my new year started with direct closure

The guy I have been interested in since Oct 2013 finally began pursuing me Dec 2014 until the end of last year. Occasionally he would try calling me around midnight-4 am when he was inebriated (not cute) to which I always expressed disdain. We got in a bit of a fight December 18 and then he called me twice December 31-January 1st (technically Jan 1) at 4:35 am and texted me to come over...lol...how about no buddy. How about no. I was sleeping. I spent NYE watching Star Wars with my mom. We had a fun little girls night. Once I woke up to his messages/calls I was pretty irritated and had to make a practical decision on how to reply. I think a lot of girls on this site need to know that there are others who make the same mistakes as them and should be able to find the strength to blatantly end things/say what you need to say.

My descendant is Aries so... "with Aries in your 7th house you’ll find yourself entering into a committed love and sexual partnership quickly. This could be an indication of an early marriage. Your relationship will always have an element of heat and strife but if Aries is in your 7th house, that’s exactly how you prefer it." IN OTHER WORDS....action comes before thought. I'm impulsive in love, and with my Venus in Scorpio, it's basically me diving in without thinking but becoming totally dedicated mentally to them. I basically screw myself unintentionally, but I'm trying to get better at it...it's just difficult.

That being said you know where this is going. The guy I was seeing had an Aries Venus/Sag Mars. He also had Cap moon/ascendant with a Cap stellium. All hard aspects to his Venus, including the moon. This was my final message to him, to which he didn't reply but I didn't expect him to. I just hope he understood. I will keep my eyes fixed on the future.

"I'm not a booty call. sorry. if you want me, you can treat me like a human being and converse with me like an adult. if you don't, then go away and keep fucking other girls with no emotions or intellectual value connected to them. it seems to be working out very well for you. I value myself more than how I'm being treated. my first mistake was giving in to you, but I just wanted you but I wanted you in all forms and for you to have me. it was a naive mistake and I'm impulsive, but I've learned from it for the future. I like sex but I also don't give a shit about it. I care about what another person has to say and what their mind says. I used to have interesting conversations with you and that's what I was attracted to on top of your attractive appearance. you were my ideal "full package". you've always known I cared about you and took advantage of it with no return in mind for me. I've had a terrible week, filled with pain, confusion and loss of self/values for other reasons. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay but all I have is myself. I'm tired of being so alone and mistreated, but I will always stay strong for my friends."

I tried not to throw in sarcasm, but it comes with the Scorpio in me LOL. I tried keeping it as direct and heartfelt as possible without being a baby about everything. I had very distressful news come in after Christmas which directly affected me. I have been strong. My friends told me they can't believe how calm I have been in the midst of everything, but I truly believe in being strong for my friends and being the light as much and as often as I can be. I will never be a part of "misery loves company" and drag others down with me in that misery. Instead I focus on the positives and try to spread that positive energy. It is all I can hope for and strive for in hard times.

Him telling me to come over at 4:35 am...with no other conversation made me feel distress on top of everything else. I wanted to be a lunatic but told myself that would get me nowhere. I dialed it down and wrote this for both my closure and for his understanding. I showed my Leo and Aries best friends and they both said it was good and to the point. I think that instead of trying to convince ourselves that these men "might" care for us we have to be direct and tell them what it is that we both want and feel inside. If it is not on the same wavelength as them, there are plenty of others out there who are looking for the same thing as us. I refuse to be strung along. I may have made mistakes, but I am not afraid to overcome them or face them directly. Life goes on, and we can't look back or dwell on what wasn't meant to be.

I think you handled him very well, you spoke very clearly and confidently on where you stand....men are interesting

His whole MO sounds like he viewed you as an object and he was testing you with his fuckery attempts of "interest" if that's the term we can use for his ridiculous reasons for contact

You did well and now you can move on and enjoy the caliber of man that is befitting for you


Applause 😉

Did he reply?

Posted by Greek_Indigo_Sag
I think what you did was right. I also think the next step in your progress is to add a little Sriracha mayo to your tempura roll...I promise it will help 🙂

will do 😄

yes it was difficult but needed to be done! I was dangling by a thread, and I was sick of it. At one point he was genuinely interested. That was before I became impulsive and rushed into things, but live and learn as I always say. I always knew not to be impulsive...but here I am lol. lesson learned!

Posted by BrightLight
Did he reply?

No he didn't, but I didn't expect him to. He kind of his an avoidant personality and never confronts an issue head-on. Whenever I would confront him, he'd say "I hate when you act like that." Truth is, he loved when I acted like that. It's in his Aries Venus/Sag Mars blood. His Juno is in Aries too, so he likes confrontational women, but he himself can't really handle confrontation too well. He just goes into his hole and hides there. I am glad I said what I needed to say though, whether he ever responds or not. I am guessing he is cutting the tie for now after my confrontation. As much as I want to be, I wont be sad about it. Life was made for lessons, and this is just another one that I have learned.

Posted by tiziani
The calm before the storm.

😱 hopefully no more storms for me.

I just want to live in quiet peace and harmony. I notice you aren't throwing shade anymore btw (tagline). I am proud :')

As for the topic, sigh. You know me and my Venus aspects. I just run around screaming "love" and all the men just run away screaming. LOL what is a girl to do.

Posted by balblair
I think you handled him very well, you spoke very clearly and confidently on where you stand....men are interesting

His whole MO sounds like he viewed you as an object and he was testing you with his fuckery attempts of "interest" if that's the term we can use for his ridiculous reasons for contact

You did well and now you can move on and enjoy the caliber of man that is befitting for you


Applause 😉

yes who knows what his MO was. He started off very interested and genuine. Drove me to the airport once last minute. I missed the flight and he came back. The airport is far from where we live, so many guys at my workplace commented on it like "I wouldn't even do that for my mother" (lol what champs). Then I just got in the heat of the moment like an impulsive little kid and I guess it was my own fault for rushing into things. I've definitely learned my lesson. We win some, we lose some. He'll come crawling back out of his hole eventually. I just have to make sure I stick to my guns and don't fall for anymore game playing. I was definitely direct with my last message, so hopefully he gets the picture!