Virgos Cheating

OK I don't get this at all......I've known a male virgo for years - I was a client for a long time and somehow in there we fell in love or so I thought. He was married at the time and so was I so we kept it platonic well, not quite there was some flirting involved. I left my husband and 2 months later he shows up with separation papers telling me that he's leaving his wife.

I started seeing him and realized that we were so compatible and fun together as did he - he was rushing things though and I was going through a very nasty divorce at the time. His wife asked him to stay and got the kids to cry on his shoulder so he did. Problem is though that he never let go of me.

He left his wife approx a year ago and the first thing that he did was tell a friend of mine that he was seeing someone else. I really had a hard time with all of this and didn't contact him for the past year. I haven't stopped thinking about him though and would really like to get back together. I finally broke down and called him. He was sooooo excited to hear from me - just like old times - he told me he missed me and listens to the cd I made him all of the time then he says in the same breath that well, not all of the time, once a month then says that he has a girlfriend and he's sure I was told. Then he says that we should really get together for coffee and called me sweatheart throughout the entire conversation! I'm leaving a lot of details out since I could write a book about us! At the end of the conversation he said that I should stay in contact and call him - don't be a stranger - I could tell that there was some sense of groveling and I have suspicions that this girlfriend really exists but what do I do about it? I told him that if he wants to get a hold of me he knows how. He didn't take that well but there's so much confusion I can take. Am I out to lunch here? Is he just sorting out his new life? He's recently divorced and it didn't go smoothly either and he lost one of his children to her via custody so he has two female teens living with him right now - that was 2 months ago - what is the best way to handle all of this - I know he won't apologize or admit he's wrong - that would be crazy but does he realize how much he hurt me - the other thing is during the last year he'd call and let the phone ring once. I can't answer it in that short period of time - what does he want from me?

Help!!!!!!

Chill with this VirGuy. He's got way too much going on right now, and way too much mess to sort out!

I agree...find someone else...there are always more fish in the sea...

I would let him go. He does have a lot going on but at the end of the day, he's not with you.

It's crazy but all the Virgo men I know have been cheaters, which is weird because other earth signs don't typically do that.

What a mess! Sorry you've had to go through so much. This guy doesn't seem to be worth your time at all (don't mean to sound to harsh though). Basically, he seems somewhat confused and doesn't know what he wants. Of course he says for you to call him - don't be a stranger. Heck, why should you be the only one doing the contacting? No no no no. That letting the phone ring only once is so annoying. Maybe you have caller-id and his number shows up. Then at least you've seen he's called and of course out of respect you'll call him. I dislike that one someone does that. No one sits by a phone and picks it up on the first ring.

So he has a girlfriend. Big deal. Let him have his girlfriend and be happy with her. You certainly don't need someone to mistreat you. Besides, he may not have the best relationship with his girlfriend and could be looking at also rekindling something with you if you call him. No no no no. You have to have self respect and not let a man play you up and down. I understand you miss him and that's only natural. You know the saying: "Set it free, if it comes back to you it was meant to be, if it doesn't it never was yours". Go on with your life because you deserve better.

Then you have the situation with him being newly divorced. Can you imagine what his girlfriend has had to go through while he's been dealy with a nasty divorce? I can guarantee you it's been a bumpy ride and you lucked out royally. Be glad for that.

This man doesn't seem like anyone you should want to get involved with again. Your best bet is to stay away. If he contacts you be friendly but not overly friendly. Don't you call him. For what? No gain there. You have to put this experience/relationship as one of life's lessons in which you were suppose to learn.

I would advice you to read about Virgo here on the forum. There are 20 pages but it will be well worth the read I can tell you. You will get so much insight into how Virgos are (both positive and negative) and become enlighted.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

Mystical

I wish I could let him go, unfortunately we've been at this for 8 years. I don't really question whether or not he loves me I just don't know if he's just afraid of gettig hurt again - his wife cheated on him which is the cause for the break up - will he call after sorting out his life? I've dated men since but he's really won my heart over - like I said I do belive he truly loves me but doesn't want to be vulnerable and I think doesn't want to involve me in his problems right now....true?

