The Soul of an Iron Maiden

Hello. It's been a while since I've posted a new topic, but I've been wondering lately about what makes a person; Well, I've also found out that people lack a certain 'thing' within them, and I a certain humility, or perhaps sympathy; like they lack a strong, broader constitution, and can't handle the broader aspects of life; I don't enjoy talking for the sake of talking as I'd prefer not to just 'talk small' (small talk) becuase talking is important, and should convey personal beliefs, and ideas/ideals. I only really have the constitution to talk about things on a massive level, and more important things such as beliefs, aspirations, ideals, hopes, and faith, ascendence...Anything less than that I really can't talk too much about or on...I'm a spirtual person I realized as well; maybe not so much religious, but spiritual; I talk from my soul, not just my heart, and emotions or mind; from my very core. It's the only way I know to talk; I talk from the place that people shut out, I put myself on the line, and become vulnerable, becuase my hope is to enlighten to inspire, and build bridges to higher thought. That is what I honestly what. is this virgoan? is this something new? I'm not sure, but I'm so occupied with the soul as I have been since I was a child; I want to tap the soul, and express it's worth in full; to do that, I must find ispiration, and express the light/radiance within. I am saying is it 'logical' to limit oneself by being stuck in practical situations, or to rise above, and accept the whole. what is life? is it work, and school, and church, or is there something more....what are your beliefs? What is life to you dxpers?

Personally, I've been told by many family members I 'lack social skills' or 'am just not a people person'.....I've always thought that to be just the ignorance of my family; I love them, but they haven't been of much help....I want to understand the soul of a person...their very existence, what they live for, and why they yearn. I spoke to my mother and father yesterday, and told them 'I want to fall in love with the soul of a person, not their physical appearance.....I want their essence, their energy...' they looked at me like I was an alien.....they've ALLWAYS looked at me like an alien; they say initial attraction begins with just 'physical appearences' I laughed at it becuase I knew the TRUTH....it's something else, it's their behavior, the inner beliefs, and outlook you fall in love with; that was just infatuation; I don't want to be infatuated....I want to express/feel their soul's love; for me the body is a barrier...not the 'real person' a person can be felt, but to experience them is quite another story.....I want that experience, which is why love must be 'perfect' to me; the experience means everything.

if love must be perfect. does it mean that you can also "give" the kind of love for someone perfectly overlooking all the imperfections and self safcrificing for the person? or is it more on how you "take" the kind of love given to you by the person?

is it also why most people are pessimistic enough to see love as a weakness and not strength?

lol vgurl, I'm a little slow today, do you think you could talk to me like a 8 year old? lol 😉

I don't believe that they are pessimistic vgurl; just ignorant to it's possibilies and, are in fear of how vulnerable it can make you feel; there is no such thing a s weakness becuase even in weakness, you find strength that you never thought you had. it's being vulnerable, and open that make you aware of how precious a gift you have, in my opinion.

when I said love must be perfect, I don't mean it must be with out flaw; I think that was to litteral; I meant to say that I aim to express, and desire to recieve love that is honest, and shake my bones; a love when you feel your souls are connect even when your bodies are apart. like you carry that person wherever you may go. A love that trancsends space, and time.....perfect means I want to feel this in full; in the full intensity of it's expression. I want to feel as though I my barriers have colapsed, and this person 'knows' me fully...kinda of like a karmatic love....

vgurl? where'd yoo go?
*puts on strong face in hopes vgurl returns*

a love when you feel your souls are connect even when your bodies are apart. like you carry that person wherever you may go. A love that trancsends space, and time.....perfect means I want to feel this in full; in the full intensity of it's expression.

i believe this kind of love still exist. it's just a matter of choices on how to make it happen and exerting extra effort to make it work and the love real.

yes, but think vgurl; isn't the pursuit of this love, even if it is only an ideal the greatest? becuase unfortunately yes, there is an end to the search, and then it's over......I suppose that will be the final journey, or perhaps the begining of a whole new one!!.....I appologize, I've just ingested a jar of jelly beans, and I'm soon on my way to get my stomach pumped....curse you jelly beans in your multi-colored splendor!!!!!! 😛

