SOCIAL MEDIA :/

I posted this on my facebook and surprisingly I got more male answers than females. Lol. I was shocked because men act like they could literally CARE LESS. Here’s the statement…

“Partners should not be friends or follow one another on social media.”

Agree or disagree…

(P.S if you don’t use social media, then this topic probably won’t interest you very much, but if you’re bored feel free)

I'm fine with them following me on most of my social media accounts as long as I trust and am comfortable with them. As long as they don't come pry and log into my account I don't mind. I don't have anything to hide but I don't want my privacy invaded either.

When I first date someone, knowing myself and how territorial i get when i really like someone im in no hurry to be their friend on social media because i get jealous and because i know i cant say anything i just delete them.lol. The other person gets mad though, and i dont want that.
When we are in a relationship if they have one i will request them just because i like to tag them in post and make inside jokes on my status that only "we" know are about each other. I dont request passwords, or go through phones. I did it once, and yea nope. Privacy is privacy for a reason.lol

Had one experience like this and it was...ummm...okay. I wasn't the one who wanted us to be facebook friends and he posted on my wall non-stop. The crazy part is that when we got into really bad fights, he would unfriend me. My current guy says that partners shouldn't be friends on FB. I can't say that I disagree with him and while I feel that he does have something to hide at times, it's social media. I see him face to face almost every single day. If he doesn't want to tell me what he tells his social media friends or share with me what he shares with his social media friends...I think that as long as it's not with malicious intent, it's ok. Sometimes it's good to feel single or get attention as if you ARE single, even though you're not.

I think that it's something that some of us have to gradually grow out of when we're so used to being single and choose to be in a partnership. It's like the difference between living in your own place and moving in together. You don't just meet and all of the sudden decide to move in together. You have to gradually get to that point. I'm not against this when it comes to social media.

Now, the thing that we DO engage in is that I'll be on Facebook and show him something from a friend's page or a status that I posted and he'll do that same. We read stuff to each other or show each other videos that we encounter in our news feeds all of the time. At least there is that transparency. Now, in regards to lurking, I have lurked on his page a few times and I wasn't necessarily disappointed with what I found. A little...concerned, maybe, but not disappointed. We're all weird and I think that having your FB page free from your partner's eyes is just one way of maintaining your individuality without feeling like the person who you spent most of your free time with is also all up in your social media life too.

However, there are some benefits to breaking into someone's FB account. I did that with my ex after we were living together for 2 weeks and that's how I found out that he had kids. He denied having kids to the entire world. I even met and talked on the phone with his mom and after I found out, she said that she assumed that he'd told me. That was like...a HUGE lie. The sad part is that he even told the people he worked with...everyone who didn't know that he DID have kids....he told them that he didn't. Pretty effed up and that definitely contributed to our final break up.

But...we WERE FB friends. So, I look at it like this...being FB friends with someone doesn't guarantee that they're going to tell you the truth. I think that any suspicious behavior whether it's FB related or not is reason not to put confidence in the relationship. Sometimes people need room/space to clear and clean stuff up. I think that if a person isn't pushing themselves or forcing themselves into your life while they clean up...that's fine, but what I experienced was my ex fully pressing me to combine our assets and lifestyles while he was hiding A LOT of stuff that needed to be cleaned/cleared up.

No bueno. smh