APOLOGISING TO TAUREAN.

Taurean and i brokeup but things are still hanging.

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/taurus/confused-taurean-5296495/#5300811<BR>
Pleas read the first two posts here... for more...

I was really down day before and was bawling in my room and decided against going to college yesterday. So he texted and asked me why and asked if i was fine, i said i was low and he said it will get better, dont worry. Then he suddenly said something my dad said ( the night before my dad kept telling me to ask my ex to ride me to internship thrugh a different more safe route and i said we will maage, my father goes if you dont tell him I will speak to him, so while my ex was asking about why i hadnt come he mentioned tomorrow we will take this new route) and suddenly i was like did my dad speak to you, i kept asking and he kept joking around and saying maybe maybe not. And im like can you please just tell me ( because I was looking at it from the point of view that " WHY DID MY DAD INTERFERE" and like call up my friends and stuff ) and this taurus man of mine kept joking around when i was asking him upfront. So i said wow my father did speak to you. An he goes woman stop assuming you have made your life hell by assuming before blah blah... and i lost it and said im asking you one question. My father threated to call you last night and now when i ask you , you dont answer ho else do i get answers? and he just said cam down you are safe. After that I called my dad and he said "yes, i spoke to him." I lost it and told my dad why, and he goes if you dont, go by cab for work. So i replied Okay i will. And told my guy Im taking other means of transport.


And he goes OVER reaction. anyway I am no one to say. So i replied saying YEAH to the over reaction. and he goes listen I dont care okay... and i said wow you dont care ? And he goes yeah, because you just said Im no one in your life.

I said i havent said a thing apart from the fact that my father was interfering and maybe taking a different route to travel. You said the whole assuming thing, overreaction thing and that you mean nothing and you dont care.

This guy then says " i said it with 15 mins interval" i said so ? and he goes listen i have made a grievous mistake. I shouldnt have initated a conversation asking you how you are, but I am stupid I care for you. Even in the relationship I do anything sweet and it alway led to something. I hate miscommunicating with you. WHy does it always happen with you that the

there is a miscommunication. ( he meant about the "yeah" to the meaning nothing part) so I called him up and said listen Im sorry, i dont want my dad to interfere thats all. he said your dad has said something and i want to respect that. I said okay can we make no other arrangements because in the different route we wont be able to have fun and talk as much ( i was crying a little by then) and he just didnt speak. So i said okay nevermind. Leave it.


Then I message a quick short apology for the misunderstanding.

He said, i stand by what I said I dont care and Im glad i dont. I dont want to come in between you and yur dads fights. So i said thanks.

And he asks are you coming with me tomorrow then ? I said just give me time to think please. And he goes yea yea not a problem.


Later at night i messaged him saying " i enjoy the ride to our internship, so i would really like to come with you, i hope that is fine by you... and he said yup.


My problem here is

Have I pushed him over ? I was doing so well, no fights all calm so far. I was the patient and cool one, and he still has feelings for me. but will this change that?

have i proved it to him that our relationship will continue to suck if he comes back —

I felt terrible, he is wrong for things he brought in during the course, but i felt responsible for starting it.


So i went and got him this how i met your mother ( which he lovesssssss) cartoonised poster as an apology gift and nothing more.

Im thinking of apologising and saying" im sorry i hurt you, i was really in a bad state and couldnt come to college either and then I got mad about my dad's interference nothing more. I hope you take the apology gift and like it. im sorry for hurting you and neglecting your caring feelings. "


How does it sound to a taurean? he always told me if a person apologises genuinely its good, but is this fight a big deal ?

It's not all your fault here so don't feel you need to shoulder all the blame and respondibility. It kind of sounds like he's young and needs to learn how to take responsibility for his own actions.

At the end of the day do what you feel is best. If you value your friendship between you then sometimes apologising and taking it on the chin is a good thing even if it is not your fault. Then you can move on passed it quicker.

However, this guy has been a bit of a dick since your break up and if this is the first time you've lost it then congratulations might be in order for you! Perhaps just holding off for a few days might give you time to cool down and see things clearly rather than rushing in with a plan of action.

I'm not Taurean so I don't know how he might react but I'm just offering my view.

Posted by GENERALIZOD
AFTER A BREAK UP TAURUSES DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT PART IS TRUE.

It might be true... but see who's keeping all the exes pics and text messages.

taurus ego... definitely on the GO. hahaha

and hey... some tauruses are funny - I have 2 taurus women friends. the other one has relationship with a scorpio - they are young 21 yrs old and she said he is very cool guy and she is happy.

