help with my taurus

Help with a Taurus man

Hello I am kind of new to all this, but I decided to see if I can get some advise. My friends have just about given me as much advise as they can give me but they are confused with the signals he is given me.

I'm 32 pieces he is 37 Taurus

He is recently divorced with two kids. The kids are not allowed to see each other right now because of the divorce and he has them every other day, and every other weekend.
We are also in a long distant relationship about 3 ?_ hours away.

We have spoken through my job for a year before he asked me to hang out. He asked me to meet him in December, I declined nicely. Than he had a business trip to my state and asked me to meet him for drinks. I also declined that, how ever with his persistence and exchanging phone numbers. I reluctantly said yes.

We had talked for hours on the phone prior to meeting. He told me the only reason why he was coming to my town was so he can meet me. We met for dinner that night late of course cause I was busy with an activity that takes up most of my time from November-April.
So I met up with him we had a great night, ended up spending the entire weekend (my birthday) with him in between both of our work stuff.

We went weeks with out seeing each other, talking for hours on the phone through out the day, numerous mushy text messages, pictures on what we were doing, little check up phone calls etc??_.
He told me that he wants to make fantasies with me, like send all his guys friends, each with a rose and a u haul and move me up there, and other things no one has ever said to me.

We met a few times in between just to have dinner, than my activity finally ended in mid April. The miss you texts slowly stopped but he always kept in contact and catching up with me. We saw each other for weekends at a time. He came down here for a few weekends with the kids and did a lot of sight seeing and I went up there a bunch of times, including the kids in everything.

We clicked so well when we are together and I really care about him, and the kids (which I was terrified to do) the kids loved me. I made them photo collages his birthday of the kids and things they did here (none of the pics included me) all of them were him and the kids.

One weekend while he was going to his best friends dads funeral, he found out that his dad suddenly died. He is only close to his dad and he felt the only thing that had left was his dad and his kids. He is not

. I offered my assistance with going up there, and he said it would be easier if I wasn t there. I respected that, because he would feel as if he had to entertain me and it wouldn't be about his dad . I also gave him space, just randomly sending texts I am here for you, I care about u, smile texts just motivational texts. I care about his sooo much and all I want is to help him and be there for him but he wont let me. I finally asked what does that mean for me and him, he said that he doesn't know, he cant keep going back and forth and he has to do stuff with the kids. He told me that all he thinks about is me and looks at my picture 5 times a day, and now he has to focus on other stuff that he has to get done, (he had to do everything with the funeral and death cause his family doesn't help) he still wants to be friends though and he never wants to lose that.

I am trying to be a friend to him and help him through all this, he calls me (not as much) and texts (not as much) he sends me pictures of his kids, and things that he is doing around the house. But it is killing me. I care about him so much and he knows that, he tells me he cares about me too and misses me. And that this is not easy for him either. I don't cry on the phone with him, but I am so heart broken and torn,
In one way I want to be there for him and get him through this. (he said that I have done more nice things for him than his wife has in 13 years) and in another aspect I feel that I need to let go because I can keep living sad. He said to me tonight don't worry we will get through this together I will always want to be in touch with you no matter if this works out or we are friends I value you.
So my question is should I continue to support him with the hopes that he will ask me back?
Or should I let go until I have recovered from my heart ache?

Im a pisces woman dealing with a Taurus male. We're friends, but there is a certain level of respect that is needed for me. He's not giving that to me. He wants me to chase him (I assume)..not happening.
i say, tell him whats on your mind and let it go how goes.

I went through a similar situation with my Taurus, he's 25 and I'm 20. When his aunt recently died from cancer he, pulled away a little and decided to think about our relationship and his life. He also told his family about us which we decided wasn't a good idea because it was a long distance relationship and he has a totally different culture from me (he's Syrian)they didn't agree with it so he told me maybe we are better off as friends, I was heart broken too because we made a lot of plans and I couldn't believe everything was changing so fast, and I could tell it wasn't something he really wanted but I guess with the lost of his aunt and his family putting pressure on him he felt it should be that way. So I stayed by his side as a friend, that didn't last to long because we care deeply for each other.

