Taurus man comes back

A few months ago I dated a Taurus man for almost 2 months. I am libra. He said that he wanted our relationship to be a secret for some time because as he knew some of my family members he wanted to be sure and not to be exposed. I went along with it for a little while when I brought the matter up and he said that because he doesn't have a stable job he wanted to sort things out in that area and that it would be better to stop seeing each other and see in the future what will happen.

I didn't believe him at all. In fact I deep down knew that the real reason was something else. I discovered that he was talking with someone else so as to go out for a drink( he and his friends along with hers, and I know this because I know the girl he was talking to but he doesn't!) while he was with me and after we broke up. When I discovered this, I confronted him but he didn't admit it.

A month ago he sent me a text message commenting on a picture I posted on FB. At the time, I was dating someone else and I responded with just a simple thanks. The next day, I went out with my then bf and he saw me. I pretended I didn't see him. He sent me a text message again the next day asking how I was doing etc. I asked him why the sudden contact and he replied that he had arranged all of his personal problems and he wanted to talk. I politely asked him to stop sending me messages as I am in a relationship but even if I wasn't, we wouldn't be together because I don't trust him. He said that he was really disappointed and he wished I had waited a little longer for us to be together!!!!!! He also said that he was ready for something serious and he wanted to meet my family.... :p

In my opinion, he took me for granted but when he saw me with the other guy and realized that someone else has taken his 'toy', he freaked out. What do you think?

I did have a good time while we were dating but there are trust issues. I don't think things can be the same again because I will always think that he is talking to someone else or he will suddenly disappear again one day. I don't have a problem talking to him as a friend but we haven't spoken for a month now. If I contact him, won't he think that I only talk to him because I need him somehow?

Posted by jane85

In my opinion, he took me for granted but when he saw me with the other guy and realized that someone else has taken his 'toy', he freaked out. What do you think?

You were not his 'toy' but one of his options in his harem of women. Your Taurus simply wants to preserve his options until he makes his selection. Very selfish of course, but internally rationalized as a means of taking safe precautionary measures instead.

Two months wasn't along time to make that determination.

However, if there was absolute certainty, and he still opted to move with caution, the 'harem' wouldn't have existed, there would be no other woman.

Your only dilemma would have been the slow pace, and his inability to express himself emotionally.

He's a Bull, we're possessive by nature. But love with a Bull is NEVER 'indecisive' or 'uncertain.'
It's all or nothing. You and I. You're my man. I'm your woman. Nothing else. No one else.

But in your case, his possessive streak is kicking in for all the disingenuous reasons. It's simply a matter of selfishness. Wanting to preserve his harem until a selection is made.

You have a right to believe you deserve better.

Good Luck to you.

I don't understand why they need a harem and not have a normal relationship? If it doesn't work then move on.

I sent him a text yesterday saying that in my last text I was very aggressive and that if we see each other somewhere I don't have a problem talking to him. We have mutual friends and they would ask why we suddenly stopped talking and I want to avoid that.

I didn't get a reply!!!! Is he 'punishing' or plain ignoring me?!

TaurusBull1977 has explained it exceptionally well... As always.

Read her words.

You might have trouble understanding the why's and the how's etc and it might sound odd to you but she's telling you this is how your bull works.

I'll regurgitate TB77's words to try and direct you to the answer...

He has a 'harem' of girls which provide him with options. He has this because he likes to take his time deciding what or who he wants.

He might eventually be a one woman man but he won't get there until he's exhausted his options, sampled the goods, had a different date for each day of the week etc or whatever or however he goes about it.

Once he's done the above then he'll make up his mind and go for it but clearly he's not at this stage yet.

He didn't like that you tried leaving or had left his harem. As TB says, bulls are possessive so he saw you as belonging to him... Along with whoever else there is!

In my opinion, coupled with TB's last paragraph, him not liking you leave the harem could be easily mistaken by you (or any other girl in a similar situation) for thinking you're the 'chosen one' or 'special' or that he 'really likes you'. He probably does or did like you but obviously not enough to be 'exclusive'. Why? Because he hasn't exhausted his harem and options yet. That bit is just my observation on it.

My suggestion is that if you're not happy being in his harem etc or you want something more or different then find someone else.

As for your text, it probably didn't warrant a reply.

