Virgo Man Crisis Help!

So I've been lurking around the boards for a few months now and I've read a lot of the older threads about the way Virgo men disappear etc. I'm having a somewhat unique situation though, and I was hoping that those who are familiar with Virgos can help me out.

I've known this Virgo guy for 15 years (we've known each other since childhood, we're both in our 20's). Although we have never dated, we have always had a "thing" for one another, however because we both moved/went to college we were never able to cultivate a relationship. We have, however, always kept in touch. Recently, we decided to take a shot at a relationship and decided to literally meet one another in the middle by driving half of the distance between us and spending the weekend together. Long story short, I got there before he did. And on his way to meet me he got pulled over, arrested and held for possession of a small amount of marijuana. Since he was several hours late, not to mention a long drive, I freaked out/panicked and called his house (he lives with his parents) just to ask if he was there. Later on he sent me a few brief texts explaining what happened and where he was being held.

Well later that night around 1 after his parents came to pick him up from the police station he sent me a text asking me "why I called his parents" and when I responded that I called his HOUSE because I was worried and wanted to know if he was there. He responded with a short "never call my house." I haven't heard from him since.

Even though it was only a few days ago, I feel like he's mad at me or that I've done something wrong. I drove 500 miles for that weekend and I'm really upset that I didn't get to see him. We've had small rough patches during these years and he's always gotten back in touch with me. But this is the most dramatic thing that has happened to us and I can't help but feel like things have changed. So I guess my question is, should I take his silence as him getting his life in order? Or should I assume that his ignoring me has something to do with me? Will he back?

@WhiteLotus87.He may be upset,have a bruised ego,be embarrassed and maybe his parents put tighter grip on him.Maybe,no more road trips until he's paid them back? since he's under their roof.Ya might never know what happened between him and them.At least they are close enough that he could call them when in a tight spot.It was a normal considerate
thing to do on your part to call his house to see where he was if you couldn't raise him on his cellphone.Why should you be restricted from EVER calling his home?Really how well do you know him as a friend?Deep dark secret friends or a kinda hey friend?What stopped you guys for hooking up in the past?You can be aquainted with someone for years without really knowing them.People can change over the years.

Shouldn't the shoe be on the other foot?Even as just friends and not in a relationship, wasn't he even worried that you were left stranded in a strange place ? Alone?And having to drive back to your home by yourself?Was he even sorry that you were left hanging?When was the last time that you really talked deeply with him before this?Do you really want to do a long distance thing?What do you want out of this of this relationship?Just a fb thing or more?

I think it's not a disappearing Virgo thing at this point,it a 20 something young guy thing.Am I close guys?If this is meant to be,it will,but maybe not as soon as you hoped for.I would give him a couple of weeks to sort things out.Let him wonder about you!Did he lose out on you?Are YOU going to contact him again?Do You want anything to do with him ?He should be thinking how much sorry does he have to show you ,to get back on your good side?I'm sure he knows how much you care/feel by the tone of your texts and your words.He should meet you half way.He should be living up to Your expectations,not just, a hey ! I'm back in your life for a moment thing.As even a basic thinking of your potential future together whatever that may hold,he should be thinking that he's the one that messed it up.Definitely give him space to get his scat together. Maybe it's not yet time for you two.In the meanwhile you take of you first.Be kind to yourself and true to your inner feelings.Good Luck.

Thanks 25thdecan. I guess I'm just...feeling unsure because I don't want to pester him with my feelings and concerns if he's not going to be receptive. I've read on other threads here that its best not to bother virgos when they decide to take space. Should I just wait for him to contact me? I'm trying to be understanding with his situation, even though I don't know what's going on.....

Posted by WhiteLotus87

I don't want to pester him with my feelings and concerns if he's not going to be receptive. I've read on other threads here that its best not to bother virgos when they decide to take space.

Being pissed off at you isn't the same thing as him needing to take space .. I thought you said you've been reading in here for a while? The Virgo taking space only happens once the Virgo has become smitten and needs to re-evaluate .... thus far, you don't even have a correct contact number for him.

You don't even know what Virgos take space for.

He doesnt' even care enough about you to bother .... and you have built this into such a an emotional entanglement that you actually have yourself thinking about if you want a person who is going to be receptive to you if you pour your feelings out to him?

You don't even have correct contact information from him yet .. and your concern is whether or not he's going to be receptive to you at this moment of wanting to pour your feelings out to him?


::: shakes head :::

I just can't believe that once women get feelings, they stop using their brains .... jsut really irritates the fuck out of me. Ok, let me tell you then, since you can't figure it out.


You got him in trouble with his parents by calling them. For whatever reason his parents and him would have an issue with this doesn't matter .. the reality is .. it's there.

AT this moment he is dealing with the issue between him and his parents.

because you are female with feelings .. you think it's all about you, since your brain stopped working properly.

At this moment you think you are the center of his thoughts/feelings because YOU have feelings, and so are contemplating whether or not you should share with him while he's in issue resolution with his parents which you confuse yourself into thinking he has retreated to his mancave.


AT this time .. you aren't even apart of the equation .. he's dealing with his family and legal issues. If you bombard him now with your misplaced feelings and expectations that he should respond to you because you think how you feel is paramount .... then he's likely to pull away from you even as a friend.


Step down from your throne .. this isn't about you with him right now .. it's about him, his family and the law.


::: shakes head some more :::

Hi P-Angel, I think you might be confused about some of the details that I provided so allow me to clarify.

1. I have known this man for 15 years, and I have ALL of his contact information, including multiple phone numbers. How do you think we've been in touch this whole time?

2. I did not get him in trouble with his parents. Before he told me what happened I was worried about his whereabouts and simply called his house and asked to speak to him, and his parents responded that he wasn't home. I never told them anything, because I didn't KNOW anything at the time. Thus, there is no way that I could have gotten him in trouble.

3. I know his parents. We were neighbors for 10 years. They asked me how I was when I called.

4. I know it's not all about me. I'm just trying to find a way to let him know that I care about him without being annoying. Like I've said before, I've known him forever and I'm just worried.

The amount of idiots in this world is shocking.

Vulcanlass's post is so right on...Lets say I was on my way to meet someone 500 miles away. I get pulled over and arrested...Of course I am totally upset about my situation, am I going to jail? Can my family afford to bail me out? Will I survive jail? BUT, I would do everything in my power to contact the person I was supposed to be meeting. Or at least when I can contact them, I would apologize for not showing up. Ask if they were ok. (Because it was my STUPIDITY to be caught with pot anyway).

@Whitelotus: You should not be blamed for being worried. You've known his family for years. Let him realize that he is wrong and come to you. He should be apologizing.

wow .. sometimes I really truly wonder how women function in this world .. because their feelings make them completely illogical.


I hope to god that we never have a female President