Advices on how to handle this Virgo man

Hi everyone,
One of my friends recommended me this forum so I thought I might come and ask you some advices on how to handle this Virgo man.

We met in early September through a dating site (thing I had never done before). We instantly clicked and started spending a lot of time together. He was always so attentive, careful, polite, always complimenting me, buying me everything, etc. After only 2 weeks, he kissed me and we dated that night. Spent the night together but just hugging and cuddling, no sex. The next day he was perfect: called me, came by my place with a bag full of groceries cuz I had told him my fridge was empty. I was in 7th heaven.
Then after 2 days, he told me he wanted to stop everything and go back to where we were before, take our time. He also admitted he had met a girl a couple weeks before he met me (she lives 200 miles away). They had kissed one night but he didn't want to hurt any of us so he prefered to be single for the moment while figuring things/his life out (he had lost his grandpa who he was very close to and has a lot of stress at work). He told me he really loved me and didn't want to lose me.
So we kept seeing each other. He introduced me to all of his best friends, his colleagues. He would take me everywhere (movies, concerts, to the park, dinner, etc). His attitude hadn't changed. He was always very tactile, holding me in his arms, hugging me, always paying for everything, etc.
Then, 2 weeks later, he suddenly told me that he wanted to be friends with me cuz he had seen that girl again and they had started dating??_ Although she lives 200 miles away, he wanted to give it a try. Of course, I was heartbroken.
Since then, he has just been on and off, blowing hot and cold. He can be so lovely to me and the next day, pay no attention whatesoever to me.
Now, I want him back. Especially that, although he pretends he wants to be friends, he always has a very ambiguous attitude. As I said, he is always hugging me, holding me in his arms, texting me, etc. A couple weeks ago, we went out and had too much to drink so I crashed at his place and ended up sharing his bed. He woke me up a couple times cuz he was spooning or stroking my hair and kissing my forehead while I was sleeping. He has even invited me to go on holiday and spend NY??E with him and his friends. On the other hand, since he started dating her, he travels the 200 miles every 2 weekends to see her and has introduced her to his brother.

One of his friends has told me to quit because he wants to TRY with the other girl. But another one told me to just be patient cuz he really cares for me.
My Virgo has been on a business trip for the past 2 weeks. The last time we saw each other, I took him to a concert that he didn't like. And he did nothing to pretend otherwise. He was so distant and almost disrespectful. I was not feeling good for personal reasons (including him) and he noticed it but just left me there while I asked if we could go for a drink afterwards cuz I needed to change my mind. He said it wasn't a good idea cuz now he has a girlfriend ??_ WTF? So it's been a month since we last talked. I might see him on Thursday cuz I'm going for a drink with one of his bestfriends.

What do you think? Do I stand a chance to win him back? What should I do?
From what I read, he has the typical Virgo reaction : not knowing what he wants and testing people. Is that it?
Part of me feels like I have to go and tell him he hurt me and that he has to make a choice cuz I can't go on like that. That he has to man up and take responsibilites for his choices and actions. But it might be too radical and —violent?? for a Virgo.
The other part feels like I should play it smart and stay around and subtly win him back. But how?
Or maybe I should just pretend nothing never happened ? Or ignore him once in a while and then pretend I never ignored him?
Should I be really understanding and just let him know that he hurt me but I forgive him? Or should I be more radical and tell him I really think he lacked respect for me and that he should man up?
Of course I won't insult him or yell at him. That's so not me. But I wanna be firm and let him know that I am hurt. I still don't know if I wanna tell him I want him out of my life for now. Or don't tell him but stay away from him for awhile?

Please. Help me.
This whole story is keeping me up at night especially since I might see him on Thursday.
I'm ready to hear anything you have to tell me. Even that I don't stand a chance. But please, give me your honest opinion and advice.

Thanks a lot.

"But another one told me to just be patient cuz he really cares for me."

NO he does not, otherwise he would not be doing any of the other stuff. Don't even try to analyse his actions - they are not worth analysing. If he cared for you you would know it and he wouldn't be having anything going on with anyone else.

"What should I do?"

Nothing, except get some self love going on.

"From what I read, he has the typical Virgo reaction : not knowing what he wants and testing people. Is that it?"

No, this is not a "typical virgo reaction".

"Please. Help me."

Ok - forget him. That's all the help you need.

The hell? All that time you knew about another woman while you two were together, & he even told you about her! And you still want to be with him because...—

He wants to be single my ass. He wants to be with the other woman & take you along for the ride. Please don't misconstrue him introducing you to family &/or friends as something genuine. In most cases it is, but it doesn't apply here because he's with another woman. Also what was the big hurry to introduce you to them anyway? I believe if & when a man does that, he waits months before any introductions if he is really serious about her & knows that she's the one he wants to be with. 2 weeks is too quick IMO. I know all situations are different, but damn.

Yes I do believe you should tell him how you feel about it, but don't put up with that bullshit. You're willing to be with him even though he has someone else? Come on now, don't allow him to disrespect you that way. You look really desperate & needy. He will smell that & take you for granted, & he will not appreciate you.

"Yes I do believe you should tell him how you feel about it, but don't put up with that bullbutter. You're willing to be with him even though he has someone else? Come on now, don't allow him to disrespect you that way."

Personally I don't think she should disrespect herself anymore by telling him how she feels - he doesn't even deserve this much from her. He doesn't deserve her thoughts or feelings.

True indeed, but if it'll make her feel better, hey...

I was with a virgo for a long long time and know many of them. If a virgo tells u he is not ready, take his word for it.

"Part of me feels like I have to go and tell him he hurt me and that he has to make a choice cuz I can't go on like that. That he has to man up and take responsibilites for his choices and actions. But it might be too radical and —violent?? for a Virgo."

Hate to be blunt, but this guy already made his choice long ago. anytime a guy directly tells you he is interested in another woman and is willing to travel to be with her, he's made his choice.

He's playing you and taking advantage of your feelings for him. Relationships should be mutual. He did the usual Virgo "push pull" thing, but once he did that, he basically moved on in his mind and left you thinking you still had a chance with him. One of the Virgos on this board whom I greatly respect calls this "keeping you around or getting you hooked"....honestly Virgo or not, it's totally disrespectful and selfish imho.

Do yourself a favor. Move on and find someone who can love you exclusively. Guys aren't like women. When women are attracted to a guy, we think I'm going to date this guy and see if he's "the one." When a man goes out with a woman, while she's thinking this relationship is exclusive, he's still checking out all his other options. That's the way men are wired. Until you date a man who tells you point blank that YOU are the one he wants to date and develop a relationship with, you have to protect yourself. MANY women get hurt because of this. We think because we are committed, so to then is the man. This is NOT always the case.

Move on, find another guy who is honest with you, and whatever you do, don't tell him how much he hurt you. He doesn't care. Don't give him anymore power. Hold onto to your dignity, reclaim your confidence, and kick him to the curb! (figuratively speaking of course.) 😉