I think you should continue to stay by his side, it sounds like he really cares about you but have a lot to think about,I'm not sure if this is a Taurus thing but my guy always over think things because he wants to make a right choice not only for him but for me as well, the lost of your guys dad probably has him thinking about everything and what he wants out of life, and his relationship with you, I hope everything works out for you :-).

Thank you for your replies, i have tried to be anything but nice, helpful to him. He sent me a video last night of him playing poker with his buddies and one of his buddies in the back round said you should just dump her, and than someone said that was a classic comment. there was a lot of back round noise and i had to listen a couple of times but it was there. why would he send me that?? is he trying to hint something, he text me when he was on his way home and i told him i was going to bed. i didnt want to talk last night because i didnt want to say anything i didnt mean. and than i havent heard from him all day today... i think i am just going to pull way back i cant keep letting my emotions take over my day.

Wow now that's something different, I don't understand why he would send you a video like that and I feel you should ask him about this because you can only find out what's really going on by talking to him, let him know how you feel about that and everything else.

I Didnt talk to him about it that night because i was too upset to do so...unfortunatly it was over text message last night and i might have worded it incorrectly by asking. he denyed the whole thing and actually started getting aggressive, which he never has. I said that the only reason why i am asking you is because you told me to be open with you and i did. i asked why he would want to be friends with me if i cant be an open friend with him and tell him my feelings, and he said that well after this maybe i should ask my self these questions. i told him what ever he decided to do i would always be here for him and that he always holds my heart. and he hasnt responded or said anything to me since. i havent said anything to him, even though i really wanted to...but i guess i should go away and hope that he will come back.
we have never had any arguments and i truly care about him, and i know he is going through a lot with his dads death. i just dont know what the right thing to do at this point. i dont want to come across as a pyscho or possessiive girl. but i really want him back in my life as more than a friend

its killing me that he hasn't reached out to me yet! did he give up?

Pisces79, I understand how you feel because I am also a Pisces and that would really bother me too. I feel you should just focus on yourself right now, and if it's meant to be it will be, if not take this as a lesson learned and move on. I don't really understand his actions, maybe he do care about you but not the same way you care for him. Time will tell, I hope it works out for you.

Hi P79, So you have been "dating" this Taurus guy only a few months if I read your op correctly? It sounds like he may like you but is not serious about you yet. It takes time for a Taurus to get really serious about a woman. He is just out of a long marriage and probably just wants to date and have fun. Nothing serious. If he was really "heartbroken" and in "misery" over his personal problems, he wouldn't be laughing it up with the boys playing poker! He has moved on and please you do the same. You are worthy of someone who wants a relationship. He, at this time, does not...

yes that is correct, i was only "dating" him for a few months. He goes and plays cards with the boys because his kid plays over there too. I know that he only stays for a short time playing cards cause he tells me when he is going and coming home. He sounds miserable everytime i speak with him.
well after a few days of no contact i contacted him about something non relationship related to help him out with something. We texted of course and i said if he has any questions to just give me a call sometime and ill go over it with him. He called me on lunch break, but i was too busy to talk than i called him on lunch break and he was too busy to talk. it was def. abrubt on his part. I was just normal friendly and he was standoffish. (for the brief minutes that we spoke) I told him to call if he wanted but if he didnt than i understand. He def text me and said well i guess we'll talk sometime. I said i would like to talk outside of work, for him to vent and scream about whatever he is mad at me about and what ever he needs to get on his chest. I told him i was suppose to be the person that he is able to come to and open up with and speak what ever is on his mind. i told him i was hurt and confused about this situation and i was worried about him. He said he he agrees with me and he will call me tonight. so I guess i will see...at least we will get the akwardness of not talking out of the way.

