walking the tightrope

See, this is what I am not good at. So I ask all of you.

How do you remain supportive and not smothering?

Right now, Mr. Scorp has a lot on his plate. I totally get it. I totally get the need for space to deal with it.

But at the same time, I feel like if I just say, "Ok, go deal with this" then I am not being very supportive and it may be construed as I don't care.

Last night, he was visibly on edge. We went to dinner and then wal-mart and then he wanted to go home. So I said ok, but he looked so sad. I told him I'm sorry for what he's going through. And he asked me what I thought he was going through and I told him and he said "That's basically it."

I told him I want to be there for him but I don't want to smother him. I told him it was okay that he left but he didn't have to.

This is not something that is going to be over tomorrow either, it's a lot of big stuff going on.

I don't even know what to say. Not the kind of thing that I can say "It's all going to be okay" because it might not be.

None of it has anything to do with me or our relationship by the way. Just life stuff.

A warm hug, a genuine smile, and letting him know that you will stand beside him through whatever life throws at him ... is all he needs.

A Scorpio doesn't really NEED a person to actively participate in helping them ... they only need to know that you are standing right next to them in the trenches, and that they aren't alone.

Thanks for all your comments.

You're welcome, dear Capgirl 🙂

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by capgirl69
None of it has anything to do with me or our relationship by the way. Just life stuff.

but indirectly your relationship might suffer...

basically everything has been covered through the other posters - especially p-angel hit the nail on the head with her description of scorps not really needing a person around them. they need the reassurance, yes.

idk what else i could contribute other than just remain to be yourself. send him signs of affection in between that mean something to you both. like a song. a special word. random thoughts that would make him smile 🙂

it's a thin line but not unwalkable.

wishing you much patience 🙂

click to expand

See, this is how I feel, totally. I have the sense that I am at a make-it or break-it point, not to be dramatic, but it's the kind of thing people look at, think about later, and say:

"She was so ________ when {this happened}."

It could go either way.

She was so "great" or she was so "distant/cold/clingy/smothery".

Just the way I am, I can be so far to one side, one way or another. I have such a relaxed attitude all the time, it does get confused with not caring. Or I can get so over the top with trying to comfort the person that I end up coming off as needy or I drive them crazy.

Thanks again for all the advice everyone.

Nice thread..

Nice to see P-angel actually be NICE for once too (Since I've joined DXP).

I have major life shit goin on too right now. So much stress! Started a new job, living situation blows ass also had a bad health scare Etc. I catch myself projecting some negativity onto my Cap GF. So we are going through the same things you are. Just Be Available! Big Hugs with back rubs. When my girl says "I got your babe" or "I'm not goin anywhere, I'm here for you" it almost makes me wanna cry. To think I actually have someone that's got my back 100% . If your driving. Rub the back of his neck, walking around rub his neck and just talk in circles about how you got his back! With whatever pet names you guys have. & kinda leave him alone on his days off and times like that. My girl wants to be with me more through this when I kinda want space. Cause I sometimes feel like dog shit and don't want to mess up our relationship cause I'm feeling bad. That's why we need space sometimes. We know were in a bad head space and don't want to project BS! So coming from a warmed blood Scorpio male goin through same shit now. Let him know your his ride or die chick!

Sent from my HTC. Excuse the typos

Posted by PP
I have major life shit goin on too right now. So much stress! Started a new job, living situation blows ass also had a bad health scare Etc. I catch myself projecting some negativity onto my Cap GF. So we are going through the same things you are. Just Be Available! Big Hugs with back rubs. When my girl says "I got your babe" or "I'm not goin anywhere, I'm here for you" it almost makes me wanna cry. To think I actually have someone that's got my back 100% . If your driving. Rub the back of his neck, walking around rub his neck and just talk in circles about how you got his back! With whatever pet names you guys have. & kinda leave him alone on his days off and times like that. My girl wants to be with me more through this when I kinda want space. Cause I sometimes feel like dog shit and don't want to mess up our relationship cause I'm feeling bad. That's why we need space sometimes. We know were in a bad head space and don't want to project BS! So coming from a warmed blood Scorpio male goin through same shit now. Let him know your his ride or die chick!

Sent from my HTC. Excuse the typos

See... after reading this..it makes me fel a LITTLE bad for not checkin in on my Scorp, but HE's the one that pushed me away...when he's ready he knows his way back.

feel*