I was so impressed with myself when I made this topic up....wow, I'd be lucky to shack up with a person who thought like me! lol

*gazes into a mirror and becomes love sick* 🙂

isn't the pursuit of this love, even if it is only an ideal the greatest? becuase unfortunately yes, there is an end to the search, and then it's over......I suppose that will be the final journey, or perhaps the begining of a whole new one!!

yes it is the greatest of all when someone found true love.

they stop all the search and treasure the ones they've got dearly. unfortunately there can be some who gets bored with it, some grow tired of it, and some can just choose to fall out of it in a flash. but for those who are strong enough, they not only become contented, fulfilled, grateful but they don't get afraid that they will lose them the next day. it'll be pointless to worry about difficult decisions, hard words and serious matters because they know they have the rest of their lives together for conversation.

BUT take note this can only happen when BOTH parties are willing to exert extra effort, become submissive to make things work them -- both in a win-win situation.

Yes, I see; love is sacrifice, and sacrifice is love.......

Perhaps I think too highly of the 'ideal' of the capture, but not the actual thing.....

"love is sacrifice, and sacrifice is love......."

Damn right.

it is.....but when in love, TRUE LOVE, isn't it like alchemy?.....I mean it doesn't feel like equivalent exchange, even though it is, and it just feels so natural to get, and give, that you don't notice these passings; they're just so natural; I'm to idealistic....

Perhaps I think too highly of the 'ideal' of the capture, but not the actual thing.....

you mean you can't sacrifice for the one you love?

you can't really tell how far you can go unless you have found the one that made you stop the search.

"this can only happen when BOTH parties are willing to exert "

Oh yeah, VE...that's the part I'm been worried about.

"The universe has only one rule: Nothing shall come to pass until all conditions are right."

Is that the same as when Moms say, "If it was meant to be it will be," and vice versa and so on? Guess so.

I'm = Ive

If one believes in fate lovethatvirgoman; things happen, and then things happen for no reason other than for us just to figure out why in the hell they happened in the first place! sometimes, you have to show a little initiative, and then things might just take off....

(you took your time about this subject, didn't you? )



"sometimes, you have to show a little initiative, and then things might just take off...."


Oh, my VIRGOEXALTED...how I Wish this were true in my case. I did take some initiative the day before yesterday and actually against my better judgement, but went along with a friend (who was sure this was the thing to do) to visit where I knew I would see my berchet.


Heart and head pounding, I felt like I was having an out of body experience going there. I cried, stopped, turned around and headed back to my car, stopped again but then went to the place. The entire scenario turned to disaster.

It is difficult to explain what happened, but I'll just say long story short: he ignored me or did not see me. (I believe he did though)

It seems to me that since August, EveryThing I have said or done has been wrong somehow. I have said or done all of the "NO" things...even used sex to lure (bad mistake), the entire book of no's...I should frame the list and put it on my wall someplace, because I have mastered each one.

Neil Young sang about being "on the losing end."

That'd be me.

Maybe it just was not meant to be.

Maybe this is one of those things that happened for no reason and I'm left to "figure out why."

I lived in a little world of my own making for several years (while we were just friends) and wouldn't let him or anyone into my world. Now I'm left to pay the price, for what seems like will be the rest of my life.

I keep trying to ask myself...if you believe you know who it is that you are meant to be with and that "who" doesn't want to be with you....is it better to live your whole life in love at a distance, or is it better to settle for "someone" who will fill the hole in your heart and soul partially. I hate mediocrity...so I probably will just live my life in love with a memory. It doesn't look like we will ever reach our potential.

I feel like it was all my fault, but I know deep inside that it really isn't ALL my fault.

I've been reading lots of psychology. If only I'd read some of it sooner.

I'll probably end up to be one of those lost and lonely people who walks up and down main street mumbling to themselves all day.

Sorry...I'm just not in a very good mood, I suppose. I'll get use to it again. I lived without him before, and I will again.