What do you want out of this?
What do you believe you can give him?
What do you believe he can give you?

That's SO interesting that you've had the same experience as I have had w/ my Taurus friend. I totally wrote him off. When you can't communicate, or at least have the common decency (sp?) to answer a simple question, then Im gone. Mine is acting VERY strange lately, so I wrote a long letter basically saying I'm here for you as a friend, but clearly, that's not what you want. I don't know WHAT you want! So, if and when you figure it out, let me know.. until then or even IF then, we're done. almost 20 years gone...

Not saying you do the same, just saying dont be afraid to cut your losses short, no matter how painful. Especially when it's you or your best interest.

KUP

NZ aqua- I really thought he was the one for me... I know that i can give him everything, heart, soul and love. And when we were together before his dad passed, I knew he could give me everything i wanted. i saw it in his eyes.

anyway, things are so up and down with us, he is so confusing. the other night we talked things out, he told me he cares about me and misses me, told me i did more for him in the past few months than his ex wife of 13 years did. He told me that i am too nice of a person to take out of my element and he is scared to do that. its just all really confusing. and he tells me how he wants to be friends for ever, even if we dont work out. yesterday, was a texting frenzy emotional rollercoaster of feelings, and today was just random....he was more talkative today, and the last thing he said was dont think for one minute this isnt hard for me, because it is. i just answered with a sad face. because he is the one who pushed me away when things went sour in his life. not me i was there for him. again its complicated with the distance but it could be worse, like across the world. but i dont know what he is trying to do or make me feel. he is also which makes no sense to me...is he keeps asking about guys, and who i am hanging out with and have you called this one yet. what is he really trying to do?

NZ aqua- I really thought he was the one for me... I know that i can give him everything, heart, soul and love. And when we were together before his dad passed, I knew he could give me everything i wanted. i saw it in his eyes.

anyway, things are so up and down with us, he is so confusing. the other night we talked things out, he told me he cares about me and misses me, told me i did more for him in the past few months than his ex wife of 13 years did. He told me that i am too nice of a person to take out of my element and he is scared to do that. its just all really confusing. and he tells me how he wants to be friends for ever, even if we dont work out. yesterday, was a texting frenzy emotional roller coaster of feelings, and today was just random....he was more talkative today, and the last thing he said was dont think for one minute this isnt hard for me, because it is. i just answered with a sad face. because he is the one who pushed me away when things went sour in his life. not me i was there for him. again its complicated with the distance but it could be worse, like across the world. but i dont know what he is trying to do or make me feel. he is also which makes no sense to me...is he keeps asking about guys, and who i am hanging out with and have you called this one yet. what is he really trying to do?

and now he calls me in the morning and this afternoon!! why what is he trying to do— and tells me he misses talking to me all the time.

Well, you know what love? he has to either commit to being with you or commit to being without you. This calling, telling you he misses you etc - it messes with your head, obviously. So what are YOU going to do about it?

well, he has been sending me mixed signals now for a few weeks and i am tired of it...when i went away with my roommate, and he found out he was texting me and calling me the whole weekend. And saying things like "at least your with someone" at least your not alone etc... He knows i would be there with him if he let me but, he is doing the sad depressed role.
And again he got mad at me for not answering the phone on monday...which i did we just had a bad reception. I text him right away to let him know we were having signal problems. Anyways he made me mad on tuesday he text me in the morning are you up? like he wanted to talk i just blew that off cause i wanted to sleep later, than he called at work and told me how pissed off he was about monday. and i told him i was at work and ill call him later to speak about this. So i called him up and let it all out for about 45 min...he just kept saying i dont know i dont have an answer i dont know i dont know. So this morning, i text him, and we got into it again a little, i told him that he cant have his cake and eat it too, he is driving me nuts, i told him its decision time, all or nothing. and he basically said nothing.
of course i got upset and said somethings i shouldnt have. so i called him after work and told him by all means, I wont ship your stuff back and i would never want you to send me the stuff that i gave you back. i made a lot of gifts for him and his kids. we talked for a bit and pleaded me not to say good bye, and i basically told him that i cant handle this anymore, i have to be selfish for me. he said but what if i need you, or for you to come up here or for me to come down here. I told him that its not all about him anymore, what about what i need? and i said good bye and told him to only contact me if he wants to have a "future" with me, and i heard him tear up as we hung up the phone.
sorry this is all over the place its kindof hitting me now, and i am pretty upset about it.
so i guess its over thank you for all your kind words of advice

