New here!

I'm new here,(This is going to be kind of long) but need some answers. I am being driven insane by a 38 yr old Virgo who is on the cusp of Libra. He and I go back about 16 years, we had a relationship a long time ago. I'm a leo with scorp rising. He and I lost contact for 9 years, during those 9 years he was married. He claims he never wants to get married again, and doens't want anymore kids.

Here is the problem, he goes back and forth one minute he claims he loves me still, then he reduces it to he only cares about me. I am sick of the push me pull you thing, and I have tried various times through email, text, and so on to let him go. I've told him outright I'm done with this madness. Yet, it seems my words fall on deaf ears. He keeps coming back.

Of course he says he didn't read the email and or never got any of the texts. I would love to get back with him, but am so darn confused of what he wants. I know that right now he is going through a rough patch, he lost his mom this year, went through a divorce and left and came back from out of State. What I am trying to understand is, is he stringing me along until something better comes along? Or is he testing the waters with me?

I noticed when he feels he is getting to close, he tends to bring things up that he knows makes me a bit jealous, and or sometimes if he gets to close he as mentioned on this board a few times, disappears for days, then he'll call me and everything is back to normal again, and then he'll do it again. The disappearing part again. I feel like walking away, but as he told me himself, he doesn't want to walk away, and that makes me feel like there is still hope.

Am I doing something wrong? Or should I just let him go?

Hi there LS76 and welcome! 🙂 ....so, you are being driven insane by a 38 yr. man - seems lately that a lot of women are having problems with men coming and going. Honestly, I do not think it is the men with the problem, I think it is the women who LET THEM come and go.

If a man is driving you insane why do you desire to keep a relationship going with him? Is this the type of relationship you want? is this healthy for you?

Any man will do what he can get away with and if a women allows him come and go....he will do so - why not?

Stand up for what you believe in - if he is not what floats your boat, stop the contact with him and mean it. Yes, it is hard and he knows you are not going to follow through on your word - he has your number Lady but.....you gave it to him.

In what I read in your posts....sounds to me like he is stringing you along sweetie. Sit with yourself and ponder on what type of relationship you want and if a man shows up and he isn't it - let him go and stick to your guns or you will find yourself on the Merry-go-round with insane men. Sorry to be so blunt LS - I am not very good at dancing around when it is what it is.

I know you didn't ask what I would do ....sheesh, I guess I just don't have time to play games....if a man did that routine with me....he is a gonner and gone he stays! There are good men out there and they will appear. Your pal has a lot of heavy stuff going on and only HE can fix himself or he can find a good therapist who will guide him in the right direction.

I wish you both the best...again, I am sorry for my bluntness.

Tank you freebird, As for him having my number......I hate to admit it, but I know you're right. As for the stringing me along part. I feel that way myself. I have tried to let him go, cut him off at the knees, and it doesn't get easy. The more I try to let go, the more tenacious he becomes in calling or contacting me. It's strange. When I avoid him, he persists on calling more.

When I try being nice he runs. I don't get the virguy, especially with him being on the cusp of Libra. Talk about a handful. He is so intelligent in some aspects, and yet so blatantly foolish in others. (Sigh)

I was in the same situation as you at one time - I KNOW how you are feeling and it is hard. It will now require you to call on an inner strength that maybe you have not yet needed to use.

What he is doing (his actions) are one of a person who when he looses control will do...they work harder at getting it back - this is NOT healthy for YOU. They feel lost, they feel like they will go crazy but - this is not your problem. It only becomes your problem if you continue doing something that you know in your heart is not true for you.

Once you decide and if you do decide to let go of him...know that under NO circumstance will you take his email, his phone calls, answering the door if he shows up unannounced - cut the cord and stick to it.

I will tell you that 2 yrs. ago I cut the cord with a man who exhibited the same behaviour as your friend. I cut off ALL contact and he persisted, he tried everything - even calling me from a calling card, calling me saying he was drunk...I told him I was unable to give him an Oscar cuz his performance needed some work! He has recently begun calling me again and emailing me - I will NOT respond. It may take him another year or so to get the hint....who knows. You are only responsible for yourself just as I am - take care of you Missy.

You are very welcome by the way 😉

I am just sorry you are going through this...ugh. You are in the classroom of life and your lesson for today is - Finding Your Strength Within

😉

Freebird,

Now That was a refreshing story and lesson for ol' ltvm to read. I'll think about that for quite some time.

Now tell me...the guy you cut the cord from...did you love him? Was it a long standing relationship? Gotta know...
ltvm

I honestly don't know how to just up and let go. I truly do care for him, but feel like I am at a crossroads. I can stick it out, as addressed by other virgos on here, that alledgedly when they like you, they do the back and forth dance, or I can walk away. In some situations, I can have the patience of a saint, but I'm truly confused on this one. I do believe he must be as confused as I am? Perhaps, but in the mean while, I will have to mull it over before I can say one way or the other what I plan on doing. However, thanks for the advice, Any virguys wanna help on this one? I woul love to know what they think as well.