Where did I go wrong?

Hi all,
I am new to the boards and was browsing before I decided to join. Very good information being shared. I wish that I would've come here sooner. :-)

Well, my story may be a bit long and I would like input from BOTH Scorpio Males as well as females.

Okay, I am a Pisces female and I must admit that my previous relationships with Scorpio men were very wonderful experiences. I fell in love with Scorpio men.

My most recent encounter has been with a younger Scorpio male that I found to be very attractive. Now here is where it all started. I was recently out a of relationship that still had a few loose ends that I was tying up and cutting off.
I explained this to my new Scorpio friend. I assumed he understood because he said he didn't want to cause any further problems.

Well, he and I both were aticipating on meeting up and hanging out. He first wanted to catch the train to my job and ride home with me so that we could hang out. Unfotunately, I wasn't able to make that date and advised him that wasn't a good time. We needed to reschedule. Another time came where I was out at the time getting something to eat and told him that I wished I could see him right then because I wasn't in the best of spirits. He doesn't have a car, but was like... I'll be right there. I told him that right at that moment wasn't a good time, let me go home and then after that I would pick him up, which I did.

We spent a wonderful time together. He was so gentle and kind and so affectionate. I melted for him. We just clicked. After that, we were trying to make plans to get together again when I noticed me kept saying that I didn't tell him everything about what "exactly" I was doing the first two times we had to hold off our meetings. I decided, okay if he wants full details I guess I could give them to him since now that we're working towards something "tighter", I know he'll understand. Well, I explained to him that I was ending and cutting ties with a BAD friendship/relationship that I no longer wanted in my life. I need to do that because I didn't want to mix the two relationships together and start with him on a new slate. Well, my "complete" details were then used against me as "hiding" things from him. I honestly, didn't intentionally try to "hide" anything from him. I just didn't think that I needed to include "every single" detail as to why we couldn't meet at those exact moments.

(Will contine in next post)

from this one it sounds like..You don't OWE him any kind of details...He is not your boyrfriend he is someone you would like to start something with and it's only been two days. He needs to relax, he doesn't OWN you ...yet...lol but continue...

"I noticed me kept saying that I didn't tell him everything about what "exactly" I was doing the first two times we had to hold off our meetings. I decided, okay if he wants full details"


LOL! OMG, the scorpio detective! Ya, ok if you can deal with that, then u're ok. I withhold some info still from my scorpio, I mean fffffffffffff they don't need to REALLY know, who you're with, what you ate, wore, blah blah...

My scorp told me i can't wear a bikini while he's gone! haha, I told him i bought a g-string as a joke & he shut up pretty quick!

Continued-
Well, I thought we were past that issue because we met up again and we had a wonderful time together. Everything was great. He didn't once mention our previous discussion.

Okay, well this past weekend, we talked on the phone and he brought up that I "hide" things from him. It really irritated me and made me upset. We went over and over the same details as before and I asked him why was it that he was using the exact thing that he wanted "full details" on against me? He also mentioned something about me leaving him for people in my past.. etc. I was so cnfused. I explained to him that for me he was like a breath of fresh air and I enjoyed being around him and my past was my past and I wasn't trying to bring that into our new friendship. He wouldn't give me a chance. He already had hung me. It upset me so bad because I thought what I did was right. He said that he likes me, he wanted to have more with me but I "hide" things from him. So, he ended up saying he just wanted to be friends, nothing more. I wasn't trying to hear that. I wanted to continue on the path that we were on. He was so cold and noting like the person I was with.