The other taurus woman is 27 - married with 1 kid and cannot even moved on an ex 2 yrs ago- and this made me laugh while reading the tauruses don't give $ 7!t after break up.. this is true or false statement as I have my own convictions and witnessed some tauruses who suffered that $ 7!t thing.

I met him and he began laughing about the whole situation and said i cant be a hippocrite because honestly id feel how you felt. Then later he mentioned how he has faced issues trusting me because he feels like k exxagerate or miscommunicate and sometimes its just his excessive demand as a man with trust issues.

Then i apologised and gave him the goft he said he liked it and then said isnt it weird as exes. I didnt say much and hes like you still have hopes and i didnt say anything and then he goes well not like we are proper exes anyway. He went onto say that the other day one of his friends said that you are killing her slowly by being around her and my ex replied saying i am dying too. Its so complicated.


Then today his client came to consult me so i spoke to his client and said that my ex has something in mind for him and he should see him. My ex lost it saying you stole my client i said i didnt. He said you shouldve stopped i explained and later just apologised and then hegoes i keep blaming you everyday and you apologise, i dont know i should stop. I didnt reply and then he goes dont go buy me something now. I felt quite hurt by now, but just kept shut.

Then after some 10 minutes he began talking normally about movies and shit....

He then said he wanted to go watch this movie for a second time and would want to take me if i want to go.

I said we'll see and that i'd let him know if i want to watch

it just seems that he is not ready to be in a relationship.

and i can't understand what the attraction is for a man that blames you for everything. are you happy always being wrong? do you feel content in constantly second guessing yourself and feeling off kilter?

he is stringing you along because you are convenient and he likes the position he finds himself in. he has you at his beckoned call, able to toy with your emotions, to pick you up and drop you to the floor like a child with a doll.

I agree here with the two postings above from J and HB.

You've done the apologising bit and thought all was ok but he just keeps blowing up for no reason. It's getting on my nerves and it's not anything to do with me.

I do think he's being an arsehole and playing stupid games, taking advantage of your kind nature. I know you're hoping to maybe get back with him but he's forever dangling the carrot with cinema trips and constant comments about not being real ex's etc.

This is just unacceptable and it is bullshit.

You are not a verbal punch bag.

Does he blow up about nothing with everyone or just you? The Taurus I knew blew up at me for no reason so many times. Reaction was way out of proportion.

I just feel you're going to blow up at him one day. Enough so he stops his bullshit. No fucking cinema trips, no unprofessional shouting at work or about work. No nothing. Absolute minimal of contact. No calls, no texts, no emails. If he emails or calls about work and starts engaging in small talk then cut him off. I don't care if he's being Mr Nice Guy because 5 mins later he's Mr Arsehole. You need a break and time and reset those boundarys again.

You guys have no idea what it is like. Smh.

First Decan, please elaborate.

OKay. So I know Im the one posting here with all the queries here and without seeming awfully defensive, or in denial i am going to say a few things here, as my instincts would guide me.

1) I am not weak. Previously and this time I have done the whole no contact rule. Even now we dont text or call apart from the proffessional hours ( during when most of our interactions happen). After having done no contact, we met up an confronted each other and then felt it was unecessary to be so blunt and withdrawn. I may not be getting the relationship my way, but im still lucky enough unlike most breakups to have the guy love me to bits. I can see it and i can tell because taureans, actions show louder than words. And even here he kept his ego aside and initiated a conversation.
2) About the lient. Yes I did take his client unintentionally, but he had tld me much before ( as we were dating ) that we would like to have our clients to ourselves. He blew out, but it wasnt like i stood and cried and apologised. I fought back made my point and then apologised when i felt i was wrong.


AgentP911, thankyou for feeling me. Yes It gets very frustrating. But i dont doubt his emotions for me.


First Decan as a taurean woul you please emphasize ?

Now see guys. I love him im around him. But im not around him because I love him.


During work i walk alone and sit on my own and he comes walking around and sis with me. Ditches everyone and omes for lunch with me when he can choose to do otherwise. These arent things that give me hope, but these are things that show to me that yes he still likes me. Doesnt mean he may come back. That;s a different question altogether.


We both love ech other. Only difference he stops himself. He has stopped himself at a place where he is doubtful about certain things.

I am a leo with strong cancerian traits, so im more go with the flow. I wont stop my love for nyone not even him. . Yes, I do wish he comes back and i will do the best to get him back. But I am at a place where i dont want to play mind games. It gets too confusing. I start a game, he starts another, and the essence of the true feeling or purpose behind the game is lost.

