Pisces Female Confused with Virgo Ex

A few weeks ago, virgo boyfriend told me he could not be with me. He was in need to "explore" and date more. He was not ready to settle down. I was totally devastated. There were no indications how he came to this conclusion. Virgo BF is a workaholic and owns his own business. I was helping him with the business to great success. He told me it had nothing to do with me and I was the perfect girlfriend. I felt something fishy was going on. Perfect girlfriends don't get dumped.

While I was taking time apart to go visit my father for a while to get away, he told me he started dating the week I left. He was just looking to casually date some chick. Later he is telling me he could possibly love her, but she is not his GF yet.

We decided before I left that he would join me during election night to watch the elections. This was important to me and like a good virgo, he filled his obligation. I didn't expect us to have a good time, but I have lately have been working on a new attitude of happiness and confidence that I didn't have all the way before. He seemed attracted and felt comfortable with me like old times, except better.

At first he was distant and polite towards me. As the night moved on, he became more attracted to my smiles and happiness to the point that he had to control himself. He told me he would always be attracted to me and he seemed to be flirting with me all night. We laughed, told jokes, shared candy, and acted like everything was perfect. He displayed his innocent child like nature, an indication that he was loosening up around me. He barely wanted to leave when the night was over, he seemed conflicted and quiet. He still was trying to convince himself that we were "friends" only. Some how I don't see that he even believed that. He even mentioned that I will forever be family to him and under his protection. I know sometimes I can get him to express his feelings around me and I know he sees me as some one he trusts. I know virtually everything about him, even his darkest secrets and pains.

He said he would call me sometime this week and I haven't heard from him so far. I have to come back sunday to start making arrangements to move. I really want him back, but I want to be careful about this mystery girl. Do you think that night is an indication he will come back? Either way, I will be moving out to gain strength in my own life. But I absolutely love him and I am sad he is not my BF anymore.

Also, he has told me that I know him better than he knows himself. Hes mentioned that he doesnt want to know this girl's past, and he doesnt really want to tell her his own past either.

Im confused on what I should do. I know either way I need to take control of my life and where I am going. And I want to have a stronger sense of self and confidence. I really want to get my life together with or without him. I just really wish he still was committed to me. If he goes with this girl, I will not interfere. It will be very sad for me though. Please advise on what I can do.

I'm not entirely sure what it is you are asking for. You know that if he makes a choice to not be in a commitment with you, then there's nothing you can do to make him, and so just have to get on with your life, even if it's a sad one.

you know this because you said it .. so when you ask what for you to do, what is it you're asking for? You mean, how to cope with your sad feelings? or, do you mean, how to get him back? Or, do you mean, how to move on in your life?

A Virgo goes through a very long and scrutinizing process when it comes to making a commitment to a Mrs. Right. And when they come to their conclusion, one of two things happens .. they marry you, or break up with you.

I know it must be hurting terribly, but, reality is what it is. He has made up his mind, he wants to look around, which means, he's decided that you aren't the woman he sees spending the rest of his life with.

But, that doesn't mean he doesn't feel you, such as the two of you that night watching tv. We all find ourselves in that situation, at times, don't we? We KNOW someone is not right for us, but, we feel them anyway. Actually, I admire this quality in him ... for so many people will recognize someone is wrong for them, but because they feel the person they endure the relationship anyway in which goes nowhere only to later get hurt.

Sounds like you have a really good friend now, and that's something to be thankful about. Sometimes people aren't suppose to be our life-partners, sometimes, they were only suppose to teach us something.

Well I was asking more how to get him back. He told me he basically found the right person at the wrong time (talking about me). That hurt pretty bad. 😢 That is the more confusing part.

"He told me he basically found the right person at the wrong time"


I find that concept a hard one to believe.

People will try to move mountains for The One. If married, they'll divorce .. they'll relocate if needed .. they'll do just about anything for The One.

Timing? What does that mean? Don't we spend our whole lives searching for this very person? Haven't we been preparing ourselves with visions of our perfect person our whole lives, waiting to meet her/him?

So, what is a right time, then?


lovable .. he's made his decision and because he cares about you, he doesn't want to hurt your feelings any more than he has to, so he has told you this to make you feel better. Once a Virgo makes up their mind that this person wasn't The One .. they move on in search of her/him.

He did mention he was too young to settle down, he wanted to really get married around 30, we are both 24. I was in no hurry either and had never pressured him. He said he was planning to keep dating when he was dating me, but he just fell in love with me and it was hard to leave. I did find myself a bit lost within the relationship, like I lost my identity and who I was. I was really more a happy go lucky, laid back person who had my own dreams. I don't know if its a typical pisces thing, but I read once we do mold to what is needed in a relationship. I should have been working more on myself, but I thought I found a role within his workings that I was extremely good at. He really needed the help from what I could see and so I told him I will take over anything he can not tend to during his crazy day. I started ignoring my true calling after a while which was writing books. That was a tough call, but I felt the situation was more immediate and his health was more important to me. He would not sleep much at all and his eating habits were not fit for a 6'2 man. I felt if I didn't step in, he would just die on me. He already has a lot of gray hair for his age.

At this moment, I am just going to keep my spirits high either way, it may be the difference in the end. I am not in denial, I just can't go back to being upset because it hasn't done me any wealth of good in the past. I know the stakes of anything good coming out of this would be very low. I just needed to ask what are my options besides just "accept life as is." That is what I have been doing my entire life and it has gotten me no where. Ever since I have been taking over my life, it has filled me with a sense of purpose to do what I want to do.

For a second I felt bad, but hopelessness is always the trigger of my downfall in life and the reason I lose out. Its when I become discouraged in my abilities to be a powerful force is when I sit, do nothing and become the loser. I don't want to feel like I can't do anything anymore. This is a test of my confidence in my own abilities to lead life and persevere. Whether the result is in my favor or not, I will still be a prevailing figure in my life. I will not accept life by default anymore, I will build it exactly how I want it. Not by force, hate, or anger, but by love, assertiveness and confidence in myself.

Patience is an understatement, I think I probably have achieved the patience of God by now from him. 🙂 He has always been an intriguing, lovable and testy kind of fellow to me. You are right theskys, I will focus on my confidence because I think that is the root of all the issues in my life. I want to make a few adjustments, clean some unnecessary stuff out, get therapy (going next week), start working on my book ideas, lose some weight, get into a healthier routine and put my life back together.

I'm not a loser by any means, in fact, Ive been pretty successful in my life up til I graduated college. But I really think I let myself go for some reason, maybe I was scared that I wouldn't amount to anything. Im an only child, my parents are both doing bad financially and they are bitterly divorced. Im like the last hope of the entire family. It kind of scares me that if I don't amount to anything, I would waste all the money and time they put into me. I need to examine why I tend to let myself go at times to make sure it never happens again.

Update: We are kind of in the super best friends zone. A bit more than a real best friend, but less than a relationship. Sounds like a half ass deal to me. Im keeping my distance from the situation as much as possible from now on. Any advice?

Not really planning to find anybody else, honestly. I really will no longer have time for a relationship for several years.