Virgo in pain over Scorpio - help!

Til now 🙂 this site has been an eye opener on my Scorpio - and phoenix rising your posts are the best! - but I'm now struggling....after being strong for so long, finally, after one + half years, the pain has kicked in big time. My heart just hurts. Any advice out there?

12 months working for Mr Scorpio left us as 'soul-mates' - his words not mine. Work aside (best boss I ever had), privately, in the first month we sussed each other - went out a couple of times, month 2 I couldn't hold out any longer(!)- my place only, and month 3+4 he ignored me (although professionally we still got on great and it stayed that way the whole time I worked for him). Wasn't sure about him dropping me like a lead safe but let him get on with it. Fifth month he started showing interest again. As much as I liked it (relief!) I told him, unless he asked me out on a date, no more antics - these were now escalating in the back office! Up until I left (amicably for job with more money!)we just got more and more tactile - without going the whole way - really tough to say 'no' on occassions! Over the last 4 months, all I heard was 'We will do this, we will do that, I will take you out as soon as I've got this finished, ...that finished, the sky turns green and the grass blue.' Exhausting and frustrating..but I was patient. When I left the company, we spoke at least 2x a day by phone. Then I found out he was sleeping with his x after he had told me it was over 12 months ago. I confronted him and he never denied or admitted it. Finally, I had enough when I got feedback they were dating. I told him no more talk. I didn't speak to him for 4 months. 3 months ago I called him. Since then we have spoken at least 2x a week. He always calls me back - straightway.

He said he thought about me everyday in that 4 months silence. He started back on the 'we will do this, will do that' stuff and four days ago I let my frustration show. Can't understand why he doesn't want to see me. Not heard from him so I called - and going by his tone + manner my heart tells me this is finally it.

Have I overcooked the pudding? Should I recognise 18 months of no date is a sure sign it ain't/wasn't going to happen anyway?

The truth please you guys!

First off Virgo sufferer.....change that name my dear.

To be a sufferer infers that are somehow a victim which you certainly are not.....but of course, I understand, your feelings.......

Dont be the "forever chaser" as Virgosquared calls people who keep on chasing their loved ones who are on a lost mission! to the moon........

Change your name....Change your attitude......change how you see this man.....get your piece of paper out with pros and cons...write each down.....I think the con-list will be so much longer than the positive....then rip it up........sometimes we need to be boxed into reality.......the reality that the other doesn't want us.......is playing games.......and only then you open your eyes and "see" and feel relieved that it is all over...........pain is pain, rejection is rejection no matter how we dolly it up......this man is not for you.......but I think you already know that deep deep down.

Take care and good luck.

A x

Ooh Alana! Harsh but true. Maybe the slap round the chops I needed...but what of my heart? Is his behaviour not a Scorpio thing? He has always said he would show me in the end that what he says( consistently) is true - I am his soul-mate, he talks to no-one else like he talks to me. It takes him a long time to do everything (houses, cars, relationships). We do compliment each other. He says he feels relaxed round me and I know he puts me back on the road when my wheels fall off for one reason or another...and how about the shared confidences, the knowing you compliment each other, the physical chemistry, the laughter?

Do I just give up?

I'm sorry if I sound harsh....but bottom-line, if someone or somebody wants something or somebody, they will move heaven on earth to get it......no stone left unturned....life is too short for all this waiting around and huffing and puffing......he may walk the walk and talk the talk but his actions don't follow through........

Men will tell you what you want to hear...soul-mate...etc. only you understand him...they tell you what you want to hear to get what they want and you only listen to what you want to hear to fill your emotional needs - selective talk, selective amnesia!!!!......we all do it.......

Butdon't be persuaded by by me.....my pal.....make up your own mind.........in matters of the heart, miracles occur time and time and time again.......

