Did I just catch him off guard?

I always have known my Taurus friend to be level headed and straight forward which is why I think we get along so well, until now.

We have been friends for a number of years. Nothing more. Recently I started developing feelings for him as we have been spending a lot more time together (both single now) and talking a lot as I am currently away for work.

I told him I was interested in seeing where our relationship might go (I need to take things slowly due to my lastbad break up) and asked what he thought. He told me he was sure I would find someone. With that I just let it go (as it's not the end of the world and I wouldn't like to ruin our friendship) telling him, it's obviously something he would not consider and I understand.

He immediately jumped on that and said 'what do you mean not something I would consider, I just can't consider it this year with everything that has happened'

That confused me to start with but I didn't dwell on it, I told him I just hope my mentioning it doesn't affect our friendship or us hanging out to which he said when I get back we can meet up and talk about possibly dating again.

This surprised me since I feel like he has always appeared so level headed and sure of himself, so didn't think me saying what I did would get him like that.

Was I being too bold? Or just catch him off guard?

It sounds like you inadvertently pushed him into a corner by telling him what he meant when he spoke to you. When you backed off, so did he and he became much more flexible when talking about the possibility.

I think you should take baby steps and really allow him to set the pace. Take the opportunity when you can to be a little flirtatious and more touchy feel but don't try to force a position from him.

@jeane thanks for that! Had to read it a few times to make sure I understood what you meant.

I realize now that by asking and expecting a definitive answer, when that didn't happen I Basically said no for him, assuming that is what he meant.

I heard what he said but interpreted it my way.

I know you can not push a Taurus for an answer. I just assumed he had already decided whether he only saw me as a friend too or not

Posted by Garnet
@jeane thanks for that! Had to read it a few times to make sure I understood what you meant.

I realize now that by asking and expecting a definitive answer, when that didn't happen I Basically said no for him, assuming that is what he meant.

I heard what he said but interpreted it my way.

I know you can not push a Taurus for an answer. I just assumed he had already decided whether he only saw me as a friend too or not

bingo. you got it. at least, that's my opinion. 🙂

best of luck. maybe a taurus on the board might be able to give you a more informed understanding than my groping in the dark!

Posted by Garnet
I always have known my Taurus friend to be level headed and straight forward which is why I think we get along so well, until now.

We have been friends for a number of years. Nothing more. Recently I started developing feelings for him as we have been spending a lot more time together (both single now) and talking a lot as I am currently away for work.

I told him I was interested in seeing where our relationship might go (I need to take things slowly due to my lastbad break up) and asked what he thought. He told me he was sure I would find someone. With that I just let it go (as it's not the end of the world and I wouldn't like to ruin our friendship) telling him, it's obviously something he would not consider and I understand.

He immediately jumped on that and said 'what do you mean not something I would consider, I just can't consider it this year with everything that has happened'

That confused me to start with but I didn't dwell on it, I told him I just hope my mentioning it doesn't affect our friendship or us hanging out to which he said when I get back we can meet up and talk about possibly dating again.

This surprised me since I feel like he has always appeared so level headed and sure of himself, so didn't think me saying what I did would get him like that.

Was I being too bold? Or just catch him off guard?

it sounds to me like you caught him off guard - we need time and space to process things/changes around us ... having to produce a graceful answer to an important question when it is just thrown out there is difficult - at least that is how it feels to us - like something was just thrown our way and we are expected to know exactly how to catch it - we can't always do that gracefully ... but it sounds like you are getting the answer you were after, after all ...

Posted by tcta

Posted by Garnet
I always have known my Taurus friend to be level headed and straight forward which is why I think we get along so well, until now.

We have been friends for a number of years. Nothing more. Recently I started developing feelings for him as we have been spending a lot more time together (both single now) and talking a lot as I am currently away for work.

I told him I was interested in seeing where our relationship might go (I need to take things slowly due to my lastbad break up) and asked what he thought. He told me he was sure I would find someone. With that I just let it go (as it's not the end of the world and I wouldn't like to ruin our friendship) telling him, it's obviously something he would not consider and I understand.

He immediately jumped on that and said 'what do you mean not something I would consider, I just can't consider it this year with everything that has happened'

That confused me to start with but I didn't dwell on it, I told him I just hope my mentioning it doesn't affect our friendship or us hanging out to which he said when I get back we can meet up and talk about possibly dating again.

This surprised me since I feel like he has always appeared so level headed and sure of himself, so didn't think me saying what I did would get him like that.

Was I being too bold? Or just catch him off guard?

it sounds to me like you caught him off guard - we need time and space to process things/changes around us ... having to produce a graceful answer to an important question when it is just thrown out there is difficult - at least that is how it feels to us - like something was just thrown our way and we are expected to know exactly how to catch it - we can't always do that gracefully ... but it sounds like you are getting the answer you were after, after all ...

click to expand

Don't you think he would know the answer right away or he had never thought about OP as more than friend?

Doesn't any man Tautus or not thinking of a female as just a friend or maybe more all the time they are spending time together?

Can woman really shock a man with question like that? I wouldn't want that man! Too weak for me.

You KNOW me, you see me often, you are close to me and we had apparently hugged for whatever reason and you don't know if you ever wish you could hug me longer—

I don't buy it!