Well, if any of you women know... when you meet someone online even offline, when we go out, we provide one of our girlfriends with a persons name and phone number for safety precautions. I gave my friend his name and number just for emergencies and I didn't mention it to him. WELL, after my being upset my friend called him to see what was up without my permission. He blasted her and then me for not letting him know that I gave her his number. I tried to explain that it's just something that we normally do and she wasn't supposed to call unless it was an emergency. He wasn't trying to understand the reason as to why I even ever gave her his number. He went all into me not trusting him and everything. This was done before I had even met him and if I didn't trust him, why would I be around him like I was. There was no explaining. After that, he said he didn't want to deal with me at all because once again I was "hiding" something from him.
It just seems that he thinks I'm out to hurt him. I would never do that. I really liked him. He seems sooo angry and he uses everything against me like it was all intentional. He uses double standards as well. He gets upset with me when I couldn't make a date, but when he told me we would hang out and then he cancels. I didn't get upset with him

When I brought this to his attention, he got really mad and was like... we don't need to talk anymore and you have a good night. I called him back and left him a message telling him that I will not contact him anylonger as he wishes.

This was crazy and stressful for me. I liked him a lot and wanted more, but this was truly an emotional roller coaster.

In my opinion (i'm not a scorpio..a gemini) But this guy really needs to let loose...I think you did do the right thing, You guys aren't together yet, and not even that close to it...so he needs to get a grip on reality. You didn't do anything wrong, You were actually nice enough to let him in on the information about your situation THAT IS ENDING AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. Dont get your feelings hurt he sounds like he's playing games.

He gets upset with me when I couldn't make a date, but when he told me we would hang out and then he cancels. I didn't get upset with him


HeadGames.

When I brought this to his attention, he got really mad and was like... we don't need to talk anymore and you have a good night. I called him back and left him a message telling him that I will not contact him anylonger as he wishes.



I wouldn't call him anymore...If you still want to try and be with him, wait for him to call you. You did enough, he knows where you are if he wants to contact you.

You didn't do anything wrong! What you had was an insecure scorp on your hands, and those run a dime a dozen... What it sounds like to me, his jealousy consumed him in that instant that you were straight with him... Because of that, he decided he would sting before he got stung. Well, chalk it up to this, at least you know now that he's an insecure dork, instead of getting too involved in things where it would've really burned. He's not worth your time, he flipped out over jealousy and that's it..
Still sounds like you have those loose ends to tie, you have time to do that now, and when the next guy comes around you'll be ready.
Best wishes!
Storm

Thanks for the reassurance. I feel so much better because I truly thought that I was handling the situation as it should've been handled, I just wanted to see if others understood where I was coming from because he so bluntly would say "No, I don't understand" and I was thinking... it's really not that complicated.

Thanks again! :-)

"1. You still hadn't completely finished off you old relationship and led him on without telling him. It is not worthless information and needs to be clearly stated at least after you realise he was really keen on you. Who knows, the old flame could have rekindled and that could've been a messy embarassing situation. After he realised that you cancelled meetings because of this, he probably felt like a pawn piece... lets just say that that's isn't his favourite."


This was something he knew. I told him this up front. I didn't hide it fom him. He decided he still wanted to know me. That choice wasn't forced. All of this happened BEFORE we even met for the first time. It is possible in certain situations that an old flame may rekindle, but this was a very negative situation that he and I both talked about it and I knew I had to remove myself. It wasn't a boyfriend, it was a bad friendship with a male. I didn't mislead him. We were both keen on one another from our first meeting and I made him very aware of it. He decided to continue to bring up amd hold onto the info that he dug for and use it against me after we had put it behind us. If he was trying to be a friend, why would he do that instead of truly being a friend and grow from that and take the time to get to know me before passing judgment?

"2. Come on admit it, you gave out his contact details to your friend because you had your doubts. I know I wouldn't like me contact details to be shared for no real reason. If you didn't fully trust him at the time you should just admit it, no point being reactive and denying it coz it makes you look worse."

I gave out his contact info to my friend because being a single woman that lives alone in state where I have no family, it's the smart thing to do. This is something I hope that MOST single women do when they go on a first date with a person they do not know. At least someone knows who they were with last. Like I told him, for me this is normal procedure and I failed to mention it to him because once we were together, we both were so into each other, that was FAR fetched from my mind. I brought him to my home... you don't do that with a person you don't trust. I did trust him, my friend got his contact info before the first date.

