In need of advice- confused by a Taurus man

Hello, im 20 yrs old gemini woman with cancer as rising sign, the cancer being very strong in my personality it nearly overcome the gemini. Im actually experiencing a distant phase (as ive seen many name it like that on this forum) with a 24 yrs old taurus man.

Before i start, i want to thank anyone who takes the time to read this because it IS a long post and i wanted to go into details so that you know exactly what is happening. Thank you!

To get to the subject, this taurus guy was taking art courses with my best friend and stumble upon my photo once. He became infatuated with me (physically of course) and kept expressing the desire to meet me.

At first i thought it was flattering and brushed it off. We were not in touch at all then. After a few months, i finally met him at an art exposition of their college and the least i can say is that i got hooked. He was charming, manly, ambitious and most of all accepted a part of me that i myself had difficulties accepting. After that night, we stayed connected via social medias but never meeting (because he had a girlfriend and would not accept any meeting although he did not propose any- ggod for both of us). After some days of texting and calling we got closer maybe too close for our likings and we both felt it. Thats when we both cut the ties. I did not get any news from him and although it hurt, i removed him from my social medias so that i cant see his happiness with his girlfriend. After about 3 months, i sent him a happy new year, out of my drunken state and he replied with a thank you and i forgot your number. The next few days we texted a bit, awkward af but i was still happy because i missed him. Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, i texted him an afternoon only to come to the news that he dumped his girlfriend. Apparently she was too independant and acted as though she didnt need him and in return his was too possessive and jealous for her liking. They both came to terms that it would not work after 7 months of relationship.

The same night he invited me to come to his place to a party with his friends. I had a diner with my family so i politely refused telling him to tell me in advance next time. Also i secretly did not want to become an oulet for his breakup (i told him that later on in a text). To make up for the night, he proposed to come to my neighborhood the next day to see me. I agreed and we had a wonderful time at a cliff giving view to the sea. We talked well he did much of the talking, im more the listener type, and i learned a lot about his ex and past relationships, his family and his circle of friends. Midway, he got all touchy feely and i learned later on that its a taurus trait? fortunately although i take time to get physically close to someone, it felt right to touch him and stay close. That afternoon he took me home and we did not kiss (im sorry if that seems blunt for some of you because of his veryyyy recent breakup but i just go with the flow) although i sensed hesitation from his side.

More texting the following week (he works on weekdays obviously and we can see each other on weekends since i live a bit far) and i learned a bit more about his ex etc and how they are trying to deal with the separation. Thursday night, he called me and made an allusion about coming to his place. Like i said i dont care much about social etiquettes and i base my happiness on what feels right at the moment. So i told him to choose and we agreed on saturday afternoon after which i was going to stay the night.

Came the day i was super nervous and excited at the same time (im going to say it now; im a virgin). And even though i knew it might be purely sexual for him i still got my hopes and other things up lol and i started to mix my emotions in this. Yep. We met at a relay point and arrived at his home. He lives there with his brother who sometimes goes back to the familial house. Nervous we talked about funny things and our hobbies etc to calm down the atmosphere haha and everything goes smoothly; we kissed a lot he got touchy feely again and very tender and sensual at the same time and it brought out the clingy touchy woman in me. First.time.ever. Even i considered myself as cold. Nothing crucial happened yet and his brother and his dad came home to eat with us. Instantly liked them. Im usually shy but not this time. His dad expressed his appreciation of me over his ex quite a few times, enough to embarass me and i think, annoy my taurus at the same time.

Again he made a lot of allusions about our relationship that i thought was moving way too fast but stayed silent. Later his dad and brother left and we got intimate but bot completely because he wanted to go progressively so as to not hurt me. But i loveeed this passionate side of him.

I know its long sorry but please please bear with me a little more.

The next day we were still close and i had to go back home for the day. Later that night he had a beach party to attend near my place and ask if he could see me. Missing him i agreed and we stayed together and again i followed him home to stay the night. We got intimate again without intercourse. But the next morning, i felt a shift in his behavior. Where he was touchy and soft and tender he seemed a bit distant and definetely not touchy. I did not try to force it so i let it go and thought that it would pass.

I got home and it didnt stop bugging me all day. He was with his friends that day and got to practice his favourite hobby: riding his motorcycle upon long distances. I did not contact him to let him think things through. The next morning i got a message stating that he needed to be honest with me and that he thought that we might have gone too fast. Well duh obviously. And he said that he probably still loved his ex. Again i already knew that, knowing that he puts his all in his relationships, i did not expect a lot buy having stupidly mixed my emotions with the whole thing, it still hurt a bit. I brushed it off while acknowledging it and telling him that i completely understood although i did not told him that it hurt me. We continued with the texting and at some point he stopped replying. Nothing strange here, he does that quite often and i normally dont mind. But that night my anxiety got the best of me and i sent him another text asking him if he was ok. No reply. I slept lightly and the nest morning when i woke up i send another again asking practically begging if he was ok. This time he replied saying that he forgot my text and then slept off. Having slept little and my anxiety coming down i replied a bit coldly that i was going to sleep. He asked me if i was angry and i lied and said that i was just anxious. That was the last text that i sent him. Yesterday mark one week since that exchange and no text from him. I would usually go to him bit having angered me, i thought for once if he was ready to continue then why not come to me? I was wrong. Well i still like his posts on facebook etc but thats to show that im still here and waiting. With him, i discovered a new side of me: im clingy with the right man. I feel like im a desperate woman in need of attention and he is my salvation. Except that im trying not to push myself on him. Im trying to let him deal with his breakup, even if it hurt, and leave him be. But is he taking my silence as a disinterest? Or is he ignoring me? He once told me that he keep in touch with his exes because he feels the need to keep it friendly but then why im i getting the silent treatment. Yeah i just need to go to him but once upon a time he was the one chasing me and it did not bother him to text me first so why not now? If i continue to let him be and wait will he come back to me even if its to tell me that it wont work? The silence is killing me. He is a lot more than i think he would be and i got too attached too fast... Can someone help me about this? I know my post is sooo long and i might have forgot some details but whoever is willing to help me, thank you, and ill try my best to answer in details..

he saved you a lot of heartache. it's great. you learned a bit more about yourself. keep in mind, a lot of what you are feeling is down to hormones and chemicals.

step back, think with your head. you've already started to get your feelings involved with a guy who is essentially unavailable.

if you lose your virginity to him, are you going to look back with regret? are you going to one day meet another guy and wish that you had that first experience with him?

if you're wished just to lose it and get it over and done with then, go for it but i'm not convinced you feel that way.

and stop being so clingy! this guy means a lot to you and yes, these hormones are driving most of your behaviour but you have to keep a level head, maturity and maintain your sense of self. don't lose it over a guy you didn't know 6 months ago. there's a lot of life to live, he is not the beginning and end of it.

if you do want to try and develop something with him, your overt neediness will drive him away. don't allow yourself to rise and fall on the basis of someone else's behaviour.