Venus in Scorp ex

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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Does anyone have any advice based on his chart on ways to get him to move on? Or shine some light astrologically on him as a person

I'd been with him for 6 years, we have a son, long story short he didn't want to settle or marry and spent all his time, money and energy on his social life. His family was NOT a priority. He had to know and control every detail of my life or we fought. He would cut throat, be cruel and mean until he won. Infidelity during pre marriage counseling. We broke up all the time bc he lied keeping so manu secrets about where he was or what he was doing and finally in Dec I ended it and started dating my Taurus ex. He went insane when he found out I was w someone else. He is volatile. He is angry. He says he wants me back. He is now trying take my son away saying that since I won't be back with him *i* am preventing our family being together so I should be punished and he should keep our son. We live in diff states. I had been a stay at home mom all this time.

He's made a Facebook, instagram and insists I accept his requests so he can see what I do. He is trying to infiltrate my entire life. He texts me and calls all day and night. He calls me nothing but names and goes on and on about how *i* refuse to be with him and am ruining his life. He called me crying last night - why wont i just be with him? This has been since March. I can't handle the stress, anxiety and fighting anymore. He suffocates and exhausts Me
??
Sun Sagittarius 4.25 ?? ??
Moon Taurus 25.40 ?? ??
Mercury Sagittarius 9.34 R ?? ??
Venus Scorpio 21.27 ?? ??
Mars Libra 18.49 ?? ??
Jupiter Aquarius 11.40 ?? ??
Saturn Sagittarius 1.09 ?? ??
Uranus Sagittarius 17.23 ?? ??
Neptune Capricorn 2.18 ?? ??
Pluto Scorpio 5.51 ?? ??
Lilith Taurus 19.46 ?? ??
Asc node Taurus 8.57 ?? ??
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R1g0rM0rT1s
@R1g0rM0rT1s
13 Years1,000+ Posts

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i hardly think she's being selfish elle!!

this is exactly what happened when i split with my ex husband...aries. he put a whole spin on the situation and it became me who was responsible for breaking up the family (we have 2 kids) and leaving him a 'broken man', despite being the one who had cheated 6 years prior and i had not been able to forgive.....although i tried for the sake of the kids.

it's slightly different in that i wasn't seeing anyone else. i'm surprised you went back with an ex as soon as you ended it with the scorp though.....that's a major 'fuck you' to any man.

you just have to ride this out i'm afraid. it took 18 months in my case during which time, he smashed up my house in front of our kids, spat in my son's face cos he was 'just like' me and stalked me 24/7...actually searching through my stuff when he looked after the kids while i worked. i could go on forever. i believe i did so when i first joined dxp 6 years ago, LOL.

any man in this situation is bound to have a meltdown. i don't know the circumstances of your split but i know that in my case, it wasn't all his doing by any stretch of the imagination...i accept my part in what went on.

i would strongly advise against seeing anyone else at this stage though. tbh, i don't know what you're thinking!!! you've got a child to consider and they need consistency and routine which has already been blown out of the water. is this ex taurus any more than a rebound? he's an ex too and so it implies he could become an ex again. if you ever want to get to a point where you can negotiate your split with the scorpio, you have to be single. it's not fair on ANYONE, including you.

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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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R1g-
Hmm thanks for the insight. 😢

Taurus wanted a commitment and I said I wasn't in the right place to do that, so he ended things and it sucked. Also, my son has never met or known I was with Taurus.

I flat out told Sag I was dating someone now. I don't want to lie. I was 110% faithful to him our entire relationship. I gave up every friend an all my family to be with him. He controlled everything I did at all times. He had all the money, wouldn't let me work bc he didnt want our son in daycare. I spent every day and night home with our son alone while he partied, cheated, drank, went on vacations w friends etc. i spent my nights callig around to try and find him! from the point he cheated til we finally ended things, I had spent that time letting go and was ready to move on. It took me a LONG time to get to that point of giving up. Even now I do wish things would just work BUT to be with him I have to literally give up my entire life again. And while I've been single and dated the Taurus and now a Scorp I see that there are people out there who will treat me with compassion, equality and sincerity. Sure, sag can be a good guy as long as I do and go along with everything he wants. If I say NO, he threatens me, is demeaning and rude --he will yell until I give in. And then he loves me again. 6 years of that! I'm literally just exhausted from the stress.
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BlueSandCacoon
@BlueSandCacoon
13 Years1,000+ PostsAquarius

Comments: 5 · Posts: 1069 · Topics: 15
Some astrology insight here...

