When keeping it real goes wrong.....

..... eh, it is what it is. I've gotta let Mr. Virgo go.....

he's poisoning his life. I can't take it anymore. There just comes a point where even an Aries gal gives up. I gave it what I thought it deserved, I never did him wrong, and I was always honest with him. I can rest my head knowing that I was always straight forward.

I found out that he was courting a mother of three over facebook and over text messages. She is friends with his brother, she lives in another state, so I know nothing sexual has gone on, but I'm not going to deal with that. Even if we were just friends, I would be uncomfortable with it because she is recently divorced, so she is fragile, plus she has three kids. She's automatically going to attach herself to what comes her way, because what choices does she have? She has three kids, and no guy in their right mind is going to want to get tied down that fast. So, he's playing with a big no-no in my opinion, and as a female, I don't agree to it.

And I don't agree to her behaving that way as a mother. She doesn't know him. She knew OF him 15 years ago when she was friends growing up with his brother. She doesn't know who he is today!!! There is no one-on-one contact... he can totally control and manipulate her by controlling and manipulating what she can see of him. What is out of sight is out of mind..... what she can't see she doesn't know!!! It's so gross!!! And disturbing!!! What's even more disturbing is that she plans on moving back here, buying a house, and having him move in with her. Apparently he has said yes..... how is this even normal behavior— How is she even sitting in her head thinking that this is a good idea to move her 3 kids, pull them away from the life they know, and move them in with someone that she doesn't even know. She just got divorced!!! Where is the stability for the kids—??

Anyways, I wrote him a message expressing that we need space and that we are no longer. I also told him that I knew of the mommy of three, and I was a bit harsh about it, saying that I don't respect women like that, especially a mother who is willing to create an unstable environment for her kids. It's not healthy!!!!

I was very frank with him. Told him that he can play his games with other people, but I'm no longer putting up with it. I told him that I don't like games, and that I don't play games with people. I expressed that I now see that it was just a thrill of the chase, and that I'm not angry or hurt by that, because when things started going wrong, I started to cushion for the fall. I placed the blame on me, so that he wouldn't feel attacked, expressed that I accept my responsabilities for my actions, but that I'm at a point where I realize that this isn't going to work because I'm old fashioned and believe that men should traditionally behave a certain way. There was no commitment, so I can't be angry with him, but there was the effort to work on something.

I also expressed that I feel that he's unmotivated in life and taht I see that his passions are fading for things that he held in high regard before. The self-medicating is more out of control, and I just see him tail spinning, crashing and burning. My fear, since I see the big picture.... this mom is willing to start a new life with him, and she's going to be left picking up the pieces. It's just so unfair on so many levels, because he's not even motivated to do something about his life.

But I have to let it go, because his dangerous and reckless behavior is designed to be hurtful towards others. Needless to say, he responded very angrily, became abusive in tone, and told me to go back to florida. What was hurtful about that last comment is that he knows that I've been thinking about moving back since my father is slowly but surely losing his battle with cancer. That comment stung, but it's just further proof that I don't need him in my life.

It's such weak sauce!!!! And he is acting pathetic. He told me that the mom is a friend, and became really abusive towards me when he was talking about her. I told him that he is setting himself up for failure, because all he is in that situation is a replaceMENT for the broken marriage that she wants back. I told him that I understand that he's angry, because he got served in his own game, got exposed, and looks like a retard.

The bottom line is, he doesn't control me. And he's been playing a power trip game with me for too long now. Things were going great, but alas, now I know why he was trying to smooth things over with me. I sensed it, and I got my answers.

How are you so sure that he is moving in with her?
That he wants to be with her?

Virgos like to help people in need, and she sounds to be in a situation where she is very needy.

I think you're blowing it out of proportion and made some radical and brash actions and comments towards him, which set off his anger.

If you are right though, you knew this was going to happen based on what you knew about him prior to your "relationship" with him.

How unfortunate.

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
Are you SURE about all of this? how do you know?

Virgo mindfuck

Posted by Cajunspirit
How are you so sure that he is moving in with her?
That he wants to be with her?

I have solid proof of it. I'm friends with his brother too, and his brother mentioned it. And I don't think that he wants to be with her, it's more of the convenience of it because she's got money and he's struggling financially.

Virgos like to help people in need, and she sounds to be in a situation where she is very needy.

She's recently divorced. She is a recently single mom of three kids. I understand her need. I'm a woman. She's scared of her situation. It is one thing to HELP a person in need. It's entirely different to play on someone's weakness when they are already weakened by a life altering experience. He's a drug addict with financial problems and very unstable. She's in an unstable situation herself. How is he going to HELP her situation—?? He's only going to creat further heart break for her.

I think you're blowing it out of proportion and made some radical and brash actions and comments towards him, which set off his anger.