If you were informing him of something or stating something about if you were to see each other you'd be civil etc then he's probably acknowledged it to himself and that's it.

What reply were you hoping for?

I wasn't really hoping for an answer because I can't be with him due to me not trusting him. I can't think of myself going through the same BS again (hiding me, having his mobile on silent or putting it down with the screen facing the table and knowing that he was talking with someone else!)

A month ago, I told him that I saw the messages he sent to that other girl with my own eyes but he didn't admit it.

As you said it was just a statement. He texted me a while ago saying 'ok'.

There you go then. He acknowledged you.

Good luck with getting a bloke to admit to anything!!

I went out with my friends 2 days ago and he was there too. I saw him but he didn't see me (I thought).

I got a text message yesterday from him saying that he saw me the other day but because there were too many ppl with me he was embarassed to come and talk to me.

I replied and he started talking to me about irrelevant things.

I know that he will slowly make his move to approach me again and I don't want to fall into his trap. Is there a chance that he is serious about it or is it the same old taurus BS?

Or is it like a bet with himself to see if he can take me back to his harem? :p

Posted by jane85
I don't understand why they need a harem and not have a normal relationship? If it doesn't work then move on.

Two months is not a normal relationship. It's a courting phase, a revelation phase, an assessment phase, a learning phase, you like him? you love him? You don't know him well enough to make that determination.

...And guess what, he doesn't know YOU well enough to make that determination.

Not every opportunity that presents itself, screams RELATIONSHIP. Not every Bull is content on the idea of jumping through numerous relationships to find the perfect candidate. Too much work. Too much investment...and no real return made on that investment!

Our movements are purely instinctual, we either have a good feeling about you or we don't.

We see longevity or we don't.

There is no universal empirical formula for weening out the harem of a Taurus.

This will depend on the Bull's Venus and Moon placements (possible rising sign, too).

Your suggestion for jumping into a relationship prematurely, and simply moving on when it doesn't work out shows no real stability on your part.
"I don't understand why they need a harem and not have a normal relationship? If it doesn't work then move on."

This may work for you, but it's not going to 'rock' for a Bull.

I think you've got him all figured out. A lot of women are so easily manipulated by a Taurus male's charm they often don't question his motives. I think you should steer clear away from this guy... Taurus men always run back to past relationships when ever they currently have nothing going for them. Trust is everything and if you cannot trust him then there is no point. Your instinct seemed to be right the first time, what does it say this time? Go with your gut! xx

And yes he contacted me again as suspected, saying that he went on a beach the other day and if we were together it would be better :s

I told him that IF and reality have a big difference and he replied that he would really like us to be together again. Of course I told him that there is an issue of trust and if I can't trust him we can't be together.

He insists that he is serious about it but I think that he wants what he can't have and as soon as he gets it I will be back to square one.

What do you guys think?

Posted by jane85
And yes he contacted me again as suspected, saying that he went on a beach the other day and if we were together it would be better :s

You should have fun with it. Should've texted back "Oooh, wish I was there straddling you, rubbing lotion all over your strong back." Then don't completely ignore him for a couple weeks.

If he dumped you to talk to another girl, I don't know why but that sounds very familiar in my dealings with Taurus men. However as the others stated, they always came back once that option they thought was so hot, turned out to not to be what they thought. Taurus men take their sweet time in matters of serious relationships for the same reason Libra??s take long to make a decision about pretty much everything. (I'm a libra too.lol) I say you tread very carefully with him, because chances are he has not changed in a matter of months. Try being his friend ONLY his friend. Do not date him on that romantic level until you are so sure that he's serious that you don't even have to write on DXP.net.
With Love??_I'm talking true love with a Taurus; think turtle slow??_quick sand slow??_SLOW SLOW SLOW. You??d be wise to keep some options of your own. Me personally I??d be careful not to flaunt those options in the Taurus face though because it will back fire. He doesn't get jealous and fuss like normal guys, he gets jealous and leaves. Period.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by jane85
And yes he contacted me again as suspected, saying that he went on a beach the other day and if we were together it would be better :s

You should have fun with it. Should've texted back "Oooh, wish I was there straddling you, rubbing lotion all over your strong back." Then don't completely ignore him for a couple weeks.

click to expand

what the? lol. Are you joking?

what the? lol. Are you joking?

>>>I was, but I meant *to* completely ignore him after that.