His Sag placements neglected his family in favor of social life. That Uranus touching those planets and that Moon-Venus square seem to be what triggered his infidelity and subsequent break up.

Moon in Taurus finds it hard to move on. Even more if there are children involved. He needs his family back, but that's in conflict (square) with his Venus in Scorpio. He feels unappreciated because he lost control over you, so now he's angry and acting cruelly. He wants to punish you because of that. He's not likely to use physical violence (Mars in Libra) but he will use any other means to hurt you. Taking away your son seems to be his next course of action if he's unable to manipulate you.

Don't try to make him do anything. Protect yourself and your son. Get all the help you can to keep yourself together and fight.

Be well 🙂
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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Posted by ellessque
he's threatening and demeaning to you because you are obviously not acting like a mother.

you broke up with him....you then jumped to a taurus and now to a scorp.

...and you complain about his behaviour. you clearly need to check yourself.




We live 45 minutes away. It's been summer time and we have been splitting time with our son during the week since he isnt in school. I might not have him for 4 days. While I agree I need time to heal, recover, and work on the life I want for my son and myself- I dont think I'm any less of a mother because I have dated. And both the Taurus and Scorp are people I had known- friend of friend, aquaintance from school- I didn't just go out to a bar and hook up with someone. That's NEVER happened. I also do not mix my child into my dating life and don't plan on it anytime soon!
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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Posted by ellessque
Posted by Ariess
Whoa. I'm not saying I never want him to talk to me again. I mean, that he and I are over and we need to focus on parenting our son peacefully.



I disagree because if that was the case, you would have put more focus on your son on your first post than you initially did.
click to expand




When I wrote this I JUST ended a call with Sag where I asked to just be left alone! He made it sound like my son was calling so I answered but he just wanted to find out what I was doing and had done these few days. He has our son;he is a part of his life. I was focusing my post more on how do I get him to stop bothering me about our relationship. I tried not to write a book- with 6 years there's plenty to write- and I guess my lack of full details caused misunderstandings.
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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Posted by BlueSandCacoon
Some astrology insight here...

His Sag placements neglected his family in favor of social life. That Uranus touching those planets and that Moon-Venus square seem to be what triggered his infidelity and subsequent break up.

Moon in Taurus finds it hard to move on. Even more if there are children involved. He needs his family back, but that's in conflict (square) with his Venus in Scorpio. He feels unappreciated because he lost control over you, so now he's angry and acting cruelly. He wants to punish you because of that. He's not likely to use physical violence (Mars in Libra) but he will use any other means to hurt you. Taking away your son seems to be his next course of action if he's unable to manipulate you.

Don't try to make him do anything. Protect yourself and your son. Get all the help you can to keep yourself together and fight.

Be well 🙂



Hmmmm that's really interesting to know.
Thanks Blue
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Wynter
@Wynter
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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When I wrote this I JUST ended a call with Sag where I asked to just be left alone! He made it sound like my son was calling so I answered but he just wanted to find out what I was doing and had done these few days. He has our son;he is a part of his life.



Maybe your son wanted to know where mommy was and how she was doing? It seems like you think the whole relationship is about you.
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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Posted by Wynter
When I wrote this I JUST ended a call with Sag where I asked to just be left alone! He made it sound like my son was calling so I answered but he just wanted to find out what I was doing and had done these few days. He has our son;he is a part of his life.



Maybe your son wanted to know where mommy was and how she was doing? It seems like you think the whole relationship is about you.
click to expand




My ex was at work. Our son is with relatives. So no the call had nothing to do with our son wanting to talk to me BUT that is the exact reason I answered the call.
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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Posted by Wynter
Oh, so now the son is with relatives. God your story is so full of holes and backsliding that it's too hard to keep track.

