Update

I'm gonna make this as short as I can. I saw the now ex Scorp bf last night when I went to his place to pick up my stuff and it was the first time I saw him in almost 1 month. I wasn't expecting to be there long, but I was for over 2 hrs. He had all of my stuff packed up for me in 2 bags so all I had to do was sort through it to see what I wanted to keep. I kept my composure the entire time and didn't let out a single tear, which was EXTREMELY hard at some points. We had such amazing conversation the entire time I was there, about a lot of different things and it just felt so natural, not forced or awkward one bit. He was tearing up and crying for a good portion of the time I was there, but there were times when he laughed at something I said or smiled. It broke my heart to see how truly unhappy he is with his life right now. He is miserable at his job and is unhappy about other things too. He said he doesn't feel like taking much initiative with some stuff related to his job and when I asked if he's been going out much, he said no. When it came time for me to leave, I told him I should get going and if he ever needed anyone to talk to or ever wanted to get together, to let me know. I tried not to look at him because I knew I would cry, but when I did look at him, his face was bright red because he was crying and as he wiped tears from his face he said something along the lines of "this is harder on me then you" or "I'm in worse shape then you are" ... I can't exactly remember what it was. But I told him "no, trust me, this is way harder on me then you think." As I was walking out, he was still crying and said "take care of yourself." The second I got downstairs, I started tearing up and knew I couldn't leave. I went back up, rang the bell, and when he opened the door, my head was rested on the side and I told him it was really hard to leave right now. It was so hard to stand there, both of us crying, looking each other in the eyes, and not being able to do anything about it. I asked him if he was really going to let me walk away and he said something along the lines of "I have to right now." I also asked him if he could really tell me he has no feelings for me and it was either a yes or a no and he responded with "that's not a yes or no question." A few minutes after that, I left.

In the 3 yrs we were together, I have never seen him that emotional before. Part of me is kind of glad that I got to see it and that he wasn't stoic. But n

In the 3 yrs we were together, I never saw him this emotional at all and part of me is surprised he was or seemed more so than me. I guess I'm glad that he showed emotion and wasn't stoic, but now I can't get his face out of my head all teary-eyed and I'm left wondering if he's the one who initiated the break-up, why was he the one crying? I guess that's it, we??ll see what happens from here on out.

Well I am glad you got to see that he does care and this is meaningful to him. He let down the part of his wall that he could because you are special to him. I hope that gives you some comfort. Its hard, not knowing the answer to why....

Hang in there, keep posting here when you need to. We've all been there.

I guess maybe most things to me are black and white. If he cares and it's meaningful to him and he showed more emotion last night then he ever did in 3 years, why let me go? Is it possible that he's trying to convince himself that because he's unhappy with other things, he doesn't want to be in a relationship? Who knows. Maybe now isn't our time and maybe he really does need to figure things out, or maybe our time is done, who knows. I know I've said it before, but from the bottom of my heart, I want him in my life in whatever capacity. If I can only have him as a friend, then I will be the best friend I can possibly be to him. Ahhh, you Scorps drive me crazy! haha

After I left on Friday night, I had this over-whelming feeling that we aren't done for good. Everything that has been going on has proved to me just how much I love him and how much he means to me. I realize there is nothing I can do right now. I regret not saying sooo many things to him the other night and I don't know why I didn't. It hurts so much waking up in the mornings because I am overcome with all of this emotion and grief and can't get out of bed because I am crying uncontrollably. I'm really dreading Wednesday because that was supposed to be our anniversary. I put an alert on on his phone months ago that is supposed to go off on Wednesday morning that says "Happy Anniversary, I love you" ... hope he doesn't get mad when he sees it.

I should also say that this is all incredibly hard because I don't have any close friends to talk to about this. My best friend is in the process of buying a house and is getting married next month so I don't want to burden her with my issues when she has enough going on as is. Thank you all for letting me vent on here.

Posted by Virgo84
I know I've said it before, but from the bottom of my heart, I want him in my life in whatever capacity. If I can only have him as a friend, then I will be the best friend I can possibly be to him. Ahhh, you Scorps drive me crazy! haha

Be careful what you ask for or at least communicate to him. A Scorp will hold you to your request. Can you truly be content with only being friends? If so, wait a bit and try to be just that: a friend. He will respond well to that, but only if you can handle it because he may never be more again. If not, then move on and find someone that will want to be with you.

Holding on to a friendship with a man you're in love with but who doesn't reciprocate will NOT bring you joy. It is holding on and hoping....Ive been there. Let go....your only chance is to simply let go.