Affection

I don't know whether this is just me or something also shared by some virgos (or other signs as well), but I'm curious to find it.

Do you ever find yourself craving affection and attention, but when you receive it, you sort of don't know what to do with it? You find yourself at a loss and going back into your shell for a little, even though you realize that this is what you've been asking for.

Any thoughts on this?

Yeah, i use to do this, but I felt like a spoiled brat, and i was one for quite some time. I only wanted to be admired if i felt the need to do so; ex: getting a raise, graduating, winning stuff, anniversary.

I don\'t like random praises, i find them demeaning because i feel the comment is made to be spoken out of pity and/or to kiss up to somebody.

ex: my lazy ass sitting in front of my desk reading a book when a woman comes up to me and tells me that I have a nice looking jaw. I look at her, and i get an awkward feeling, but then i remember that it is illegal to kill people for saying such comments, so i say, \"yeah, i know\" and great her with my ghetto formality of \"SUP BRAH, ## $ # $ # $ # $ # $ \" and make sure she finds me creepy and/or weird. 😉

Fuck it, shit happens. You can\'t do anything about it, except let shit happen!

yeah, i got you loud and clearly! 😄

Haha, I totally understood all of that, and it made so much sense to me. I too feel a little selfish when I sit here, craving something, and then when it's actually given to me, I find myself unable to return it just the way I imagined. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting here completely incompetent; but it's like, I find myself feeling a little... flabbergasted and overwhelmed. I agree that it's something I don't truly expect even when it's something I desire for a certain amount of time.

(To be perfectly honest, when I wrote this, I was very emotional, and usually the day before the magical wonderment of girlhood arrives, I'm an emotional mess -- albeit, not noticeable by many)

But all in all, it's such an interesting and disappointing concept. I DEFINITELY get this way when I'm receiving attention and affection from more than one person. I thought about starting a thread about this, but I get too overwhelmed if I'm suddenly attracting a lot of guys at once. Now, this doesn't happen all the time, but in random bursts. There will be times where I'm attracting no one, and then times when 3 guys suddenly want me. It's almost too much, and I just kind of shut down.

Ironically, seeing that my venus is in leo, it's something I crave, yet I can't completely process it all and make it work for me in the way I want to (in some ways yes, but I still feel like a deer in headlights half the time lol).

This isn't a situation where I say we aren't deserving of the affection we desire. But we are a humble sign, and we live to serve. I feel like, when I get like this, my desires aren't exactly warranted sometimes, so when affection is returned, I feel like I haven't done much to actually be granted this.

I'm also doing some word vomit. You guys get me?