Scheduled flirting

Love the virgo need for sense & order!

I was sharing some news links about the supermoon this weekend with my virguy friend, and included a warning that cancerian me might be compelled to flirt outrageously for the duration. He seemed to appreciate the warning & time frame, and has been very flirty compared to his usual self.

I used to think he just didn't think of me as someone to flirt with, based on comparison with my interactions with other people. But I've learned over the years that his reserve is so great that what would seem harmless banter to most of my friends is pretty bold stuff for him. Hilarious!!

It's been fun loosening him up a little. He actually made a few bold comments in front of co-workers yesterday. Maybe knowing the fun is 'over' once the moon starts to wane makes it safe to come out & play a little.

That is so funny! I have had a similar experience with the virgo I am into. We work together and I sort of mix work with flirting but he can be strictly business.. He will call me up either for work or pleasure. Like this one time we were working on something and I was coming on to him and he was ignoring it and just continuing being cold business minded but then about 20 min after we had hang up the work call/chat thing he calls me and is all soft and lovey and we speak for over an hour. I am totally sold on this Guy.

Posted by leoowoman
That is so funny! I have had a similar experience with the virgo I am into. We work together and I sort of mix work with flirting but he can be strictly business.. He will call me up either for work or pleasure. Like this one time we were working on something and I was coming on to him and he was ignoring it and just continuing being cold business minded but then about 20 min after we had hang up the work call/chat thing he calls me and is all soft and lovey and we speak for over an hour. I am totally sold on this Guy.

One good thing about the virgo memory/attention-to-detail is that while he's ignoring your advances & working, he's remembering for future reference. My friend does that all the time...I think he's too absorbed in some work thing to retain what I'm saying or doing, but he'll bring it up later, acting surprised that I'm surprised he did.

The compartmentalizing thing takes some getting used to though, but it makes sense for someone who prefers to focus on one thing at a time. I've had to work a bit at catching the cues & leaving work stuff alone when he's in that zone. I think since we've worked together 4 yrs now I've got a good track record at being respectful of the work/friend compartments, and not mixing our private friendship up with other work people. So maybe he is comfortable loosening up in limited circumstances.

The scheduling thing goes for a lot of interactions, now that I'm thinking about it. Another thing that used to bug me, but I understand better now. We have a habit of getting together for lunch one day during the week, and hanging out together Saturday mornings. Sometimes we do stuff other times, but not as often. One of his friends told me how much he looks forward to our time Saturday, and I think he just likes the stability of knowing that he can count on me being there then. Not that he doesn't enjoy my company other times, just that he likes to compartmentalize his socializing to make sure he gets enough alone time.

I find it kind of funny.

"I'm going to flirt with you at 11:13 AM tomorrow. Be ready."

I find it fascinating Sandy that you learn these quirks about your Virguy and both work around them and respect them at the same time. I only say this because more often than not I am criticized for craving that stability and living in the comfort zone. Maybe I'm slowly being brainwashed out of my Virgo ways but I'm starting to believe these people.

I cannot back down from my critical work ethic but I am understanding others' point of view when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone, looking at life with a little more gray instead of only b & w, and freeing myself a bit. My parents have always tried to instill this in me but I find sometimes it takes a certain person(s) telling you something for it to sink in. In my case it was my polar opposite scorp ex (who I wrote that song for on my profile page) and my current Virgo gf. Both have a zest for life that I am envious of yet can't seem to match or mimic their enthusiasm.

Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
I find it fascinating Sandy that you learn these quirks about your Virguy and both work around them and respect them at the same time. I only say this because more often than not I am criticized for craving that stability and living in the comfort zone. Maybe I'm slowly being brainwashed out of my Virgo ways but I'm starting to believe these people.

I cannot back down from my critical work ethic but I am understanding others' point of view when it comes to stepping out of my comfort zone, looking at life with a little more gray instead of only b & w, and freeing myself a bit. My parents have always tried to instill this in me but I find sometimes it takes a certain person(s) telling you something for it to sink in. In my case it was my polar opposite scorp ex (who I wrote that song for on my profile page) and my current Virgo gf. Both have a zest for life that I am envious of yet can't seem to match or mimic their enthusiasm.

It helps to be comfortable and aware of my own quirks and boundaries. I can be more flexible dealing with someone I care about knowing I can stop 'bending' when i feel it's too far. And it's crucial that the flexibility has a positive feedback for me too. Not necessarily the exact same thing, but some 'reward' for me ;P He has retained a lot of his inflexibility in certain things, but has loosened up in others so I end up really enjoying a unique friendship.