A x

Hey Virgo S,

You're situation sounds similar to mine with a Cancerian man... I kept getting a not yet, not yet, not ready yet. Which, okay I can understand wanting to take things slow, but I wasn't asking for marriage, just a relationship, no dice. Then I started taking a look at myself, and what I was sacrificing for him, and why. After I took a good realistic look at the situation, I decided it wasn't for me. There just comes a point when you find you're putting way too much on the line for someone who simply will not appreciate you making yourself vulnerable to them. At that point, at least in my opinion, you have to take a look at yourself and decide if anyone is worth your putting yourself on the line just to be a doormat. My friend you're better than that. Not to say that you shouldn't feel for others, just for those who will appreciate you. And this guy doesn't sound like he does. I'm a scorpio, and it's true, in the beginning of a courtship, we don't really put it out on the line for others. It takes awhile before we decide they're trust worthy enough, and of course the chemistry has to work as well. After communicating, and finding there are beautiful similarities, not to mention attraction, it's not so easy, at least for me, to hold back. There's a lot that I'll keep to myself about myself, and that will come out in time, but as far as my true feelings for another, if nothing else, it can be seen in my eyes. I hate to say it VS, but it doesn't sound like this guy is serious about you, it might be a good time to walk away from the situation.
Good luck!! And Take care!!

Storm

Jeez! I AM a doormat! Had to stop myself calling him up this evening to check if I've upset him or not. Y'all stopped me...thanks.

...but it is SO hard to walk away. I have asked him to come clean and agree to be friends but he says we are more than that (ok, what I want to hear!). I'm not sacrificing anything - mental health aside!That Scorpio stranglehold! Know he appreciates me for the work I did - major development stuff. Suspect, with hindsight, he appreciates how free I was as well and later, my availability to talk on the phone (horrendous mobile bills!). I guess talking on the phone stops me seeing the truth in his eyes.

What you say makes sense. Bugs me. I know I'm better than the 'ex' (a manipulative Britney lookalike, 15 years younger than him, he says is bitter and the worst person he knows) but then I'm not conceited 🙂!

...still sad I can't work it out on the basis of it being Scorpio behaviour. Blindness in the eye of the beholder!

Finally (dumb woman speaking!) should I go for closure? I would settle for friendship.

Virgo Sufferer:

Learn to read face expressions and learn how to ask if something wrong. I'm sure he wont ignore you anymore.

Alana:

If people would not ignore stupid actions that other people do in front of them, and if we count it as a 1 penny for every time, we would be also millionarie. I'm pretty sure this person dont want to wind up stupid enviroument by telling all what you have to do.

Posted in wrong topic LOL!

Listen to Alana...Body Language is VERY important most people don't realize.

Cancerlady

hey VG..

we are going through the same emotions with our Scorpio's. Right at the same time. I have been going through the same dilma for a little over 2 years. Nothing much has changed with him nor has our soooooooo call relationship changed for the better...I am feeling youuuuuuu!!!!!!The question of being friends etc.... because emotionally or mentally you are not or the same page with him for whatever is going on with him?? Its part of their so many problems or private secrets...(they have many)It will drive you in sane.....He is not going to answer your anquish—? Trust me what I say....You will become frustated with his silent, you will think that you have lost your mind in being so expressive, and hopefully you will not start to believe that you are sooooo done with relationships because of him or you have made a terrible mistake.. It's not YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! It's bases on his trust....It's always's envolves the woman he was involved with before you....They do let go easy.......Truely I said, I know what you are going through and its not an easy pill to swallow. What else can you do—? NOT A DAM THANG....I hope in your case, I am totally wrong....But?? Let's talk ok......

VG if it makes you feel any better.... I am a well established woman, attractive and very independent... It has moved him yet..... Like I said, I feel ya!!!!! The Chemistry is surely there but he won't give into it. I have NO problems to bring to the relationship for him to deal with....What gives— I don't understand neither....I havent dated either...Why?? Because my feeling are real for him even thought he may not believe because—?? He hasnt called me out on any lies to him for sure, and I know he finds me to be very attractive, but then again, my independence may be a cuz for his distance. He may feel?? Why do you need me?? sugar you got your siht together.... It makes me wonder.... I need him because, I want to submit to him because he has a strength about his charactor that I have never had. If he will allow for the relationship to grow, I will give him my ALLLL!!! Are you feeling the same way——I truely LOVE HIM...I don't think he will ever believe me.....I am sad....

P.S. I have had a few typo errors./..Pleaaase don't get me twisted..Its time to cut these nails..NOT!!!Smile...they are real........I'll just have to proof read before I send........Smile Ladies, we all will get through it regardless......CG where are You—? she is good ladies, great support...and advice........aka kennyg