When scorpios feel overwhelmed and scared....

is it better to leave them alone for a while until they sort things out on their own or would staying in touch here and there help them to feel reassure some more?

me and my scorpio finally had a serious talk about where our relationship is heading before she gets back. i sent her one long message...and she is sinking in, but feeling a bit overwhelmed, because in it i mentioned my fears as well and things we will have to overcome...and i also gave her the chance to step out if she feels it those reasons are enough reasons to keep us apart. why did i do that? i don't know, just to make sure i know where she is stands and as i way to protect myself i gues... i wasn't cold or anything, just sincere but also very open to any outcomes...

i feel like sending her text messages to remind her that i am thinking of her while she processes through this, because i know it is a lot and it pretty big...but i don't know if she will value me more giving her complete space or rather me being still caring in short messages here and there inspite of everything that was said and that she needs to consider.

thoughts?

eden,

thank you so much...she did mention that she is afriad of the dating process and that she doesn't want to run. I wonder if bringing up such big subjects will even add more to her already existent fears....but I wanted to be honest with her. I have been patient with her throughout her own fears and was there to encourage her, I am hoping that she wil be understanding with me now and not get more scared but stand up and fight for us...but we shall see...

The thing with my scorpio and I (by the way, I love saying "my" scorpio, even though that has yet to happen) is that we come from very different backgrounds so we would have to wait for a while before I met her super conservative family... We come from different worlds. So I know this is a heavy and big issue for her. I have been standing strong and encouraging this far, even in my message, but I also decided to bring up my own concerns for the first time because I, too, have to know that she is up and ready for this...I don't want any games or something casual. I really and genuinely do like her AND on the other hand I do want her to be happy...if I cant bring that sort of happiness to her right now for whatever reasons, I'll be honeslty internally devastated, but I will at least know that she couldn't do it and that she didn't have the strentgh to walk with me through all these obstacles we will face...

I don't know why I do this to myself, bring up the hard stuff when I like someone, I honestly think is a way to also run on my own way and protect myself, just like you guys do with your over analyzing...I just do it by throwing hard subjects out there to see if someone can stand up firm and fight for this with me....

I'm afraid, eden, that she might come back and say...'I just can't do it'...once she realizes that I too have fears or that I too am aware of the hardship this will bring....or because she thinks I am giving up, which I'm not....hopefully she will respond at some point with encouraging words for us, but if she isn't ready or cannot do it because of the heard outside circumstances, then at least I will know...and perhaps never let her know that I was falling for her so that I, too, can be safe.

let it be, eden, dytryn, and sayawhat...

she responded the very next day...

these were some of her words (im posting them below) and now i don't know what to do...

"I'm overwhelmed and I know you're not trying to pressure me. We aren't even serious and I want a break already, to think, to just be alone. I feel commitment creeping up on me and I just get shivers."

She also said that I am what anyone would ever want and that she likes me....but she brought up a list of reasons too, including how she should be a better person, for what she isn't ready to be in serious relationships right now...whatever that means.

My world crashed down a bit last nigth friends.

I knew, deep inside that my email was going to be big for her, but I was hoping she would be strong enough to see through my fears and be willing to encourage me to and walk with me...

I am willing to take things slow....but I don't want her to think that I'm accomodating just for her....I just thought she wanted commitment from my part and so I was willing and have been willing to give that to her....that is all I needed, nothing huge.

I texted her trying to let her know that I have tried to pull away too through the message but that it didn't feel right to end things this way...and then everything she said was so confusing....like the fact that she was pushing away because that is what she does and yet how she had thought about it for a while and this wouldn't be fair to me...and how she has some cleaning to do....in herself.

Sigh.

I don't know what to do guys. I texted her and took a deep breathe and told her that if that is what she wants then that I would let her go then...but that I will miss her terribly....

Yet today, I had to ask time off from work, I feel a bit sick maybe...this really was worst than I ever imaged. I should have never sent her that long message telling her such heavy stuff...she couldn't take it...but I still like her so much...

Should I keep on staying silent now?

