Ask a Virgo!

I am a Virgo sun, Gemini Moon, Ask away!

Why don't you feel the need to communicate your feelings? Yes there's been site after site, person after person discussing this. But I'd like to know WHY from the horses mouth. My Virgo bf really does have feelings for me, but he shows it passive-aggressively. Also, it's like he tests me, by making me wait and keeping me hanging to see how I'm going to react. Why not just ask me how I feel about something. Please don't take offence, I'm truly curious as to why you guys are so secretive. My mom is a virgo and she's secretive too, for absolutely no reason, drives my dad insane. After over 30 years together, he still doesn't understand that part of her.

Oh btw, my bf has a Gemini moon as well

JustWant2bLoved, this is very interesting, as my ex boyfriend (together 9 years) was a Libra!

I cracked a little smile reading your question, because everything you stated is so on point with my personality. It's not that we want to be secretive, it's just truly hard for us to express how we feel, as we are constantly analyzing everything in our heads. You might ask us what is wrong, and there is really 5,000 things swirling in our heads as to what is wrong at this moment in time, and it would take some real work, to get down to the bottom of it and pinpoint the main feeling your inquiring about. I would sit down and try to talk to my ex about how I'm feeling and it would usually fall silent, and I would just think of ways to criticize him instead of expressing how I feel, terrible, I know.

I think part of us Virgos, "enjoy" being so detached, for feeling such emotion, and thinking about how we feel would make us come off as "weak." As for the testing you, that is us fully analyzing how you feel. Inside we are deeply afraid of letting someone know the depths of our workings, you would figure us out if we let you do that! It's a negative trait, I'd say, if someone wrongs us, we'd rather see it pan out, and watch you figure out that were hurt, rather than telling you.

My current boyfriend (capricorn) and I have figured out a system for communication, and know that a relationship cannot thrive without communication. We do check-ins, "how are you feeling up until this point in a relationship? Is there anything I can do better?" He asks. I let him know how I'm feeling about our relationship, within the time frame he suggests, and It's easier for me to compartmentalize and assess my feelings within a certain amount of time, analyze them, and give him the feedback he is requesting. I ask the same of him, and we do this either weekly, or monthly. Even after being with my Libra ex for some odd 9 years, he never figured this out. A calm approach, and a question that has structure, rather than being open ended works best for communication. I would always want my Libra ex to "just figure me out and understand me" rather than telling him the inner workings of my mind. In hindsight this was wrong of me, and very frustrating for him. We like structure, we like rules, and we like to analyze. Ask questions within set perimeters, so there is not too much to analyze at once, or we will not be able to answer your questions.

Hope this helps!

dandy_ray OMG, I don't want to end up like your Libra bf of 9 years!! You guys aren't together anymore 😢. But your answer is so insightful. I'm trying soooooo hard to communicate with my Virgo and get to know him. But he analyzes everything I say and do. I feel like, geez, give me a break, everything is not a conspiracy. I'm just trying to get to know you, something a Libra must have is communication. But yes he definitely likes structure and anytime I "switch up" he hates it. He likes to know that I'm doing the same thing everyday so he can rest easy. But unfortunately that's not my nature. I may go to the gym 3 times one week and then not go for 2 weeks. Nothing's wrong with me and nothing's wrong with the gym, I just want to paint this week. People call Libras wishy-washy and flaky because of this. But I'm not unstable, I just like the variety and spice of life. I'm extremely loyal and will do anything and everything for the ones I love. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly was the final straw between you and your Libra? Did you ever feel passionate love for him?

Interestingly enough, my dad is a Capricorn.

JustWant2bLoved

read your insight about how Virgo's RE: communicating your feelings. I experienced a very heart breaking scenario a year ago involving a male Virgo who also is a Virgo Sun and Gemini moon as yourself. The difference is we were never involved in a romantic relationship. We were very close friends and have been for years. We remained in limited contact over the years. We both are married to our respective spouses; I have a strong marriage and would assume he does too simply because he's been married longer than I as he's older than me.

He invited me to attend an event he was involved with, then when I showed up to say "Hi" to him, he went completely cold and ignored me the rest of the hour I was there. I ended up leaving hurt and completely baffled by his behavior toward me. Even after emailing him a few days later asking him if something was wrong, he never got back with me. I've had to move on despite not having any resolved answers from him.

Question: in your opinion, do Virgo men deal with their feelings and the difficulty expressing them in the same manner with a close friend of the opposite gender as they would someone they are romantically involved with?

Not sure if this had any atypical effect on the scenario, however, I'm a Gemini Sun with Virgo Rising.

Thanks for your input.

Ooops,
my question was actually for dandy_ray.

thanks

how is your relationship with capricorns?

Posted by Justcap66
how is your relationship with capricorns?

With cap boys : very strong attraction, but a big lack of communication. I dont know what we do wrong with caps actually. I don't know any cap female so i cant tell

Posted by JustWant2bLoved
dandy_ray OMG, I don't want to end up like your Libra bf of 9 years!! You guys aren't together anymore 😢. But your answer is so insightful. I'm trying soooooo hard to communicate with my Virgo and get to know him. But he analyzes everything I say and do. I feel like, geez, give me a break, everything is not a conspiracy. I'm just trying to get to know you, something a Libra must have is communication. But yes he definitely likes structure and anytime I "switch up" he hates it. He likes to know that I'm doing the same thing everyday so he can rest easy. But unfortunately that's not my nature. I may go to the gym 3 times one week and then not go for 2 weeks. Nothing's wrong with me and nothing's wrong with the gym, I just want to paint this week. People call Libras wishy-washy and flaky because of this. But I'm not unstable, I just like the variety and spice of life. I'm extremely loyal and will do anything and everything for the ones I love. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly was the final straw between you and your Libra? Did you ever feel passionate love for him?