Maybe I am blowing out of proportion. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend like him and I got something solid going on, and I'm not going to put my efforts toward building up something, when he's on the side trying to establish somthing else with somebody else. If I can't express to somebody that I'm close with how I'm feeling, then the basis of the relationship isn't there, right? and if he resepcted me, then he would try and fix it rather than get angry. It's been my experience that when people get called out, and when they are doing something wrong, they will respond with anger.

If you are right though, you knew this was going to happen based on what you knew about him prior to your "relationship" with him.

Correct, and that is why I need the space from him. But after the way he responded, I think that maybe he shouldn't be in my life at all. I take responsibilty of my actions. I was taking things slow incase something like this happened. Perhaps he got discouraged with the slowness and decided to go establish something with someone who is looking for right now, aka the recently divorced mother of three.

How unfortunate.

click to expand

Eh.... it is what it is and it will be what it will be. I have left it open ended w

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
Are you SURE about all of this? how do you know?

Yes, I am sure. I would of never ended things like things if I wasn't sure. That would of been unrational. His brother is the one who mentioned it to me.

What sparked my curiousity, is that she commented on a post that I put on his facebook page where she mentioned about him coming out to she her in March. I didn't say shit about it to him that I saw it. I waited to see how things would play out, and they ended playing out in my favor. I would rather know then to suffer the sting.

I know that Virgos have secret lives. He is entitled to do what he wants to do. He is a grown man after all...... and I'm going to be the big girl and walk away.

When is his birthday again?

Posted by Cajunspirit
When is his birthday again?

September 6th, 1981

i know it hurts but M.I.A...i think you made the right decision. isn't this the same virgo who has a substance abuse problem? i know you care for him but if your father is ill, screw the man, screw this astrology crap, screw the job...focus on finding a way to get back to florida. you have a lifetime to self-correct, but you only have this time to be with your father. in retrospect, i would've done things differently if i would've known when my mom would leave me.

the point is, right now you have a choice, do your best to exercise it. the man, if it's meant to be, will be there tomorrow and the next day. your father...?

best wishes

You should definitely move on, once he start abusing drugs, he lost all respect for himself. He obviously lost respect for you now. You are doing the right thing.

I am so sorry MIA. You are a strong woman and I have a lot of respect for you. Keep doing right by you lady.

I think you did the right thing. It's better to move on to those that won't bring you down with them. :/

I am sooo sorry MIA! You sound like such a wonderful person and you sure didn't deserve this. I do agree that you should move on to someone that does deserve you and recognizes what a loyal and caring woman that you are. He has so many problems in his life and unfortunately you can't solve them for him as much as I know you would like to.
You have a lot going on in your life that you are having to deal with and go through and you don't need his additional problems. It is just NOT healthy for you and there are many other fish (and I don't mean just Pisces...lol) in the sea honey!
I wish you well and I send thoughts and prayers your way to make you stronger. Time can heal all things.
Take care of yourself first and foremost darlin.
P.S. Thanks for the message! :-)

Oh M.I.A I know you must be hurt and angry about the way he dealt with you. If it's one thing i hate-- it's being manipulated and deceived! And then he didn't have the courtesy to let you know what was really going on---i.e. if what you found out is true etc. I believe you are strong enough to get through this. My thoughts are with you. ((((hug))))

No sympathy needed............ I just know him too well. I know that neither one of us want this separation, but I can't keep up with him going down the rabbit hole, and he can't keep up with my pace of life.

I believed for a moment that he wanted to get better, and that his recent actions proved that he wanted to do right for himself. I'm not disappointed in him. I'm disappointed in myself. I hate giving up on anything in my life. I would rather bang my head out of desperation and bleed everywhere/. I'm a karmic person... I believe that he needs to walk his path in life. I am grateful that I got my answers before I put forth any effort to establish anything else.

He can continue being angry at me, but I have never been dishonest with him, and I have never wronged him. I'm not hurt.... I'm just in awe how people can behave and act. Maybe it's my fault that I don't understand that he feels the need to do the destructive things in his life. I don't have the key to unlock him. I wouldn't want somebody to unlock me.

I think we all have those moments where we fake it. We fake in order to survive. Because knowing means having to accept the truth, while believing means knowing half the truth. So even though it may mean that the glass is actually half full, believing that it's half empty means that it can still be filled up.

Maybe we all hide behind what we value. Some hide behind God, but do un-Godly thing. Some hide behind love, and do un-loving things. Some hide behind morals, but do un-moral thing. Maybe I hide behind my honesty to do dishonest things...... must we look at each other and our un-do's in order to undo the action that hides behind the original intent?

Long night..... thanks to everyone who posted. I think deep down inside I did the right thing. He's going to punish me either way. He's going to be angry either way. I would rather that it happens now, then further down the line when things could of gotten really complicated. I'm just grateful that I got the answers that I needed to hear........ this doesn't mean that he's a bad person. He's going through a negative phase in his life. It was starting to bring me down, but once I get my courage and strength back, I know I'll e okay. Another reminder and another lesson......

thanks Virgos (and other signs) for letting me vent. I appreciate it.....

Or maybe I'm just as scared as he is.......