How long does it take you to get over someone?

Depending on the strength/length of the relationship, how long does it take for you to finally put the person in the back of your mind and move on?

This thought came to mind after I had a quick yet fervent thing with a cancer. This cancer came on strong (before him, I was finally getting over a capman I was seeing for a few months) for the first few weeks, so I was attracted to the attention. I was still cautious, but we hung out for the first time; long story short, he moved a little too fast, and things became rather intimate, but I stopped him before it could lead to sex. From then on, this crab did his little dance, where I didn't hear from him for several days. He would send subtle messages that he was still into me (which was relief because I thought I had scared him off previously). The last time we hung out (which was about a week ago), we merely cuddled, kissed, and watched a movie. However, when I left, I felt a disconnect. Some days later, I found out he was smitten with another girl. I wasn't as upset as I thought I would be for I was planning n letting the cancer go anyway. In fact, I even hoped that he would finally find what he was looking for and be happy. However, I still feel a sharp sting every time I see some mention of this new girl. While I'm fine and probably better off without him, I'm still a little sad knowing that he found someone else and rather quickly, too.

But back to the main question. Do you find yourself holding on longer than you should be or do you move on at the drop o a hat?

I actually meant to put this in the relationship board, but I think this works here too, lol.

Candeh maybe what you want is not him but what he has with/for this girl?
Do you really miss him or the attention?
I usually take a long time on deciding wether or not to let someone go (I guess that would qualify as holding on)
but once I've made that decision there's no hope for anything further no matter how I felt before.
It might appear though, that I've made this decision at the drop of a hat since because I usually contemplate
to myself without sharing my thoughts with the person in question - bad habit.
I've been learning how to be more expressive to my friends and people I care about when it comes to
opening up.

Certainly...Although, half the choices i knew I was going to kick myself in the ass, the experience helped me understand that there is the "greater good" than just smarts and looks.

Pisces; took several months (she wanted to strive as a soccer player, and she began to see relationships as something "part-time". I didn't have money at the time to affored a car, and I wasted plenty of money taking the bus, but it was hard to go around...till i got my car things would have been different but AH WELL!!!).

Taurus; tooks several months (I spent years bending my will to her emotional needs, and I tried to get her to see that life isn't all that negative and dark, but I came to realize that no matter how far i can make her happy she was just in constant pain...*she had a terrible backround she couldn't overcome*)

Capricorn; took a long time to get over...(the break-up was because I took up the role as a father to my brothers son, and i couldn't leave him to a foster family, so i treated him as a father until he became an adult)

The estimate amount of time is about several months...

My current relationship is going very well. The new pisces I am with isn't much like the one i was with at first (being young we all make poor choices), and she is emotionally honest, which i find great. She communicates with me (leo moon) and i communicate back without the sudden awkwardness that failed relationships have, and she likes my "pushing" nature."Tough love"~ how she says, and I like her loud and strong nature. SHE'S AIGHT, as how they say it.

Posted by virgodreamz
Candeh maybe what you want is not him but what he has with/for this girl?
Do you really miss him or the attention?

In a way, I do miss him; mainly his company and our chats, but I know it's not him completely. So, mostly the attention and the prospect of something more. The reason why I was going to let him go is that I was tired of feeling like "someone for the moment." I have leo in my venus, so when the attention wasn't upon me, I became upset. The funny thing is, in between all this, a gemboy came out of nowhere. I began talking to him as a friend, but I began to like him the more I did. My feelings became very conflicted, so I put the gemboy to the side while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do with the cancer. But in the end, I realized (and thankfully) that I was nearly giving up someone who I could tell cared about me for someone I wanted simply because he made me feel good at the time. While I still kind of cringe when I think about the cancer, I find myself clicking with the gem on a deeper level (platonically and more).

When it comes to guys, if I really cared about them, it tends to take me months or maybe even years to get over them. A long time ago, I had an again off again relationship for almost 3 years with a boy I considered one of my best friends (lo and behold, he was also a cancer). In the end, he finally told me that he did love me, but he realized he loved me like I was his little sister. It took me a couple of years to get over him. I tend to hold on because I had become to used to the emotions I had that I am simply not ready to let them go and start over. However, when I realize that there should be nothing holding me back, I can instantly move on (kind of like virgodreamz said). Sometimes I play myself thinking that I can move on quickly when something ends abruptly, but it just comes back and bites me in the ass until I fully deal with the issue. So, its a mixture of both for me.

Posted by sorti-fantastic poney
Certainly...Although, half the choices i knew I was going to kick myself in the ass, the experience helped me understand that there is the "greater good" than just smarts and looks.

Exactly. I seem to always end up learning the hard way, but in the end, you do realize what you need and what is good for you. I told my best friend recently that I need to follow my instincts more; with the cancer I mentioned, I knew at some point that it probably wasn't going to work out or that he was still searching for something more, but I couldn't decide whether I wanted to follow it (the intituation). I do that so often that my best friend finally told me that I should learn to follow my gut rather than my fears.