Interestingly enough, my dad is a Capricorn.

JustWant2bLoved- Although we are no longer together, we have remained friends. Yes, I would say we definitely had a passionate love, we were together off and on from 15-23! It is to my knowledge that Libras don't like to have the guilt of ending things on their conscience. I just knew that we were not meant to be together any longer, so I approached him, and straight up asked him (something I had contemplated for months) if he still wanted to be with me. We had a very in-depth conversation about our relationship, and what we thought each other needed in a partner that we could not offer each other. He thought I needed someone more caring, I thought he needed someone more outgoing, especially in social situations, as I am not. We lived together at that time, and that very night after our conversation I left, we hugged, and said goodbye, we haven't seen each other since. In all actuality, I really thought he wouldn't let me leave, that he wouldn't let me go. (Another Virgo downfall) I secretly wanted him to tell me "don't go, I love you please stay bla bla," or that he would come around in a few weeks. After lots of investigation however, I found out that he had been seeing a co-worker, and even stayed at her apartment one night saying that he was out at the bar with friends. I had been cheated on for who knows how long, and he never came clean with it. Instead he pushed me away, until I could feel the shift, and I had to break it off with him instead. I believe the only reason he was able to let me go, was because he had someone else on the back burner. If she was not there, he might have contacted me again. (Funny thing is they just broke up, she was a Libra too, and treated him exactly how he treated

JustWant2bLoved (continued)me, like I was an option)

It is for this reason that I am very glad to hear that you are a loyal person, for this is what a Virgo needs. There is no room for doubt in our mind, or we will start making up crazy scenarios in our heads for no apparent reason, other than we don't want to get hurt. I understand that you like variety in life, and enjoy switching things up and to get out of routine. You see I enjoyed routine, coming home making dinner for him, laundry, watching tv together etc. but he always wanted to be out doing something different. Don't ever think that is a downfall of yours, because it truly can help you bring your Virgo bf out of his shell. It may help to have a talk, (don't make it sound serious by any means!) perhaps over lunch, spur of the moment, so they have no time to analyze too much. Just briefly state, "hey, I don't want to come off as rude here, but I know I come off as wishy-washy, but it's just in my nature. I get bored with routine, and doing the same things over and over again, and I just wanted to assure you that this is nothing to do with you at all, I love you to pieces, I just try to enjoy every aspect of life." Perhaps try to get interested in things your Virgo bf likes to do, (and you as well)and try to think of some ways for him to help you! Virgos love helping, no joke. If you make him feel involved, or setup a project for him that makes him feel like he is helping you, he should feel much better.

Gemini64- I have also dated a Virgo man, who was a good friend prior, so I do have a bit of experience here. (I really tried my best to date him, but it just didn't work out, living situations, long distance etc.) My best bet is that even within marriage guidelines, he may have had feelings for you, and he did not want to ruin his marriage over speaking to you. The Virgo man I was friends with always liked me, and was even a bit cynical towards me upon later finding out down the road that I was dating someone else, even after my attempts to stay friends. He literally was rude to me, and would act very "butt-hurt." He felt like he should not give me any of his time, because I was taken and I was a waste of time in his mind! Virgos don't like doing pointless things, or even entertaining people if there is no goal to be reached.

So to answer your question, if the Virgo man truly had no feelings for you he would have no problem talking to you usually. He must have had something deep down inside that he knew he could not have you, so there was no point in entertaining your company. We usually don't let our true feelings out to anyone really, as it makes us vulnerable, we hate being vulnerable!

Hope this helps Gemini64 🙂

Posted by Justcap66
how is your relationship with capricorns?

I get along with all the Capricorns I've come across wonderfully! Before I knew much about astrology, I had friends you know, and upon knowing astrology of course I had to ask them their birthdays and such. Turns out 3 of my best friends (girls) were indeed Capricorns, how funny I thought! We can usually sit around and talk about anything for hours to be honest, and have no care that time is passing. We work well together on projects, and can always reach goals at an amazing rate, a great team I must say.

Up until recently, I had not met any Capricorn men! My current boyfriend of 6 months is a Capricorn and we get along splendidly. Most people find it annoying that we are in a relationship and have not had a single fight, but I am overjoyed about it. Upon meeting him at first, I was so surprised at how well we connected, similar interests, similar viewpoints, and more. We love to be outside together, research til the cows come home, and we work well on projects together. The only downfall I would say is that Capricorns like their space, well actually this is not a downfall, as it is teaching me a lesson. Most guys I've dated want to be around me 24/7 and I'm the one that ends up saying I need my space. Not the situation in this relationship! I have learned to understand that the Capricorn man needs his alone time to organize his thoughts, and get things together. This is good for me, as the space is teaching me to do the same, and stay my own person in a relationship, rather than smother eachother.

Overall I think Capricorns are amazing!!

Thanks dandy_ray. Your words really helped. He's just like you, food, laundry, tv...and doesn't understand why I would want to try a new sushi place on a Wednesday. Ugh. I simply adore him though, I can tell he has a good heart, it's just gonna take longer for me to break that barrier. He told me that it's going to take a while for his barriers to fall. I'll await this part patiently on dxpnet. I am so sad to say that back in my younger years, I used to do exactly what your ex-Libra did. I didn't physically cheat but I mentally and emotionally cheated. And yes, I would've begged to come back had I not had the new guy. But that changes with maturity. Many blessings to you and your Cap. To not have an argument is a dream come true!!

Gemini64 I'm sorry to hear that. I've read time and time again that Virgos will disappear like this. Definitely not a good way to operate on a soul-level. And being that you guys were friends for so long has to hurt. I understand! But I guess dandy_ray is right, if you both were married and he had feelings for you and knowing that he couldn't have you probably felt like torture for him.