couldn't handle the way I laid it out, or if its "Ok she's his now, back off" -despite the fact that I told them all this wasn't the case. If the latter then going somewhere new may circumvent that. 'Course I dont have any friends there, the whole reason I go out where I do is BECAUSE I've got so many friends there. (started out with just the virgo, but since then I've made friends with everyone who goes regularly).

...also... I find it rather interesting that when I said (to the virgo), this would be fun to do more often, Idk, maybe once a week.. his response was "or more often." and I told him "I don't see any future here" and his response was "this could be fun as long as neither one of us gets attached/codependent etc". TBH I'm reading that as: he's worried about himself, not visa versa- which is really odd to me. Idk. As I said focusing on one is a recipe for me to get attached but I truly DONT see myself with this guy long term, but I don't want to rule out anything right now.. rather just let it run its own game, see what it is and where it goes.

What does that mean Dazed?






...come on you know by now you have to beat me with the obvious stick to get me to comprehend when its too close to home.

Ah I see Dazed. Thanks for explaining. Still leaves me with problem numero uno. Which I have yet to come up with a solution for. :/

Problem = I get attached, and then I go all scorpio-psycho on them. All the things people hate about scorpios? Yeah, uh.. about that...

If you aren't cut out for it, it'll show in your body language. I tried it too, it didn't work because in the end I like to take my time one at a time.

Although me telling guys " I'm seeing someone" seems to make them want to ask me out even more.

Well NotANewbie, I am naturally magnetic, charming, and very flirtatious. I got the magnetism and charm of a scorpio with the flirtatiousness of a sagg. Kind of a deadly combination. 😛 So, I highly doubt my body language changed at all. I'm like that to everyone, and always am if I'm feeling good. Only not like that when I feel crappy/depressed. So I don't think that explains it.

Posted by Skykomish
Well NotANewbie, I am naturally magnetic, charming, and very flirtatious. I got the magnetism and charm of a scorpio with the flirtatiousness of a sagg. Kind of a deadly combination. 😛 So, I highly doubt my body language changed at all. I'm like that to everyone, and always am if I'm feeling good. Only not like that when I feel crappy/depressed. So I don't think that explains it.

Uh...thats not the point I was making. Something in your body language was telling them that in the end , you just weren't OK with it. You just can't be what you are not naturally inclined to be.

"The sooner you stop focusing on finding a man, the sooner one will fall into your lap."


As a fellow gemini mooner, I can honestly tell you, thats unlikely. Men don't just fall into your lap. They come when they know you are looking.

Posted by Skykomish
Problem = I get attached, and then I go all scorpio-psycho on them. All the things people hate about scorpios? Yeah, uh.. about that...

i tried multiple dating for the same reasons as you sky...don't like myself when 'attached' and am not ready for that experience...it was EXHAUSTING!!! not just physically but emotionally and mentally too. dazed is right and even if you manage to juggle for a while, eventually, the 'natural order' prevails and you're left with one, or in my case, none LMAO.

it doesn't help that i have a memory of a goldfish and i would mix up pertinent information about them...small details like names, lol. so, if you decide to do it again, keep notes of who said what ffs.

the key to success is in not telling them about eachother. if it's not serious, they don't need to know anyway...although they do need to know it's not serious.

Posted by ellessque
you can carefully plan out things all you want, double checking all details, but if something/someone is supposed to cross your path or a situation is supposed to happen....there isn't a damn thing you can do to change or control that.

hmmm....this would be an interesting thread. i believe everything happens for a reason but even so sometimes, we don't see it...maybe the timing is wrong or we're distracted by something else but sometimes we just don't recognise what fate is pulling us towards and so the moment passes. like a 'sliding doors' moment in time.

Yeah well given the entire situation with the virgo, and the fact that we've been friends for a year, liked each other for a year... and neither one of us had the slightest clue until two weeks ago... definitely speaks to the "whats meant to happen will" thing. Wondering what the purpose is, since I don't see anything lasting here.. meant to have some fun? That seems so... profound... not. And yet, it is what it is. Interesting to see where this goes, at the least. Still completely boggles my mind that he likes me in the first place. I have thought *for a year* that he thought of me as a little sister (he is 38).. but I was apparently.. WRONG. *smh* Still working on getting my mind around this concept.

Are you a woman?