She is coming back to the city next week...should I try to see her?

My friends said I should. I almost drove all the way where she was at last night to let her know...to see her, but she is with her family and they don't know about us yet.....and somehow she talked with one person and I imaging things didn't go so smooth, because like I said, we come from different worlds....

Should I give up now friends? Give her few days, say anything more?

thanks ladies...

i have considered going to see her tomorrow, but i am thinking about it stiil....i wanted to show her that we could do this, talk to her face to face, bc there are still many days ahead if i wait.

however, i'm going out for new year's eve tonight and i think this weekend could be a time of self-reflection for me as well.

i know my heart is in pain right now...i know i have feelings for this girl....this isn't something i am thinking as much as what i feel....so its very scary too.

my hope is that either these feelings will fade away or not for her...if they dont then, i willl meet her and try to see how i can still be part of her life inspite of all the mountains we must claim together, but if they fade (which i doubt) or if my logic overpowers my feelings because she does not react or makes any effort next week...then i hope i can be fair to myself and move slowly....towards something clear.

happy new year!! thanks so much for your good thoughts!

best to just let them be, and even if you try to be ther if they have taken the task upon themselves, they will still push you away(not meant to sound a bad as it did)

thats my exp. with 'em, i had one that reached out to me but when i tried to help she pushed me away, mixed signals like a mutha but she was a bitch ssssssssssooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i aint have a problem lettin her solve her own issues

ladybug and pride,

thank you!

the more i think about it....the more it feels like i should wait.

i do have the fear that if she stays at home all this time she will become even more afraid alone because she has no other influences to let her know of us and that we can do this...

BUT

maybe this actually will be a time for her to really realize that she wants me in her life still....and that we could work this out and get through this.

i did go out last night...fun times. a girl who i know was super nice and told me clearly that she likes me as soon as she found out i was on a break with the scorpio girl....and there were other ppl there too... i just couldn't do it.

i must be transforming into a mature person or something because i was loyal to my heart, not only because i am 'dating' someone....but because i have feelings for her....and it just didn't feel right nor honest to try anything with anyone. who knows what the scorpio girl did last night, who know....but that doesnt mean i have to compromise who i am becoming.. last night was a huge lesson for me, a lesson of letting your hear be authentic, no matter what, and to do always what feels right and honest. yes i might not have had much action or even a midnight kiss, but you know...it feel so good to be real and honest with myself about how i feel right now 🙂 maybe i am growing more in that area...

ladybug162,

thank you so much for sharing a bit about your experience. i just wish i could go see her today....but our situation is complicated because she is with her fam and they dont know that she has been dating me for months yet....and i also am a bit unsure and guarded now because i never met someone who cared for me so much and yet cut me completely off for days.. i have the strength to deal with this, the objectivity necessary, but it is defenitely something new....so i just wish i knew what i could or should do.

however, if i dont go see her (although i want to sooo bad) maybe i can take this time to also rethink about everything...what will be safe for me from here on, the extent of the commitment i also can give even if we do work out (by comitmment i dont mean loyalty but time and effort).
this event hasn't been easy....i wonder how she feels. i wonder if this is way easier for her. if yes then i shouldn't even bother...if no, then we might still have a chance and be able to work something out soon.

i guess only time will tell....

scorpio women require a shitload of patience and god's understanding to break, if you plan on breaking her down. Now what i have learned is they will be back if they choose to, i have one who calls out the blue but i just said fucc it cuz of what all happened, i got to thinking about alot of ish and decided it aint worth it


BUT she was, why? cuz when i was on my ass she was there alot more than she needed to be and wouldnt fucc wit anybody i hated which is why i wont give up on scorpio women just that one lol cuz that bridge is just too damaged

If you think its worth it the best thing to do is give her space, and be glad she aint got a saggitarius venus, those scorpios pull more than any

thanks for your replies!

