Chased by Virgo women and then she disappears

Hello all,

I am 28 yo Cap guy and I am abroad doing European Service Voluntary. Around 3 weeks ago this virgo girl also arrived as a volunteer and we meet on a party at my house (we all live with other volunteers). We both noticed eachother and had a nice talk that night, although I didnt set up my mind to try to conquer or anything. However, she didnt waste time and before I knew it she was heavily on to me. By this I mean a bunch of episodes:

- Once when I was leaving her house after having lunch there, and she was leaving the city in the following day for 4 days, she asked me if we were seeing eachother after she arrived;

- After she arrived, we meet casually in a pub, but not before she asked my housemate where I was. Later that same night, after the pub, everyone was going to her house, but I was not feeling like it. At a junction I had to took the decision and she stared at me, eye contact, with a smile that I felt forced to say OK. She didnt leave my side for the rest of the night. When I was leaving she walked me to the door and poked a finger on my back asking if we were going to see eachother the next day;

- The next morning she invited me to go to the beach. She brought a friend with her. I was speaking to her when I was undressing myself and noticed quite clearly that her eyes jumped from my face to my body. On the same day, at night, I was feeling tired, so when she was going out of the pub where we all were, to go somewhere else, I didnt go. But that didnt prevent her from stopping her friends and asking me one more time if I was not going. I said no again, but after I sent her a SMS thanking her for the day on the beach;

- The next day I didnt say nothing to her, as was actually planning to stay silent for a while, to test her patience and resistance to a NO. Dont want her to think I am her lapdog... However on the following day she invited me to go to the cinema. This time we went alone, and apart from the initial ice breaking, everything went smooth, lots of conversation, not boring at all. At the end she hugged me very strongly (no pats) and kissed my face. The next day I sent her a message in the morning thanking her for the night, telling her she kept surprising me in many ways, and wishing her a nice trip, since she was leaving for 3 days. She never answered the message neither said anything more. And then I got to know that she is inviting some friends to a concert, but didnt say anything to me.

Whats wrong with her?

So let me get this straight..

You deliberately (and in my opinion pretty unfairly too) gave her the silent treatment so she wouldnt think you were her lapdog (?), THEN you start freaking out when she indeed understands this and stops giving you so much attention?

Well isnt that what you wanted? Since you dont want to be her "lapdog"..arent you supposed now to be the man and take the initiative for once to do something together instead of yet again waiting for her to propose something??

She spoilt you and you got complacent. Thats pretty much it.

*Spoiled*

BoomShakalakaBoom, I didnt even had time to do the silent treatment. It was just one day of silence after 3 days of being together pretty much all the time. Also, I was thinking in inviting her after the movie night and drop the silent treatment thing. But since that night she stopped answering to my messages, with no apparent reason.

The better question here is..whats wrong with yoU? A nice girl shows serious interest and somehow you manage to find a way to fuck it up. My guess is that deep within you dont feel worthy of such level of attention and generousity.

Well, Im a Cap and I dont trust people easily no. But I was never rude or anything. Furthermore, why you think I took the care to thank her for the day in the beach after giving her a (justified because I was tired) NO. I did give her signals that I enjoyed my time with her. Also, im not freaking out at all. Im just annoyed by the behavior, since I hate to not understand things.

Posted by Picao84
BoomShakalakaBoom, I didnt even had time to do the silent treatment. It was just one day of silence after 3 days of being together pretty much all the time. Also, I was thinking in inviting her after the movie night and drop the silent treatment thing. But since that night she stopped answering to my messages, with no apparent reason.

No apparent reason? me thinks you're underestimating her level of perception. She most probably picked up on your silence (no matter how short it was) and is just mirroring it, why does it surprise you?

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom

Posted by Picao84
BoomShakalakaBoom, I didnt even had time to do the silent treatment. It was just one day of silence after 3 days of being together pretty much all the time. Also, I was thinking in inviting her after the movie night and drop the silent treatment thing. But since that night she stopped answering to my messages, with no apparent reason.

No apparent reason? me thinks you're underestimating her level of perception. She most probably picked up on your silence (no matter how short it was) and is just mirroring it, why does it surprise you?

click to expand

Well ok, in the case that that is the truth of it, then she has little patience, which in turn validates the silent treatment. She is not a keeper then. We dont know each other that much, or barely at all, for her to demand from me that kind of attention.

A silence treatment is a mean thing to do and can never be justified unless someone does something fucked up to you, all she did was being nice, I dont think she deserves a silent treatment at all.

I think instead of thinking of silent treatments as the solution, you should have been upfront about it, I think thats what most girls expect from a man.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
A silence treatment is a mean thing to do and can never be justified unless someone does something fucked up to you, all she did was being nice, I dont think she deserves a silent treatment at all.

I think instead of thinking of silent treatments as the solution, you should have been upfront about it, I think thats what most girls expect from a man.

I dont know why you keep going on about the silence treatment since there is much more to the story. Do I have to remind again that I thanked her all the time for the time we spent together? And most of this happened in 3 freaking days ONLY. Thats not really a lot of time. Or maybe you are used to get the silent treatment a lot, so you cant see out of it? (Sorry, but I coulnt resist, since you have been "attacking" me all the time).

Posted by Let*It*Be
"Whats wrong with her?"

Maybe she didn't say anything to you in order to stay silent for a while and test your patience? She probably doesn't think of herself as a puppy dog either. ? Just a thought...

Virgo's are very sharp, they don't miss a game when they see/sense one.

Thanks. Yes, that can be also one reason.

You said her impatience validates a silent treatment, and like I said I dont agree with that because in fact only cowards do silent treatments. Real men are upfront. Thats what Im used to.

Besides, maybe she just forgot, maybe she is just busy with other stuff (shes preparing a trip) and didnt mean not responding to your message, I dont get why you're freaking out at all, does it surprise you that a few days can pass without her contacting you?

Besides if youre interested in her, isnt it time you take the initative too? shes been doing it all the time, maybe shes getting tired of it?

Posted by Let*It*Be
"Well ok, in the case that that is the truth of it, then she has little patience, which in turn validates the silent treatment. She is not a keeper then. We dont know each other that much, or barely at all, for her to demand from me that kind of attention."

😕 wow! Like women much?

Sorry, but I cant see the problem with what I wrote. People need time to get to know eachother. I dont build relationships on a vacuum.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Besides if youre interested in her, isnt it time you take the initative too? shes been doing it all the time, maybe shes getting tired of it?

Being interested in her is a tricky question that I cannot answer yet.
However, yes Im planning to take initiative, depending on how she behaves with me next time we see eachother.

Thats cool, but dont expect that a plan for the next encounter will be initiated (yet again) by her.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Thats cool, but dont expect that a plan for the next encounter will be initiated (yet again) by her.

Nah, we are bound to meet because of common colleagues/friends and places we frequent in weekends.

Just hang in there🙂 you'll be fine, its normal for people who are getting to know each other to have a small phase where you have to adapt to each other's style s, she doesnt know you dont like things going so fast, so make that clear to her.

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Just hang in there🙂 you'll be fine, its normal for people who are getting to know each other to have a small phase where you have to adapt to each other's style s, she doesnt know you dont like things going so fast, so make that clear to her.

Thats true. Thanks.

I agree with Let*It*Be Virgos pick up on things quickly if you did give her the silent treatment then she more than likely thinks you are playing games.
Also, she may very well be busy and/or lost or her phone isnt charged.
How long has it been?