Is it hard seeing each other at work? Hm just cook him a good meal and show up in a trench coat with just your lingerie under neath.. and then do whatever floats your boat. Then again once you get home start all over. I don't like violence.. if he gets abusive, maybe you should just leave. That's something someone needs a therapist for.

The both of us are therapists 😛

When I meant Client, I meant client seeking psychological assistance.

but no he has never been abusive. Critical. Yes. I am not defending him but that's that.

Lol crazy..yeah can be critical and harsh at times.

I don't know why I do the mind game thing. I think it's a series of testing and trust.

Any more tips?

Im physically attractive and im sober and calm

So mot days he comes around ... but obviously that's not god enough 😛 Wanting him back and having him around are two different things.

I cant make a move just yet. Because I think he was a little taken aback by the apology gift though he liked it.

What kind of gift?

cartooned HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER banner.

He loves it because he thinks its realistic and has life lessons.

the thing is, it is beside the point if he always comes to you, if he likes the gift, if you stick up for yourself before eventually capitulating or if you consider yourself a strong and independent woman, the thing is he doesn't sound good enough.

that's the bottom line. you may love him but in my opinion, there are far better men out there and i think you are wasting your time by hanging on to this one.

i also realise that nothing we say here will make you change your mind. i suspect you are just going to have to ride this one out. i just hope in five years time, you'll look back and wonder what you ever saw in him.

What do you see in him btw?

Okay, what I see in him.

I see a caring confused guy. I guy who sees reality the way it is. A man who is genuine to the world and me.

A companion of the truest form. I can sit and listen to him for hours, and know exactly what he means without him having to explain himself. I see a man who loves me ( i know he does from the past and even now, but somewhere he is caught in a struggle I dont mean to justify his behaviour but only he can get himself out)

So, over the past two days he has been contemplating getting back. He said he has been talking to the therapist too. He apologised for whatever he did to me and sid that he was wrong and blah blah. And then he said I want a relationship with you, but somewhere i dont want it to go back to the kind of relationship it was before. I said i dont either... and he was lie there are still things i dont like about you, I said well ? and he goes but there are so many more things I love about you 😢
So i laughed and said, what do you want me to say, you need to feel the need to want me in your life, and that's the only way. He is like "I do feel the need but i overanalyse and im scared I wont be able to take care of you. Then i wonder if its because Im just being a deprived guy". I just smiled and said only you an figure it out I can offer you support he told me i ws very supportive over the past few days).

Then yesterday we were o our way from work and he says " im alone at work do you want to come over" and I laughed " he said no I didnt mean it like that" and i said i know you were joking... he replies " partially"... so i replied politely by saying " No 🙂" and then a while later he goes do you wnt to ome home cook nd wtch something i said sure.

So i went over, we did cleanup and cook and all that... and later he came and hugged me tight, and i hugged him back and he asked " does it hurt you when I do this ?" i said it doesnt change anything. he goes what do you mean ? I said a hug wont hurt me. but yes, what you'v done till now has, i still love you so the hug doesnt change or mean anything more, i dont overthink about it, i know you like me too but you are just stuck somewhere. So he hugged me realllly tight and said Im so sorry, and hes like im doing this because i dont know but im not doing it to hurt you, I said look I have 40 days of masters left here, god knows where we'll be after i'd rather make the most of it and i was realllly teary when i said it. He got teary too and hugged me relly hard, and kissed me, and I did too. Then he looks at me and goes " want to give it one last shot?"

I dont know why but i looked at him and said " why ? are you sure ?" and he replies " no, but i want you in my life, i dont like the fact that when i see you with others I feel like you are just being someone else , i know you are a different person but i feel like you behave a ertain wy to get validation with others", i reply saying " see, i dont think to much when i do what i do. When im with you or with other. I can be myself with you. and with others im impulsive and just be fun i dont feel the need to be the docile loving one with them. And im okay with myself like this, im not bad, its alright. And you should be fine with it too ( i said this all very nicely, it might sound crass here)" and he smiled back and said " hmm, you've changed so muc for me already" .. i said " see, im not some dumbwit that you ask me to change i did, i thought about it and i felt the certain changes were needed and it happened on its own" and he says " i feel bad about it" i said " no it's good for me"

I said stop taking responsibility for everything, you are going to kill yourself.

