Should I move on?

Should I move on?

Yes, you should.
Oh and always think twice before dating a Virgo 😢

I have been dating a virguy for three months now, and he told me that he is in love with me. I am in love with him also. He does the disappearing thing sometimes, meaning he will avoid my calls for a day then he will call the next day as if nothing ever happened. He will say he was busy or needed time to think. Well i recently found out I am pregnant. He says that he dosent want anymore kids as he already has a five year old. I feel so torn because how can he say he loves me but dosen't want this baby. I have tried to get him to see this from my point of view but he is so stubborn. Then two days ago he says he talked to his mother and she made him understand where I am coming from. He said that he now is giong to support me and that he still loves me. He also said that no one is at fault and that we both knew what we were doing. He said all of this on my voicemail two days ago and i havent heard from him since. I have called him three times. Any advice?

Posted by complicatedpisces
I have been dating a virguy for three months now, and he told me that he is in love with me. I am in love with him also. He does the disappearing thing sometimes, meaning he will avoid my calls for a day then he will call the next day as if nothing ever happened. He will say he was busy or needed time to think. Well i recently found out I am pregnant. He says that he dosent want anymore kids as he already has a five year old. I feel so torn because how can he say he loves me but dosen't want this baby. I have tried to get him to see this from my point of view but he is so stubborn. Then two days ago he says he talked to his mother and she made him understand where I am coming from. He said that he now is giong to support me and that he still loves me. He also said that no one is at fault and that we both knew what we were doing. He said all of this on my voicemail two days ago and i havent heard from him since. I have called him three times. Any advice?

Him telling you that although he loves you he doesn't want the baby is him just being honest. If a Virgo loves you we will stick with you through thick and thin, though we may sometimes pull a disappearing act just to gauge where things really are and if our plans can be altered to fit your expectations into them. Contrary to popular belief, for the right person or romance, a Virgo will change their whole world. We're not flaky or flighty (provided there isn't a Venus in Libra or something a long those lines) so when we love, we love hard.

I would give him a little bit of time and patience. We're a lot like Cancers in the respect that sometimes we have to pull back to insure that we are doing the right thing.

But now for my bitch moment, which I hate to bring this up but it always baffles me; Why are you going to continue through with the pregnancy if you're doubting the man's intentions? Support is one thing, but being a single mother is very hard and unless this man says he is going to marry you- I don't see a point in making a decision that will tie him to you for the next 18 years of your life at a minimum. Perhaps I'm just cold and callous that way.

He also might be considering the economic ramnifications of having a second child, I know personally in this economy the last thing on my mind is popping out a baby. But that's just me. I don't mean to sound snarky, I'm just trying to

You don't know him, why would you have a baby by a man you don't know? 3 months is not even enough time to figure out who he is, this is going down fast, think about what you want because most likely your going to be doing this alone. You think he's avoiding you now, wait until you have that baby.

Posted by complicatedpisces
I have been dating a virguy for three months now, and he told me that he is in love with me. I am in love with him also. He does the disappearing thing sometimes, meaning he will avoid my calls for a day then he will call the next day as if nothing ever happened. He will say he was busy or needed time to think. Well i recently found out I am pregnant. He says that he dosent want anymore kids as he already has a five year old. I feel so torn because how can he say he loves me but dosen't want this baby. I have tried to get him to see this from my point of view but he is so stubborn. Then two days ago he says he talked to his mother and she made him understand where I am coming from. He said that he now is giong to support me and that he still loves me. He also said that no one is at fault and that we both knew what we were doing. He said all of this on my voicemail two days ago and i havent heard from him since. I have called him three times. Any advice?

Baby, if you are going to be having a baby w/this man, there is no real "move on". You will now share a life of another, this is now bigger than the two of you, unless you opt to not have the child or keep the child and that is not the feeling I got when I read this.
He is another Human being, you found out, processed the info, and told him, he is doing the same, and trying to understand as well. He is NOT carrying that child, you are, so to expect him to "feel" like you do, that is not reality. He is feeling, but I am sure SERIOUSLY confused as he just was processing the possibility of love with you, not a family love, just the two of you kind of love. There is not "fix" to these situations, only responsible decisions that work for each and all, choose to be his friend and allow him to be yours and find what works for everyone and what the end result will look like, create a space of workability in your lives, that is the best thing you can dwell on and possibly he as well right now. You did both do this, but one night of sex, fun, love making was not intended to be a lifetime commitment to a third party. Think about it. Much love to you sweetie, it is not a wonderful position to be in, but true enough, you did not get there alone.