You did the best thing. You did. You have to look after yourself. It hurts now and it'll hurt for a while but it will subside.

Big hugs xx

Posted by pisces79
well, he has been sending me mixed signals now for a few weeks and i am tired of it...when i went away with my roommate, and he found out he was texting me and calling me the whole weekend. And saying things like "at least your with someone" at least your not alone etc... He knows i would be there with him if he let me but, he is doing the sad depressed role.
And again he got mad at me for not answering the phone on monday...which i did we just had a bad reception. I text him right away to let him know we were having signal problems. Anyways he made me mad on tuesday he text me in the morning are you up? like he wanted to talk i just blew that off cause i wanted to sleep later, than he called at work and told me how pissed off he was about monday. and i told him i was at work and ill call him later to speak about this. So i called him up and let it all out for about 45 min...he just kept saying i dont know i dont have an answer i dont know i dont know. So this morning, i text him, and we got into it again a little, i told him that he cant have his cake and eat it too, he is driving me nuts, i told him its decision time, all or nothing. and he basically said nothing.
of course i got upset and said somethings i shouldnt have. so i called him after work and told him by all means, I wont ship your stuff back and i would never want you to send me the stuff that i gave you back. i made a lot of gifts for him and his kids. we talked for a bit and pleaded me not to say good bye, and i basically told him that i cant handle this anymore, i have to be selfish for me. he said but what if i need you, or for you to come up here or for me to come down here. I told him that its not all about him anymore, what about what i need? and i said good bye and told him to only contact me if he wants to have a "future" with me, and i heard him tear up as we hung up the phone.
sorry this is all over the place its kindof hitting me now, and i am pretty upset about it.
so i guess its over thank you for all your kind words of advice

Good for you! I did the same to my Taurus "friend". Hurts like HELL, but I'll live... it's better to hurt than being taken advantage of or played for a fool. (((PISCES)))

thank you everyone! 8 am he picture text me, 2pm another text and 4pm a phone call to work, and 425 another text. Um did he not get when i told him only to contact me when he was ready for a relationship?

Posted by pisces79
thank you everyone! 8 am he picture text me, 2pm another text and 4pm a phone call to work, and 425 another text. Um did he not get when i told him only to contact me when he was ready for a relationship?

LOL, nope he is going to continue to contact you when he wants.

why?? do you think he is doing this he called again today and told me he will call me tonight. meanwhile I said to him i told you i wasnt going to talk to you unless you make your choice, he said well than if you dont want to talk than call me whenever. and he was really abrupt about it. Meanwhile when i told him that the other night he was crying on the phone. Why does he change his moods so much. ugh...so frustrating. i want to move on so bad but my heart is holding on.

Trust me I know exactly how you feel. I can't really tell you why I just know from my two experiences with Taurus males that he is going to contact you when he wants to speak to you (can't say this for all Taurus males),my first love was a Taurus and he would call me even if I told him not to and my Taurus now will to. From your story it sounds like he's not sure exactly what he wants but he still might have some feelings for you.

did you answer the calls? I really have a hard time with this decision because in one way i want him to know i am going to stay strong and wait for his answer but the other way i really miss hearing his voice, and than it makes me feel worse when i get off the phone with him i'm torn

Yes I did, it's hard for me to ignore calls. But I think you should remain strong.