a few days ago my boyfriend told me he had some thimgs to get off of his chest. so I said okay, when he came over to my house (by the way I'm a cancer) I automatically asked him: "so what's on your mind.." the whole entire time he said idk, idk.. we've been best friends for about 3 years & we've been together for close to 4 months. he's leaving for school in about 2 weeks. so I think this is where its all coming from. but he told me, "sometimes I feel as if our friendship bond is closer than our boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. & then it fades away" so I asked what makes you think that & his reply was idk. we talked for almost 4 hours.. until he just burst out & said he didn't think he was BOYFRIEND MATERIAL but to me in my eyes he's everything I could ever ask for.. he began to put himself down so bad by saying "he doesn't know to show affection, he doesn't think he's good enough, can't give his 100% in a relationship, he thinks that he's a boring person & that he'd never get married.. I was just lost I really couldn't understand where all of this was coming from, until he said while he's at home all he does is think. think about what my family will think if he hurt me, just anything under the sun.. I asked him why can't you just go with the flow & just let things happen. & once again his answe was idk.. by the end of our conversation he admitted that he liked it better when we where friends because that way he didn't feel obligated to come see me.. it hurt me a lot to hear that. & that he wasn't ready for a relationship, which I felt was obvious if he had all these insecurties. I left the conversation with that & said that i'd give him his space.. & totake his time. but he said he'd keep me up on his feelings. but I don't think its gonna go anywhere.. because I love him & my feelings for him are those that I don't think will ever go away. I don't even believe I can even be close friends like we used to be.. I'm just so confused & dissapointed. he says its not because he's going to school, another girl, & its not me.. but deep down inside I believe its just the whole going to school thing, & not wanting to hurt me & becoming hypocritical.. I understand that but I wish it didn't have to be this way.. can anybody help me.. :*(
