Being harassed by a Virgo woman

For the past few months I have been harassed by a Virgo woman. She is the ex wife of the guy I have been seeing for over a year. Her youngest son and my oldest son have been in the same class for years and are really good friends. Sometimes they argue over stupid things like games on the Xbox but always manage to make up.

Over the past few months she has come on Xbox live trying to belittle me about my relationship with her ex husband and has turned up to places where she knows my son is playing football and shouted abuse at him in a very public away.

A few months back she phoned me threatening to turn up at my house if she knew where I lived and batter me and stated that my son should be in a special school because of his ADHD. (No mention of his autism because she doesn't really know anything about me or my son).

Today, I bumped into her whilst shopping and she abused me in the shop by saying I bet this is your worst nightmare come true as if to threaten me. She then stated that she doesn't want me near her property. My response was that I haven't been near her property. She stated that I picked her son up from down the road from her house a couple of weeks ago. This is true. I did. I parked down the road, picked him up with her ex in the car, we didn't bother her in any way. We took him to the football and dropped him off down the road. Nothing unpleasant occurred.

So I said yes I picked your son up and she said I don't want you or my ex near my property. This happened in a shop in front of my kids and other people. I haven't done anything to this woman other than pick her child up and take him to a football match and take him home. Why does she think she can dictate to me where I can drive with no restraining order in place and without me acting unreasonably?

Document everything the best way you can, record her shouting at your son and if you can capture and somehow email or print the communication via Xbox do it and then seek out a restraining order. What is your boyfriend doing to prevent this from happening? Whatever you do don't show fear, I believe she sense you are afraid of her and it's escalating, you'll have to stop being so nice and stand your ground and you might want to look into getting a firearm for protection and carry it at all times, extreme I know but you just never know how this could turn out if her behavior is escalating as in getting more volatile towards yourself and your child.

The way times are I would definitely take this kind of behavior seriously, women are losing their lives over this kind of drama so be careful and you might consider dumping the guy and moving on with your life if he can't influence his ex to back off.

The guy I am seeing has also told me to document everything and take it to the police. He too has had incidents of her harassing him and she has also started getting aggressive with their eldest son and threatens him if he goes to the house to pick up his things, even after she has said that he could.

Several incidents have been reported to the police now concerning her to no avail. Even if I split from the guy now I am pretty certain that she still wouldn't leave me alone.

I live in the UK so carrying a firearm is not an option for me.

You're right in what you say in that she senses I am scared. I am not a violent person and certainly not in front of my children. She has a black belt in kick boxing and is very unstable and unpredictable. I really don't know what she is capable of.

LIB to answer your questions we are not living together. My boyfriend and his ex wife have three kids together. My son is friends with their youngest. They are both 13. Their other children are 16 and 19.

The divorce was finalised on March 9th this year. They had already separated when I started seeing him. She remained in the marital home with the children and had moved her boyfriend in. He had his own flat.

My boyfriend does not have anything written out legally in regards to the children and due to their ages the only one he could get a contact order for would be the youngest.

Generally my boyfriend will just ring or text him on his mobile and ask if he wants to go to the football, bowling etc and if he wants to then he picks him up from down the road.

LIB thanks for your advice. Just to be clear, my boyfriend was in the car with me when I picked up their son. Yesterday, when she bumped into me in the shop, she stated that she doesn't want either me or her ex near her property. Yet a few months ago on xbox she was telling me to tell him to spend time with his kids and that she wouldn't attack him if he came to pick them up.

so what? so, she's being a cunt .. doesn't matter.


Let her say what she wants to, that doesn't mean you are any of those things .... that is, unless you act on her words, then you become what she says you are.


Kids aren't stupid, they know who you are ... if a person started saying false things about someone you knew, are you going to believe them just because some other person said it? Or, are you going to make your own decisions about the charater of that person? Same with the kids, and whomever else she runs her mouth to about you ... if those people care to care about you, then they will make up their own minds about who you are.

She makes herself look stupid .. so long as you don't react to her, she will continue to look stupid. The moment you do *anything* in retaliation, then it gives her words credit because then they were worth a response from you.


What you should do is carry on in life as if she doesn't exist. If you see her at a shop, keep walking, don't stop and let her address you. so what what she screams at you while you keep walking ... the more she does it, the crazier she looks .. and soon her children will start to see.

mum is there acting like a crazy bitch

TheMilkMaid is composed, and unaffected = mature



In summation - it is all about how you react = her actions towards you are complelely dependent upon your acknowledgement of her

Hi P-Angel. Thanks for the input. I am in no way bothered by any of the things she chooses to say about me. What does bother me is how she tries to intrude upon my life and that of my son.

I generally don't address her and yes she indeed raised a few heads in the shop by her outburst when everyone could clearly see that I was simply buying my kids shoes.

After the threats she made about beating me up and saying that my son needed a good battering I am just concerned about what would happen if I was to bump into her somewhere not so public.

+1 LIB

This is a hard situation and this happens a lot when women date married men--men that are in the middle of a divorce, it's like you're in the relationship with them because nothing has been resolved regarding bad feelings so now all the bad feelings she harbors for him is projected onto you.

I suggest you definitely learn how to defend yourself which will raise your confidence and awareness, I'm sure the UK hasn't outlawed hand to hand combat courses so maybe that's something you should look into for yourself and your child, I suggest you stay away from her and minimize contact with his son, just don't put yourself in any situation were she will strike out at you.

Unless you're willing to dump the guy you'll be living with this until his child is an adult and that's a lot of years to invest in so much stress and drama.

Your boyfriend should seek to get a contact order in place so he doesn't have to sneak around picking him up, he's not taking this seriously and it's causing you a lot of pain and emotional distress.

My concern is that your boyfriend is not doing enough to protect not only his own rights as a parent but not doing enough to protect you and your child or himself for that matter, you have not exposed much to us about what he's doing to ensure you and your sons safety. This won't go away and so he has to step up and ensure everyone will be safe and you also have to begin to be vocal.

Not sure why you would choose to stay with a man with these kind of issues and yet if you're going to commit to staying in the relationship then you must learn how to deal with the situation, there are no real easy answers, I don't think she'll continue to harass you if you dump the guy, she'll most likely leave you alone and pick up with harassing him and his new woman.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"Not sure why you would choose to stay with a man with these kind of issues and yet if you're going to commit to staying in the relationship then you must learn how to deal with the situation,"



I ask myself that question, one man I married..the psycho ex didn't stop for 8 years, the other (my past virgo) ex psycho didn't stop the 4.5 years I was with him...wasn't waiting another 4 either. Lesson learned: Not even love could conquer that bullshit. ugh...😢

WOW! Sounds horrid, sorry you had to go through all of that, well one things for sure you definitely have learned from your past and give out excellent advice.