It was so sweet of you to write back on this.

ltvm

"Personally, I've been told by many family members I 'lack social skills' or 'am just not a people person'.....I've always thought that to be just the ignorance of my family"


LOL.....don't ALL virgos see it that way? ROTF

I'm sure it's broader than just virgoans cancerla 🙂

lovethatvirgoman, it's definitely a possibility; maybe you must understand where you are coming from, like what is your main reason for pursuing this goal? a little introspection here and there never hurt anyone! One must understand their main focus/drive in order to keep the faith in the fight/pursuit. keep at it! just alter your aproach, and push forward! If this is what you want, I'm sure it will work out for the best ultimately.

Sometimes the truth is not people-pleasing. I think from what I read, you must be direct in your speech.

VIRGOEXALTED,

I have to think about what you are saying. You agree with the minority. You are saying be proactive which surprises me. I like proactive, normally.

I'll think about it.

Meanwhile, could you answer this?
If you put space between you and your love, because you are afraid to death that your love is going to rip your heart out and tear it to shreds (again) and if that space was invaded by her before you had sufficient time to make any move...well...what would life be like for you right then? Maybe it would make a difference how she approached you?

ltvm

Ummmmmm...need to add to the scenario...she was just protecting herself from you, 'cause you ripped out HER heart and ripped it to shreds long before that. When you tried to make amens...she didn't see you there, and you 2 were just suppose to be friends. When she made love to you once, 5 years later, it was just because she thought that was all you wanted from her. She didn't realize you were for real.

ltvm

Then take the first step, and put your emotions out there; I would at least take the first move so as to know I won't have any regrets; can't tell how she feels TRUTHFULLY until you make your move; say for instance she's afraid of her feelings for you; she just needs you to prove to her that when she metaphorically "falls" you'll be there to pick her up....she needs to know the intensity of feelings you have for her....I think you guys should sit down have a nice long chat NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!! TAKE TIME OUT TO DO IT RIGHT SO YOU TWO KNOW WHAT EACH OTHER FEELS!! (using caps to emphasize importance) Um about her just moving in without giving you time....well, life dosen't give you time....we we're made MUTEABLE for a reason ya know! lol just see where it goes! state what you feel, and ask her the same; If you feel you want her despite the tearing your heart out thing, see that long talk thing....clear the air between you two, once and for all, and even if it dosen't INITIALLY work out the way you want, you two at least trust each other, and have some rapport between the two of you. You'll get it right! Then after this talk, if she can't tell you are 4 reel, than she's probably playing games, and ask her if she wants to be friends or something else...when you state your feelings in a frank, honest, and sincere way, you'll get results; and remember, ask her for the same.

yes, you should try to be direct, but if not just be yourself honestly, and altruistically. but that wasn't what I meant when I spoke that; I was saying, ask yourself, "is this what I really, honestly, and frankly want?" you've got to ask yourself why your fighting to understand yourself, your cause/purpose, and your role in the relationship better; perhaps that's why virgos seem a little reserved in demonstration of love; we are figuring out what we feel, and trying to express it. Even if the truth is not people pleasing, it is the honest, to goodness truth; in a relationship that's important...if two people loose that honest communication....that plane will go down in flames, and all you worked for would be for nothing. Ask yourself what you really want...get up in your head, and think, and feel it out until you've come to a conclusion for you whole self.

VIRGOEXALTE😱

She's a HE.
What I mean is, I am a Taurean woman; he is a Virgoan man.

Do you still say the same? Or — Leave those proactive initiatives up to him—?

Nevertheless, I already took your advice (so, too late 😉 ), and it was a good thing. I was proactive and I can't tell ALL here, but I was SO tired of crying everyday and NOT being able to breathe (it has been 2 months since we spoke to one another...that's too long for this situation), that I had to confront him gently and I'm glad I did, because we have made a tiny step in the right direction >>>Friendship (no benefits). I just could not stand not even being friends anymore. So if that is all we ever are, I will accept that. I think he has to take it from here. I will give it some more time now and see if he will work on the relationship or if he has other interests in love matters. Me, I have lots of other work to keep me busy for awhile. Also, he does, too, so if too much time passes again, I will remind him that my heart is still beating for him.

Thanks,
ltvm