Wow my thread took on a life of its own. Oh btw, my truck just fucking died. In case anyone cares 😛

So, Dazed.. somehow we have to convince you, while giving you what you want, that you can't actually have it. And men think WOMEN are confusing!

lol Nice to meet you. Venus and Mars in Libra = HELL. So, I guess its nice to have kindred?

I don't really want this Virgo to go away... *grin*

Gemini men seem to LOOOOVE me. But I don't really like them except as friends. I have LOADS of Taurus friends, but thats all they end up being... friends. Despite the fact that they are my kryptonite. I also have a thing for Libras, but well.. that is always fucked up. Hmm.. Virgos are always around me too, which is weird to me, I've never tried anything with one till now, but I have LOADS of virgo friends. My mom is a Virgo and we get along like cats and dogs.. so I have been very "you can be my FRIEND, and that is ALL" with virgos.

TBH, I have had one of every sign as a friend and have either had a crush on one or one has had a crush on me. Those four I just mentioned are just the more common-happens more often type.

@Elle... shaddup. 😛 I will NOT end up like YOUU. Still keeping my thing for Taurus men 😉

I ♥ Dazed.

I ♥ Elle.

That is all; I have nothing to add.

I love you too Nefer. Unrequited love.. 😢

Posted by DazedScorp

Posted by Skykomish
Problem = I get attached, and then I go all scorpio-psycho on them. All the things people hate about scorpios? Yeah, uh.. about that...

Hun... My problem is getting attached and obsessing. So says Venus in Scorpio.

Your problem is that you're not focusing on making yourself happy first. Your Venus in Libra gets so caught up in trying to please your man, that it comes off as clingy and attached.

Utilize your Moon in Gemini, and go have some fun. Fill your extra time with things you love to do, rather than focusing on a relationship.

The sooner you stop focusing on finding a man, the sooner one will fall into your lap.

click to expand

Dazed posts something as amazingly insightful and spot on as this.. and someone challenges whether or not he's a woman? Read it -- he IS a woman, no doubt. Geez.

Posted by Skykomish
I love you too Nefer. Unrequited love.. 😢

Hardly unrequited. I love you toooooooooo ♥

Hehe. I've missed you 🙂 Yeah wtf Dazed? Most insightful "man" ever. Always has been since he joined this board.

Posted by DazedScorp
And plus...

"Men don't just fall into your lap. They come when they know you are looking."

We don't come when we know you're looking, because we want what we can't have. So... We come when you're not looking.

Whats the point though? If the woman doesn't want a relationship she won't respond. Then what?

Posted by LeoVirgoGirl
the dude cut me off, like threatened me and cut me off when I told him (as a friend/fkbuddy) that I met a nice guy who I think likes me...—

Maybe because he didn't want to be your "friend". Just fuck buddies? So he doesn't want to do what he would have done had he been your GF. That is listen to you. :/

By looking I meant being open to having a relationship.

"That being... He happy with yourself, do the things that make you happy, and be independent."

You seem to think that someone looking for a relationship or being open to one is somehow not independent. Thats stupid.

That does not make sense. You're assuming someone who is looking for a long term relationship somehow cannot take care of themselves. What the fuck do you think they are doing now if they are NOT currently in a relationship?

*rolls eyes*

You're circular logic works when men are looking for a good time girl. Someone who makes enough room for a short term fling. Relationships take work. A woman looking actively for it would be someone who is willing to make the effort. And she should be looking for a man who is willing to make that effort too.

So Dazed, how do I keep myself busy/ entertained without seeming disinterested? Lol. Fe, my normal routine is to go to the club I see him at every Friday, but this week is my other friands bday and my favorite local band is playing. Go to the club, or the party, or tuatha?

Also, he rescued me from my broke down truck just now..he likes me an awful lot..more than I expected. Its all over his body language. *blinks* still trying to get my head around it.

Also, he rescued me from my broke down truck just now..he likes me an awful lot..more than I expected. Its all over his body language. *blinks* still trying to get my head around it.

He wouldn't be able to come see tuatha. He is stand in dj on Fridays, runs the show weds. Its kind of a work obligation that he be there. Of course I may not be going to anything now I have no transportation.

@Elle. The cats in heat, and I've got a schoolgirls crush. We're a pretty pathetic lot.

He's Vir/Aries/Sco with Venus in Sco and Mars in Tau. No wonder.