Saving my relationship with a Taurus

Hey,

I am a Libra man and had dated my Taurus boyfriend for two and a half years. Me and my boyfriend had a very happy relationship, we have a lot of trust built and had never really had any large arguments or big hurdles to get through. I used to be quite a people pleaser (something I am working on) and often went out of my way to make my boyfriends day better and make sure he was okay. He is very set in his ways, needs routine and is an extremely career focused person; he brings home his work issues and it often became my responsibility to help him through that and cheer him up after work. I love my Taurus man but I know I should have been more vocal in my relationship about my own needs - however there wasn't really any real issues apart from this. I also was suffering from a drinking problem throughout our relationship that became more obvious in the summer of last year - I am now sober and going through recovery to make sure I dont hurt anyone due to my drinking again.. Me and my boyfriend were talking about moving in together this year, and I really love him more than anything, and I know that he loved me immensely as well.

I told him in February that once, in a drunken and drugged state, I cheated on him with another man - we did not have sex, and it was only this one time but I needed to tell him this happened before we moved in together and furthered our relationship. I love him so much and felt it was necessary for him to know who he was falling in love with. He was so hurt by this, not even by the actual cheating, but by the secrecy and that i didn't tell him for four months.. I broke his trust and this is one of the most important values to him. He broke up with me and told me maybe in the future we can try things out again and i can work at getting his trust back. Since February I have been attending Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been going to therapy, I have removed toxic people from my life, I have worked extremely hard at re-centering my self; not just for him, but for my own sanity and to improve the quality of my life. In March he decided to try to take me back. We hung out four times, and things were really nice; they were not back to normal and I could tell he was guarding himself from me, but I knew he was trying as was I. We had some nice times but after the fourth hangout he told me he didnt know if he could do this. He said something was missing now, and he felt conflicted very often. He loved me but he felt sadness when he looked at me; I told him we could get through this and to give me oppportunities to show him the strength of my love for him, to gain his trust back, and to just show him that I can be the partner he always thought I was. However, he didnt know if he was ready to try again, with a heavy heart and a lot of tears he left me, saying he was still so confused and needed to be alone for longer. We have now been apart for 5 weeks and he has not changed his mind. I know he is very busy working and I imagine this is helping him distract himself emotionally; I am a libra so I am not able to do this as easily as him. I feel him everywhere and cannot focus due to missing him and loving him so much. I just want him back and to show him that I am not defined by my mistake, that my love for him can get us through this.

I am not contacting him since that is what he wants; we are still very amicable with each other. We follow each other on social media. and both care about the other. But things are just so emotional and painful that I understand that he wants to be apart from me. I am just looking for some guidance, I know for Taurus' trust is the most important thing; last time he saw me he told me he was already starting to build trust with me - he said he trusted that I loved him, and that I wouldn't mess things up again and that I was taking my self growth seriously. But he said he just felt different, there was a lot of pain and he didn't know if he wanted, or could get through it. I will continue to give him space and keep my distance, I will continue to work on myself and focus on being a better person. Do you think there is hope for the future? Do you think maybe he needs more time, and in his own process he will reach out to me again, even if its just to catch up? Do you think even though he isn't showing it, he misses me? or he still thinks about me?

I love him a lot, he is MY Taurus, he is my man.. I just wish he would let me love him again..

Any sort of insight helps! Thanks!

get yourself sorted out, leave him alone, seems he deserves some space?

Posted by libralovestaurus
I told him in February that once, in a drunken and drugged state, I cheated on him with another man - we did not have sex, and it was only this one time but I needed to tell him this happened before we moved in together and furthered our relationship.

If the two of you didn't have sex exactly....then what did you do?

Why did you feel the need to tell him?

Honestly,

I strongly believe that you should have kept it to yourself, realized the repercussions for your actions, and sought help right away for your alcohol codependency. I understand that as a Libra (my sister is one) there was a need to open that verbal line of communication to establish trust. However that trust was already broken when you were non-sexually intimate with someone else, so the verbal clarification is actually irrelevant at this point.

With Bulls, it's not what you tell us, it's what you show us. Clarifying what and why you did it does not make the pain go away. With Bulls, Emotions and Possession goes hand in hand. You're his....and during a weak, drunken stupor, his property was in the hands of someone else. He's always going to look at it that way....and you kept it a secret for four months which further damages any visuals he had about some guy making out with his man that night. You REALLY should have kept it to yourself!...and just fixed the problem!

I like Libras...😉

So I am going to advise you how to fix it.

He's a Bull, so only he has the power to change his mind...not you.

So no more talking....he doesn't need to be reminded.

Bulls are simplistic, your credbility is already shot. Your explanation will not be taken into consideration from an abstract perspective.

It's not what you do when you're in his presence, it's what you do when you're not in his presence.

1. Avoid dating anyone else, regardless of how resilient your Bull is to take you back.

2. Continue to work on yourself spiritually.

3. Stay out of the club scenes for awhile.

4. Touch base with your Bull every once in awhile.

This is the only way he will reverse his decision. Watching you from a distance....without feeling pressured to make his decision.

This will require a great deal of patience on your part.

Winning him back will not be easy.

A Taurus male perspective. That would hurt me, a lot.

Because somewhere deep in our mind. We will not have peace with what happened... I've often taken people back that do this. But whenever we have conflict. It always goes back to that one time you did "said action" and it hurts.. I think we truly never get over. And we know it.

It is very hard for us to let go from a relationship... and we take it slowly... but I'll be honest. From my perspective; I know even though I loved that person and I would want them... things would just not ever be the same for me. And it hurts a lot because we care but something about looking into someone's eyes and just thinking of how they were secretive or went behind my back is just something we can't get out of our head. Ever. At least from this bull... So sorry.

Are you sure you are looking at this with clear eyes?

No big fights but you felt resentment (?) at being the one to cheer him up? Being a people pleaser, stuffing down your own needs for his, mixing with toxic people, drinking to excess, seeking comfort in another.

This doesn't sound all that happy. It sounds like you were acting out your frustrations.

Posted by libralovestaurus
Do you think in time he will reach out? even if its just to talk and tie up loose ends? or do you think he will move on and not look back? I know i can make him proud of me once again, i know i can be strong and honest and loyal - i just need him to give me a chance to show him this.

Take the advice.

He will eventually come around.

Be patient.



Stay out the clubs....😉

I am rooting for you libralovetaurus....