Thanks Mystical,

I have been reading the postings and I agree with you that I am very lucky not to be involved in his problems right now. Over the last 7 years he has been nothing but honest and wonderful to me - literally the week after he moved out of the house is when all of this happened. I expected the turmoil but don't understand the push pull going on - is he looking for me to chase him? I DO have more self respect than that but if this is just a matter of time to allow him to sort out his life and feelings then I can give him that - he allowed me the same respect while I was going through mine - I guess my biggest question is will he call me when he's done sorting out his life - we were talking marriage plans!! Then boom - gone!

Oh, the push and pull thing. I've been dealing with that also for the past month with a Virgo guy. He's really been a winner I can tell you. He and I have only known each other since January. He had dumped his girlfriend of 7 months of being together (they were also engaged for 2 months). Then he dumped her in December because he couldn't handle her past. I came into his life at the end of January and he was very eager to get with me which scared me very much. I couldn't understand this at all. He and I are very good friends now but there was a time at the ending of March I felt him slip away. He would be in daily contact with me for two months. Then at the ending of March I had a gut feeling something wasn't right. I called him out of curiousity to find out what was going on since he and I are friends. Turned out he had a girlfriend. He just didn't have the guts to tell me. Alright then I thought. I was peeved to say the least. Not that he had a girlfriend because that's his business but that he didn't tell me what was going on. I didn't understand this at all. I figured the friendship was over. Then I became so sad (why I'll never know) for two weeks. Then I swallowed my pride and gave him a friendly call just to check up on him. He was so glad to hear from me also. Just like your guy. This guy was sleeping when I called him and told me he would call me later. I didn't put make faith into it all that I would hear from him. To my astonishment he did call me later that day and everything was back to normal. You see, he tried to push me away and I (since I've never dealt with Virgos before fell for it) pulled away. My gut told me to try one more time. Sure he has his girlfriend but I found out when he called me back that he isn't happy with his girlfriend either. He thinks he's better off alone than with anybody. He's away at work now for a while. He has promised to stay in contact with me. I haven't put much faith in that either but he's keeping his promises although at times I lose faith. Then he surprises me again. Like yesterday, he called me but I was in another room and didn't hear the cell phone. Therefore I sent him a text message about 2 hours later saying I saw he called and we'll talk soon.

Just wanted to give you a little more insight into what I have learnt. There are others on this forum that have much more experience with Virgos but I felt I should respond to you.

Yes, I think he wants you to chase him. Why shouldn't he? Everybody likes to have someone interested in them. He doesn't deserve to be chased either. He has a girlfriend and I can guarantee you she isn't having an easy time with him either. Yes, you should give him all the space he needs to hang himself (I don't mean that literally but you get my point). Sometimes in life you wish for something so badly and when you get it it wasn't that great after all and you wonder why in the world did you wish for that to happen? Well, this guy needs space let him have it.

I don't think he'll ever be able to sort his life out completely. I mean he has his kids to take care of, then there is the ex-wife who he has to have some kind of contact with because of the kids and maybe they argue (I don't know but since the divorce was nasty I don't think they are overly nice towards each other) and then there is the girlfriend who has stuck with him through this nasty divorce. She hasn't been staying around just to walk away now. She has had to go through a lot with him now and she more than likely loves him. oh, and those marriage plans I'm sure are out the window too. He more than likely has been talking about marriage with his girlfriend also. This is nothing you need to be involved with at all. There will be too much pain in the end.

Hope I have helped at least a little.

Mystical

CancerBuddy,

Right to the point. Very good. It's not easy understanding Virgos, especially the ones who, unfortuately, try and take advantage like in this case is doing. I don't understand Virgos either. I've tried but now I'm learning about them. Very interesting.

Mystical

Very interesting..thats sayin the least

Hopelessdreamr,

I know what you mean. At times I think I've lost my mind too. Never happened to me before either. Hope it never does again. I'm back again but I've changed also.

Mystical

You guys are so right - what the hell am I doing- I am better than someone who is so emotionally immature - I have been patient, understanding etc. not perfect but I certainly tried. I'm tired of the Virgo excuses - if he can't compensate for his shortcomings than that is not my problem. If he's having issues that's not my problem either. I'm not going to contact him, appease him or anything! If he can't see that I'm a catch as well then I do need to move on and find someone who does!

I really appreciate your advice guys and it is very very much his loss!

brandon..LMAO :O