Being thoughtful with my friend has also helped me be more thoughtful with my partner. It's easy to get into a rut and forget her quirks & habits over time, and this mental exercise helps with that.

Wait? You're gay? Forgive me if I'm the last one to show up at the party.

Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
Wait? You're gay? Forgive me if I'm the last one to show up at the party.

LOL I'm ambisexual. Been married twice to men, now pretty much married to my partner. I like different things with different genders, so categories don't really work for me 😉

lol after the divorce there was a period where I was like, "You know, if it wasn't for the whole male intimacy thing, I'd go gay in a heartbeat" Then I remembered I like vagina.

One good thing about the virgo memory/attention-to-detail is that while he's ignoring your advances & working, he's remembering for future reference. My friend does that all the time...I think he's too absorbed in some work thing to retain what I'm saying or doing, but he'll bring it up later, acting surprised that I'm surprised he did.

The compartmentalizing thing takes some getting used to though, but it makes sense for someone who prefers to focus on one thing at a time. I've had to work a bit at catching the cues & leaving work stuff alone when he's in that zone. I think since we've worked together 4 yrs now I've got a good track record at being respectful of the work/friend compartments, and not mixing our private friendship up with other work people. So maybe he is comfortable loosening up in limited circumstances.

The scheduling thing goes for a lot of interactions, now that I'm thinking about it. Another thing that used to bug me, but I understand better now. We have a habit of getting together for lunch one day during the week, and hanging out together Saturday mornings. Sometimes we do stuff other times, but not as often. One of his friends told me how much he looks forward to our time Saturday, and I think he just likes the stability of knowing that he can count on me being there then. Not that he doesn't enjoy my company other times, just that he likes to compartmentalize his socializing to make sure he gets enough alone time.

Interesting... Now thinking about it he is actually very scheduled on everything... He is available for flirting and socialising monday and tuesday mornings. Wednesday morning is set aside for flirting but wednesday afternoon and thursday morning we normally just work. Hilarious! I haven't thought about this before. And this thing about remembering and storing information is really impressive to me. He remembers things about me, what I like, how I was dressed, what I have said etc. I totally fall for that I am so into him it is crazy!

It's true Sandy and Lena. Reserve and subtlety are our tools. Usually go unnoticed and misconstrued but that's us, or me at least. I consider the commonly accepted forms of flirting to be rude, showy, degrading etc.

Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
It's true Sandy and Lena. Reserve and subtlety are our tools. Usually go unnoticed and misconstrued but that's us, or me at least. I consider the commonly accepted forms of flirting to be rude, showy, degrading etc.

Exactly! I think I've just learned to translate certain behaviors as flirting because it fits my syntax better. Very subtle, very witty. Not much common sexual banter or low humor. Which it what completely cracks me up when he tries to break it up a bit. And it's really funny to see which of my remarks get reactions.

With most guys it's easy, because they are so predictable & obvious.

The scheduling thing kind of applies in other aspects too. I can say/write something that has a few different meanings, but instead of being crude I can just mention my restraint in not mentioning any double entndres. Like warning him that i'm not meaning anything naughty, just pointing out that it could be taken that way. He seems to get a kick out of rolling his eyes and teasing me about my outrageous sense of humor in those instances. Kind of strange, but we both laugh and have the fun of thinking our own thoughts on other meanings of things without having to elaborate. And I know how much he likes teasing me, so sometimes I'll set myself up so he can. I guess that doesn't sound like flirting, but it works out that way.

I don't think he has anything similar going on with his female friends, so maybe the novelty is part of the attraction.

Also with the subtlety in paying compliments too! Like it is important for him not to say things anyone else might say about my appearance. He does compliment my attributes though. Talents, skills, accomplishments, etc. I know I'm not ugly, so it's a curious thing, and makes me smile. I think it's part of the virgo attention to detail too. Notice more subtle things to comment on, not the obvious.

When he saw a picture of me with my new horse, he said how cute we both are, but that knowing everyone else would make the obvious comment on how my hair matched the horse's color, he wouldn't. Kind of funny.

Posted by OP3CRIMSIN
lol after the divorce there was a period where I was like, "You know, if it wasn't for the whole male intimacy thing, I'd go gay in a heartbeat" Then I remembered I like vagina.

Same-sex friendships used to be a lot more involved back in the day. It was expected that men would hang with their particular friend most of the time, and women always had their women friends around. They wrote what sounds like love letters to modern folk, slept in the same beds, etc. but most of the time it wasn't sexual.

People nowadays don't have an outlet for relationships like that. It's either girls night or bromance and marriage. No in between.