Posted by complicatedpisces
I have been dating a virguy for three months now, and he told me that he is in love with me. I am in love with him also.

3 months?
That was fast.

He does the disappearing thing sometimes, meaning he will avoid my calls for a day then he will call the next day as if nothing ever happened.

Very virgoan.

Well i recently found out I am pregnant.

In... just 3 months?

I have tried to get him to see this from my point of view but he is so stubborn.

He's not stubborn, he is just opposite to you.
He will never understand things from your point of view, NEVER.

He said that he now is giong to support me and that he still loves me. He also said that no one is at fault and that we both knew what we were doing. He said all of this on my voicemail two days ago and i havent heard from him since. I have called him three times. Any advice?

click to expand

My advice?
Be patient.

I have known him for a year but we both were seeing other people. We both were single at the sametime and agreed we'd always felt an attraction so we went for it. I do admit being friends and being together is totally different. I want the baby because i really do love him. I don't doubt that he loves me too. I also know that love is not eough to make a relationship last. So now im torn because of how he responded, and if i can stay with him when he acted so mean about me being pregnant but when we were treetrunking i didnt hear any protests. im grown i knew what the chances were and so did he.

Posted by complicatedpisces
I have known him for a year but we both were seeing other people. We both were single at the sametime and agreed we'd always felt an attraction so we went for it. I do admit being friends and being together is totally different. I want the baby because i really do love him. I don't doubt that he loves me too. I also know that love is not eough to make a relationship last. So now im torn because of how he responded, and if i can stay with him when he acted so mean about me being pregnant but when we were treetrunking i didnt hear any protests. im grown i knew what the chances were and so did he.

I think it's time to start thinking about yourself and the baby, he's flaking out so you can't depend on him, so if you choose to have this baby you have to prepare yourself to raise this baby alone, anything he does will be a bonus but you can't depend on him or anyone else to help you, be there for you, he said he doesn't want a baby I think it would be in your best interest to believe him. So now you have to decide if you are really prepared to do this alone, not impossible but unless you have your degree and some money saved up your decision is going to be a hard one to live with, many women choose to be single and have babies so you can do it but you really have to force yourself to get your head out of the clouds and be realistic. I can understand why others say he's a virgo be patient but that baby isn't going to wait on anyone so now you have to decide to do this alone and hope he decides to at least participate beyond paying child support. He's avoiding you, not a good sign but until then give him some space, stop calling and reaching out to him, if you push it will only make matters worse, let him decide to come to you and let him decide to stay on his own.

Posted by complicatedpisces
I have known him for a year but we both were seeing other people. We both were single at the sametime and agreed we'd always felt an attraction so we went for it. I do admit being friends and being together is totally different. I want the baby because i really do love him. I don't doubt that he loves me too. I also know that love is not eough to make a relationship last. So now im torn because of how he responded, and if i can stay with him when he acted so mean about me being pregnant but when we were treetrunking i didnt hear any protests. im grown i knew what the chances were and so did he.

So you want the baby because you love the man? What happens when love goes sour? What happens if he says he wants nothing to do with the baby and is just going to send you a check? What happens if he says he doesn't want anything more to do with YOU? Yes, you knew what the chances were, but we you aware of the long term repercussions? A baby isn't just a "chance" or some object there to remind you of a lover, it's a living human being that is going to be dependent on you for emotional, financial, and physical support.

Having a baby because you love the man sounds like a terrible reason to have one IMO, sorry. Having a baby because you're financially stable and able to invest the time and energy, and feel as if you're in a place in your life where you are mentally and physically ready to do so sounds responsible; the reason you gave, to me, sounds like romanticism of the worst kind.

And of COURSE you're not going to hear any protests when a guy is humping you without a condom on. No birth control? I'm not placing the blame entirely on you, because quite frankly, someone should have said "Let's use lambskin." or "Sweetie how do you feel about NuvaRing?", but you walked FULL WELL into unprotected sex expecting what? Confetti and flowers? From a man you've only been dating for 3 months? Something about that sounds really off to me, especially considering, from your post, you guys never discussed having children together or even potentially walking down the aisle.

So yes, you do have decisions to make. You can be patient and hope he comes around or you can be a bit more proactive on this road that is about to become your life.