Good luck to you



Holes? I said my Ex has our son. Which is true, he has him for the weekend and lives 45 minutes away. His family owns a large business so he works any day at any time. So our son was with his grandmother while ex was at work. I didnt know he wasn't with our son.
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Wynter
@Wynter
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Posted by ellessque
Posted by Ariess
Posted by Wynter
When I wrote this I JUST ended a call with Sag where I asked to just be left alone! He made it sound like my son was calling so I answered but he just wanted to find out what I was doing and had done these few days. He has our son;he is a part of his life.



Maybe your son wanted to know where mommy was and how she was doing? It seems like you think the whole relationship is about you.



My ex was at work. Our son is with relatives. So no the call had nothing to do with our son wanting to talk to me BUT that is the exact reason I answered the call.



you - hello?
him - blah blah blah....you are an idiot....blah blah blah....selfish bitch....blah blah blah *takes breath*
you - does our son need something?
him - no, blah blah blah...cuntface...blah blah blah
you - *hangs up*

him - *calls back*
you - *ignores call*

you - *texts* I would prefer you not call me unless we are discussing our son. thank you and have a great day.

*done*

and FOLLOW thru with it....unless you enjoy this kind of shit.

after a dozen or few times with zero reaction from you that feeds the drama....he'll get the point.
click to expand




lol!
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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Posted by ellessque
/a>


and FOLLOW thru with it....unless you enjoy this kind of shit.

after a dozen or few times with zero reaction from you that feeds the drama....he'll get the point.




Thanks Elle. It's true. I tend to just give in to pacify him. While i know we will never worki do love and care about him. He will always be my sons father and i want a good relationship for us all. His anger is his pain and even with his cruelty, I get caught up in wishing he could be at peace and be happy! so when He will call/text me all night long, crying and pleading - I give in. I know I feed his behavior by not being consistent. it's so hard.
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Ariess
@Ariess
13 YearsAries

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Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
yay to judgmental sunday!!! LOL!! every day is a sunday in my world 😄



Not that I want to hear it buuuuut be gentle. I don't have a clue what I'm doing in my relationships. I'm always interested to see how i am perceived or what others would do in my position.

And R1g sag and I spent all of 2011 breaking up, back together etc. My relationship w Taurus started in Jan, he lived a bit away and our schedules were always conflicting. Is dating two people in 9 months really that bad?

I don't have girlfriends to discuss these things. Just my mom and sis who are both Gems. I usually ask what they'd do and do the opposite.
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R1g0rM0rT1s
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Posted by Ariess


I don't have girlfriends to discuss these things. Just my mom and sis who are both Gems. I usually ask what they'd do and do the opposite.
click to expand




LMAO!! i have a gem sister too. i know EXACTLY what you mean!! 😄

btw...no-one can say if you're dating too many people over a given period...that's your personal choice and you don't have to defend it. it's just my own view that it's better to sort out things with baby daddies before getting involved with anyone else. for a start, you have another person involved in what is already a difficult situation and he's gonna have a view of it and there's no room for any other 'views' than yours and the sag's and that's primarily as parents.

i was personally so exhausted after such a long-winded and bitter separation that i had no room emotionally for anyone other than my kids. i also have a daughter and i think it's crucial that i teach her by example and the example i want to set is that a woman can be independent of a man and STILL be happy.

kids don't necessarily know what's going on but they feel the vibes and they detect things in your behaviour that you aren't aware you're transmitting. i just think that there being another man in the equation is not beneficial to YOU right now.
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R1g0rM0rT1s
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elle & scorched: you should try shopping in spain if you want to experience REAL rage!! they have this irritating habit of going to the checkout with one item and then trotting off on various missions to get the rest of their shopping while you're waiting in line. then they may have a chat with the cashier who is probably a cousin and they've clearly not seen each other for a while and so there's a whole BUNCH of things they have to catch up on. then the card used for payment will be declined and so they rummage around their plastic laden wallets and one by one go through the cards til one works. then they have to pack their groceries of course which is a universally acclaimed skill and requires precision and deftness.

