Help! Taurus Input! He doesn't want more?

Hey everyone,

I am very new to this, and hoping to find some answers. I am often very confident on how I handle my dating but this guy has me a little confused. Quick background I guess is the way to start!

I met this guy three months ago, both of us just came out of relationships. It was fair to assume neither of us didn't have high expectations of what would happen between us. There was one thing undeniable however, we have a great connection and have a lot of fun together so we just allowed it to flow as it was meant to. He initiated lots of contact, made plans for dates, I even found myself over time stepping out of my comfort zone and making a little effort to communicate with him and show some interest, again I am a bit old school so didn't want to push too hard but I was doing what felt right and we developed this really great balance between the two of us. Just last week, out of nowhere he approached me about what is going on between us. He told me he likes what we have going on but isn't sure he wants more or at least at the moment. I told him I understood and that I want to be sure to have all my ducks in a row before jumping into anything too serious but I too like him and enjoy getting to him. Just a couple days later he asked to go for coffee, and again we had a great time, it was like we haven't skipped a beat. After I left though, I began questiong myself if I am comfortable now moving forward like I was. I like this guy, and wanted to feel free to explore the possibilities bewtween us. I am not quick to move but I would be lying if I didn't think I could be open to a relationship with him BUT now that I know he is unsure about me, or the idea of a relationship I feel like I can't make the same efforts I were before. I haven't made effort to call or text him since I have seen him last. It has only been a couple days since I have spoke to him but as I continue to move forward I do not plan to be the one to contact him. He is a Taurus man and I am Aries on the cusp of a Taurus.

I am looking for advise on how to handle this? My instinct is to just leave it and see what he does? But I am not sure that is the smart thing to do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

His exact wording was he likes what we have going on, he isn't sure he wants more, or at least at the moment. When I saw him next we talked about relationship a little more, and again he didn't say he wasn't open to the idea of a relationship, and we weren't discussing with me, but in genral but he really isn't sure.

I will admit leading up to that talk I was the one making more of the effort, I was calling or texting( not a lot but if I hadn't heard from him I would shoot him a line) I was always well receieved but he had pulled back. It was not even two weeks of that then he told me how he was feeling, so he must of been thinking about it. That is what has me the most confused. This guy pulls back, I try to make a balanced effort, he tells me how he feels and now am I suppose to continue making the effort I was leading up to it? Or let him open up the communication again? I am used to being the one to let men prove their interest and sit back but that hasn't worked for me so I told myself the next guy I met and had a geniune interest and connection in I would put forth more effort and do what felt right more. I was doing just that and things were slow but feeling good and now I feel like I have hit a bit of a wall and my feelings feel blocked if that makes any sense.

Posted by Mkb86
Just last week, out of nowhere he approached me about what is going on between us. He told me he likes what we have going on but isn't sure he wants more or at least at the moment. I told him I understood....

..Just a couple days later he asked to go for coffee, and again we had a great time, it was like we haven't skipped a beat. After I left though, I began questiong myself if I am comfortable now moving forward like I was.

now that I know he is unsure about me, or the idea of a relationship I feel like I can't make the same efforts I were before. I haven't made effort to call or text him since I have seen him last. It has only been a couple days since I have spoke to him but as I continue to move forward I do not plan to be the one to contact him. He is a Taurus man and I am Aries on the cusp of a Taurus.

My instinct is to just leave it and see what he does? But I am not sure that is the smart thing to do? Any advice would be much appreciated.

He told you everything he needed to tell you, you told him you understood. ~Point final.

Go with your instincts. Set your sights on someone else who is READY.

Posted by Mkb86
After I left though, I began questiong myself if I am comfortable now moving forward like I was. I like this guy, and wanted to feel free to explore the possibilities bewtween us.

You are exploring the possibilities!

It's just occurring at the stage of a natural, gradual courtship.
He's not in a rush to get there...and he needs to know that you're OK with it as well.

My advice...
Just focus on taking things slow, and getting to know him better.



This will benefit the both of you.

You will not be each other's rebounds.

Posted by robyn808


He doesn't know what he wants and how he feels. Its only been 3 months, we are slow. I have said this many times to when it came to the earlier stages of a relationship. All I want to do is be upfront so there are no misunderstandings. But I have had people focus on the negative connotation and see the glass as half empty, completely miss the point of what I was trying to communicate.

If your so focused on what the negative outcome will be then you will miss the opportunity to let the possibility of a positive outcome influence how you treat this relationship. Classic case of self fulfilled proficiency.

He said nothing, to give the indication that he wants this relationship to change right now. But you've talking about letting fear hold you back from your natural inclinations. This is a big NO! NO! Things need to feeling natural and real.

Very well stated!

I dislike being rushed.
If an individual 'jumps ship' prematurely...
Due to a lack of patience.
I simply shrug and brush it off. I will not pursue them or chase after them.
I have a 'now and forever' concept/approach to love.
Not an 'instant gratification' approach to love.
Love needs to feel gradual, real, and concrete.
If they're not being patient, they had no intentions of being with me for the long haul.

When I have reservations about rushing into a commitment, I am often perceived as insensitive, indecisive, confused, playing mind games, or a commitment-phobe.

None of this is TRUE!

With the same slow duration it takes for me to commit, it becomes just as hard for me to let go. I can't speak for all Tauruses, but myself, I have anxiety attacks when there is a drastic change in my life (ex, separation from loved ones, losing or making new friends, changing location, jobs).

Being possessive, I have trouble letting people go.

how long is long? a year?

Posted by bkbella86
how long is long? a year?

Depends on the Taurus... and the other individual involved.

Thanks for the feedback! After thinking about it a few days to determine what I felt. I want to continue to get to know him so I messages him and heard from him instantly. I just don't want to push too hard and treat this with care and also make sure were both comfortable. I just have never dealt with this, so is it normal at this point I may have to be the one to maintain our consistency?