eden and satori,

when you tried to sabotage your relationships...were there ever cases in which you liked the person so much or so genuinely that you couldn't? i just wonder if this sabotage process if always successful for you all... also how do people know when you guys need space vs. a heroic move to not let you go? you mentioned how your friend did everything right but making you realized that you missed him when he was gone....but i guess my concern is that since we were already dating her feelings were invested....and i dont want her to think that i dont care or that i am leaving her either. but after all those confusing message i did email her and gave her possible options for us to work on something....i told her to take whatever time and space she needs and that i will be here when she is ready to talk, but i also mentioned the possibility of meeting once she gets back to talk to see if we can see each other one last time (if we decide to go on our separate ways) or to talk about a possible ways to work something out....do you think she would run for a conversation like that? if so, would it still be worth to even still talk to her? i know processing about hard stuff such as feeling might be hard for scorpios...especially the commitment-phobe types, but i don't know what else to do you know?

my hope is that she will care enough or be strong enough to want to meet again, regardless of what scary things she might have to say and that she will know one last time that i am not the one who is giving up but that i will understand if she can't do this at this time...in which case, i dont even know if i should stay as a friend or not in her life (considering i like her) and i am willing to perhaps try casual dating, but i want to make sure she doesnt see it as me compromising, but rather as me making an effort to give things a try...because i don't think our fears should stop this so soon...

thoughts?

hyptonic and pride,

thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts. so very true about the push and pull effect...
this is my first time ever dating a scorpio girl. i had met others who were interested in me in the past, but i hadn't reciprocated that until now...it is amazing how good the chemistry and passion can be and yet how unpredictable and confusion things can be at times. ill keep you all posted. thank you!

normally

Posted by XFoosMe

Posted by Loved-Up Roxi

truthseeker sounds like a man that is near the bottom of his despair. 😢

Nah...I think hes got it all under control. He seems to have the perfect blend between his love for this woman and his love (and concern) for himself.

click to expand

xfoosme -

thanks for the encouragement! 😉 i am doing just that. acknowledging my questions and concerns here, but also taking care of me. i am not, by no means, someone who would forget about the goodness of life just because someone is running away to enjoy it with me... i like her so much, but i want her to find the peace and strentgh she needs. i know i made one mistake...and i learned my lesson from it, but i also know the mistake (a long email) shouldnt have stopped this the way it did...clearly she had some fears and i wanted to help her out, but it is really hard at the distance and whenever someone shuts you down completely... she knows that i have been nothing but good to her, she knows i am been super loyal, and she knows i have respected probably more than most people...she also knows that we could be wonderful together, and she knows a future for 'us' would be amazing not matter how hard. BUT if she wants to deal with other issues, test other waters, or do what she is used to...well...i hope she finds what she needs because i wish her well and i dont regret anything we shared. it was beautiful, but if she doesn't show any more care, even at a friendship level, then i don't know what else to do but to wish her well and move on with my life.

love_up roxy -
thanks for sharing your story. that poor guy...that defenitely won't happen to me. i would't be hanging on/waiting on a person for a whole year, unless i had lost my head, haha, maybe he did. but i understand love...a bit, maybe i tapped into it, but for me it takes time to build the depth necessary to know for sure that i love someone.
i was crazy about this girl, but i dont know in what way yet. all i know is that we had chemistry, but if she remains silent forever and doesn't want to remain in touch then it will mean none of that was real and it was all a spur of the moment for her, while for me....everything was real and authentic. you always learn new things youknow and something in me tells me she did feel these things too and maybe one day she will

eden,

i sent one message to her just to see if we will talk or not anytime soon...something casual, because i wanted her to know that im still here willing to bene work at a friendship level, that was my last attempt, if she doesn't respond sometime soon, then i will know she is either with someone else or just never cared, which means its not worth it anymore...but if she does respond then maybe the story was real and might continue in whatever good notes. thanks for the good wishes!

thank you xfooseme. what you said makes complete sense...and i appreciate the understanding.

she's back, we texted only once...i get the feeling that we are leaningg towards casual dating or friendship (i havent decided yet nor not what she thinks) we might meet once i get back from my trip..maybe, i am also trying to think about it all now.... i'll keep you posted!