I possibly could've done things differently, but I've never had anyone to respond this way and turn things that can be talked out and worked out into something so major.

My mouth went dry everytime

You didn't do anything wrong, so I wouldn't let his behavior have you questioning yourself. He sounds like an insecure Scorpio who is still unsure of himself. If he was secure with himself, he would have no problem with you trying to sort out your past so that you can clear a new path to be with him. You did the right thing by ending it now before his insecurities got out of hand.

Just a little advice: I would reiterate to your friend what true "emergencies" are. It's understood she meant well but, geez! She got you busted out there!

You did absolutely nothing wrong and any gentleman would understand why you gave someone you know well and trust his contact info - to be safe. If he were truly a gentleman he would have completely understood that.

I agree with everyone who mentioned his jealousy being all-consuming; I think that's exactly what happened. And he needs to grow up. I don't think there's anything wrong with jealousy if it's in moderation and you're in a real relationship...but you weren't even in a real relationship with him. And so if he's going to act that way it's better that you saw it so quickly instead of wasting too much time on him. It sounds like he has a lot of maturing to do. Be confident in the fact that he's a freaking weirdo and you did all the right things.

*Forgot to mention that the friend who called him should not have done that...I'd choose a different friend next time 🙂

I'd have issues with the giving out my number though but thats not due to not trusting or anything emotional,thats my privacy that you just handed over to a stranger to me.Its illegal to open someone elses mail,phone numbers aren't any different.The whole dating people you don't know can be avoided also.Giving out phone numbers won't save you in most cases,it'll only catch your murderer after the fact.Its not any safer without knowing how to defend yourself😉Take martial arts or the like,hand guns and knives generally get used on thier owners so no to them unless you know how to physically do other things(like martial arts self defense)🙂


For the rest though,I agree with the others.He needs some growing up to do to know what actual "hiding" things mean.Falls under teenagers version of so-called drama in my book.

Hi all, well I'm back and I wanted to share an email with you all that I sent to my Scorp friend that I mentioned in this post after I read his blog. He accused me of "hiding" things when I explained everything to him that was going on with me... but what I read opened the door for me to send him the following email.

And I was hiding things from you—?.........

[i]?Seems as if one female I've known for about 3 years now is finally in a relationship, but would rather be secretive about it and not want to tell me of it. She claims to have feelings for me, but never takes the initiative to call or try and spend time with me. It seems as if she wants to tell me what sounds good, but as I always say, actions speak.....well you know the rest.

I try and try to not let it get to me, but it seems as if she wants to play with someone emotions, but why choose myself? I try and be there for her. We both have busy schedules, but she loves to say that she doesn't like to call people, only speaks to people if they were to call her. So I would leave occasional messages, possibly a text, but I only hear from her I guess whenever she is just bored and decides to answer the phone.

I mean just this past weekend she went out of town and kept her phone off the whole time, for what reason, who knows....But when she gets back in town, she now wants to try and see me like I'm supposed to jump whenever it is pleasent for her. So when I told her how I felt about the whole situation, she becomes all defensive and resorts to having to curse as if I'm disrespecting her when nothing of the such was said!?[/i]

You never told me that you even had a friend that was close to you like this. You knew about mine, why didn?t I know about yours?

It doesn?t even matter at this point, I don?t care because now I know what you?re about and the type of person you are.

You like to flip the script and place the blame on the person that was actually showing you attention and wanting to be with you.

I felt bad and thought that I was in the wrong, thanks for helping me to understand that I wasn?t.

It has been said that when a person accuses you of something, they are actually doing it themselves. Point proven above.

See you soon with my book.

Well, the BOLD and ITALIC didn't work...

What I quoted from his blog starts with Seems and ends with said!

Everything else I wrote. Sorry about that.

I agree with everyone else. I am a female Scorpio myself and he was quite the insecure one! Sheesh he didn't even give you a chance before he flew off the handle. It happens. He just has to find himself and grow up.

He may come around then again...

i would say the insecure ones, but the more mature guys...don't really have that problem...from what i've seen anyway.