Taurus' Inability to...take a chance?

I don't know if this is a strong characteristic of a Taurus, but I am a Taurus female. Birth chart:

Rising Sign is in 07 Degrees Scorpio
Sun is in 24 Degrees Taurus
Moon is in 19 Degrees Gemini
Mercury is in 28 Degrees Aries
Venus is in 07 Degrees Cancer
Mars is in 23 Degrees Cancer
Jupiter is in 06 Degrees Leo
Saturn is in 06 Degrees Aquarius
Uranus is in 13 Degrees Capricorn
Neptune is in 16 Degrees Capricorn
Pluto is in 18 Degrees Scorpio

My problem: I find it extremely hard to take a chance. I find it physically crippling to think about a male interest of mine rejecting me. I almost always need for someone to reassure me at first, and even then, if anything further happens I overanalyze like crazy. I come off as so distant to a lot of people because I force myself not to take the chances I know I should, and I tell myself that I'm strong and that I am going to be okay and that I will be better off. I do love the idea of a relationship, sharing the comforts of life with someone else, but I just can't...allow myself to get there. This Taurus does, admittedly, have some confidence problems, seeing as males usually never approach me which makes me tell myself that I go unnoticed. I have been told otherwise many times but it seems to be that was consistently.

My question for you: If you are a Taurus female who overcame this, how did you do it? How did you stop being your own worst enemy?

I'm not a Taurus, but I'm very familiar with "your kind".

One conclusion I can draw about Bulls are you love security. You're like little kids with blankets. You're given that blanket at birth. You take it with you for your first shot, your first day of Pre-School, when you're sick, etc. Eventually, you have to let go of that security blanket and go to middle school 😛.

(Really hoping you got the message through my extended metaphor 😛)

The first step is to establish security within yourself. Not looking to tangible objects, or people, to justify your significance. How you go about doing so, I really can't tell you. (Really, my well has run dry. I've got no more advice. 🙂)

Hi Trans! My daughter is a Taurus..she is like you somewhat. A great Taurus lady on here once described Taurus as being an "attractor" sign. They draw people in. I also think your scorpio rising make you seem a aloof so men may not approach because they don't want to be rejected. Practice with guys you don't like and see if you can build up some confidence. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women out there who will chase guys shamelessly. Eventually the one guy who can see through that will find you!

Posted by TheLadySagittarius
Hi Trans! My daughter is a Taurus..she is like you somewhat. A great Taurus lady on here once described Taurus as being an "attractor" sign. They draw people in. I also think your scorpio rising make you seem a aloof so men may not approach because they don't want to be rejected. Practice with guys you don't like and see if you can build up some confidence. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women out there who will chase guys shamelessly. Eventually the one guy who can see through that will find you!

Every girl I am surrounded by (when I have to be surrounded by people, heh) will actively grab whomever they want. They will chase, and almost always acquire so, although this mindset has been with me since a very young age, you can see why it has spiraled out of control lately. I have been told that I seem aloof, whenever things do happen between people they almost always question if I truly never realized their advances and I genuinely never had. If I do I tend to laugh it off, I force being aloof because its the best way to stay secure. Silly me.

Don't. Jump in, the water's fine...

The problem is you. I can relate because I have been the same way at times. For starters the reason men have trouble approaching you is intimidation. You say you come off as distant... which is not a very welcoming characteristic for a man. The appearance you give is one of disinterestedness, though it's just your security blanket. People you just met may even assume you are stuck up... though you are just reserved and observing. Of course it all comes back to rejection, we all despise it and avoid it at all cost.... both giving and receiving. The way to overcome it is to let go.... to take a chance, to step out and experience the good and the bad.... love can be a double edged sword sometimes. I saw this video the other day that was very thought provoking.... it's only 20 minutes. Give it a chance it addresses this subject.... http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html<BR>
Good Luck!

I came to the rather stunning realization that everything comes with risk. That you cannot breeze through life walled away from and shored up from it. Ultimately that makes self the loser. No one else. Cue into your feelings, your triggers. Really grub deep and examine the chinks in your armor honestly. No b.s. straight down the line TRUTH. Open your eyes to possibility. Don't close them and retreat to a 'safe place', because where is that exactly..yes. Keeping company with the same old tired ass cranial guests "Self-doubt", "Fear", "Impediment" and "Ovarian Random Vomit". These are the internal bitches you need to not only wrestle to the floor, but grab hold of with both hands and choke the shit clean on out of them.
Rejection at times is just a part of that whole whacky wonderland known as life. Does not everything still hold joy. Do not the birds still sing, the peach taste as sweet? Yes they do, yes it does. Don't go through life fearing it, grab it. We are gone soon enough like milkweed puffs on the breeze. Get yours.