and meanwhile........i am losing the will to live as i stand behind this ridiculous ritual with my carton of milk and the exact money to pay for it.

after living here for ten years, i have learned that resistance is futile. if you complain or even so much as glance at your watch, they will start viewing you with total incomprehension.

did you know that it is actually legal in spain, when driving on any road but the highway, to stop for no more than 5 minutes to chat to a passing family member? and when i say stop, i mean in the middle of the road and without warning. again, i have learned that it is pointless to toot your horn at these people cos they just look at you like you're a martian or something....this is my cousin paco ffs...i'm saying HI to him and i think you'll find i have a legal right to do that.

oh yeah....if you have anger issues, don't come to spain 😄
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R1g0rM0rT1s
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LOL @ you scorched. you reminded me of this old guy at a party i was at in england who's opening line of conversation was: 'hello. much crime round your way??'. lol. i was tempted to say 'there's about to be, creep' but didn't obvs cos he was old and that would've been mean and possibly stroke inducing.

you can have a firearm for hunting only but you have to apply for a licence. i grew up with guns and so i need to have my fix occasionally and so i go to a gun club which is like a golfing range but with fuck off guns rather than golf clubs, lol.

in the uk, guns are totally illegal and i don't even think you can get a licence any more. even airsoft guns are banned which is a butt pain cos my brother had a shop in london with the most amazing airsoft m16s and suchlike.

the crime rate in spain is pretty low compared with other european countries. most of the crimes here involve drug smuggling and there are occasional shootings related to that cos obvs those people don't give a shit about applying for a goddam licence!!

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R1g0rM0rT1s
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scorched: yeah, i'm from israel but i sound very british. unfortunately, we moved to one of the most fascist areas of london when i was 10 and so i had elocution lessons to rid me of my thick accent so the kids would stop beating me up at school, lol. sadly, i ended up sounding like a BBC tv presenter from the 1950's and the beatings got worse hahaha!!!

*sigh* what doesn't kill you......doesn't kill you.
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R1g0rM0rT1s
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i was like eliza dolittle after that elocution malarky but over the years, i developed a natural london accent. someone said my accent's like tony blair's. not sure if i'm happy with that. when i hear him speak i just wanna punch him.

i love the american accent. so much cooler than british although i believe you guys think the opposite is true. i guess you get used to what you hear around you and so when you hear something different, it stands out.

the sexiest accent i've heard speaking english was a russian guy. raaaAAAARRRRRRRR!!

i'mma go to sleepies now. night folks. don't know what the thread was about but it was FUN!!!

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R1g0rM0rT1s
@R1g0rM0rT1s
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jynja: i think it's a good thing to have a life that's been action packed, even if some of that IS drama. this is the kind of stuff that will keep us warm in our dotage...memories of having LIVED!!!

fuck. i may have to shoot myself now. my birthday's looming large on the horizon and i'm not liking the number. already obsessing about what kind of nursing home my kids are gonna throw me into.
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DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

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wow this sounds like a tough situation.

my aries bff is turned off from controlling behavior. i also know that sag men are direct in what they want. i dont always think that they make a great pair. ive always thought that both dont really like to play the submissive role. aries woman are very masculine and so are sag men.

mixed in with his fixed emotions about love and you and he doesnt know which way is up. he wants to wear the pants and be the man in your life and love his woman. you want a life and dont want to be only known as his woman.

you cant fault him for wanting to be apart of his sons life and his mothers life. consider the opposite? hes like the baby mama who always wants to get back together with her childs father for that family aspect and she still loves him.

in an attempt to regain some independence you may have made it felt like your taking alot of his roles away as a man or a provider. i.e. calling the shots, wanting to know where is woman or the girl he loves who he also has a child with.

you probably wont be able to move on until he has found a new obsession or love, but venus in scorp doesnt move on so quickly. they loved you.