And then hes like the problem is im not taking responsibility, i am not able to commit ! so i sid " okay whats committment to you?" he's like to be able to take care of someone" i said ommittment to me is to be able to be with one person, support them while she supports you. Its not like im going to be home, expet you to work and live off you. I have my own goals, just like you and I require your support. nd he goes what if im not able to support. I said you were able to before, you are just freaking out. I dont want to convince you into anything. I want you if you want to, at the cost of your own happiness and not at giving up yourself.

Then i just smiled nd began to be normal and said what movie do I play ? and he kept staring at me... so i said what would you like to watch ? and he just looked at me, fell onto his knees and cried. So i went and hugged him for a good 10 mins, I said its okayyyyyyy and didn't let go. I held him till he was better. Then, after half an hour the movie was on, he looked teary and said I dont know whats happening with us, but that kiss feels the same, like the first date, like nothing has changed. I smiled. He said it gives me butterflies... can i kiss you again ? I smiled and said softly, I know you have a lot going on and i know you still love me but you arent able to find the right place for yourself, but i dont know if you can have the best of both worlds.


He stopped smiled and just stared.

Then later something about guys flirting came up and i said i like it when guys are honest while complimenting, like my friend always says you arent hot, but you are really cute to me. And my bf goes, are you crazy, you are curvy and have an amazing face, ofcourse you are hot. And then I said no but i have a cute face, is what my friend meant. and hes like I dont know maybe you are cute and hot but maybe not to everyone to a lot of people yes. But you need to be open to the fact that everyone may not see you that way. and i said ofcourse and laughed.


Later i left and he seemed really upset as in embarrased. So i said hey, i like you and all okay but i didnt ant to do something for the heck of it.

And he said no no you did the right thing for both of us.

then he messaged me the following :

" dont take me wrong okay im not being sarcastic about this. im glad you stopped me i wouldve asked you bac again and come back maybe for the physical aspect. And we both would get hurt. im glad. sometimes i feel i need rejection in relationships. the way i have been able to take rejection in career and make good decisions. I hope this will make me sensible not offended. trust me"
So i said yeah, i want you to want me and then more the act doesnt matter, you've gotten it before and you'll get it again but there has to be more.

and he replied saying " I know, its very easy to get into and hard to get out of. i would have borken my therapy committments if i had taken you back. I really need sometime." and i concurred

Then he said " I hate this uncertainity, im going to make some decisions, i be one way you another regardless of whether we are together or not. let's see what we need individually. If if ifff im coming back to you, im going to make sure i can run the relationship and am able to take good care of my partner. Tille then I WONT MAKE A MOVE ON YOU. And if i am coming back to you I WILL NOT ASK YOU FOR THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. period"

I sensed that somewhere he was embarrassed so tried to tell him its something i want to but we have to look at bigger things and then he said im glad you stood up for yourself, respect earned. And then he shared this secret about how his only other serious gf, has developed OCD after their breakup, she keeps shift deleting files and he feels responsible for it in some way and said " i fuck the people who are close to me"
though he never dumped her.

I said it's okay, we all have to make mistakes, thats how

....we work. and then he said if im coming back im coming back for good, pray to meet the love of your life in between

I know i did the right thing I dont want him to kind of regret things later and stay for the heck of it and i dont want to blame him.

But when he messaged me i sensed like his ego was pushed somewhere. I want to know if it was his ego talking or it was him.. from taurean perspective.

I am not giving in at any cost i am proud of what I did. But im trying to understand whats happening on his side, just for my own sake.

Its a super long post, but please read pages 2 and 3, because my internet messed up and i had to hide a few repetitive posts.

Proud of you too :-) good for standing your ground. It's certainly not the wrong thing to have done. Clearer head makes better judgements.

Posted by sushmitais4eva
And then he shared this secret about how his only other serious gf, has developed OCD after their breakup, she keeps shift deleting files and he feels responsible for it in some way and said " i fuck the people who are close to me"
though he never dumped her.

This sounds me and my ex taurus.. because of that. I am happy living my own life.career.finacial stability and
my house is under construction.

and yeah.. I deleted all the memories.

Posted by M143

Posted by sushmitais4eva
And then he shared this secret about how his only other serious gf, has developed OCD after their breakup, she keeps shift deleting files and he feels responsible for it in some way and said " i fuck the people who are close to me"
though he never dumped her.

This sounds me and my ex taurus.. because of that. I am happy living my own life.career.finacial stability and
my house is under construction.

and yeah.. I deleted all the memories.

click to expand

Keep telling yourself that ...