I hear you transcendent bull. I give mad props to my sista's like VenusianBull, and some others who are able to forge on after you feel like your heart has been literally ripped from your chest. There is an expression, "Once bitten, twice shy." It's hard to jump in there (for me) just to know that there is that HIGH probability that the BS is gonna happen again.
But I agree with your point VB, that rejection/relationship failure(s), etc are ALL a part of life. I just take the ish one day at a time ... that's the best I can do, I make no other promises.
*grabs my security blanket and slinks back to my candle lit, decadent food supplied and wine flowing back of cave 😉*

*fist held high* Thank you so much USC. 🙂

D'accord Mademoiselle 🙂

Posted by transcendentbull


My question for you: If you are a Taurus female who overcame this, how did you do it? How did you stop being your own worst enemy?

how old are you? taurus usually is self-conscious...in youth...or until we embrace ourselves for who and what we are.

take janet jackson for example. she's beautiful, big or small, and yet, she has that inherent taurean self-doubt with regard to beauty and relationships.

venus is vain and i think she causes a bit of neurosis. where libra is easily able to embrace beauty within self, we embrace beauty in other people/things. if we don't see beauty in ourselves, we're more likely to obsess over/be ashamed of our deficiencies.

i also think taurus is typically an introverted sign and this can be strengthened/mitigated by your chart. for myself, where i'm introverted and shy at my core, if i'm around people who mirror these traits, i'm far more aggressive and outgoing. their being quiet/reserved actually annoys me and forces me to step outside of my comfort zone.

flip that, if i'm around a bunch of extroverted strangers, i'm more reserved. i'm probably trying to figure out who's fake/annoying/unnecessarily loud. when i can narrow in on the "real" people, i'm far more relaxed and outgoing (with them). thus, my taurean sun and 12th house (pisces) influences make me introverted BUT i also have a ton of aries in my chart that when tickled in the right way can make me very aggressive, outgoing, loud, etc.

wrote all that to say, take some time with your chart. taurus is PART of it, but may not be the root.

ie, your ascendent is how people see you (creepy ass, non-trusting scorpio) and given that you have mars in cancer, that may be far more at the root of your insecurity than taurus itself:

read: http://cafeastrology.com/scorpio_ascendantrisingsign.html http://cafeastrology.com/articles/marsinsigns.html

My husband is sun, mercury & venus in Taurus and he loves change and challenge. It could be his aspects. But I also have Taurus family members who are big gamblers so they aren't afraid of taking risks. This whole Tauruses are sticks in the mud thing really doesn't play with me after what I've seen. They're crazier than me! Your venus and mars in Cancer combined with your sun is probably what reinforces your need for security which makes you adverse to risk.

Posted by taurusdragon
For starters the reason men have trouble approaching you is intimidation. You say you come off as distant... which is not a very welcoming characteristic for a man. The appearance you give is one of disinterestedness, though it's just your security blanket. People you just met may even assume you are stuck up... though you are just reserved and observing. Give it a chance it addresses this subject.... http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html<BR>
Good Luck!

I am Libra and have been told this same thing by both men and women alike. This is so ironic. I see myself as chatty Cathy, but I do not flirt in the usual manner, being Libra, I am very subtle and mild. Wow!

I am just like that, not wanting to take a chance, but I talk myself into it. Even when I am already spending time with a guy, Ill ask him how he feels about something and if he gives a positive review, when the time comes for it, I'll talk myself into it. He's already said he wouldnt mind it, so despite the "plunge" it takes to do it, I push myself with the thought that I would rather do it than miss the chance.

I have friends that I am comfortable with asking a million questions about how they would feel if they were the guy I want to deal with and I did anything I might imagine I want to do. Getting the perspective of others makes me more comfy, which is why Im on sites like this in the first place. I wouldnt say Im shy but Im TERRIBLY bashful. The guy Im currently involved with used to take it as disinterest until I explained to him that its a sort of shyness but as I get to know him it will subside. Then I hold up my deal and talk myself into trying new things, like....looking him in the eye EVERY time we talk. Seems simple,but alas I am THAT bashful, atleast in the beginning.

Wow, very interesting subject, I just watched the video that taurusdragon suggested - highly recommended. I don't think that only tauruses struggle with this.

My advice - don't reject yourself before getting rejected for real, and even if you do get rejected at least you know that you tied your hardest so it doesn't hurt as much as giving up without a fight.

I suffered from this for years, I wouldn't take chances and I'd seem aloof and uninterested, when the reality was I was almost crying out to be understood and to want to take those chances that people threw at me to be involved emotionally. But usually I'd build a wall around myself and not bother and then feel very self-pitying when it didn't work out, unsurprisingly. And then I realised that living a life without at least chancing my emotional health with someone else would be very unfulfilling. And since then I've had some great relationships, even though, until the Aqau I'm dating now, they haven't lasted. You learn from every relationship, even when it ends in a crippling emotional way, you learn something - how you like someone to act, how you don't, how you want to react to a situation, how you don't etc - so I'm grateful for all those experiences, because without those I wouldn't have been able to grow as an individual. And yes, it hurts when a relationship breaks down even though you thought everything was good and yes it hurts when you have to finish a relationship because you're not getting everything you need, but these are learning curves, so when we meet someone worthy of our time, we can expect and give the best we can.

Always take a chance. As cheesy as it is, it's always beter to regret the things we do than the things we don't do 🙂